CHAPTER 24

Cole was having a rough Friday. He’d been working for three solid weeks on the drug project without getting any answers, but he wasn’t going to complain as long as his mind was off a certain blond-haired, hazel-eyed doctor and all the hoops he still had to jump through to get back to her. If she’ll even have you.

He got his mind back on task, fast. Working with Val and his team, the Sheriff’s Department had compiled a list of the top prescribing doctors and pharmacies for controlled substances in Barnstable County and had begun constructing the sting operation. They had an inside guy—someone Val recommended—prepping, infiltrating, setting himself up for access. Waiting for an in.

But they were still waiting.

And it was killing Cole.

He needed to see action. Needed to see it through. But he wasn’t the one calling the shots, and there was no way in hell he’d blow it. Not with so much at stake. Yet to just sit and wait for days, weeks, even months? God, he was going to go insane!

To give himself a break, he’d followed up on figuring out Don’s associates and connections, but the man wasn’t talking and Cole’s research hadn’t revealed anything. So he’d started in on his own drug incident files again, trying to figure out if he could pinpoint something—anything—that could help him get some answers a bit closer to home. Sure, there was a big, sweeping operation going on, but that didn’t mean that drug dealing in Star Harbor had just up and stopped. He didn’t know what he was looking for, just that there had to be some small nugget hidden within the drug-related clusters of incidents in town. He’d pored over more case files than he cared to count, but he just couldn’t see any rhyme or reason to the patterns.

Cole stared at the whiteboard in the conference room for what seemed like the millionth time that afternoon and rubbed his fingers over his eyes. What was he missing? What couldn’t he see?

Mentally, he ticked through the variables in the case again. He’d charted the incidents for time of day, location, age of perpetrators, any description of the drug dealer, and every other possible variable he could think of, but nothing made sense. Nothing connected them except the drug itself. Every lead ran into a dead end.

He turned away from the whiteboard and back to the stacks of files on the conference-room table he’d been puzzling over. Absentmindedly, he flipped through the file on top and skimmed the arresting officer’s report. Time and date of arrest, description of scene, suspect’s statement. One line jumped out at him: “Suspect bought four packets of ‘bath salts’ from dealer.”

Cole paused, then read the statement again. And again. He thought about it for a long moment. Then, as if he’d been fumbling in the dark for days, a light went off in his brain, illuminating everything. He’d been thinking about everything in the files, but what about something that wasn’t there at all? At least, not obviously there.

Where the hell was all the money going?

In Cole’s experience, with drug trafficking cases, it was typically tricky to trace. But here, the number of incidents clustered together virtually ensured that a Star Harbor local was involved, which was why Val and his team were here. And if a local was involved, he could have put any ill-gotten gains into a regular bank account at Star Harbor Mutual. Federal reporting requirements would have triggered an inquiry for deposits over ten grand, but unless the person had been extraordinarily careful, there should be some other red flags, such as clustered deposits just under that triggering amount.

His mouth set in a grim line, Cole picked up the phone to call the county district attorney. He needed to subpoena some bank records and he hoped that his good relationship with the president of Star Harbor Mutual would make the bank more inclined to cooperate.

Then he’d call Val. With any luck, there’d be some connection they could use to their advantage. And Lord knows, they needed some kind of advantage. Because waiting around just wasn’t cutting it anymore. Not for him.

Seventy-two hours later, subpoena in hand, Cole had what he needed. He, Hank, Kip, Jason Ullner, another of his deputies, Dave Preiss, a representative from Star Harbor Mutual, and Marie Fine, an assistant district attorney, were now staring at adjacent computer screens set up in the conference room at the Sheriff’s Department. A whirring hum emanated from the machines as they pored through the electronic records.

The bank had agreed to give them the information without names attached to the accounts to protect the privacy of innocent third parties. Only if there was truly suspicious activity would Cole be able to additionally subpoena specific names to match the accounts. His team’s requests and searches would be facilitated by Dave, who was there as a gesture of the bank’s goodwill and full cooperation.

