35

tabby

The whole thing was a mess. My life, my job—everything.

When I got into work, Alex suggested that I give Roman a call. “Maybe he reacted out of anger,” he had offered with more sympathy than I felt I deserved. “Maybe he just needs some time to cool off.”

And now, three days later, I felt he’d had enough time. I would give it one more shot and if it didn’t work out, I’d throw in the towel and hand the house over to Alex.

In truth, I was thinking about doing that anyway, even if I did get Roman back as a client. Emotionally, I wasn’t sure I had it in me to continue with this house any further. I loved Mrs. Worthington, and I loved that house, but it was starting to feel like a bad omen. Just look at everything that had come to pass since I took it on. That couldn’t be a coincidence. Or maybe it is, and life is just cruel.

I hadn’t thought much about Sam in weeks. A little trickle of a thought here and there, but I’d been busy. I’d almost been too sidetracked to notice how fucking horribly I missed her, and God, I wished I could talk to her now. She had more experience with men than anybody I knew, and while I might’ve frowned upon her methods, her advice was unparalleled. She would’ve known what to do, about both Roman and Sebastian.

But I didn’t have her. All I had was my phone and my wits, so I picked them up and utilized them both.

“Roman,” I said in the calmest voice I could muster the moment he answered the phone.

“Tabitha,” he responded coolly. “I thought I instructed you to lose my cell phone number.”

“Yes, you did,” I nodded toward my desk, “but it takes a lot more than that to get me to back down.”

“I see that, and I admire your persistence.”

“Good,” I replied, leaning back in my chair, knowing I had at least hooked him into the conversation. “Now, I understand that you might want to proceed only on a professional basis, which I am completely open to. I—”

“Can I ask you a question, Tabitha? And please. Be honest with me.”

I swallowed around my words and nodded to nobody. “Yes, of course.”

“Were you already sleeping with him when you and I went on our date?”

The harshness in his words slapped me across the face. My lips fell open, struggling for an answer, but all I could settle on was a simple, “Yes.”

“Hm.” I knew him well enough to know he was nodding, maybe pursing his lips. “I never would’ve taken you to be the type of woman to settle for trash, but it wouldn’t be the first time I was attracted to a woman who was … how should I put it? Easy?”

“Excuse me?”

“Hell, if I knew how easy it would’ve been, I should’ve just pursued you the first day we met.”

“Roman,” I kept the control in my voice, despite the shaking of my hands, “you might want to consider what you’re saying before I am forced to terminate all of my dealings with you. Should I remind you that we were only a few signatures away from closing the deal? You said so yourself, you loved Mrs. Worthington’s house. It—”

“And what would you say if I told you I’d already found another house?”

Something between a gasp and a grunt passed through my lips. My hand laid over my eyes. “How did you manage that so fast?”

“Like I said, Tabitha; there would be other agents, and there would be other houses. Now, unless you can make me an offer I won’t be able to refuse—maybe something along the lines of what you’ve been offering to your friend—then I’m going to end this call.”

My eyes flooded with hot tears. I had never in my life felt so used, so belittled and small, and for what? For making a choice to enjoy myself with a man?

With clenched fists, I gripped the edge of my desk, and said, “How’s this for an offer, Roman? Go fuck yourself. Fuck yourself hard. Fuck yourself so hard, your dick snaps off and no woman will ever be subjected again to you or your vile ass.” And with that final word, I hung up, slamming my phone onto my desk as Jess appeared in my doorway.

“Wow. I think you’ve been spending too much time with Thor,” she quipped, biting her lips and unsuccessfully hiding her grin.

“Yeah, well … let’s just say I got a taste of how Sam was treated her entire fucking life,” I muttered, shaking my head and wiping a finger under an eye, catching one rogue tear.

It took me all of ten minutes to realize that Sam was never wrong in choosing to spend her free time with various bed companions. She was just an adult, enjoying herself with another adult, and what the hell was so terrible about that? It didn’t make her immature, it didn’t make her wrong, so who the hell was I to exile her from my list of admired people because of it? She was my fucking sister. She had been unafraid to be herself, she was always loyal to her family, and she had loved her son.

I stood up from my desk and kicked off my heels. Pulling the red Chucks out from the dark space underneath, I stuffed my feet into them and declared, “I’m taking some time off, guys.”

Alex showed his face in the doorway and tipped his head. “How long?”

“I don’t know,” I admitted. It was nice being the boss sometimes—I could say things like that and get away with it. “I’m only a phone call away, though, so if you need me for anything, I’ll answer. I just need to take some time. I haven’t, and … I think I’m ready to do that.”

They both understood, as they nodded solemnly. And I grabbed my bag and left.

***

Before I went home, I stopped by Mrs. Worthington’s house to give her the bad news about Roman.

“Oh, thank Heavens!” She raised her hands to the sky, as she sat on her emptied front porch.

“Um, excuse me?” I shook my head, worrying my bottom lip between my teeth. “I thought you wanted to sell the house.”

Reaching over to clasp my knee beneath her palm, she shook her head enthusiastically. “Oh, honey, what gave you that idea?”

Frustrated, I pressed the heels of my hands to my eyes. “Because we’ve been at this for almost a year, Mrs. Worthington.”

“No, no, Tabitha; I need to sell the house. I don’t want to,” she corrected me. “I would die here, if I could. But I’m afraid I’m going to be around for quite a while, and I don’t think I’d be able to stand the quiet, even with Sandy here.” She ran her hand over the back of the chinchilla.

I nodded, with thoughts of my own empty house weighing heavily on my mind. “I guess I can understand that.”

“Someone will come along,” she assured me. “But I don’t think you’re quite right for the job.”

“I don’t think I’m quite right for any job right now, to be honest with you,” I laughed sadly.

“You’re good at what you do, honey.” Mrs. Worthington squeezed my knee. “I thought surely you’d be able to sell this place, but maybe you’re too close to it. Maybe you want it too much.”

“Yeah.” I nodded. “Maybe that’s what it is. Maybe …” I sighed, shaking my head and looking out toward the fence rounding the perimeter of the yard. “Maybe I’ve finally reached my limit.”

“Everybody needs a break sometimes.” She nodded affirmatively. “Take a trip. Do something you’ve always wanted to do. Let yourself mourn. Buy a chinchilla.” She waved her hands into the air. “Do whatever it is you need to do, and then come back. I think you’ll find you’re a lot better off.”

Take a trip. My lips stretched into a smile, and I nodded. “Yeah, you know … I think I’ll do that.”