Chapter Twenty-One
The three women sat in Amber’s car outside Madam Rosa’s house. For a moment, they were silent. Chrissie was the first to speak.
‘It’s quite a normal looking house, isn’t it?’
‘Why shouldn’t it be?’ asked Amber. Her sharp tone belied the nerves playing in the pit of her stomach. ‘This is Vigo Village. It’s hardly Harry Potter Land. You two look petrified. Are you expecting a Dementor to open the door and suck the souls from our bodies?’
‘Don’t say that,’ said Dee with a shiver.
Three pairs of eyes stared at Madam Rosa’s house. It was a bog-standard Seventies oblong with PVC windows. A single hanging basket of winter pansies brightened up the otherwise unremarkable property. The front lawn was sprinkled with damp decaying leaves from next door’s overhanging branches. A cat appeared from round one corner of the house and minced over to the front door. It sat down patiently on the outside mat, curling its tail over its paws.
‘A black cat,’ said Chrissie.
‘Wow, there’s no stopping your powers of observation this morning,’ said Amber sarcastically.
‘Witches have black cats,’ said Dee. ‘They’re called familiars. They’re meant to be demons that occupy an animal’s body.’
‘Stop it,’ said Chrissie with a shudder.
‘What are you both like?’ Amber snorted. ‘Right, if the two of you want to sit in the car while I go in, that’s up to you. But I’m here for a reading. I want to know when Matthew is going to behave like the boyfriend I fell in love with.’
Her words had a galvanising effect on Chrissie and Dee. Seconds later they were standing on Madam Rosa’s welcome mat, with the cat giving them the once-over. It had unblinking green eyes which, privately, they each found unsettling.
‘Ready?’ asked Amber. Chrissie and Dee nodded, and Amber rang the doorbell. Madam Rosa opened the door almost immediately. The cat sprang in front of the three women, then nearly tripped them up by doing a full stop in front of Madam Rosa. Purring like a kettle drum, it began weaving around her jeaned legs.
‘Come in,’ Madam Rosa trilled. She bent down and picked up the cat. ‘I’d better pop this chap away so he doesn’t disturb us.’
Amber put out a hand to stroke the cat. It hissed and tried to swipe her with one paw. ‘Oh!’ She let out an involuntary cry. ‘Doesn’t he like strangers?’
‘It depends what vibe they’re giving off,’ said Madam Rosa. ‘Merlin is a very complex creature.’
Chrissie and Dee looked at each other. Their thought processes were almost telepathic.
Merlin? said Chrissie’s expression.
Familiar! Dee silently replied.
Amber was ruffled. ‘I have a cat,’ she said defensively, ‘and he loves all visitors. He’s never hissed at anybody in his life. Not even the vet.’ She didn’t know why she felt the need to justify herself because this woman’s stupid pet had taken a dislike to her.
‘Ah, but your Mister Tomkin isn’t subjected to a mish-mash of human energies every day,’ explained Madam Rosa. Amber was about to say that Mister Tomkin wouldn’t hiss even if the entire combined households of Downing Street and Buckingham Palace walked through her front door, when she realised Madam Rosa had referred to Mister Tomkin by name. How had she known that? Had Amber perhaps mentioned it during the reading at Cougar Kate’s house? But before she could ask the question, the clairvoyant was ushering them into her front room. ‘Please, sit down while I shut Merlin away.’
Amber followed Chrissie and Dee into a neat lounge. She was feeling somewhat prickly after the cat having a go at her. Chrissie and Dee sat down on a long sofa, so Amber joined them. While the other two women sat back and relaxed, Amber merely perched. She presumed the lounge doubled as a waiting room and each reading would take place elsewhere.
Madam Rosa returned and sat in a nearby armchair.
‘Before we start,’ she said, looking at them one by one, ‘I’d like to advise it’s pointless having individual readings.’
Three pairs of eyebrows shot upwards like synchronised caterpillars. Amber felt exasperation wash over her. She wanted to talk to Madam Rosa privately. She had some delicate questions that she didn’t want to voice in front of Chrissie and Dee.