Val had also given Cole his blessing. In fact, he’d been thrilled. He and his team had been spinning their wheels in Boston on this case, and things on the local front had been dead until now. Unfortunately, Val had a full case load, but he promised that once he was done with his current case—most likely in a day or two—he was coming back to Star Harbor to help.

Steadily, Cole and his team worked through the records, looking for any obvious patterns surrounding the clusters of drug-related incidents they had charted in their own files and any unusually large deposits that almost, but didn’t quite, trigger the federal reporting requirement. It was slow going.

After three hours of staring at a computer screen, Cole was ready to take a break. He stretched his arms above his head and glanced over at Hank, who was squinting at the screen while absentmindedly rubbing the back of his neck. Kip had his eye glued to his monitor, while Jason was staring at some notes by his workstation.

“I assume that if any of you had found something interesting, you would have shouted out by now, right?” Cole asked. The men nodded. “That’s what I thought. This is getting us nowhere. Either the perp was clever and hid his transactions, or we’re looking in the wrong time frame.”

“Well, we’re looking in the same time frame as when the incidents occurred. Shouldn’t that be right?” Jason asked.

“If the person—or people—were dealing, money could have been funneled into an account during the time the incidents took place. But what if the person was merely facilitating the dealing? Or doing the buying? The money could have been put into an account well before or after the clusters, right?”

“You’re right,” Hank said. “Let’s broaden our search.”

“Can we change the time frame without going outside the scope of the subpoena?” Cole asked Marie.

Marie nodded. “I see no problem with that, since the subpoena was broadly worded.”

“Good,” Cole said. “Look for large deposits within three months prior to the start and end of each of the clusters we’ve charted.”

“Let me pull up those records,” said Dave.

Within an hour of reviewing the new records, Kip had a hit. “Sheriff!” he shouted excitedly, his blue eyes wide with excitement. “I think I found something!” As Cole walked over, he pointed at a line on the screen. “See? Three deposits of $9,950, three days apart, in November.” He clicked through to another page on the screen. “And see there? Four smaller deposits of nine grand each in the last week of January.”

“You’re sure this is the same account?” Cole questioned.

“Positive. I double-checked to be sure.”

“Any other red flags?”

“Let me check.” Kip flipped through the pages. “Aha! There and there. Two more times when cluster transactions occurred, each deposit large, but not large enough to trigger the reporting requirement.”

“I bet if we broaden out the search even more, we’ll find more clusters,” Hank said.

Marie nodded. “Let’s do it.”

When at last they’d confirmed that they had several hundred thousand dollars of transactions just under the reporting requirements, Cole smiled in satisfaction as he jotted down the account’s identifying numbers and handed it to Marie. “Ms. Fine, please draw up another subpoena and go get us a name.”

At the end of his long day, Cole stood up from behind his desk and stretched. The office was quiet; most of his deputies were off duty, Rhonda Lee was packing up to go, and Hank was out on patrol. He was exhausted but satisfied. By tomorrow morning he’d have the name of his top local suspect in the drug incidents that had disturbed the peace in Star Harbor. Then, he and the county attorneys would methodically prepare a rock-solid case against him. Maybe they could even flip the guy, make him assist in the sting. That sure would make Val happy.

And it made him feel great. He was reflecting on how he was going to tell his brother the good news, when his cell phone rang.

“Grayson,” he answered.

As he listened to the voice on the other end, his blood ran cold.

It was after hours at her office on Tuesday night. As Julie had done many times over the past two weeks, she’d read several chapters of a good novel with a sandwich at her desk and then finished up some paperwork. Better to be here than at her house. She’d found out from the daytime guards that Cole was outside her home from midnight to four A.M. every night. And the worst thing? He’d never told her he was there. Being a cop, he still had to see to her safety, but their relationship had been collateral damage.

