CHAPTER 13

“The soup is delicious,” Avery said to Jimmy Bishop, who was sitting across from her at the old farmhouse table. “I love the spicing in it. What is that? Cumin?”

“Ah, yes,” he said, looking uncomfortable as he glanced between her and Emma. “It is cumin.”

She took a big spoonful, ignoring Emma. “Mmmm, delicious. And this bread. Did you get it at Martins’ Market?”

“Yes,” he said tersely, nodding.

“Well, it’s really good.”

Jimmy cleared his throat. “Um, thank you.” He drank a few spoonfuls of his own bowl, slurping softly in the quiet kitchen.

“By the way,” Avery said, continuing to address only Jimmy, “thank you for inviting me over.”

Emma put her soup spoon down with a clatter. “Are we really doing this?” she asked incredulously.

“Doing what?” Avery responded innocently before taking another big spoonful of soup and sipping it loudly.

Emma narrowed her eyes. “You know what. You haven’t said two words to me since you got here. If you’re angry, just say so. Don’t do this whole passive-aggressive thing in front of poor James. He doesn’t know how to handle it.”

Avery glanced at Jimmy. His brow was furrowed and his eyes were wide. The giant man did look more than a bit confused. Clearly he hadn’t grown up with a sister, or he’d be better equipped to handle the verbal warfare at which she and Emma were so adept.

“Fine. He’s a rat, too, though I’m sure you put him up to it. You want to talk?” Avery said, waving her spoon in Emma’s face. “Let’s talk about how you told Theodore Grayson, or shall we say T. R. Grayson, exactly where to find me in Boston. And now that I think about it, I’m beginning to realize that this whole thing was probably a setup from the beginning. I bet you told him to take a room at the Inn, didn’t you, Emma?” At Emma’s ashen look, she knew she’d guessed correctly. “I’m right, aren’t I?” she said triumphantly.

“Yes, but—”

“I knew it! You sold me out.” Quietly, Jimmy put down his spoon, his eyes continuing to move back and forth between the two women.

“Let me finish, Avery. First of all, I didn’t sell you out. I may have mentioned the Inn, but only because Theo told me he was miserable on Val’s boat. And he seemed so tired.” For a moment, Emma looked like their mother. Still, it didn’t sway Avery.

“Well, what about the lecture?” she demanded.

“Didn’t you enjoy it?” Emma stared at her defiantly.

“Yes …” Avery reluctantly admitted.

“See? I only asked you to come because I care about you.” The color had returned to Emma’s face, but Avery gave a delicate snort. “It’s true! I can see the way you look at him.” At Avery’s glare, Emma held up her hand. “Don’t deny it. It’s like Brian Feeney all over again.”

Her jaw dropped. “Brian Feeney? Are you kidding me?”

Jimmy picked himself up and slunk out of the kitchen. Both women ignored him.

“The summer before ninth grade, you mooned after him like crazy. Followed him around for weeks!” Emma exclaimed. “He lifeguarded, so you spent every daylight hour in the pool. He went down to the courts at night, so you had to go, too. Everyone knew you had the hugest crush on him but you refused to acknowledge it.”

Avery was outraged. “How could you bring up Brian Feeney? This situation is nothing like that one.” Avery crossed her hands under her breasts and leaned back in her chair.

“Oh, really?” Emma crossed her arms in an identical gesture. “How so?”

“Because I worshipped Brian, but he ignored me.”

“And this situation is different because …”

“Do you really need me to spell it out? Obviously Theo isn’t ignoring me.”

“But you like him.”

“I’m attracted to him,” Avery corrected. “Big difference.”

For just a moment, something like relief flashed across Emma’s face. “Thank God. I thought I was misreading you.”

“You are misreading me. I don’t have time for Theo Grayson right now.”

“But you just said you were attracted to him,” Emma said with exasperation.

Avery rubbed her eyes. “Look, I’m still trying to figure my own life out. I can’t get wrapped up with some guy just because he has amazing eyes and a killer smile.”

“Not to mention a steel-trap mind and a rock-hard body.”

“Emma!”

“What?” she shrugged. “I may look like a librarian, but I have eyes.”

“You are a librarian!” Avery waved a hand at Emma. “A married librarian!”