‘I’ll explain,’ said Madam Rosa, looking directly at Amber. ‘Despite you thinking that I engage in marketing ploys, I can assure you that is not my style. I’m more than happy to take one-hundred-and-thirty-five pounds from you all,’ Amber felt herself squirming, ‘but that would be unethical of me.’ The clairvoyant’s gaze moved away from Amber, who exhaled with relief. What was it about this woman that unsettled her so?
‘Why are you suggesting a shared reading?’ asked Chrissie timidly.
‘As soon as I opened the door, I could see the three of you have the same problem. If I do individual readings, you will make comparisons afterwards and say you’ve been given regurgitated codswallop.’ Amber gave a little gasp and quickly turned it into a cough. ‘Therefore, it’s better I address the three of you together. I’ll charge a flat fee of forty-five pounds so nobody thinks they’re being ripped off.’ Her gaze strayed to Amber again, who had the grace to turn pink.
‘How do you know we all have the same problem?’ asked Dee.
‘I know everything,’ said Madam Rosa simply.
‘Will Donald Trump cause World War Three?’ blurted Chrissie, causing Amber to roll her eyes.
‘I think we’ll leave politics to the politicians,’ said Madam Rosa with a wry smile, ‘and stick to the immediate difficulties that need examining. I can see from your matching auras there is heartache and…not to put too fine a point on it…man trouble.’
‘I did have man trouble,’ said Chrissie, ‘but things are on the up now.’
‘Hmm,’ said Madam Rosa, ‘I’m not so sure about that.’ She leant forward, reaching one hand out to the coffee table between them, and opened a tucked away drawer. She extracted a pack of tarot cards. Amber regarded them through suspicious eyes, Chrissie visibly gulped, and Dee looked like she wanted to jump on the sofa and wave a crucifix about. ‘I’m going to shuffle the pack, cut them, and then you will each choose one card.’ The fortune teller began quickly sliding the cards over one another. Amber scrutinised the hand shuffling like somebody trying to catch a magician out. Both Dee and Chrissie were leaning forward now, apprehension etched on their faces. The clairvoyant cut the cards, before slapping them down on the table. Like a pianist running a finger from the top to the bottom of the ivories, she swiftly spread the cards into a long line. Madam Rosa looked up at Amber. ‘You first. Pick one.’
‘Oh. Er, right.’ Amber stood up. She wanted to choose carefully, rather than reach for the nearest card. Also, there was no way she was having Madam Rosa somehow knowing what picture card was at her end of the sofa. She walked around the coffee table and selected the very last card at the farthest end of the spread.
‘Show me,’ said Madam Rosa.
Amber flipped the card over so its picture was facing everyone. Like a magician’s assistant she moved the card from side to side, so everybody could have a look. ‘Seems like a pair of lovers to me,’ she beamed.
‘The two of cups,’ said Madam Rosa. ‘This card signifies emotional connections and bonds between two people.’
‘Brilliant,’ said Amber, exhaling with relief.
‘However, your two of cups is reversed.’
‘Eh?’ Amber peered at the card. ‘Oh, sorry.’ She turned it upright.
‘I’m afraid that won’t change the significance of your reading,’ said Madam Rosa quietly. ‘In this case the two of cups reflects the end of a relationship.’
Amber blanched. ‘Rubbish,’ she snapped.
‘Let’s double check. Take another card.’
Amber looked from the cards to Madam Rosa, and then back to the cards. Her hand hovered, then she flicked it away like a keyboard player performing staccato notes. She stalked around the coffee table, this time selecting the very first card. Grabbing it, she had a private peek. It showed three upside-down women dancing in a circle. In their hands were golden goblets upraised in a toast of joy. She relaxed slightly and showed the card to everybody. ‘It’s us getting sozzled,’ Amber joked to Chrissie and Dee.