With the doors locked tight, it was safe at her office, and if she went home too early she’d just start crying again. Or eating ice cream straight out of the carton and watching maudlin movies on Lifetime. So she avoided it as long as possible, until she couldn’t hold out for sleep any longer. Then, and only then, would she call whoever was on duty to escort her home.

But right now, it was only six, she had no more work left to do, her dinner was gone, and the thought of reading more of her book wasn’t appealing. Picking up the phone, she dialed a now-familiar number. Rhonda Lee picked up on the second ring. Once the friendly dispatcher had gone through her introduction, Julie jumped in.

“Hi, Rhonda Lee. It’s just Julie, calling for a pickup.”

“Hi, honey. Hank’s on duty tonight. I’ll send him to your office right away.”

After she got off the phone, she packed up her gear and went to the front room to wait for Hank. As Rhonda Lee had promised, she didn’t have to wait long. A rap sounded on the front door only five minutes after the call. Peering through the newly installed door’s peephole, she confirmed it was Hank and undid the lock. The good-looking sandy-haired man stood there in full uniform. She gave him a smile.

“Hi, Hank. Thanks for coming out tonight.”

“No problem, Dr. Kensington.”

“Please,” she said. “We’ve talked about this. Call me Julie.”

He inclined his head, and said, “Julie,” to placate her, but she knew he wouldn’t stick to it. She’d be Dr. Kensington again tomorrow.

“Mind taking a quick detour?” she asked.

“Not at all. Where to?”

“The Wright Read. I just … need another distraction.”

He nodded sagely, as if he knew exactly what she was talking about. “Sure. Lock up, and then we’ll head over.”

Quickly, she locked the front door, then walked with Hank down Front Street to Main, before turning onto Edgar. When they reached the front door to the bookstore, Hank’s radio started crackling.

“You go on inside,” he said, reaching for the unit. “I’ll be there in a moment.”

She nodded at him, since he was already talking, and slipped into the cool, familiar store. She breathed in the aroma of paper, leather, and wood, remembering why she loved this place so much.

Max and Karen were nowhere in sight, so she started browsing the new paperback arrivals stacked up near the cash register by the front. A few looked good, so she tucked them under her arm to ask Max about. She was just about to walk into the back to find him when a book in the big glass case behind the checkout area caught her eye. Could it be a signed copy of the new Arturo Pérez-Reverte novel? She got closer. Yes, it was, and she just had to have a closer look! Surely Max wouldn’t mind if she took a peek.

She put the books she was carrying onto the counter and walked to the glass case. It wasn’t locked, so she simply slid it open and pulled out the book. God, it was just beautiful! She flipped the front cover open to look for the author’s signature. There it was, inscribed in all its bold elegance, the block-like letters a punctuation mark on the title page. She sighed and closed the cover, wondering whether it was worth it to pay full hard-cover price for the tome. Not today. Not when she was so lonely and sad.

Julie put the book down and slid the case shut. Where were Max and Karen, anyway? She walked down the corridor to see if either of them was in the office. As she approached, she saw Max. He had his back toward her.

She was about to call out to him when he turned to his side. He was holding a familiar-looking object in his hand. It wasn’t … it couldn’t be.… one of her missing prescription pads?

Her heart stopped.

Though she was about ten feet away, she could still make out the shape of her name—the font, the script, the color. Hers.

But, that would mean that Karen or Max …

No! She had to get out of the store as fast as she could. Hoping he hadn’t seen her, she turned quickly and made for the door. She couldn’t wrap her mind around the possibility that they were involved. Surely this was just some awful mistake. The Wrights? The idea didn’t compute in her head. But the proof was there, sure as Sunday.

She was almost to the door when a familiar voice called out.

“Turn around.”

Max. She ignored him and kept walking.

“Turn around. I have a gun.”

That made her stop. Slowly, she turned.

“Damn it, Julie,” Max said. “Why’d you have to sneak up on me like that?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she lied calmly despite the fluttering in her chest. “I was just up here looking around.”

