Chapter Forty-Three
A waitress showed Amber and Steve to a candlelit table in a discreet nook. Amber had already given the pub the onceover. There was no sign of Jack. She thanked the waitress for pulling a chair out and taking her coat, then sat down to study the huge tasselled menu that had been placed in her hands. Wow, what a selection of lip-smackingly scrumptious choices.
‘Have you been here before?’ Amber asked Steve.
‘Now and again,’ Steve replied.
‘With your mate?’ Amber teased.
‘No, not with Danny,’ Steve smiled. ‘Little boys are too noisy and fidgety to spend an evening in a restaurant like this.’
‘So who did you bring?’
‘You are so nosy’.
‘I know,’ said Amber, with a little shrug.
‘If you must know, the odd lady friend.’
‘Why didn’t you choose a lady friend who wasn’t odd?’ asked Amber gravely.
Steve laughed. ‘What would you like to drink?’
‘Prosecco, please. You previously told me you didn’t have a girlfriend.’
‘I don’t.’
‘At the moment.’
‘At the moment,’ Steve nodded, and turned his attention to the menu.
‘What happened to the previous girlfriends?’
‘They got fed up. Do you fancy a starter?’
I fancy you, Amber found herself thinking. ‘I’ll have the calamari, please. So why did your previous girlfriends get fed up?’
‘Because I have a little boy who sometimes impacts on dates. There are times when Danny isn’t well, or the sitter cries off. One girlfriend was particularly put out when we went to see Beauty and the Beast at the cinema and Danny had to come along.’
‘They sound like horrible girlfriends,’ said Amber indignantly. ‘I love children. I want ten one day.’
‘You might amend that when you’ve had your first one,’ Steve smiled. ‘Kids can be very demanding.’
‘I don’t care,’ said Amber adamantly. ‘I’d hoped that Matthew and I would one day have a brood. Anyway,’ she said, not wishing to think about her ex-boyfriend, ‘if you haven’t brought me here to discuss redundancy, what did you want to talk about?’
The waitress appeared, for which Steve was grateful. He wasn’t quite ready to deliver Amber bad news. The waitress gave Steve a full-on smile. ‘Are you and your wife ready to order, Sir?’
Steve didn’t correct her. ‘I think we are.’
The waitress took their orders, and directed plenty of eyelash batting at Steve.
‘She fancies you,’ said Amber, as the woman walked away.
‘I don’t think so.’
‘Course she does,’ Amber sniffed. ‘You’d have to be more myopic than Mister Magoo not to see that.’ She felt a stab of jealousy.
‘Then it’s a good thing she thinks I’m married to you,’ Steve quipped.
For the next fifteen minutes the waitress seemed to be permanently at their table, either serving their drinks, asking if they wanted more drinks, whether they were comfortable, too hot, too cold, bringing their starters, asking if the food was okay, whether they were ready for more drinks, was there anything else she could help with, absolutely sure no one wanted another drink, and all the while simpering at Steve until Amber lost patience.
‘Actually, there is something I’d like,’ she said sweetly.
‘What’s that?’ asked the waitress, her gaze on Steve.
‘I’d like you to leave us alone so I can enjoy talking to my husband.’
Steve nearly choked on his drink, and the waitress turned bright red. ‘Sorry,’ she mumbled. ‘I, er, of course.’
‘Handled with your usual tact and subtlety,’ Steve joked, after the waitress had gone.
‘She’s out of order,’ said Amber moodily, ‘and was really starting to annoy me. I bet she was one of the reasons your girlfriends didn’t like coming here, eh?’
‘Honestly, I’ve never had that happen to me before,’ Steve replied, but his eyes were twinkling.
‘I don’t believe you. Did your little boy’s mummy get fed up with it too?’
The sparkle in Steve’s eyes died. He paused before answering. ‘No,’ he said. ‘She left for other reasons.’
‘She left?’ Amber’s eyes widened in surprise. ‘When we were chatting at the office, you said you’d tell me about it. Are you still going to?’
Steve hesitated. ‘I don’t want to bore you.’
‘You won’t. I do love a good break-up story,’ Amber mocked. ‘It makes me feel normal.’
‘Actually, I have a couple of break-up stories to tell you.’
‘A couple, eh!’ Amber raised her eyebrows. ‘Excellent. I’m perking up by the second.’
The waitress returned with their mains. She practically threw the meals at Steve and Amber, such was her haste to leave them alone after Amber’s complaint.
‘Mm,’ Amber inhaled appreciatively, and picked up her knife and fork. ‘Okay. Lonely hearts story number one, please.’
‘Before I begin, can you promise to keep it to yourself? I’d rather my private life wasn’t discussed with everyone at Hood, Mann & Derek.’
‘That’s really mean,’ Amber tutted, as she cut into her steak. ‘I was soooo looking forward to telling Jessica in Accounts.’ She caught Steve’s seriousness. ‘I’m joking. My lips are sealed.’
