Minutes later I’m in the back seat of the rented car with the driver taking me back to the hotel. I waited all of thirty seconds after Victoria left before calling him to get me. I grabbed my bag and ran out the second the car arrived.

How could I have been so stupid?

I close my eyes to avoid looking at anything, any part of the town, or any of the people in it. It’s all in the distant past. None of it matters anymore, if it ever did in the first place. I’m a bigger, better person now. I should’ve known better than to let myself get sucked back in the way I did. What a mistake. What a terrible, awful, stupid mistake.

And him! He’s the greatest disappointment of my life.

No, I can’t think about him right now. I need to get through the car ride. Then I need to get through the hotel. I’ll be there only as long as it’ll take to schedule a flight out of town. Because I need to get out of here. I need to get back home. Once I’m home, I’ll let go. I’ll cry my heart out then.

This isn’t home. This is hell.

I rest my head against the seat and cover my face with my hands. How? How did I leave myself open to getting hurt like this? I’m supposed to be a smart person. For God’s sake, I was just thinking earlier about how I’d promised myself that I wouldn’t let a man dictate my life or make decisions for me. There I was, before Victoria showed up with her news, telling myself it would be okay to let Cole back into my life. To think I was so happy this morning when he told me he wasn’t going to leave for good. He wanted us to be together. What a sucker I am.

I fight back the bile that rises in my throat. It’s a good thing I never ate, or else I would lose it right now, all over the back seat of the car. Oh, it hurts. It hurts so much. My whole body is wracked with pain, actual pain, something physical that feels like it’s tearing me apart.

I can’t stop thinking about him, even though I’ve told myself not to. I keep seeing his eyes. His smile. I hear his voice and feel the pressure of his fingers on my cheek when he asks if I don’t know him well enough by now to know he wouldn’t sneak out on me. Damn me for believing him. Either he’s the world’s greatest actor, or I’m the most naïve fool on earth. He was believable, right down to the way his voice trembled a little when he said he didn’t want us ever to be apart again. The only explanation I can come up with is he believed himself. Just like he ran out on me, he must have planned to run out on her.

A tear slides down my cheek, and I brush it away distractedly. I don’t deserve the relief of tears. How stupid do you have to be to fall for the same shit all over again? Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.

“You’re such an idiot,” I whisper, turning my head to look out the window and gauge how far we are from the hotel. Only a couple of minutes more. We’re already just around our exit. I’m so glad I decided to take a room so far outside of town. I don’t have to run the risk of bumping into him before I go.

“Here we are.” The driver pulls up out front of the ivy covered entrance. I shove what’s fallen out of my half-open bag back inside before getting out. I look down at my clothes and smooth them down. There will be people at the hotel. It’s bad enough I look like I just rolled out of bed since I couldn’t waste a minute and take the chance of running into him. I still have to consider my image. Actually, it is all I have left.

I hurry through the lobby and fish through my bag for the key to my room. Thank God I took it with me and didn’t leave it with reception. The last thing I want is to talk to anyone.

I nod at the receptionist, who looks at me with bright eyes, and quickly walk up the carpeted stairs. I open the door and lean against it. The suite looks strange, yet familiar. I should’ve stayed here. No, even better. I should’ve left after the funeral. I should’ve gone straight back. Why on earth did I stay? Why? Why? Why did I allow him back into my heart?

I could so easily have avoided all this.

I dial up my assistant. “Yeah, it’s me.” I drop my carry-on and go to the closet where the rest of my clothes are stored. I pull out my suitcase and get to work throwing everything inside. “I need you to book me the first flight out of here. I don’t care when it is. Just get me a flight.”

“What’s the matter?” Her voice sounds anxious. I guess I’d be anxious, too, if my normally level-headed boss lost her mind all of a sudden.

“Nothing. Nothing major, anyway. I just need to get out of here. I’ve stayed too long. It wasn’t a good idea.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” I hear tapping in the background and assume it means she’s on her laptop. I check the time. It’s barely nine in the morning, which means it’s even earlier for her. I know lots of people in my position who don’t give a damn either way. They’ll wake up their team at any time, day or night, for the slightest things. On a whim, sometimes. And they never apologize. They don’t even think about giving a bonus, or something for the extra work. Me, on the other hand? I’m already planning a way to say thank you that is worth more than words.

“Okay,” she says. “I can get you out on United in two hours. Is that enough time?”

“More than enough,” I say, zipping up my suitcase. “Thank you for going out of your way this morning, Rachael. I really appreciate it.”

“Don’t sweat it. What about security?”

“I won’t need it. I’m travelling incognito. No one will recognize me.”

“Are you sure?”

“It’s a small airport and I’ll be fine,” I reassure.

“Do you want me to meet you at the airport over at this end?”

“No, I don’t think so. I’ll just go straight home. I could use the rest of the day to myself, but come by tomorrow.”

“Will do. The confirmation email and ticket should come through in a minute or two. Have a good flight.”