‘Ah,’ said Madam Rosa, ‘the Three of Cups reversed.’ Her whole tone signified that a cold bucket of water was about to be poured over Amber’s interpretation of three friends having a boozy time. ‘I always see this card where there is a love triangle, or an unfaithful partner.’
Suddenly Amber’s legs felt very wobbly. She sat down abruptly. ‘No!’ she protested.
‘Now, if this is not what you signed up for, then unfortunately it will lead to the end of your relationship. You need to tell your fella very precisely what you will and won’t stand for. If you’re happy to turn a blind eye, then he’ll simply do what a lot of men do. That old cliché having your cake and eating it is never truer.’
‘Who is she?’ Amber croaked.
‘That I cannot say.’
‘Why not? You told us you knew everything.’
‘It is not appropriate for me to tell you.’
‘Not app–?’
‘Sorry. There is an element of past life karma involved here, and karma has to take its course.’
‘Stuff chuffing karma,’ Amber spluttered. ‘I want to know who she is. If some invisible force is whispering names in your ear, then I demand it tell me.’ Amber’s voice had shot up an octave. She looked very pale, and was visibly trembling. Dee and Chrissie watched the verbal exchange in stunned silence. Their eyes flicked from Amber to Madam Rosa and then back to Amber like Wimbledon spectators.
‘Spirit is not telling me this woman’s name. Currently, it’s not permitted. However, you will find out in due course. And quite soon. It’s important you remain calm and composed. Serenity is your weapon in this instance.’
‘Are you having a laugh? When I find out who she is, she’ll be lucky I don’t pull her fingernails out one by one and stab her treacherous heart with the biggest kitchen knife in my drawer.’
‘Quite,’ murmured Madam Rosa, ‘which is partially why Spirit won’t tell me her name. You need time to calm down. It’s no good acting in a moment of hot-headed anger, or you’ll end up cooling down for the next fifty years in a prison cell. I will examine your future shortly. For now, I need to deal with your friends.’ Madam Rosa switched her attention to Dee. ‘Take a card,’ she invited.
‘Don’t Amber’s cards need to be returned to the pack?’ asked Dee.
‘No. There are others which convey the same message, if necessary.’
‘Right,’ said Dee apprehensively, although she was secretly relieved the Two and Three of Cups were out of the equation. She certainly didn’t want to be told anything adverse about her and Josh, or that a third person was crowding their relationship. She leant forward. From her position, the cards were all easily within reach. She put out a tentative hand and held it directly over one in front of her. She dithered. What if it was a bad card? She moved her hand slowly to the left. Five cards along. Six. Now seven. Then back again in the other direction. She paused and then started heading towards the left again. And hesitated. This was ridiculous. How long did it take to select one measly card? Like a pendulum, her arm swung to the right. Copying Amber, she headed off to the far end of the spread only to once again vacillate. For goodness sake, pick a card! Her hand gave an involuntary twitch, and before she could even think about it she was snatching one up. Dee straightened up and reluctantly showed it to Madam Rosa. Amber was straining forward to see, frown marks between her eyebrows. Chrissie on the other hand looked like a tense cinema goer watching a horror movie.
‘That doesn’t look a very happy card,’ she mumbled.
‘The Tower,’ said Madam Rosa. ‘Here we have a lightning bolt striking a turret which has burst into flames. People are leaping from the windows. This card reflects turmoil. A major shake-up. Just when you thought you were living with your boyfriend in a safe and comfortable zone, something occurred which turned the relationship upside-down. In this case it is another woman. Regrettably you are being confronted with major change. This card signals the end of a long-term relationship.’
Dee felt physically sick. ‘Are you sure?’
‘Let us confirm that. Take another card.’
Dee didn’t hesitate. Snatching one up, for a second she held it possessively to her chest. Slowly, she flicked it round for the clairvoyant to see. ‘I’m too scared to look,’ she mumbled.
‘You’ve selected the Hermit.’
‘Who?’ Dee peered at the card hopefully. It was a picture of an old man, caped and holding a lantern. Perhaps he was the bearer of good news?
