34

sebastian

 

“Roman!” I called. The fucking guy walked faster than I expected as I followed him into a parking garage. “Jesus fucking Christ, man. Slow the hell down!”

Whirling on his heel, he turned to face me. “What do you want?” he spat at me. “I’m an incredibly busy man and I have places I need to be right now.”

“Oh, I’m sure,” I snickered. “I’m sure there’s an army of people just itching to hear from the infamous Roman Dolecki, and I am the lucky low-life that you’re devoting your precious—”

“I really don’t have fucking time for this,” he interrupted with a patronizing chuckle. “Congratulations, by the way.”

I squinted my eyes, stepping toward him. “Congratulations for what?”

“For getting to her first.” There was that crocodile grin of his, cracking away at his all-business façade, revealing the fractured pride underneath. “You will never win with her, though. I hope you realize that. Women of her stature deserve to be won by men who deserve them.”

“I don’t want to fucking win,” I let slip through my lips, and Roman laughed.

“No, I guess you wouldn’t. Men like you don’t know what it’s like to win pussy like that.” He snickered, tipping his head back to glare at the concrete rafters. “Oh my God. I can’t believe I just called you a man.”

“Dude, why are you such a piece of shit?” I took another step toward him, noting the way he flinched.

Roman shook his head. “I’m not. I’m a good man, and I care about her. The last thing I want is to see her being dragged down to your level of trash.”

I snickered. “You know what? I really don’t give a fuck what you think of me, Roman. Because I’m always going to be around. And the second you do something to hurt her, that’s when I’ll be there to kick your fucking ass.”

“Oh?” His sinister laugh echoed throughout the parking garage. “You’re threatening me?”

“Yeah, I fucking am,” I growled. I took one final step, my eyes an inch or two above his.

I heard her footsteps behind me, but I didn’t turn around. “Sebastian, get away from him right now. Roman, I am so—”

“Is this the type of miscreant you want associated with your company?” Roman spoke around me but never took his eyes away from mine.

“Dude, you can’t call me a fucking miscreant when you just talked about her like she’s a prize you can fucking win.” I held his fiery gaze and shook my head.

“Don’t you dare put words like that into my mouth,” Roman shouted, prodding a finger against my shoulder.

“You asshole.” I shook my head, snorting. “You were just talking about winning pussy—”

Tabby gasped. “Is he serious?”

Roman uttered a disgusted sound and turned his gaze from mine to shake his head at her. “I hope you know I would never use language like that when speaking about a lady, and especially not you.”

“No, I don’t believe that you would,” she stated. Her voice was a knife, slicing me open as I turned on my heel to stare at her, disbelieving and so gut-wrenchingly hurt, I could hardly breathe.

“You’re fucking kidding me, Tabby,” I wheezed, my fists clenching and unclenching with the power of my fury.

She held her palm up and out, stopping me from speaking any further as she stepped toward us. “Roman, I’m so, so sorry about this. I hope you know—”

He shook his head and folded his arms over his chest. “I understand that your connection to him is a difficult one to sever. But I hope that you will also understand my hesitation to continue our business relationship, as well as our, ah … personal one.”

The tone of his voice made my skin crawl as I wondered what he meant by that. Was she screwing him? Nausea steamrolled over me at the thought.

Tabby’s face fell, and she shook her head as she rushed toward him. “Roman, you can’t possibly expect me to cut all ties with him, just for us to continue …” Her words trailed off, and I felt the slightest bit of triumph in knowing that she would at least stand firmly against removing me from her life.

“Well, then, I’m sorry, but—”

“Are you kidding me?” Her voice was shrill, strained against her frustration and anger. “Roman, I will understand if you never want to go on another date with me, but are you seriously going to destroy our working relationship because of him?” She thrust a trembling hand in my direction and her fingertips brushed against my chest. Her voice was wavering—she was going to cry—and all I wished to do was hug her. Or punch him. Whichever.

“There are other houses and other realtors out there,” he stated firmly.

I was immediately stunned by his willingness to throw everything away. The house, the partnership. The girl. “You’re un-fucking-believable, you know that?” I growled, turning to face him. “Everything is that disposable to you?”

He shook his head and straightened his tie, but he was silent as he walked away into the parking garage. And then, Tabby and I were alone. Her tears fell silently over her cheeks, dripping from her chin and onto the concrete floor.

