Derrick

Dipping my head down, I pretend I have something in my eyes. Guess it’s not pretending, but tears are tough for me. You don’t cry where I came from. Fame has made me soft. Nah, I think it’s just made me grateful. The guys are laughing, though, and I may be wrong but when I look at my best man, Kaz seems a little choked up himself. “You sad I beat you to the altar?” I make a lame joke.

He gets it, but being Kaz, he sees through the act and pats me on the back. “It’s only fair. This has been a long time coming.”

It’s been eight years since I saw the girl that would become my wife.

Three of the best and worst years of my life spent together. She was the only saving grace I had. The only reason I fought to stay alive.

Five years since I looked backed. Even in that time, I knew I’d made the biggest mistake of my life. I can try to not blame my eighteen-year-old self, but I knew I was wrong and living in regret for years makes this moment so much sweeter.

The music starts—some cheesy, but traditional wedding march and everyone stands. The wooden doors to the garden open and there is the reason I’m standing here today. I will be the man she deserves. My angel floats to me in white, her dark hair flowing around her shoulders. Ace holding one hand and her mom holding the other. Her support. I hope I can bear the burdens she carries from now on. She blinks and then tilts her head down, her emotions getting the best of her. Tears escape the barrier of my lids and damn my male ego as they slip down my cheeks.

Her eyes go wide when she sees Leah standing near the altar, her friend and a confidante that I thanked for taking care of Jaymes and Ace in my absence when I called.

When her mom gifts me Jaymes’s hand, I kiss both of them on the cheek before turning fully to Jaymes, my beauty. And then vows are exchanged.

“. . . The one who will stand by your side, the one who will stay this time. I vow to be the man your son will look up to, not in height, but in character.”

Ace is standing beside his mother because he wanted to be a part of this union, just where he belongs. I fist-bump him before turning back to the woman who has brought tears to my eyes. “I stand before you, my sweet Jaymes, and promise you my love in this life and beyond because you are the only woman my soul knows how to love, to breathe, to protect, and to cherish. I vow my life, trust, honesty, and love to you evermore.” I slide a diamond-encrusted platinum band onto her delicate finger. I love when I take her breath away. Leaning down, I whisper, “We’ll get you any diamond you want, but I thought I’d start with the band today.”

“It’s perfect. More than I could ever wish for.”

My muse for music, for life, for laughter, for love speaks of hardship and sacrifice—two things she knows more about than she should.

She hasn’t had weeks to think these up. They are in and from her heart. Fucking lucky man. “ . . . You are not just the man I love with my entire being, you are the only man worthy of being a father to my son. There is no one else I’d rather him model himself after than the person you have become, the person I always knew you to be. So with this ring, I thee wed for this lifetime and every life after.”

A sleek black and silver band is pressed onto my finger and I smile, admiring the way it looks and feels. I don’t wear any rings now, but I’m never fucking taking this one off. I couldn’t have picked a more me ring than the one she chose.

I’m kind of proud of myself for holding it together as well as I have. I’ve avoided looking at my mom though. She’ll make me cry. In a lot of ways, today is her day as much as mine. When I’m told to kiss my wife, I don’t waste the opportunity. In front of friends and family and friends who are family, I kiss my wife like we’re the only ones in the world. I kiss her until she’s breathless, and then I kiss her again so she remembers it when we’re apart.

But to my surprise, she doesn’t hold back. She doesn’t even worry that we’re in front of the band, the moms, her friend, or even Ace. She gives me a kiss like I’m the last man alive and her life depends on it. Damn my wife’s hot.

She drags that bottom lip under her teeth and then cocks an eyebrow. “Promise me you’ll always kiss me like that.”

“I always keep my promises.”

“That you do.” And we kiss again just because we can.

---

A small ballroom has been set with a long table full of flowers. China settings and crystal glasses fill it nicely. We only have time for a luncheon today. The tour can’t wait. Twenty thousand tickets sold out in Denver in fifteen minutes. I have a feeling they’d be happy for me, but not to the point of letting me bail a night or two to celebrate my nuptials.