Emma ignored her. “I don’t understand why you’re so resistant. This is the perfect time for you to explore a side of yourself that you’ve kept hidden.” She uncrossed her arms and leaned forward. “I came to Star Harbor so tightly wound I was going to explode. I didn’t know whether to chalk it up to dealing with Mom’s illness or something else. But being with James opened my eyes to things I’d never considered before. And now I feel more like myself than I have since Mom died. James is the reason for that.” Emma reached across the table and grasped her hand. “I want you to be happy, too.”

All of Avery’s anger evaporated. “Emma, look, I’m sorry I jumped down your throat, but I’m not ready for this and I don’t know what to do about Theo. I certainly don’t like being manipulated into spending time with him.”

“You’re not being manipulated. You don’t have to do anything except be open to possibilities.”

“There’s so much I’m trying to figure out right now, and a guy like Theo is only going to complicate things. Now that I know he’s a famous author, it just makes it worse.”

“Nothing is wrong with a little complication.”

“Theo is a lot of complication. For one thing, we’re both just visiting town. What happens when he decides to head back to San Francisco or goes off on his next book tour? I’ll be left here alone. In the best-case scenario, I return to Boston to take my old job back.”

“You don’t know what will happen.”

“I know he’s going to leave.” Avery shook her head. “And for another thing, we have nothing in common. He’s a worldly, well-read intellectual and I’m, I’m …”

“Avie, you’re just as smart as he is, not to mention compassionate and loving. Besides, even if you were totally different, sometimes opposites attract. Look at me and James.”

She couldn’t argue with that. Emma and Jimmy couldn’t have been less alike, but they were deeply in love.

“Okay, then, what about the fact that he’s this completely famous author? He all but admitted that he had women throwing themselves at him left and right in California.”

“The important thing is that he’s here now,” Emma said quickly, “and he clearly wants to be with you.”

“But for how long? I need to figure my life out on my own, without some big guy breathing down my neck,” Avery said. “I haven’t had time to do much thinking at all since Theo has made it his mission to make me fall for him.”

“Forget about the relationship aspect for just a moment. Sometimes even the best of us need a little help. Maybe talking to someone who isn’t connected to your industry will help you put things in perspective.”

Avery let out a deep breath. “See, you seem rational and sane, but really you’re the devil in disguise.”

Emma smiled. “Devil’s advocate, you mean.” She still had her hand wrapped in her sister’s. “Do me a favor. Give it a shot.”

“And when I get hurt—”

“If you get hurt, you can blame me.”

Avery groaned. There was no way she was going to win with Emma, but she was okay with it. For now. “Fine. I’ll consider it. Just do me a favor. Don’t interfere with my love life anymore, okay? Full disclosure from now on.”

“Full disclosure,” Emma agreed.

Avery stared at her big sister for a long moment, realizing that everything Emma had done was in an effort to make her happy. She was trying to take care of her, just like their mom always had. “I love you, Emma.”

Emma looked like she was about to cry. “I love you, too.”

They rose and embraced, and to Avery’s surprise, hot tears pricked the corners of her eyes. She squeezed them shut to stop the flow. Just then, she heard Jimmy clear his throat.

“Ah, is everything okay in here?” he asked, poking his head through the door frame.

“Yes,” Emma said, pulling away from Avery and wiping her eyes. “You can come back now.”

Jimmy sighed. “Good. I was beginning to get worried.” He came into the kitchen and put his arm around Emma’s shoulders before kissing the top of her head. “So is she coming iceskating with us at Harper’s Pond on Saturday?”

Emma glanced at Avery. “I hadn’t asked her yet.”

“Emma, you know I can’t skate!”

“That’s because you’ve never tried. Just think of it as more of an outdoor outing than a skating party. All our friends come, and there’s a bonfire. And since we’re doing the whole full-disclosure thing, Theo Grayson is going to be there.”

“I don’t know …” But she did know. Lord help her, but she wanted to go. She wanted to see where things would lead with him, even if she knew they could only end in disaster for them both.

“Lexie Meyers brings homemade cookies and hot chocolate,” Emma added.

“That is just mean.”

“I know your weaknesses,” her sister said, grinning. “Like hot chocolate.” And large men.

“It’ll be great, Avery,” Jimmy piped in. “And you can hold on to me the whole time.”