‘Good. Right, where to start?’ Steve looked pensive as he picked up his own knife and fork.
‘The beginning is good,’ said Amber dryly.
‘You’re right. Okay. Her name was Nina. We met at uni. We moved in together and, eventually, bought a house in Stoke Newington. We always meant to get married, and started planning our wedding. But then we discovered Danny was on the way. For me, it was a happy accident. However, Nina wasn’t quite so thrilled. Suddenly the wedding was on hold. She said she didn’t want to be waddling down the aisle. I was happy to go along with her wishes. But after Danny was born, for some reason Nina struggled to bond with him. She always said she felt like she was looking after somebody else’s baby.’
Amber took a sip of her wine and looked thoughtful. ‘Was she suffering from post-natal depression?’
‘It wasn’t diagnosed, and she insisted she didn’t feel depressed,’ Steve replied. ‘But she did change after having Danny. She said she begrudged being tied to a little human being who was totally dependent upon her. She hated being stuck in the house with a screaming baby. When Danny was six months old, Nina insisted she wanted to return to work. I said fine, whatever made her happy. Danny was thriving, it was just Nina who wasn’t. I desperately wanted her to feel the way she used to, before Danny came along. So, eventually our baby went to a local nursery.’
‘I don’t agree with that,’ said Amber, blissfully unaware of her lack of tact. ‘If I have a baby one day, I want to be at home with him or her.’ She couldn’t imagine another person caring for her precious child, or missing out on the first word. The first step. No way.
‘Try not to judge, Amber. Some parents have no choice in the matter and need two incomes.’
‘But you and Nina didn’t, surely? Not in your chosen professions?’
‘We could have managed on my salary. It would have been tight. But Nina wasn’t happy, Amber. She was miserable. And desperate. You have to understand that a huge strain is placed upon a relationship when your partner is continually in a place of despair. Nina hoped that by going back to work it might, in some perverse way, make her miss Danny…that she’d start to feel something for our child.’
‘And did it help?’
Steve looked at his half-eaten dinner and paused. Amber wasn’t sure but she wondered if he was composing himself before he next spoke. Eventually he looked up.
‘No, it didn’t make her feel any closer to Danny.’
One of Amber’s quirks – and not necessarily a good one – was the ability to see things only in black or white. Right now, she was struggling to understand the shades of grey. ‘Sorry, Steve, but I don’t like the sound of your ex. Not one little bit.’
‘I hear what you’re saying, Amber, but you mustn’t criticise. I can’t stress enough how bad Nina felt about this… inadequacy. She was ashamed. Appalled that, for her, the love factor didn’t effortlessly ooze towards Danny.’
‘Did she get counselling?’
‘Yes. And she also went on Prozac to see if that helped, although she insisted she wasn’t depressed. She was in her element at work. It was just at home she wasn’t content. And eventually she wasn’t happy with me either. She said she wanted out.’
‘Oh.’
‘Yes. Oh.’ Steve put his knife and fork together. The meal had been delicious, but it was always the same when he thought about his ex-partner and her emotional block regarding Danny. His appetite had done a bunk. He still struggled to understand how Nina and felt and, ultimately, her actions. ‘One day I came home from work to find her packing clothes into suitcases. Her stuff, you understand. She said she was very sorry, but she couldn’t do it anymore. She was leaving me and Danny. Nina stipulated she didn’t want any sort of custody or regular access. And then, with a suitcase in either hand, she walked out of the front door, and out of our lives.’
‘Didn’t her family intervene?’ asked Amber, shocked.
‘I’m giving you a potted history, Amber. I can assure you that family members, on both sides, tried to talk and reason with Nina throughout the entire period. They begged her. They reminded her she was a good mother by action – she looked after Danny perfectly well. They tried to persuade her it was enough, and better than our child having no mother at all. But Nina’s mind was made up. Eventually she cut herself off from her family too. Her parents were…are…lovely people. They’ve run the spectrum of emotions over Nina. From being stunned and appalled, to upset and angry, not to mention suffering terrible grief. They feel like they’ve lost a daughter, but can’t mourn her. After all, Nina isn’t dead.’
‘So what happened next?’
‘Suddenly I was Mister Mum. Both families rallied around. I sold the house in Stoke Newington. Nina didn’t want a penny of the equity. She told me to keep everything for Danny, that it was the least she could do.’
‘Gosh, that was good of her,’ said Amber sarcastically.
Steve ignored Amber’s derision. ‘To cut a long story short, I opted out of the London rat race. I moved to Culverstone Green to be near my parents. Workwise, I joined Mann & Derek Solicitors, which eventually became Hood, Mann & Derek. I take Danny to the village school every morning before driving to work. My mother picks him up at half past three. She looks after Danny until I’ve finished at the office. My son and I have a lovely life together, and I make sure weekends are devoted to quality time with my little mate.’
‘That has to be one of the saddest break-up stories I’ve ever heard,’ said Amber miserably. She put her knife and fork together. ‘That was delicious by the way.’ The waitress returned, grabbed the plates and scarpered. ‘So, what is the second break-up story?’