I watch Jaymes. The smile is there for others, but I can see the sadness underneath. She can barely eat and isn’t really drinking. I know what she’s thinking, what she feels deep down inside. I feel it too. “I don’t want to leave you,” I whisper while everyone at the table celebrates around us.

Our hands clasp between us and she angles her body toward me, our knees touching. “You’ve made me weak.”

“You’re the strongest person I know.”

“I only had one to lose before. Now I have two and my heart hurts.”

“You’re not losing me. Three weeks. You can come to any show, any city. You can be with me.”

“I can’t,” she says and I hear the tremble in her voice. “I have work and school—”

“Don’t work anymore. Just go to school.”

“I have Ace and he has school.”

“You can fly out next weekend. To . . . ummm . . . to. Oh, fuck it. I have no idea. Tommy, where are we next weekend?”

We both look down the table at him and wait while he scrolls his phone. I cover her hand and thigh with my hand, hoping I can comfort her in some way. It’s not going to be easy to leave her, especially knowing that maniac is in the same city, but at least he’s locked away. For now.

Rochelle leans across the table and says, “Chicago.”

Tommy gripes and puts his phone away.

I ask Jaymes, “Want to go to Chicago?”

Ace tells her, “I want to go to Chicago,” but turns to Rochelle to ask, “What’s Chicago?”

Rochelle laughs. “It’s a city in Illinois, but you know, I’ve been wanting to take Neil and CJ to Disneyland. It’s been a while since we’ve gone. I was thinking you might want to join us and stay the weekend at our house.”

His expression is thoughtful when he turns to me, and asks, “What would you choose? Disneyland or Chicago?”

“Dude, Disney hands down.”

To Rochelle, he says, “Disney!”

Dex leans over and says, “Make sure she takes you on the Peter Pan ride. It’s my favorite.”

“Disney! Disney!”

“Ace. Shhhh. Keep it down, buddy.”

“How can I keep it down? I’ve always wanted to go to Disney.”

CJ starts in too. “Disney!”

Neil rolls his eyes. “Kids.”

The table erupts in laughter and my sweet bride is finally smiling again. “So Chicago?”

“Yes. Chicago.”

My flight’s at four, so while the cake is being served, I excuse my wife and myself with the lamest reason ever, but it’s now or never. “We forgot we haven’t packed. So we’re going to go do that. Pack. For our flights.”

Everyone is staring at me, including Jaymes, but she’s the best, so she says, “Stuff everywhere. Yes, we must go pack. We’ll see you guys in a little while.”

It’s when the moms burst out laughing that we turn and hightail out. Her dress is beaded and tight through the body and does this fluffing out thing at the bottom. She said mermaid. Again, I have no idea what she’s talking about, but I want it the fuck off her. “Can I rip these tiny buttons off in the back?”

“No!”

My back hits the elevator and my hands go up in surrender. “Okay.”

She takes a deep breath and says, “You don’t even want to know how much this dress cost, so there will be no ripping of buttons or anything else off it.”

Back in the suite and ten minutes later, the tips of my fingers are killing me and I’m a fucking guitarist. “What are these little torture devices and why’d you pick a dress with a hundred of them?”

“They’re pearl buttons and I fell in love with the dress. Don’t you love it?”

I see the telltale signs of a setup as soon as she asks the question. Her bottom lip even looks a little pouty. “You look gorgeous in that dress. I just wanted it off for comparison.”

“Really?”

“No, Jaymes. I want to fucking consummate our nuptials before I have to fly out of here and not see you for the next five days.”

“Your sarcasm is not warranted—”

“I know and it’s duly noted, but please, baby. I’m begging you. We have thirty minutes until I have to leave for the airport.”

“I kinda like you begging. And trust me, I want this as much as you do. That’s why I packed our suitcases earlier. I’m all yours for the next twenty-eight minutes. I’ll leave two minutes for you to catch your car ride downstairs.”

“Unzip me please.”