I touched her shoulder. “Tabby, I’m—”

She stepped away from my touch, glaring at me with a watery, cold stare. “You had no right, Sebastian. You had no right to talk to him the way you did. Hell, you had no right to talk to him at all!”

“I didn’t like the way he was talking to you,” I reasoned, pulling my hand back, crossing my arms and clutching at my sides. “He can’t treat you like a piece of garbage because of who you decide to spend time with, Tabby. Is that really the type of guy you want?”

“You don’t get to decide how people talk to me, Sebastian. Nobody gets to decide that but me,” she snapped.

“Yeah, well, maybe someone should,” I spat back, “and maybe that someone should be me.”

Shaking her head, she took a step back toward the street. “It will never be you, and this is exactly why. You’re incapable of biting your tongue and being an adult. You just can’t do it, and maybe in your world, that’s fine, but in mine? It’s not.”

“If this is about what happened with Roman, then I will fix—”

“Fuck Roman,” she replied bitterly. “But fuck you also, for ruining my business deal after I’ve been trying to sell that goddamn house for nearly a year. That was my last shot at it. Did you know that? I told Alex that if I couldn’t sell it to Roman, I’d give it up to him, so I guess that’s that. Thank you so much.”

Guilt stricken, I thrust a hand through my hair. “Tabby …”

She uttered a groan of frustration. “God, Sebastian, why couldn’t you just, for once, keep your mouth shut?” With that, she turned around and hurried toward the street.

I clenched my eyes shut, shaking my head as I struggled for the words that would make her stop, and just like that, they came to me.

“Because I fucking love you, Tabby!” I called after her, and she did stop. She turned around and took one apprehensive step back toward me.

“You what?” she asked, narrowing her eyes. Was she angry?

“I love you,” I repeated, finding it easier to say now that it was out in the open.

Tabby pulled her lips between her teeth as another tear slipped over her cheek. She shook her head and raked her fingers through her wild red hair. “Sebastian, you need to stop.”

“Stop loving you?” I laughed bitterly. “Trust me, if I could’ve stopped this from happening, I would’ve. I’m not supposed to want one woman for the rest of my life. I’m not supposed to want a fucking picket fence and family dinners and … I don’t know, date night. But here I am, ready to throw everything away and start over, and I want that, Tabby. I want it so fucking badly, and I want it with you, and Greyson, and—”

“I’ll say it again.” Her voice was trembling, and her hands were held out as though bracing herself against my affectionate assault. “You need to stop.”

I was serving my heart to her on a platter, and she was turning it away. Fucking hell. Why did this have to hurt so much? And why the fuck would anybody wish for this, in the way people always seem to?

Fuck love. Fuck this.

“You can’t make me stop,” I told her, shaking my head and wondering how I still had the strength to stand.

“Yes, I can.” She said it as a warning, taking another step forward to press her hand to my chest. Pressing it against my heart, as though with one little push, she could thrust her bones through mine and squeeze the organ that begged to die. She tipped her head back, finding my gaze, and whispered, “When.”

 

***

 

When.

I wasn’t aware a single word could ever have the power to obliterate my heart. Not until that moment. What hurt more than her saying it, was she knew what she was doing when she said it. She knew exactly what it would do to me, and yet she did it anyway. Because Tabitha Clarke was a witch, I was convinced of it then, and I stood there in the parking garage, frozen, as she walked away.

I couldn’t call after her. I couldn’t grab her and force her to witness the combustion of my soul, forcing her to look at what she’d done. I could only slump against the concrete wall, struck down from the impact of one fucking word, until she was gone and out of my sight.

“Jesus Christ,” I finally breathed, pressing a hand over my heart.

How could two women from the same family be so cruel? How was it possible that they’d both have a hand in breaking my heart and tearing it open?

I called a car to take me home, where I waited for Greyson to be dropped off by my sister. Mel brought him to the door and when she saw me, her face fell with somber recollection. I was in more pain than I’d ever felt before in my life, but one look at Greyson’s face told me I’d be okay. It’d take some time, but I knew I’d be fine.

I had my son, and anything beyond that was a bonus.

Still, I knew the reality of what was going to happen, and he needed to understand why I wouldn’t be hanging out with his aunt anytime soon. Things would be weird, they’d be uncomfortable, and he deserved to know.