‘Ah.’ Steve wiped his mouth on a napkin, playing for time. ‘Well, the second break-up story doesn’t essentially involve me.’
Amber’s forehead creased in puzzlement. ‘So…who does it involve?’
Steve took a deep breath. ‘You.’
‘Me?’ Her brows knitted together. ‘I’m not following this.’
‘I’m truly sorry to be the one who has to tell you.’
‘Tell me what?’
‘You’re a lovely girl, and deserve so much better.’ Suddenly Steve was reaching across the table, taking both of Amber’s hands in his. Zinnnng. Amber wondered if it was only her experiencing electrical currents whizzing through her hands, shooting up her arms and making her spine do some very weird tingles. ‘You were right about your boyfriend–’
‘–ex-boyfriend,’ Amber corrected.
‘Yes, ex-boyfriend,’ Steve nodded. ‘You were right about him having an affair.’
‘I know,’ said Amber, none the wiser as to what Steve was trying to tell her. ‘I was the one who told you he was having an affair, remember? When you called me into your office to point out my typing had gone to pot, I told you how I’d found an earring in my bed. And I also told you how I’d gone bonkers and chucked all Matthew’s clothes out of the bedroom window.’
‘Yes, you did,’ Steve acknowledged. ‘But…did you ever find out who the earring belonged to?’
Amber was now totally confused. Why would Steve be interested in who the earring belonged to? ‘No. Why?’
‘Because I know who she is.’
Amber paled. ‘Oh no. No, no, no. You’re not going to tell me this is one of those horrendous coincidences where Matthew met a woman called Nina who happens to be your Nina and–’
‘No, nothing like that,’ Steve interrupted.
‘Well… what then?’
‘This morning, at work, I went to the kitchen to make a coffee. Two women were in there. One of them was discussing her love life. She said her lover had finally left his girlfriend.’
‘And?’ Amber prompted. She still wasn’t following this line of conversation.
‘And the reason he’d finally left his girlfriend, was because she’d thrown him out. Including chucking all his clothes out of a bedroom window.’ Steve paused, allowing his words to sink in. His grip on Amber’s hands tightened as she stared at him, the thought processes visibly showing on her face. Her eyes widened as realisation dawned.
‘So…so,’ she whispered, ‘what you’re trying to tell me is…Matthew has been having an affair with someone at our office?’
Steve nodded. ‘That’s why I sent you home. I didn’t want you finding out about it via someone else. Or having the likes of Jessica gleefully telling you. Matthew has moved in with Katherine Colgan.’
‘Katherine Colgan?’ Amber looked blank for a moment. ‘You mean Cougar Kate?’
‘Yes.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘One hundred per cent.’
‘But…but…Kate is a gold digger. She wants somebody rich. Matthew isn’t rich. He carries on like he is, with his Designer wardrobe and flash talk, and he earns a fair salary, but he lives way beyond his means. The reality is,’ Amber looked embarrassed, ‘Matthew is a sponger.’ She blew out her cheeks. ‘I’ve never told anybody that before. Not even Dee or Chrissie.’ Amber shook her head slowly from side to side. ‘What a stupid woman. She’s a lot older than him, and I know she did well out of her last divorce settlement. Financially speaking, Matthew will bleed her dry.’
Steve was studying Amber intently. He’d expected her face to crumple and tears to flow. Instead she was looking gobsmacked, but not particularly upset. ‘Do you want me to signal the waitress to fetch a stiff brandy? I appreciate this is a horrible shock.’
‘No. No thanks. I am shocked, but not in the way you think,’ Amber assured. ‘To be honest, it all makes sense. She made a play for Matthew at the last Christmas party, and ever since then our relationship has been slowly going down the tubes. He’s probably been having a fling with her for longer than I even realised. But I’m not devastated. Believe me. I’ve done all my crying over Matthew.’
‘That’s very brave talk, but it might hit you later.’
‘I mean it,’ Amber said vehemently. She was very aware her hands were still folded within Steve’s, and how it was making her feel. And even if Steve Hood wasn’t alive to the effect his touch was having on both her body and emotions, Amber most certainly was. Matthew’s touch had never done this to her. Not even in the beginning. Suddenly the words of Madam Rosa’s last prediction floated through Amber’s mind.
The Ace of Cups heralds the beginning of a new love relationship, and the Ace of Wands signifies this is going to be a passionate affair that takes off with speed. You’re going to fall head over heels in love and will look back on this period of your life with disbelief that you put up with the current nonsense for so long.
‘Are you okay?’ asked Steve.
His voice was full of concern and, if Amber wasn’t very much mistaken, tenderness. She looked across the table at their hands linked together and had a weird moment of déjà vu. Somehow, she just knew these were the hands that would hold hers throughout the rest of her life. She looked up at Steve’s face and smiled.
‘Yes,’ she said. ‘I’m okay. I’m very, very okay.’