“You’re an awful liar.” His voice was hard. “I know you saw it.”

She simply stared at him. Who was this alien creature standing before her? She didn’t even recognize this person she’d once called a friend. Instead of his usual robust self, he seemed haggard and worn. His wavy hair, recently simply gray at the temples, now sported a shock of white. There were large bags under his eyes and he looked as if he hadn’t slept in days. But all of that paled in comparison to his cold, mean gaze and the silver pistol trained directly on her.

“Max, I was just looking at the books,” she said. Max simply stared at her and cocked the gun. He was right. She was an awful liar. There wasn’t any way around the situation, so she just had to power through. She swallowed hard. “Max, why?”

He shrugged. “Why do people do anything? Money, of course. Or revenge.”

“Revenge? What did I do to you to make you hate me?”

“Oh, I don’t hate you. It was purely a business proposition on my part. Can’t say the same thing about Rathbone, though.”

“You were the one who sicced Don on me?”

Max snorted. “You think he’s smart enough to act on his own? No way. Had to push his buttons in just the right way. Whisper little things in his ear about how you were breaking his family apart. I thought he’d scare you enough so you’d start getting sloppy with your work, or at least keep your focus elsewhere. Then I could deal with getting my job done.”

“Oh, my God,” Julie breathed. “Cole was right. You’re the one behind all of this. Not Don.” Hank was right outside, but how was she going to get his attention without alerting Max? Carefully, she began to inch backward, wanting so desperately to feel the hard wood of the heavy door against her shoulder blades.

Max snorted. “Don couldn’t have thought up a scheme like this by himself. I fed him information bit by bit—you helping Margo, your routine. All he needed was to keep you preoccupied. But he always went a little too far. No surprise. Everything Don touches gets fouled up.”

Julie was so close to the door she could almost touch it. Just as she thought about making a run for it, Max spoke.

“Oh, I can’t let you leave, Julie. Not now.” From ten feet away she could see a muscle twitch over his right eye.

She didn’t know whether to laugh or to scream. On top of everything else that had happened to her this month, she was going to be shot and killed. She could see the headline in the Star Harbor Gazette now: “Local doctor murdered and dumped in alley.”

Without moving closer to the door, she turned slightly, with her right side away from Max, and slowly placed her hand in her right pants pocket. Her cell phone was where she’d left it. Hoping that Max couldn’t see what she was doing, she pressed the key to speed-dial Cole. She prayed that she’d hit the right button. And prayed even harder that he wouldn’t ignore her call.

She had to stay calm. Maybe she could buy time by talking. Even seconds counted, both to let Cole know where she was and to stay alive. Crossing her fingers that he’d picked up the line, she tried to speak slowly, without any hint of fear. “You haven’t told me everything, have you, Max?”

“Move away from the door, Julie.”

“Hank’s right outside the bookstore, you know, waiting for me to come out. He’ll be in any second.” As she spoke, she moved even nearer to the exit.

“Stop playing with me. Get away from the door!” he said sharply. “I mean it!” His hand holding the gun didn’t shake.

Keep him talking. Keep him focused on himself. She was thinking like a cop now. She hoped that meant she wouldn’t die. “Why did you trash my house?”

“Oh, I had Don do that to give you a scare. And if he could grab the pads in the process, it would make it look like a straight-up robbery.” He shrugged. “Obviously, it didn’t work.”

“You bailed him out time and time again? He’s dangerous, Max! He came after me, beat his own son—you knew what you were doing when you unleashed him on Star Harbor.”

“Don was a wild card, I’ll give you that. But he was always expendable to the operation. Look, if you’d just let the missing pads go, we could have avoided all of this.”

Julie frowned. “But the first set of pads went missing months ago. How’d you even know that I did any kind of follow-up?”

“Because you ordered a new batch.”

“Which you stole. And you know what else I realized? Don went after me on the pier even before that. You’ve been using him to keep me off the scent for a while now, haven’t you?”

