42

tabby

 

“Greyson!” I called up the stairs for what felt like the hundredth time. “Let’s go!”

Thrusting a hand into my hair, I groaned and hurried to pull on a pair of ankle boots that hovered somewhere between dressy and casual. Sebastian had been excruciatingly vague when telling me about Christmas at his place. All he said was to come. Not what kind of clothes we were expected to wear, not what we should bring … He just wanted us to be there, which was both sweet and irritating.

Just like him.

Greyson thundered down the stairs with Dweezil at his heels. He was wearing the sweater vest and shirt I insisted he put on and he scowled, despite the jeans and sneakers I told him were fine.

“I feel ridiculous,” he complained, as I reached out to fix his hair. “Come on, Aunt Tabs! I’m fine!”

“This is your first Christmas with your father. Your grandparents, aunts, uncles, and God knows how many cousins will also be there, and you’re going to look nice,” I ordered, smoothing down the tufts that were already brushing the tops of his ears. “Maybe you should get a haircut over winter break.”

“Hell no. I’m growing it out again.” He swatted my hands away and grabbed Dweezil’s leash from off a hook near the door. “Come here, Dweezy,” he commanded, and the dog listened obediently.

“Okay, you go get Dweezil into the—”

I was interrupted by a knock on the door. Curiously, I answered, swinging it open to reveal a man in a chauffeur’s hat. I narrowed my eyes, glancing between the driver and Greyson, before asking, “Um, can I help you?”

“Miss Tabitha Clarke?” I nodded my reply and he smiled kindly. “Merry Christmas, ma’am. I’m here to drive you and Greyson to Mr. Moore’s residence.”

Flabbergasted, I stared at him for one, two seconds. Blinking and stunned. “Uh, th-thank you very much, but I think I can—”

“Mr. Moore gave me very specific instructions to not let you talk me out of taking you to his home,” the driver interrupted apologetically, turning down the corners of his mouth. “I’m sorry.”

“Oh, he did, huh?” I grumbled, crossing my arms and shaking my head.

Greyson shrugged and grabbed his coat, leading Dweezil past the driver and to the sleek black car parked in the driveway. I was tempted to refuse, to call Sebastian and tell him he had absolutely no right to demand I do anything against my will.

“Mr. Moore told me you might be a little hesitant, so he wanted me to tell you that, um …” The driver pursed his lips and inhaled deeply. “That you should just get your gorgeous ass in the car and trust him.” Then he winced and added, “His words, not mine.”

“Yeah, I bet they are,” I muttered begrudgingly. But still, I was unable to fight the smile pulling at my lips.

 

***

 

“We’re just about there,” Ted, the driver, announced.

Huh? Sebastian’s house was roughly a few hours away from mine. I knew I had spaced out a bit, scrolling through my phone and chatting idly with Greyson, but could I have really lost entire hours of my life in what only felt like twenty minutes?

I glanced out the window to find that we weren’t far from home. In fact, we were just off of Hog Hill’s tiny main street, driving through the wealthier side of town. A realization crept over me, but acceptance wasn’t yet catching up with reality. I laid a hand over my mouth as the car came to a stop outside of the house.

“All right, here we are,” Ted said with a smile. “I’ll just grab your bags from the back and carry them in.”

“Grey,” I managed to say through my clenched throat as I stared out the window.

“Yeah?” He turned to me, his lips upturned in a mischievous smile.

“Did you know about this?”

He shrugged smugly. “Maybe.” He didn’t wait for my reply as he got out of the car, leading Dweezil up the walkway to the familiar porch.

I was hesitating, my hand resting on the door handle. I was too stunned, too shocked to react with anything but a blank stare toward the house I thought I’d never step foot in again. Not after Alex had sold it, and …

“Oh God,” I uttered, shaking my head. “Fucking Alex.”

He had known, and I didn’t know if I should go straight to his house and kiss him, or beat him senseless for allowing me to believe it was completely gone.

With the packages under his arm and green bean casserole in his hands, Ted knocked on the window, breaking me out of my shock-induced paralysis. I pushed the door open and he asked, “Are you ready, ma’am?”

I wanted to tell him that there was no way I was ever going to be ready to face the grandest of gestures, but I knew I also couldn’t sit in that car forever. So, I nodded and put on a brave smile, hoping I could keep it in place.

 

***

 

“Tabby!” Ronnie, Sebastian’s mother, called the moment I stepped into the foyer. “Merry Christmas, honey. Can I take your coat?”

“Uh, y-yeah, sure,” I said, flashing her a weak smile.

I slid my arms from the sleeves and allowed her to hurry off as I surveyed the room. God, it looked the same, but of course it did. It hadn’t been that long since I was last here, and yet, it felt like forever. Mrs. Worthington’s belongings were gone, replaced with things from Sebastian’s old house hours away.

