Chapter Forty-Two
As soon as Josh had left the bathroom, Dee hauled herself out of the tub and, sploshing wet footprints across the floor tiles, hastily locked the door. Grabbing a fluffy towel off the heated radiator, she rubbed herself down, squirted deodorant into each armpit, and then wrapped the towel tightly around herself. Picking up her discarded office clothes, she unlocked the door and scampered off to the bedroom. She could hear the sound of the television. Josh was in the lounge. Hopefully he’d stay there while she sorted herself out. So much for a peaceful night in with a microwave meal. Dee slipped on a clean pair of pants, and was hooking her bra together when Josh appeared in the bedroom doorway.
‘I’m not dressed,’ she snapped.
‘You look overdressed to me,’ said Josh with a lazy grin. ‘Nice undies, babe.’ He came over and slid his hands around her bare waist. ‘You have a fabulous body.’
‘Get your hands off me.’
‘That’s not what you used to say,’ said Josh, dropping his mouth to her bare shoulder and kissing his way down her back.
Dee shuddered, but not with desire. ‘I said,’ she hissed, ‘get off.’ The hooks on the bra met, and she quickly yanked a t-shirt over her head.
‘Hey,’ said Josh, putting his hands up in a gesture of surrender, ‘no problem. We’ll talk first, and make love later.’
Dee grabbed her jeans and stuck one leg in. The thought of being intimate with Josh after him being all over another woman made her hand involuntarily twitch. She had a sudden urge to slap him.
‘Don’t you want to put a nice dress on?’ he asked. ‘I said I’d take you out to dinner. I want us to have a champagne celebration.’
‘What exactly do you want to celebrate?’
‘Us, of course. Our new start.’
‘I haven’t yet agreed to one. And thanks for the dinner invitation, but it’s a no. Right now, I couldn’t eat a thing.’
‘That’s because you’re cross with me.’
‘You don’t say,’ said Dee sarcastically.
‘C’mon,’ Josh cajoled. ‘Where do you fancy going?’
‘Into the lounge. You can tell me everything in there.’
‘But what about dinner?’
‘I just told you. I’m not hungry. Now can you stop prevaricating?’ Dee shoved past him and stalked off. She thumped herself down in an armchair, avoiding sitting next to Josh. The last thing she wanted was an octopus arm winding around her as he tried to persuade her to get undressed.
Josh sat down on the sofa and gave her a frank look. ‘Okay, okay,’ he sighed. ‘I’ll tell you the truth. As I said, cards on the table time.’
‘I’m all ears.’
‘Look, this isn’t all my fault you know. It takes two to make a relationship work.’
Dee realised he was starting off by going on the defensive. She played along. ‘I quite agree.’
Josh looked pleased at her acquiescence. ‘Things weren’t right between us.’
‘In what way?’
‘You were nagging me.’
Dee arched an eyebrow. ‘About?’
‘Everything,’ Josh grimaced. ‘Moving…getting a house instead of staying here in this flat…dropping hints about getting married – and you don’t have to be Einstein to work out that after marriage comes a baby. There’s no room for a baby in this flat. I felt pressured. Like I was being boxed into a corner.’
‘I see. So why didn’t you sit me down, like now, and talk about it?’
Josh shrugged. ‘I panicked and ran. I spent the week thinking about us, and evaluating my feelings…like whether I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. As the week went on, I realised I was missing you. A lot. And…and that I’d behaved foolishly.’ He gave Dee a contrite look. His eyes filled with just the right amount of water to make him look both vulnerable and little-boy-lost. ‘I’m so sorry.’
‘I appreciate your honesty,’ said Dee.
‘Honesty is the best policy.’
‘Absolutely.’ Dee paused for a moment, allowing Josh to digest the bit about honesty. ‘So where did you go?’
‘To a mate’s.’
‘Ah.’
‘Yeah.’
‘That was very accommodating of…him?’
‘Him?’
‘The mate was male, yes?’
‘Of course,’ said Josh indignantly.
‘Does he live far away?’
‘No, no, not really.’ Josh caught something in Dee’s expression, and hastily corrected himself. ‘Well, it depends how you look at it. Not far away in travel time but…um…quite far away in miles. If you see what I mean.’
‘I think so,’ said Dee. ‘So, what you’re trying to tell me is,’ she put her head on one side and considered, ‘not far away in travel time–’
‘–absolutely!’
‘–especially if you travel there by plane,’ Dee finished.
‘Er, w-well not exactly by plane but–’
‘But you took your passport, didn’t you?’
‘Ah, y-yes, it was by plane,’ Josh nodded.
‘So that’s how you got the suntan!’ She clapped her hands together as if the whole thing was a game. ‘Why didn’t you say so in the first place, you big silly!’
‘Ha ha ha,’ Josh laughed nervously. ‘Well, I wasn’t sure you’d be too impressed with me taking off to Tenerife and leaving you here–’
‘–in January, in good old freezing England,’ said Dee, finishing Josh’s sentence.
‘Exactly!’ Josh smiled. ‘So, now that’s all out the way, shall we go to dinner?’ He stood up.