Max set his lips into a straight line, and she knew she was right. “Like I said, I’m sorry you got caught in the crossfire,” he said, but he didn’t seem sorry at all. “You may not believe this, but I honestly didn’t want you involved. I needed those prescription pads, and it was easiest to get them from you. I realized you knew the second batch was stolen when I heard you telling Karen you’d ordered new ones. I figured the old serial numbers were hot, so I tried to head off the delivery at your house. Obviously, I missed it.”

So he was the one who’d left those footprints in the shed. Now that she was in so deep, she needed to connect everything. “What, exactly, did you need the pads for?”

His eyes narrowed and he stepped toward her. Instinctively, she stepped backward, but he simply closed the distance between them and took her by the upper arm, turning her to face the back of the shop. “You think I was always a bookseller?” He placed the gun at her back and began to prod her to walk forward. She didn’t know if the question was rhetorical, so she didn’t answer. He went on. “No, the store was Karen’s dream, not mine. When we met, I was doing something entirely different. Something much more lucrative. Not that she knew. I gave it up when we got married.” He spoke casually, as if they were simply at Babs’s house having dinner. “An old friend contacted me. Asked if I wanted some side work. I said yes. This shop is a money pit.” She tried to walk slower, but he prodded her with the gun again. “Move.”

“So you’re a drug dealer. And so is Don.”

“Don’s a pathetic user. At his best, he was a gofer. But my job is more … specialized.”

“What does that even mean?”

“May as well tell you now,” Max said. “Even in the old days, I was always the middleman. I get the order, then I supply the raw material to our manufacturers. The friend who got me in is my only contact. I don’t know who runs the operation, and I don’t know who distributes. At that point, it’s not my problem.”

“Not your problem? Come on.” Julie couldn’t help the incredulity that slipped into her voice. “People have been getting hurt, sick. Killed.” It was reckless to engage Max in a discussion like this with a gun pointed at her back, but she was running out of ideas. All she could do was to keep talking. As long as she was talking, she was still alive. Max didn’t speak, so Julie pressed her case. “That’s right, Max. A lot of people have already died from the drugs you’ve been making. If it stays out on the streets, more will die, too. You want that on your conscience?”

“Don’t preach at me, Doctor. I have a mortgage to pay and a family to support. You have no idea of the pressure I’m under.”

They were at the back door now—the door that led right out to the alleyway. All Julie knew was that heading out there was a bad idea. Max wouldn’t have told her all of this if he didn’t intend to kill her. And once she disappeared out back, Hank would have no way to find her. She had to stall.

“Sure I do, Max,” she said, turning slowly, so that he wouldn’t freak out and shoot her by accident. “I have my own business too, you know. There were other ways.”

“Don’t you think I tried?” There was an edge to his voice now. “I’d started fudging the numbers so Karen wouldn’t realize we were in the red, but all that did was mess things up more.”

“Karen would have understood.” Julie lowered her voice to try to calm him down.

“No!” he said, his face a mask of intensity. “Karen wouldn’t have understood.” He was flushed, angry. “And it’s your fault she hired that damned accountant! She never would have figured it out!”

She had to keep reasoning with him. “Don’t you think she would have eventually, Max? She’s not stupid.”

He was right up in front of her now, and the muscle twitching over his eye spasmed hard. The pressure of the gun, now pressed into her stomach, was the only thing that was real anymore.

“Open the door,” he said, his voice low. Slowly, she reached behind her and felt for the doorknob. She still had a chance. She could escape from him in the alley. Maybe use one of the garbage can lids to hit him, immobilize him, the way she and Cole had practiced. “Pull it open and walk out.”

She did as he asked, waiting to make her move. But just as she’d gotten the door pried open, Hank appeared, gun drawn.

“Police!” he yelled. “Hands where I can see them!”

Directly in the door frame, Julie raised her hands, but Max didn’t comply. In a split second, he grabbed her, never once losing contact between his gun and her flesh, and swung her in front of him.