When the fuck did he have the time to move? He hadn’t been home. He’d been on tour. When did he manage to accomplish all of this? How did I never catch on?

The questions were abundant, and they dizzied my mind as I tightened my arms around myself, strolling into the living room to greet Sebastian’s brothers-in-law with hugs and forced smiles.

“Hey, Tabby, good to see you again,” they each seemed to say, and to each I replied, “Yeah, you too. Merry Christmas.” It was all I could manage, when the place was already starting to lose the floral smell of Mrs. Worthington, adopting the scents of leather, sandalwood, and man.

Sebastian’s dad, John, stopped me on the way to the kitchen. “Merry Christmas, young lady,” he greeted me with a one-armed hug, a beer occupying his other hand. “How do you like Bastian’s new digs?”

I chuckled awkwardly, raising my eyes to the vaulted ceilings. “Uh, well, it’s, um …” An emotional blockade jammed my words, and I swallowed. “It’s very surprising.”

He nodded in agreement. “We were a little shocked ourselves, when he told us he was selling the house. He’s had that place since … God, since he started making money, I guess. Bought it for a song back then. But he put in an offer on this old girl months ago.”

“Months ago?” I cocked an eyebrow and eyed him suspiciously.

“Yeah. I think it was back in August? He hired my sons-in-law to move his stuff over when the sale was finalized at the end of September.”

September? On Thanksgiving, Alex had told me the sale would be finalized in a week.

He’d been working on this plan for months, since our fight. Since I ended things. “Why?” I asked aloud. “Why would he do this?”

“Uh, well, he said he wanted to be closer to Greyson, and—”

“Dad! What the hell!” Sebastian interrupted, wrapping an arm around his dad’s shoulders. “You’re not supposed to give away all of the secrets! Jesus Christ …” He turned to me, rolling his eyes and shaking his head. “I swear, I can’t take this old man anywhere.”

At the sight of him, I immediately thought I might cry. My bottom lip began to lose control, quivering and quaking despite my resolve to remain calm.

“C-can we talk?” I whispered, my voice hoarse.

“Oh, yeah, sure,” Sebastian replied casually, as if he hadn’t just knocked me dead with the most elaborate scheme to win me over. “You gotta come to the kitchen, though. I can’t leave all that shit for too long, unless you wanna eat some burnt-ass ham and over-boiled potatoes.”

I followed him through the swinging kitchen door, only to find his sisters crowded around the table. They turned to me, then immediately looked to each other with wide-eyed stares and excited grins. Mel was the first to open her mouth to speak, when Sebastian reached between them to smack his hand on the table.

“Hey! You three. Get the fuck out of here right now.”

“Oh, that’s really the nicest way you could’ve asked?” Dinah groaned, shooting him with an angry side-eye.

“Get the fuck out of here right now, please?” he corrected, narrowing his glare at his older sisters.

“I thought you wanted us to help you get dinner ready,” Mel threw in, teasing with a pinch of her lips and a jump of her brows. “Remember? You distinctly said for us to get in here and—”

“Yeah, well, that was before I was about to …” He nudged his head toward me, and I huffed a sigh. “You know. So, for fuck’s sake, get out.”

Jen turned to me, with exhaustion hooding her eyelids. “Tabby, please, we’re begging you. Take him back. He’s been driving us all insane.”

“Go!” Sebastian growled, nudging them toward the door. They obeyed with begrudged grumbles and teasing jabs, and then, we were alone. He turned to me, smiling sweetly. “There. Now, what were you going to say?”

“You, uh … y-you bought Mrs. Worthington’s house,” I stammered, suddenly shy and unable to find the right words to express just how I was feeling.

“Yep.” He nodded astutely, walking with purpose to the stove. Lifting a lid off a large pot, he took a peek inside and held out his hand. “Hey, you wanna grab me that wooden spoon from the counter over there?”

“Uh, sure.” I immediately found the one he was asking for and passed it into his waiting palm.

“Thank you,” he replied, and stirred. “How do you like your mashed potatoes, by the way? You like them creamy or lumpy?”

“L-lumpy.”

Glancing at me, his lips curled into a small smile. “Me too.”

I stood beside him, picking at my fingernails, while every question I wanted to ask jumped up my throat and fizzled out on my tongue. For the first time ever, I was rendered speechless and absolutely dumbfounded in his presence. I watched with a knotted gut as he stirred the potatoes, then sprinkled a pinch of salt into the water before closing the pot again. With every wasted, awkward moment that passed, I imagined the conversation we could’ve been having, mentally kicking myself for being too much of a coward to just ask why.

Then, when the spoon was placed beside the stove, I found my courage.