‘Here we have a solitary figure. This card represents a time of isolation and withdrawal from others. It is indicative of being single.’
Dee gulped. ‘I don’t want to be single,’ she whispered.
‘Again, we will look at your future in a few minutes.’ Madam Rosa’s gaze settled upon Chrissie. ‘Your turn.’
As Dee leant back to stare abjectly at the ceiling, Chrissie leant forward. Unlike Amber and Dee, she wasn’t going to take cards from either end of the spread. Decisively, she selected the card right in line with her nose. As far as she was concerned, this was the logical one to pick. She showed it to Madam Rosa and Amber. Dee was still staring at the ceiling, so Chrissie laid it down on the table for her friend to look at when she’d finished communing with either God or the clairvoyant’s light fitting.
‘The Five of Pentacles,’ said Madam Rosa. ‘Two destitute figures walk in the snow, shut out from a church even though they need a helping hand. This symbolises your relationship. You are “shut out” from your boyfriend and his circle of friends, and also experiencing financial loss. I suspect your boyfriend has borrowed a lot of money, if not from you then someone else.’
‘That can’t be right,’ said Chrissie hastily. She was desperate to ingratiate Andrew with Madam Rosa. ‘He did get into a spot of bother recently, but I think it’s all sorted. He’s been working really hard. There was plenty of money in his wallet earlier.’
‘This card indicates failure and loss. Any monies your boyfriend has will be a matter of dispute with you.’
Chrissie thought of Andrew doing dodgy stuff behind her back. She didn’t want to be reminded. Her brain instantly blocked the memory. However, there was no escaping the amount of money she’d seen earlier in Andrew’s wallet. It was considerable for only a few simple electrical jobs. She swallowed nervously, hoping Madam Rosa couldn’t laser beam into her mind. She would be so ashamed if Amber and Dee found out.
‘Take another card,’ the clairvoyant invited.
Without hesitating, Chrissie took the neighbouring card to the one she’d first picked.
‘The Ten of Pentacles reversed. Your relationship is coming to an end. Again, money is key. You will be counting the pennies as you try and re-establish a place you can call home.’
‘Oh,’ was all Chrissie could say.
‘Don’t despair, girls,’ said Madam Rosa. ‘I do see bright and happy futures for the three of you. Let’s select some fresh cards. First, let me put back the cards you originally chose and give the pack another shuffle.’ Once again, the cards were flipped backwards and forwards under Madam Rosa’s long slim fingers, then cut and spread across the coffee table. She turned to Amber. ‘Back to you.’
Amber wasn’t really up for continuing this fortune telling game. Predicting the future would be hearsay on Madam Rosa’s part. Nobody could tell someone what was going to happen tomorrow, next week, month or year. Not unless it was very obvious. She had a sudden mental image of saying to Matthew, “I can see the future. Want to know what you’re having for tea tomorrow? Pork chops. It’s true. Go and check the fridge.” No, there were other ways of unearthing the truth without resorting to tarot cards and auras. She could always ring up Jeremy Kyle and get his help. She’d insist Matthew be wired up to one of those lie-detector thingies, the result of which would be read out in front of a hostile audience. Everyone would turn feral the moment Jeremy proclaimed, “Matthew McCarthy, you are a liar!” And then Matthew would win Jeremy and the audience over by looking meek and saying, “But, Jeremy, hear me out. My girlfriend is a tiresome drunk.” The audience would collectively suck on their teeth as Matthew publicly shamed Amber about vomiting all over him before passing out. “Is it any wonder I have allowed myself to be consoled by somebody who smells of eau de parfum, rather than puke de toilette?” And then the fickle audience would turn on Amber, booing and hissing. On the other hand, she could simply wait for Matthew to come home, point an accusing finger at him and say, “Do you remember me telling you I can predict the future, and that you would be eating lamb chops? Well, guess what! I know you’re bonking another woman. And if you don’t fess up, not only will you be eating chops, but you’ll get a smack around them too.”