‘Not yet. Sit back down.’
‘Why?’
‘Because we’re still chatting.’ She watched as Josh reluctantly re-parked his bottom. ‘Do tell me, who’s your mate in Tenerife? I don’t think I’ve ever heard you mention a friend over there.’
Josh puffed out his cheeks. ‘No, well, that’s because…because he’s a very private guy.’
‘What’s his name?’
‘Emmerson.’
‘Emma-son,’ Dee enunciated, rolling the name over her tongue. She liked the way Josh flinched as she pronounced the “Emma” bit. She narrowed her eyes as if thinking. ‘Has Emmerson, by any chance, been on your mind these past few weeks?’
‘Er, why?’
‘Because recently you’ve been sleep talking. Last time around, you woke me up shouting Emmerson’s name.’
Josh blanched. ‘Really?’
‘Mmm. Except you called him something else. It was more like,’ Dee threw her head back, closed her eyes and, in an orgasmic voice moaned, ‘Emma, oh Emmaaaaa.’
‘Oh dear. You’ve discovered Emmerson’s little secret.’
‘And what would that be?’
‘He’s transgender. He’s thinking about having the op. You know,’ Josh nodded at his crotch by way of explanation. ‘But he’s changed his name to Emma. It’s been a tough time for him. We used to clean windows together, before I met you. Happily, these days things are much easier for transgenders. I mean, it’s really quite cool to say you’re transgender, eh!’
‘Oh absolutely,’ said Dee, her tone sugar sweet.
‘But a few years ago, he felt completely out of his depth. I mean, her depth.’
‘So he-who-is-now-a-she took off to Tenerife for a new beginning, and recently you joined him-who-is-now-a-her to give moral support?’
‘That’s it!’ Josh stood up again. ‘Can we go out to dinner now? I’m famished.’ He rubbed his stomach and attempted a jolly tone. ‘I’m so glad we’re back on track. And I might as well tell you some fabulous news. You’re going to love this! I want us to get married. But I want to propose properly. This evening. While we’re out. So please get changed into a posh frock, sweetheart. It’s going to be lots of flickering candlelight and me down on one knee.’ He grinned in delight at Dee’s stunned expression. She looked like she’d been presented with six bouquets of roses and didn’t know what to do with them all. Not that Josh ever gave her any flowers, but he decided that he might start doing so after tonight. Just to distract her and stop her interrogating him. Josh inwardly groaned. He’d now have to fork out for an engagement ring. Then he perked up a bit. They did some nice second-hand ones at the local jeweller’s. He cleared his throat and gave Dee a dazzling smile, like a film star who’d been let loose with dentist’s whitening bleach. ‘So where shall we go, my angel?’
At that moment the flat’s intercom buzzed.
‘I’ll get it,’ said Dee faintly. Good heavens. Josh wanted to marry her. He’d popped the question and was prepared to propose all over again, romantically. She went out into the hallway in a daze, and picked up the intercom handset. ‘Hello? Yes. I see. Yes, he’s here.’
‘Is it Mum?’ asked Josh, appearing at her side. ‘I told her I’d be back today.’
Dee gave Josh a nod, and then spoke into the handset. ‘I’ll buzz you in.’
She pressed the button to release the main entrance door, put the handset down, and then opened the flat’s door and left it ajar. Josh didn’t see her pick up her house keys. He was too busy reaching into the hall cupboard for his coat.
‘I’ll say a quick hello to Mum while you get changed out of those jeans and into a dress,’ he said, ‘and then we’ll go.’ There was the sound of footsteps coming across the communal landing outside. Josh patted his pockets making sure he had his wallet.
Dee looked up expectantly as the flat door opened. But instead of Anne Coventry standing there, it was a suntanned blonde – with a furious face. She stepped into the hall.
‘What the–?’ said Josh.
‘Good evening,’ said Dee sweetly. ‘You must be Emmerson. I must say,’ Dee stepped forward, looking the woman up and down, ‘I’d never know.’ She peered at the woman’s crotch admiringly. ‘Not a sausage in sight! And these are very authentic,’ she squeezed a perky breast causing the woman to gasp in shock. ‘The only giveaway is the nose.’ Dee didn’t feel remotely guilty as she added, ‘It’s absolutely enormous.’
Emma suddenly remembered that she had a tongue and a pair of tonsils, and decided to put both to use. ‘Who the HELL are you?’ she snarled.
‘Didn’t he tell you about me?’ Dee feigned surprise. ‘How remiss of him, especially when he’s just this second asked me to marry him. However,’ Dee turned to Josh, ‘as we said earlier, honesty is the best policy. And regrettably I cannot get hitched to a liar. We’re finished. I don’t care whether you choose to go with Emmerson, or stay at your parents’ place, but there’s no way you’re living with me until our flat is sold. I’ll give you an hour to pack your stuff. Leave your keys on the hall table on your way out.’
And with that Dee turned her back on both Emma and Josh and, head held high, walked out of the flat, through the block’s main entrance door, and into the night.