My patience is gone. If she wasn’t so damn sexy standing there, shit, who am I kidding? “What do you mean unzip you? I just undid all those little fuckers to get you out of this dress and now you’re telling me there’s a zipper?”

“Well, you looked so determined and eager to figure them out that I didn’t want to ruin the illusion.”

“Show me the zipper.”

She lifts her arm and I find the metal bastard and pull it down with lightning speed. Smart enough not to mess with a horny husband, she steps out of the dress and stands there for me like she just walked off a Victoria’s Secret runway show. “Holy fuck. How’d I get so lucky?”

And there’s that pale pink blush I ordered the flowers to match. Gorgeous.

She taps my watch. “Twenty-five minutes. Time’s a ticking.”

Over my shoulder in a flash, she squeals in delight and whacks my ass. When I toss her on the bed, I have my breath stolen right from my lungs. Whoosh and it was gone from the very sight of her.

The laughter stops and she stretches her arms above her head. “What is it?”

My mouth opens, needing air. Her beauty astounds me, but it’s a life of memories from the past that I see before me. My mind flashing between her lying in bed wearing white lace on our wedding day and back to her in white cotton underwear the first time I stole them and her virginity.

“Derrick?”

Twenty-two minutes and I’d happily spend them looking at her. I start on my shirt, not rushing, just watching her. A soft smile slips into place and I recognize that one—she’s happy. She’s in love. She’s happy in love with me.

Twenty minutes. I lie down and bring her atop me. When she bends down, she kisses me.

Eighteen minutes. I take down one of her straps and then the other. “You look incredible, but we’re running out of time.”

She slips it off and rolls a condom down the length of my cock.

Sixteen minutes. I was wrong. I thought I could watch her lying on the bed all day. Nope. This. I can watch her riding me well into next week. I hold tight to her hips, not wanting to let her go. Her tits bounce as her body moves steady. Her mouth opens.

Thirteen minutes. I flip her over and as much as I want to make love to my wife, I want to fuck her more. So I do.

Taking her by the wrists, I slide her arms back in that position from earlier. Call me selfish, but she looks fucking amazing open for me. She lifts her legs and I place her ankles over my shoulders. “Hold on, baby.” With her hands pressed against the headboard, I take hold of her body and thrust. Pounding every ounce of sensation out of us until we’re left pulsing together, electrified in our connection.

Alive.

Her legs are still up when I lay my head on her chest, panting for air. Her heart beats strong, so strong and vibrant. I want to listen to it forever. I close my eyes while she runs her fingers through my hair. She whispers, “Four minutes.”

I think she’s fine, still lost to her bliss, but her body shakes, wracked with a slight cry. When I look up, her eyes match mine. “There’s no getting around the sadness, just distracting ourselves from it temporarily. Five days.”

She holds back her tears, but I see her breath jagged in her chest. “Five days.” It feels as though I’ve only had her back in my life for five minutes. The pain I’m feeling now resembles what I felt when I first moved away. I was desperately lonely. Desperately wanted to go back and get her. But then I heard she was with Reggie, and my heart broke. If only I’d ignored her wishes, swallowed my pride, and gone to her to find out the truth. She was trying to protect me when she sent me away, when she was the one who needed protecting.

And now I’m leaving her again. At least I know where we stand this time. And she’ll be safe. Their driver is trained in covert operations and my bodyguard when I attend events, when needed. He’ll make sure they’re safe. The security system on the house is operating with a guard just inside the gate. They’ll be safe and I can rest easy.

“I don’t want to leave. You know that, right?”

“I know.” She looks toward the window and I go to the bathroom and clean up.

She doesn’t have to count down. Two minutes. I go back and pull on my clothes. Sad eyes watch me and then she gets up to hug me. Her naked body as bare as my soul as I have to tell her goodbye. I feel raw on the inside, my emotions hidden there.

“I love you. I love you. I love you,” I whisper, hoping it sinks deep into her skin and deeper into her veins. I want her not just feeling my love, but breathing it deep within.

“I love you.”

I turn and grab my leather duffel bag in one hand and pull my suitcase in the other.

Time’s up.