You Promised
“I DON’T CARE!” I SHRIEK. “You have to know something!”
“Reagan, they just told you he’s still in surgery.” Ram tries to pull me away from the doctor, but I fight out of his arms. I barrel into the doctor, grabbing at his coat.
“Tell me something,” I demand tearfully. “Anything. I need to know what’s happening!” I begin to sob again, Ram pulling me off the man. All the doctor offers is a solemn apology before escaping my hysteria.
“NO! Don’t let him go back there! He has to know something! COME BACK HERE!” I scream fighting Ram, but he has me in a strong hold.
“You need to calm the hell down,” Ram grits out, his iron grip on me unbreakable. “They told us as much as they know.” I battle until Ram loosens up just to allow me to turn around, facing him.
“They told us nothing. They told us that he is fighting for his life. They never told us if he is going to make it. They needed to tell us he’s going to make it.” I break down sobbing in my brother’s arms. My knees buckle and he catches me, while I grab onto his shirt, gripping for dear life. I cry so hard I choke on my own severed breaths. This is not happening. Linc is not fighting for his life right now. There was so much blood. So many shots fired. How does someone live through that?
“Sis, you need to breathe. You’re having a panic attack. Please, just calm down.” He cradles me in his arms. I feel him sit. He’s probably taken me back to the waiting room. I try catching my breath. “Reagan, you’re scaring me. Please calm down.” But that request seems impossible. I can’t calm down knowing Linc is fighting for his life.
“I asked the nurse to give her a sedative,” I hear Roman say from behind me and I whip my head from Ram’s now-soaked chest.
“You’re not drugging me! Why are you even here? To hope Linc dies? Get what you finally want since you hate him?!” I instantly feel regret the moment those words leave my lips. I watch Roman blanch. “I’m… I didn’t mean that… I’m so…” I can’t even finish without going into another fit of sobs. I hang onto my brother as tight as I can, feeling like if he lets me go, I’ll break down and never recover.
I feel Roman’s large frame kneeling in front of us, his warm hand on my shoulder. “Reagan, I… God, I don’t hate him. I just wanted what was best for you. I’m sorry I was so blind. Please don’t hate me for just wanting to protect you. I would never want something like this for Linc.”
I take in a deep breath and lift my head to turn to my brother. It’s then we all hear the familiar shriek.
“What the FUCK?! Where is he? Is he alive?” We turn to see Andie, disheveled and barging into the emergency room. Roman stands to comfort his wife, but she pushes him away and makes direct eye contact with me. “Is he alive?” Her words are blunt but strained. She doesn’t want it candy coated. She wants the truth.
“We…we don’t know. He’s st-still in surgery.” I have to stop because I can’t say anything else without the fear of losing it again. I can’t tell my best friend that her brother is fighting for his life because he was shot trying to save my life.
Andie comes at me and we embrace, both breaking down. After a few long moments, she pulls away.
“Honey, are you hurt? Is this your…” She looks at me, and it reminds me that I’m still covered in blood. Linc’s blood.
“No…it-it’s not mine.” Oh God. Why haven’t they come out yet? We’ve been waiting for over an hour. They should know something. “Andie, I’m so sorry, he tried—”
“You stop right now. This is not your fault. Linc is a stubborn shit and he’ll pull out of this just to laugh about it. Have faith. We all just need to have faith.” I want to believe her. Hang on to her every word, but the shakiness in her voice and the wetness in her eyes tells me she isn’t even sure of her words. “I called Lana. She and Dad are on their way. Roman told me you won’t let the nurse check you out. Honey you were drugged, you should have someone—”
“Excuse me, Reagan Holloway?”
We both turn to see a tall African American male, suited with a badge hanging from his side. “I’ve already told the police what I know. I have nothing more to say to you people,” I snap, turning away when he halts me.
“I’m sure you have. My name is Drake Jenkins. I was the FBI agent working with Lincoln on this case.” That gets my attention along with Andie’s as we both whip our heads back.
Detective Douche, as Linc had him labeled in his phone, I’m assuming.
“You what?”
“Mr. Carter was working with us to bring down Louie Romero.”
At that Andie grabs my hand and tries hauling me behind her. “My brother wouldn’t work with the Feds, nice try. You need to leave.”
Roman steps up, looking ready for a battle. “You need to back off, you—”
“Lincoln was in quite a bit of trouble. Seemed like he was in town trying to run from it. Good thing for him, he’d already cut ties with Romero and had bailed. Bad thing is, his past caught up with him. We’ve been tracking Romero for the past three years. Mr. Carter hit our radar because stealing from Romero was enough to drive the old man from his secure environment where we had nothing on him. Outside of Jersey, we stood a better chance of nailing him. Romero killed a small-time drug dealer while here, Larry Brown, in a Dairy Queen parking lot of all places, and he was out for Linc’s blood, too.” Both Andie and I gasp, and Roman cusses.