“Back up, Hank!” he yelled back.

Hank froze, his gaze trained on Max. “Don’t do this, Max,” he said. “Put your gun down and let Dr. Kensington go. It’ll go easier on everyone if you just listen to me now.”

“Put your gun down.” The gun was pointed at her temple now. “Or else she gets it.”

Before she could blink, Hank had thrown his weapon onto the ground. “Now give me ten minutes, or I swear to God, she will die.”

Hank gave one curt nod, and then Max dragged her out the door. But The Wright Read’s door was set a foot above the alleyway, and as she stepped back, she stumbled, twisting her ankle. As she went down, Max still holding on to her, a huge, darkened figure moved out of the shadows and grabbed onto Max’s arm. Max lost his balance, and a split second later a bullet whizzed by her ear and ricocheted off the brick wall, the centuries-old clay splintering upon impact.

Max let her go, and as fast as she could, she scrambled away from where he and the other man were fighting, Max trying to regain his balance. Max fired up at the big man, who jerked with the impact of the direct hit, forcing his face into a sliver of lamplight.

“Cole!” she gasped. The lawman didn’t even flinch, intent only upon reaching his target. In one swift movement, he knocked the pistol out of Max’s hand, twisted his arms behind his back, and threw him to the ground. Another moment passed before he had him handcuffed. Methodically, Cole read him his rights with his knee pressed into the small of Max’s back.

Max lay there, breathing heavily.

“Hank!” Cole yelled. “Now!”

Julie simply stared at him. He was saying something to her, but all she could think about was her ankle. It throbbed terribly.

“Ah, crap, Doc. Don’t pass out on me now. Where the hell is he? Hank!”

Cole’s voice snapped her out of her daze. But before she could rise, Hank appeared in the doorway. “I’m here, boss,” he said.

Hank pulled Max up from where he lay and propelled him to the door. As Cole relinquished control of Max to Hank, Julie saw blood seeping down the front of Cole’s shirt. The sight of the blood snapped her out of her stupor.

“Oh, God, Cole!” she exclaimed, standing up and rushing toward him. “Sit down, please.” He complied, sitting down heavily on the step. Quickly, she knelt, unbuttoned his shirt and pushed the fabric back, then carefully examined his shoulder. “Call an ambulance!” she said to Hank. “Entry wound clean, no exit wound,” she muttered. “Maybe we won’t have to wait that long. Hold on a second.”

Her ankle was smarting, so she hobbled down the alley, unlocked her office’s back door, and rushed to the nurse’s station. There, she retrieved sterile towels, gauze, and medical tape. When she returned moments later, all three men were in the exact same positions. “Cole? Lie down. It’ll be easier for me to stop the bleeding.” Crouching down, she helped him get off the step and ease back, then immediately began applying pressure to the wound. She pressed hard for several minutes until the blood flow slowed. “You okay?” she asked.

“Yeah,” he said quietly, still gritting his teeth against the pain.

“You’re in good hands until the ambulance gets here,” Hank said. “I’m taking this character in. I’ll be by to see you later, after Max is transferred to county lockup.”

Cole gave him a nod, and Hank left, pulling Max along with him.

The alley was dark and silent. After the insanity of the past few minutes, it seemed almost therapeutic to be alone.

“Smart of you to call me,” he said.

“Shh. Don’t talk.”

He ignored her. “Took me a few moments to figure out what was going on, but once I did, I ran over. I—” he paused for a moment, as if trying to phrase his words carefully. “Glad it didn’t go through to my voicemail.”

A hard pit formed in Julie’s stomach when she thought about what could have happened if she hadn’t gotten through. It had taken both Hank and Cole to shut Max down. “Me too. Now stay quiet. I don’t want you to bleed out before the ambulance gets here.”

“From this?” He gave her a painful smile. “It’s just a scratch.”

“It’s going to scar.”

“You know I’ve had worse.”