“Well, okay. But only if you promise not to laugh at my pathetic attempts at skating.”

“I swear,” Jimmy said, placing a huge hand over his heart.

Emma clapped her hands. “We are going to have so much fun!”

“All right.” Avery sighed. “Have you asked Aunt Kate to come, too?”

“I already spoke with her,” Emma said. “She’s absolutely on board.”

“Being out in the cold might not be the best thing for her right now,” Avery said with a frown. “She’s been coughing a bit over the past few days. Maybe she shouldn’t come.”

“We’ll make sure she stays warm. James can always take her home if things get to be too much.”

“All right,” she reluctantly agreed. “As long as she’s bundled up from head to toe.” Then she glanced at her watch. “Oh, darn! It’s seven already. I have to go. Rehearsal starts soon.” She rose to leave. “The soup was really delicious, Jimmy. I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable.”

“You didn’t, little sister.”

She hugged Jimmy goodbye, and then tightly squeezed Emma, whispering into her ear, “You married a good man, Emma. A really good man.”

Rehearsal that night was both exhilarating and exhausting. Every ounce of emotion, smidgen of angst, and iota of confusion Avery had pent up over the last few weeks was released into her violin in an outpouring of passion. The crescendos, trills, and rapid runs all swelled inside of her before being released into the ether. It was more than cathartic. It was cleansing.

By the time rehearsal was over, she felt drained and more than a bit sleepy. As she was putting her violin away, she could barely keep her eyes open. Luke came up to her, a smile stretching across his worn face.

“Good rehearsal tonight. You played well. I can tell you’ve been practicing.”

“Thanks. I’m enjoying it tremendously,” she said, tucking her bow into the indentation in her case and strapping it in place. “Just needed to express myself, I guess.”

“Well, whatever it was, it was great. By the way, have you given any more thought to what we talked about?” Luke asked.

“You mean performing Christmas week?”

He nodded.

“I’m in.”

Luke raised his eyebrows in surprise. “You said that so forcefully. Mind telling me how you made up your mind?”

She smiled. “Let’s just say that folks here can be very persuasive.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear it. It’s going to be great, especially with you on first.”

“When’s the actual performance?”

“The twenty-third. We’ll have two dress rehearsals the weekend before to prepare.”

“Sounds fine. And we perform—”

“Here. Father Phillips is kind enough to let us use the church. Especially since we donate every cent of the five-dollar ticket price to the church as a thank-you.”

Karen Wright approached them. “You joining us at the Nail tonight, Avery?” she asked, pushing her glasses up her nose.

Avery shook her head. “No. I’ve had a rough week and I’m kind of tired. Next time.” She smiled.

“All right. See you soon. And practice that Bach. We’ll start with it next time.”

“Will do.”

Avery walked home, not sliding once. She’d figured out the trick of walking in Star Harbor. Instead of risking the icy sidewalks, she crunched through the snow that was mounded on the sides. There was a great deal more traction in the snow than on the half-cleared sidewalks, and she reveled in the fact that she didn’t have to hang on to any lampposts. Or Theo Grayson.

Even thinking about Theo made her temperature rise. He was constantly on her mind and it was driving her nuts. What did she tell her clients? “The first step is to accept there is a problem. The next step is to do something about it.”

Maybe she should take her own advice and just admit that she was addicted to—well, not really addicted to, but interested in—Theo. Sighing, she realized that she’d been lying to everyone, including herself, about her feelings for him. The social worker in her screamed to confront the issue, to try to overcome whatever hold it was that he had on her, to break free. The woman in her was more interested in seeing how he’d look with his shirt off.

Avery groaned, not really having any idea what she was going to do or how she was going to do it. She hated this impotence, this inability to take charge of her emotions.

And she was beginning to hate Theodore Grayson for making her feel this way. Except when he had his lips on hers. Or his arms wrapped around her. Or his fingers in her hair.

She sighed heavily. This was going nowhere, fast. But Yvonne’s words had resonated with her: she needed to keep her focus on those who still needed her help. Well, that would be her. She needed to help herself and undoubtedly, the place to start was dealing with her attraction to Theo. So she liked him. Fine.

Maybe she should give Theo a shot. That is, if she could trust herself enough to take the leap.