Agent Jenkins continues, “Lincoln, being the reformed thug, made a deal. He would help us take down Louie. In return he would be exonerated for his previous illegal activities. Assuming he could stay out of trouble after that.”
I’m in shock. Andie is shaking her head. “No, I don’t believe you. Linc would never—”
“It’s true.” Ram steps up. “He confessed this right after Reagan took off. He wanted to make things right. Wanted out. He didn’t expect for them to take Reagan. He blames himself for it all.”
My heart breaks even more, knowing he was putting himself in harm’s way just to make things right. He told me he wanted to be better. But this shouldn’t have been the way.
When I first woke up in the dark warehouse, I was confused. Unsure why I was taken. Worried it was from an angry client. Someone who knew Holloway Advertising had a lot of money, so a ransom would be easy. I even thought Chase had something to do with it. But then that man Louie started talking.
He thought he would disgust me with all the bad things Linc had done. But it just made me hurt for him more. I knew Linc regretted his past. There was always such sorrow in his words whenever he spoke about it. His life growing up. The things he did to make do, people he hurt because he was hurting. The life he lived knowing he could be dead at any moment and welcomed it.
Then he showed up, offering his life for mine. Not caring that this psychotic man wouldn’t think twice about shooting him dead. He didn’t care. He just wanted me safe. And the look… The look he gave me telling me he would do just that.
I break down again. The echoing in my head of gun shots sends me into another attack. I start pulling at my hair, needing the banging to stop. “Make it stop. Make it stop!” I scream and Ram grabs for me. Andie begins to sob, while Roman grabs for her to comfort her.
Linc can’t die.
He can’t come storming into my life and steal my heart just to leave me.
“He can’t die. He just can’t,” I wail bringing my hands up and taking my closed fists to my brother’s chest. I feel myself sliding down Ram’s chest when he scoops me up.
“Shhhh… He’s not going to die. Stay positive.”
I wish everyone would stop saying that. It’s like the most cliché thing to say when someone is about to die. As if saying it means it’ll make the situation less glum. I want to be hopeful. I want to believe Linc wouldn’t leave this world without me. That he loves enough to fight. But the blood. There was so much blood.
I tense, remembering. I pull away from Ram, startling him. I look down at my blouse, completely covered in red. My arms are red, and my nails are stained red.
All I see is red.
“S-s-so much blood. T-There w-was s-so much blood. He w-was losing s-so much blood. How does someone live!? HOW!? He was bleeding everywhere! THERE WAS SO MUCH BLOOD!” I lose it. I start scraping at my skin, trying to rub the dried blood off my arm. I’m pulling at my shirt. I need it off me. I need to not see all this blood.
I start screaming.
Ram fights to keep me in his arms. I hear him yelling for Roman, but I can’t stop seeing red, the sound of gunshots, and the look on Linc’s face as he fell to the ground. I’ve lost all control over myself as I go completely mad in Ram’s arms. I hear Roman along with a voice that doesn’t sound familiar near me. I hear Ram apologize to me, just as I feel a small pinch in my arm. I slowly turn, seeing a nurse holding a small syringe in her hand.
“I’m sorry, sis. You’re scaring us. This is just going to help you calm down.”
I slowly turn back to Ram, one last thick tear flowing down my cheek. “Why would he do this? Why would he risk his life? Why would he want to leave me?” I feel the drug flow through my veins calming my body and mind instantly. I take in a deep breath, feeling my shoulders relax, the need to rest my head on his shoulders immediate.
“Let’s get her admitted and into a room to rest,” I hear the nurse instruct just as things, once again, go black.
“You can’t just take things that don’t belong to you, you know. One day it’s going to catch up to you,” I say with a grin as Linc pulls out a golf glove he apparently stole from Roman’s golf bag.
“Sure I can. I stole your heart, didn’t I?” he teases playfully before winking, causing me to blush like a darn school girl. Linc puts on the glove, and starts to perform a Michael Jackson skit. I bust out laughing.
“You are seriously ridiculous,” I say, wiping the tears from my eyes. He comes at me, causing me to squeal as he wraps his arm around my waist. Pulling me close to him, his mouth just a hairsbreadth away from mine.
“You, my little thief, are just as guilty.” He presses his lips to mine, then pulls away.
“Guilty of what?”
“Stealing.”
“And what exactly is it that I stole?” I’m very curious about his answer. I’m not the one taking Roman’s dumb crap all the time.