There was silence for a while before he spoke again. “Been working on this drug case nonstop for the past three weeks. We’d zeroed in on the local involved. The subpoenaed name was coming tomorrow, but when I heard Max’s voice on the phone, I knew it was him—the guy behind Don Rathbone’s attacks, and the coordinator of the drug manufacturing in Star Harbor. The bank records are proof enough, but I heard the confession you got out of him. You did good, Doc.”

Julie shifted her weight to press harder on the wound, and Cole winced.

“Cole! Are you getting dizzy? Weak?” Julie put her free hand under his knees. “Elevate your legs onto the step.”

He didn’t move. “Just thinking about what would have happened if he had hurt you, even a little bit.” His face hardened.

“But he didn’t hurt me, Cole. I’m fine. A bit shaken up, but fine. Please, stay quiet and put your legs up.”

“I can’t lose you, Julie. Marry me.”

“What did you say?” Julie jerked her head up.

Cole’s eyes burned into hers. “I want you to marry me. As soon as possible.”

“Cole, you’ve been shot! You’re wounded and delirious, and you’re bleeding all over the place. You don’t know what you’re saying.” She bit her lip. “You might even—” Die. I was about to say die.

“Dying without saying what I need to say would be worse, Doc. Just let me talk. Please. Marry me.”

“But that night in the park—”

“Acted like a first-class idiot. So sorry for the pain I must have caused you. God, I was so focused on the PTSD I couldn’t even see what I needed the most. This last month has been one of the most stressful of my life. Worse than being in combat. And it’s because you’ve been in danger. Thought if I pushed you away it would all just fade away. Thought I wouldn’t have to confront those feelings head-on. But I lied to myself and I lied to you.” He paused.

“How are you even lucid?”

“You read my file, Doc. How many times have I been shot?”

Four. The bleeding had slowed and he was grimacing in pain, but if he was determined to talk, she wanted to hear everything he had to say. “Go on,” she said.

He swallowed. “There’s so much I haven’t told you about my stint in Afghanistan. So much I’ve kept from you. Those nightmares are just the tip of the iceberg. Got diagnosed with PTSD as soon as I got back to the States. Able to manage it with therapy, but any time I got a strong emotion—fear, hate …”

“Love?”

“Yeah, love,” Cole said. “You forced me to look at myself in a different way, made me work to show you that I was changed. When you started to see the best in me it brought out the worst, because I’d never loved anyone like you before. So when you were in danger, I couldn’t hold it in.” He looked at her expectantly.

“Keep talking,” she said softly. This was the most he’d ever spoken about it and she wanted to hear every word.

“Thought I could handle it—being in love with someone.” He gritted his teeth, obviously in agony, but then took a few deep breaths. She was shocked when he continued, his voice clear and strong. “The lack of control got to me, but I tried to keep it in check. For you. And then you were in danger and I just lost it. It kept getting harder and harder to manage. But there were so many times when you took the edge off. I wanted you so badly, I knew I had to make some serious changes to get you back in my life. I thought about it for a long time. And when I got your call tonight, when I saw the gun Max was pointing at your head, only one thought was running through my mind: I love her and I will do whatever it takes to have her.” His voice was even stronger now. How he’d pushed back the pain she’d never understand. With his good arm, Cole picked up Julie’s hand and held it to his cheek. “I love you. I need you. I can’t live without you. Marry me.”

“I love you, too. So much. You’ve become an amazing man, with incredible strength and character, but—”

“I’m one step ahead of you, Doc. I already made an appointment to see my shrink in Boston. I don’t want anything to get in our way.”

“Yes, yes I’ll marry you.” She was crying now, and she didn’t care.

Then Julie kissed him, long and hard.

“Ah, Julie,” he groaned. “Kiss me again.”

When her lips met his, her heart swelled so joyously she thought it would burst. He loved her, and was willing to face his demons in order to have a future with her. And she would do everything she could to support him in what she knew would be a difficult journey. But they were together. That was all that mattered.

They were still kissing when the ambulance came.