I come awake, but don’t open my eyes right away. If I do and find out I’m alone, it would all have been a dream. Some part of me believes what happened earlier doesn’t really happen in real life. No one is that lucky. That kind of intensity is just in the movies, or in the pages of romance novels.

Call me cynical, but show business gives you a front row view of the ugly underbelly of human interactions. Just one layer beneath the shiny façade of the air-brushed, impossibly beautiful celebrity are bloody fangs and talons. I’m not a kid anymore. I’ve been around the block enough times to know there are no magical happy endings. Everybody is out for themselves. They can pretend to be your friend, but put them in a position of them or you and you soon see you have no friends. Cole is no friend of mine.

Yet, it must have happened, because my body’s sore in that old ‘I just had sex with big ole Cole’ kind of way. The sort of sore that’s nothing to do with hours of getting my butt kicked by my personal trainer. A delicious sore, the sort of sore I could do with every day of my life.

Judging from the sound of soft, rhythmic breathing behind me and warmth radiating from his body onto my naked skin, he’s still here with me too.

I guess I always knew if I came back that I would sleep with him. I just thought I would have been able to resist him a bit longer. Not tumble like a house of cards at the first shot.

I blame his eyes. Ugh, those eyes. Gold-flecked hazel, familiar, beautiful, and completely hypnotic. One look into them and I actually felt years of resolve melt away. I’ve never seen eyes like his on anybody else. And those eyes looked into mine when our bodies melded, when he was on me, and in me. Making me whisper his name.

Cole. Oh, Cole.

Again and again. As if it was some kind of holy chant.

That was a moment of weakness, but now that the passion has passed there is nothing left. Nothing other than lost lust. I can’t forgive him for the past, hell I don’t want to. If there’s one thing I know, it’s that. I won’t be anybody’s doormat no matter how much I crave their body.

I suddenly remember the smell of the alcohol on his breath. God, was he even sober when he showed up at the house? My mind engages with that thought and I spiral into self-doubt. Oh, my God! Did I just let Cole Finlay use me to slake his lust? Then another voice, wiser, cuts in. No way was he drunk. A drunk man couldn’t perform the way he did.

He was stone cold sober.

I open my eyes, and it is dark outside. Moonlight spills in through the windows. I squint at the clock on the wall. It is nearly ten, which means I’ve been asleep for hours. I must have been more tired than I thought.

What do I do now?

My insides tighten with a mixture of anxiety and excitement. The smart thing would be to slip out quietly and go straight to the hotel. Never see him again. Having an awkward post-mortem with Cole would be too much to deal with in my vulnerable state of mind. It would make everything I felt earlier seem … like a mistake. It was not a mistake. I’m not ashamed of my desire. I wanted him and I let myself take what I wanted.

Now it is time to be strong, and walk away.

The thought of leaving like a thief in the night fills my being with an old sadness. My heart starts aching for him. No matter how much I pretend to myself, the truth is always there, glaring at me.

That I have never found any man, no matter how good-looking or rich, who can hold a candle to Cole. I cannot replace him because he remains the only one I let into my heart and who then proceeded to break it. They say the first cut is the deepest and it’s true. He was my first love, the man I trusted, adored, and would have done anything for.

Not wanting to wake him up, I turn very slowly to look at him, and freeze.

His eyes are open, alert, and watching.

The sight makes my mind go utterly blank. Crap, crap, double crap. Needing to say something, anything, I open my mouth. Before I can articulate a single sound he lays a finger on my lips.

“Don’t.”

I stare at him wordlessly. Those hypnotic eyes suck me in, robbing me of speech, thought. His arms slide around me, pulling me to him. Oh, God, it feels so good—not just physically. My heart feels good. My soul. Something slips into place with an almost audible Click! when our bodies touch, his front to my back.

“Since you’re booked to stay for two days at the hotel,” he murmurs in my ear.

My mouth forms the word ‘how’.

He looks amused. “Have you forgotten, Taylor? This isn’t LA. Everyone knows everyone’s business. As I was saying, since you’re down here anyway, unless you plan to get very bored, you should spend the next two days with me.”

I frown. This, I did not expect. Does he expect us to just carry on where we left off before? “Are you crazy? I can’t forget, or forgive what you did, Cole.”

His jaw hardens. “Don’t forgive or forget if you find it impossible, but you owe me these two days, Taylor.”

I feel a surge of fury run through my body. “Owe you?” I explode. “After what you did? How dare you?”

I try to jump out of the bed, but he grabs my shoulders and holds me tight. His expression doesn’t change. “I dare, because it is the truth. Just because I did one thing wrong, one mistake, it doesn’t cancel out everything else. Who took care of you for all those years? I put you before me. Every fucking time.”

The anger leaves me as suddenly as it came. Cole is not lying. I do owe him. Big time. He protected and looked out for me. I don’t even know how I would have survived my childhood without him. I take a deep shuddering breath. “You hurt me, Cole.”

A cloud passes his face. “I know and I’m very sorry. I wish it hadn’t happened that way, but it did, and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it now. Perhaps I never will be able to take away that hurt, but I damn well want to try to make it up to you.”

“I can’t trust you, Cole. When I really needed you, you let me down.”

“I’m not asking for your trust. I just want to spend two days with you.”

“What happens after the two days?”

“If you don’t want anything more, then nothing. You can go back to LA and resume your life. I won’t stop you.”

I hesitate. “I don’t know, Cole. Sometimes it is best to let sleeping dogs lie. Like you said we have both changed.”

“Exactly. Isn’t it time we put the past behind us? We were kids then, Taylor. Two kids who didn’t know better. We’re adults now, and lots of things have changed, but one thing hasn’t: we’re both crazy about each other’s bodies. Why can’t we just have two days of mindless sex, then part as friends?”

I bite my lip and consider his words. God, his offer is so tempting. I was only half alive without him. All these years I could never stop thinking of what might have been, never stop being angry with him for forcing me to break our relationship.

I can’t go through the rest of my life hating him for something that happened so many years ago. We’re both mature now and it is very likely we’ll find that we are strangers who cannot get on anymore. Maybe these feelings I have for him have no basis in reality. All those warm memories are just a mirage. Yes, maybe it is a good idea. Then, I can leave this town and the past behind.

“You have nothing to lose,” he says persuasively.

“So this will just be a physical thing.”

“It’ll be whatever you want it to be.”

“I want it to be purely physical,” I confirm quickly, even though my heart hurts a little when I say it. It is not at all what I want it to be.

“So be it. We will spend the next two days together then you will return to your life in LA.”

“And you will return to yours.”

“I will return to mine,” he echoes softly, and bending his head, takes my nipple in his mouth. Instantly, my body arches up towards him.