‘Amber?’ Dee nudged her.
‘Sorry.’ Amber brought herself back to the here and now. She didn’t bother getting up and analysing the spread of cards from every angle. She simply leant forward and grabbed the first card her eyes fell upon. ‘The Ace of Cups,’ she said in a dull voice.
‘Wonderful,’ purred Madam Rosa. ‘And now select one more to give me a little more information.’ Listlessly, Amber picked another card and showed it to everybody. ‘Marvellous, and as I thought,’ said Madam Rosa. ‘Basically, the first card heralds the beginning of a new love relationship. Your second card, the Ace of Wands, signifies this is going to be a passionate affair that takes off with speed.’ And then Madam Rosa did something she hadn’t done with any of them so far. She smiled. Her whole face transformed into an expression of genuine warmth and delight. ‘You’re going to fall head over heels in love, and will look back on this period of your life with disbelief that you put up with nonsense for so long.’ She turned to Dee. ‘Let’s see what the cards say for you.’
Amber sank back into the sofa. Her head felt heavy with an overload of thoughts. Everything was going round and round, like an adrenalised goldfish swimming in a bowl of energy drink.
Dee shifted forward and contemplated the spread. ‘Shall I pick two cards?’
‘Not yet. It may be that your initial card tells me everything.’
Dee made her selection. ‘The Ten of Cups.’
‘Fantastic,’ said Madam Rosa, beaming with delight. ‘This card often appears for singletons with no apparent build-up at all. It is always quite literal – a new love relationship arrives and takes off at the rate of knots. This is usually the “sweep you off your feet” variety where love walks in unannounced and everything clicks. That’s brilliant. You deserve a lucky break. This will be happening quite soon. I don’t need you to pick a second card because this one has said it all.’
‘Thank you,’ said Dee quietly. She didn’t want somebody new. She wanted Joshua Coventry. How many times had she practised writing Dee Coventry with a swirly flourish? Too many times. And, if this clairvoyant was right, she would never get to legitimately scribble that signature over any document – least of all a marriage certificate.
‘Finally,’ said Madam Rosa, turning to Chrissie, ‘let’s see what your future holds. Please, pick a card.’
Chrissie took a deep breath. As previously, she selected the card directly in front of her nose. ‘The King of Swords.’
‘Good. However, I’d like you to pick a second card.’
Chrissie selected the card directly to the left of the one she’d previously chosen. ‘The Eight of Wands.’
‘Wonderful,’ said Madam Rosa. ‘So here the King of Swords depicts an invitation for a love relationship, and the Eight of Wands signifies a very fast-moving time frame. Expect things to happen in,’ Madam Rosa considered, ‘two or three days.’
‘Two or three days?’ Chrissie blinked. ‘Are you seriously suggesting I’ll be resolving my current relationship, and starting a new one in forty-eighty to seventy-two hours?’
‘Give or take a few seconds,’ said Madam Rosa drily.
Chrissie shook her head. ‘I don’t do rebound relationships.’
‘I understand. However,’ Madam Rosa’s gaze swept over all three women, ‘I can state quite categorically that you must all put aside thoughts about rebounding. Three wonderful men are about to come into your lives. They are the real deal. Don’t turn them away.’ She stood up signifying their appointment was over. ‘That’s fifteen pounds each, ladies.’
Amber reached for her handbag and found her purse. As she counted out the notes, she wondered how she could tactfully cancel the invitation she’d extended to Chrissie and Dee. She was no longer in the mood for a girly night in with curry, Prosecco and a sleepover. What she really wanted was to go home, sit in her house with the lights off, and watch daylight turn to dusk while her head processed what her heart couldn’t bear to confront. And then, when the fading light had changed to nightfall and Matthew crept in, she would flick on a lamp, shine it at his eyeballs and interrogate him relentlessly. She was determined that before the clock struck twelve and heralded a new day, she would have extracted the truth from Matthew.