Chapter 23
Cass
His jaw is clenched tight and his eyes are narrowed dangerously on both of us. “I asked what the hell is going on here?”
I don’t know what he thinks is going on, but the whole situation is quite absurd. A weird giggle escapes from my mouth, but Lars doesn’t think it’s funny at all. He glowers at me.
“I’m just teaching Thunder not be nervous around men,” I explain.
“Oh, you are? And does that involve holding hands and being right on top of one another?”
My jaw drops open. “What’s your problem? You hired Butch to hang around me, and now you’re here acting as if we’ve done something wrong.”
He strides in our direction, his whole body strung tight like an animal about to pounce. “Leave,” he says firmly to Butch.
Butch doesn’t hesitate to do as he is told, but he looks back and meets my eyes to ask if I’ll be okay with Lars. Brave of him. I smile slightly at him, and he hotfoots it away faster than I can blink.
Lars takes another step toward me and Thunder suddenly goes crazy from his proximity to us. I try to pacify him, but it is no use. He can’t handle being this close to another man, especially one who is as angry as Lars. He’s probably picked up my angry vibes too.
“Back off, Lars,” I say, trying to block his body from Thunder’s view.
Of course, it doesn’t work, for he is much taller and broader than me. The lead rope attached to the fence is doing its job and keeping him from bolting, but I begin to worry about him hurting himself in his attempts to get away from Lars.
“Lars, back the hell up, please,” I shout at him.
Lars leaves my side and Thunder begins to calm down.
“Tamara,” he calls, but I’m so furious with him I don’t even bother to turn my head. He has been unbearable ever since my arrival. I know I provoked him at the beginning, but I’ve stopped that now and he still insists on being nasty at every opportunity. I continue stroking Thunder as tears prickle the back of my eyes. It’s just anger, I tell myself. It’s anger, but I’m hurt too. No matter what I do, it’s always wrong.
“Can you turn around and look at me please?” he asks.
“You are the most immature, despicable human being I have ever met,” I say in a choked voice. “You don’t treat people with respect, or maybe you do, but never me. You treated Butch like shit and all he was doing was the job you assigned to him. I don’t know where you go during the day, or why you can’t be here, but it’s irrelevant at this point.” I sniff and wipe my eyes roughly with the back of my sleeves. “And don’t for one instant think I’m crying because of you. I’m not sad or emotional. I’m just done with this bullshit.”
I hear Lars draw a deep breath and take a step in my direction. I twist around to face him and hold out a hand. “I think you’ve done enough damage here.”
For a brief second, so quickly it feels as if I’ve imagined it, something that looks like hurt flashes in his eyes. Then it’s gone. “I’m sorry I made you cry. I swear it wasn’t intentional. I’ll teach you to ride Thunder if that’s what you want.” He sounds utterly defeated.
His tone breaks my heart and instantly, I forget my own anger and hurt and just want to comfort him. Unable to look away from him, I take an instinctive step forward.
“Once I do that, you don’t have to see me again,” he says bitterly.
My outstretched hand flies to my burning chest. I was just about to embarrass myself. I should keep away from this guy. “I think I can learn to ride Thunder on my own. You won’t be able to come near him, anyway,” I say sadly. The sooner I accept this man is not for me, the better.
“At least let me stay and make sure you’re okay. I can’t have you getting hurt,” Lars says, taking another step back. “You won’t even know I’m here.” His beautiful eyes drop to the ground, then rise again to meet mine a moment later, dimmer than before. He takes off his hat and holds it in front of him. A shock of silky dark hair falls on his forehead. My fingers itch to sweep it back.
But I blew my chances with him the same way he blew his with me. I’m ashamed of the way I’ve been acting, but I had to act like that. I know he was only responding to my rudeness, because I can see the heart hidden beneath his harsh exterior and insufferable arrogance. He’s a great man—even if he hasn’t acted like one toward me. I wish things could have been different. Maybe—just maybe—we could have worked something out. But now it’s too late.
“All right,” I say.
He nods and, turning around, walks away.