“Come in here, kid,” I told him, leading him into the dining room where I had laid out dinner. “I grabbed Chinese.”

“You hardly ever get takeout,” Greyson said pointedly, and I chuckled.

“Yeah, I know, but I’m not in the mood to cook.” I sighed, scrubbing my hands over my face as I sat down. “I gotta talk to you about something.”

He took his seat beside me and began spooning rice and lo mein onto his plate. “I already know what you’re going to say, Dad. It’s cool.”

“Oh yeah?” I cocked my head, eyeing him skeptically. “And what am I gonna say, smartass?”

“You’re going to tell me that you and Aunt Tabs are dating.” Greyson shrugged, as he grabbed an eggroll. “It’s fine. It’s not weird or anything.”

Stunned, I dropped my eyes to the empty plate in front of me. “So, uh, you’d be okay with that?”

He scoffed. “Dad, I’ve known you guys were together for a while. I’m not stupid.” Shoveling a forkful of fried rice into his mouth, he added, “Plus, I went to knock on your door at Aunt Tabs’ place like, last month and you didn’t answer. So, I opened the door and—”

I looked up, my eyes widened with shock. “Dude, why would you just walk into my room?”

“Um, I mean, you weren’t in there, so I didn’t—”

“Okay,” I laid my hands down on the table, huffing a sigh, “we’re laying down a rule right now. Unless it’s an emergency—and I mean, house is burning down, someone’s breaking in, you can’t fucking breathe emergency—you and I will never barge into each other’s rooms, got it?”

“Why not? Mom and Aunt Tabs never saw the big deal.”

God, the kid had been raised by women for way too long. “Kid, trust me. I don’t wanna see you,” I jerk-off gestured with my fist, “any more than you wanna see me. So, just … knock first, and if I don’t answer right away, assume shit’s going down.”

“What if something’s wrong and you can’t answer?” he countered, smirking as he picked up his eggroll.

Jesus, he was killing me. “Then … give me a couple of minutes before you come in, just to be sure.”

“What if you stop breathing in that time? Is it really that important for me to never see you jacking off, that you’re willing to risk your life?”

“Greyson,” I groaned, laying my hands over my face and somehow finding my laugh. “God, I don’t think I’ve ever been more sure that you’re my kid than in this moment.”

He snickered, continuing to eat. “Anyway, I don’t care if you’re dating Aunt Tabs, if it makes you guys happy. It’s actually pretty cool, I think.”

His approval felt like a harsh stab between my ribs. “You know, kid … I wish I had known that about two months ago.”

“Why?” he asked, quirking a brow as his chewing slowed.

I nodded. “Uh … well, I don’t think we’ll be seeing each other very much for a while.”

“What happened?”

I could’ve lied to him, I guess, and maybe I should have. Maybe that was the right thing to do, to keep us both looking good in the eyes of Greyson. But I was cursed with the inability to lie, unless I was bullshitting, and I couldn’t bullshit about this.

“One thing you’re gonna learn about me, kid, is that nobody takes me very seriously, and—”

“I take you seriously,” Greyson interrupted, shaking his head and pinching his brows.

I fought myself to smile. “Thanks. I appreciate that, but your aunt Tabby, she, uh …” I shook my head, reconsidering my words, to spare her his wrath. So, I settled on, “I think she and I are just too different, and I needed to fuck up to realize that.”

“How did you fuck up?” He leaned his elbows against the table, watching me intently.

Sighing heavily, I threw my head back. “Jesus, kid …” I shook my head, staring at the ceiling and gripping the back of my neck. “I’m really trying hard to sound neutral here, okay? I don’t know exactly what I did. I know I said some shit to that Roman guy and I’m pretty sure I fucked up the sale of Jane’s house.” The idea that I could singlehandedly screw her out of that deal caused my stomach to curdle, and I uttered, “That fucking son of a bitch …”

“I hated that guy, anyway,” Greyson shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal.

“Yeah, me too,” I agreed, raising my fist and he pounded his knuckles against mine.

“Maybe Jane’s husband made it happen,” he suggested, beginning to eat again.

“Yeah,” I nodded. “Maybe.”

It seemed cruel that Tom would use me as the vessel to get rid of Roman, especially if that meant Tabby would refuse my request to at the very least give this a shot. Still, I couldn’t help but find a bit of solace in knowing that the scum-bucket was out of the picture, and I found it in me to eat.