“W—”

“Did you know this house is seriously haunted?” He turned against the counter, leaning against the granite with an amused smirk tugging at his lips. “Like, okay. Last night, I was finally done cleaning and wrapping presents, right? And while I was heading up the stairs to go to bed, I swear on my right hand, I felt like I was being watched. I even turned around to make sure someone wasn’t following me. And I was like, whoa, calm the fuck down, because I was the only one here, obviously. Anyway, I finally get upstairs, piss, go to bed, and as I’m falling asleep, I swear to you, I felt someone sit at the edge of the bed.”

A chill dodged through me and the hairs on my arms stood on end. “Get the hell out.”

Holding up his hands, palms out, he said, “I swear. Weirdest shit that’s ever happened to me. But what was even weirder was that, I wasn’t even freaked out. Like, you hear something like that and you think you’d be scared out of your fucking mind, right?”

His eyes sought mine, widened with expectation, and I nodded. “Uh, yes.”

“Right, but you know, I really wasn’t. I was so … cool with it, and you know what I did?”

“Got the hell out of there?” I laughed, aware of the tension releasing from my fingers down to my toes.

“Not even. All I did was say, ‘Night, Tom.’ Without even thinking. I just blurted it out, rolled over, and went the hell to sleep.” He spread his arms out and eyed me with a startled look that made me giggle. “I mean, what the fuck? I’m whispering to ghosts now or something? I told Jane to take her hubby with her when she left, but I guess he failed to get the memo.”

“I guess you have a roommate then, huh?” I bit my bottom lip while the nerves twisted again around my stomach.

“Not the one I want, but I guess so,” Sebastian shrugged, crossing his arms. “I guess it’s good that there’s nothing malevolent about him—right, T?” He raised his eyes to the ceiling, and when, expectedly, his question went unanswered, his brows dropped and his eyes narrowed. “Well, we’re clearly not on speaking terms yet, but we’ll get there.”

Finally, with enough courage to spare, I asked, “When did you make an offer?”

Cocking his head, he pursed his lips with thought as though he were doing the math. “Uh, pretty much right after Roman pulled out of the deal.”

“But how? I don’t understand how you did all of this without me ever finding out.”

He lifted his mouth into a lopsided smile. “It was all done over the phone, Tabby. Alex hooked me up. Greyson and I spent August packing my house, and pretty much as soon as I left, my sisters’ husbands moved my shit over. You didn’t have any reason to come by this part of town, since Jane was already living with her niece, so when would you have ever found out?”

A shroud was lifted from my eyes, allowing the light of realization in. “You’ve been living in this house for—”

“A couple of weeks,” he finished with a smug grin. “And you had absolutely no idea. I fucking played your ass.”

The room felt small and hot. Too tight and stifled to breathe. I moved to sit down at the small breakfast table he once had in his old kitchen.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Eh,” he shrugged casually, “why would I do that and blow the most amazing Christmas present ever?”

I couldn’t wrap my head around it. He’d had a life in his old house, with his family only a short distance away. It was lost on me why he’d give all of that up, to live in this tiny, nowhere town. I know what he said he felt for me, but that was months ago. That was when I turned him down and told him to put a stop to whatever it was he thought he felt, after we’d only slept together a handful of times. Hadn’t enough time now passed for him to put it all behind him?

Have I put it behind me?

“Don’t make a big deal out of it, Tabby,” he stated in an even tone.

Whipping my head to stare at him incredulously, I nearly shouted, “How can I not?”

“Uh, by just accepting it for what it is?”

“And what is it, Sebastian? Because for months, you’ve been telling me it isn’t anything, but this feels a lot like something,” I snapped, gritting my teeth and hoping I could make it through the rest of this discussion without breaking down.

“Yeah, you know, you’re right about that,” he agreed with a nod. “I never should’ve told you that, because I’m pretty sure I knew from the beginning that this was more than just us fucking around.”

A tremored breath rasped through my throat as I asked, “How did you know that?”

With a one-shouldered shrug, he chuckled. “Because I’ve slept with only one woman multiple times in my life, and that’s you.”

“That is … so oddly romantic,” I grumbled, tipping my head back to look at the ceiling as Sebastian turned to stir the potatoes again. “I don’t—"

He sighed heavily. “Look, Tabby,” he stopped me with my name, and I closed my mouth. “I know you wanna continue this conversation, okay, and we will. We have to, I get it, but let’s just get through today first, okay? Can we do that?”

I dropped my gaze to the tiled floor. “Why can’t we talk now?”

“Because I need a chance,” he blurted as though the line had been rehearsed. I raised my eyes back to his and found them pleading with me. “I just want to show you that I can give you everything you want, okay? That’s all.”

Without another word, I conceded with a single nod, and set out to help him in the kitchen. We finished the cooking together, laughing and sharing flirty comments and gentle touches on the arm or hip. A number of times, within the span of only a few minutes, I almost kissed him, or maybe it was Sebastian who almost kissed me, but neither of us took the chance. Not yet, but I knew it was coming.

Because, what I never told him, was that I already knew he could give me everything I wanted.

He already had.