“My heart.” His brows furrow together as his eyes flicker with what I hope is love. All playfulness is gone. “You stole my heart, Rey.” He pauses for a second allowing his words to sink in before he continues. “Two thieves, you and I. Forever.”
I’m struggling with how to respond. His admission tugs at my heart strings, tearing open any doubts I ever had about us. He only speaks the truth. We do have each other’s hearts. We have since the day we met. I take in a deep breath, fighting off the tears. “Forever, huh?” I say, my voice hoarse.
“Forever. We’re in this together. For life, thief.”
I like the sound of that.
My eyes open, the fogginess in my head still heavy. I look around at my surroundings and realize I’m in the hospital. I must have been dreaming. I notice I’ve been changed into scrubs. My arms are no longer covered in blood. I lift my head which seems too heavy and then bring myself back down to my pillow.
“Sweetie, just relax.” I acknowledge Dani’s voice and turn to see she’s seated next to my bed. “Hi, how are you feeling?” she asks, her voice laced with concern.
It doesn’t take long before the reason why I’m here slaps me in the face. “Linc…how’s Linc?”
I watch as Dani’s face fights not to show emotion, but I know she has no game face. Her eyes fill with tears as she grabs my hand.
No.
“No…” I pull away trying to sit up but the dizziness wins out again and brings me back down.
“Oh, honey, he’s alive. It’s just… It’s not good.” She begins to cry. I stare at her in shock. I needed her to tell me he was out of surgery and waiting for me to wake up. That he was going to be fine. “He made it out of surgery but there was extensive damage. The next twenty-four hours are crucial, but the doctor told Lana that she may want to get his affairs in order. I’m so sorry, Reagan.” She breaks down crying, holding my hand. I can’t help but stare at her. My mind refuses to process what she said. Because he promised me. He promised me forever.
I tug my hand away. “I want to see him. I don’t believe you.” Dani jumps at my harsh tone. I don’t care. She’s lying to me. She’s been told wrong information. And I won’t believe otherwise until I see him for myself. He just needs me to wake up.
Dani wipes her face and stands. I refuse to make eye contact with her, but she nods, and tells me she will let my brothers know I’m awake and want to see Linc.
It takes a few minutes, but eventually a solemn looking Ram comes in to help me. I refuse his help until I realize I’m still too weak and need his help walking through the halls. Stepping out of my room, I notice Lana in the arms of her husband Roger, weeping. I turn away because I don’t want to see the pain, sadness, loss in her eyes. I say nothing while Ram guides me to Linc’s room and ignore him when he warns me about tubes and bandages.
When we make it to his room and Ram holds the door for me, it feels like someone takes a bat to my gut. All the air in my lungs escapes me when I see him. I wobble on my feet, and Ram catches me before I faint. I tell him I’m fine and request that he leave.
It takes me a moment to remember how to breathe. I grab his hand. No one could have prepared me for this. To see a tube helping him breathe. To see half his body wrapped in bandages that aren’t nearly thick enough because I can see the red staining through. His eyes are closed, but they look sunken, his skin so pale.
I want to be strong for him, for me, but I fail. I start to cry. I hold his hand to my face, hoping my warmth will help his coldness.
“Always wanting to steal the show, huh? Just wanted to be the damsel, didn’t you,” I say, trying to make light of this dark situation. I wait for him to laugh and tell me that he would look amazing in a dress, and that he would let me save him as long as it came with hero sex, but he doesn’t move. His eyes don’t open and he doesn’t offer me his perfect laugh.
“Please, just wake up so I can tell you how stupid you are for trying to play the good guy.” I squeeze his hand pressing a kiss to his palm.
“These doctors here think you’re not doing well, but I know you. Faking it for the attention. I know you just want to pretend you’re sleeping and let everyone confess how much they love you so you can wake up and hold it all over their heads.” My cheeks are soaked, and my words are interrupted by hiccups of emotion.
“If this is what you had to do to get me all sappy, then so be it. I love you, Lincoln Carter. A love so thick that I can’t even begin to explain the deep, solid emotion of what my heart feels. I loved you the moment you stepped into my life. The moment you made me feel like I could be someone’s forever. You made me feel that way. I want us to be that forever. The one you promised. You told me you were never going to leave me so just wake up, okay? Wake up and tell me more about how you want to take my last name, like the goofball you are.” I have to pause. I can barely see him through my tears and my chest feels like it’s going to explode.
“Don’t you leave me, Lincoln Carter. Come back to me and be my forever like you promised. Please… Please. I need you to wake up. I love you and I need—”
The loud sounds of the monitors interrupt me. I’m startled and look to the machines—his heart rake spiking—then watch as the heartbeat line quickly drops.
The machine plays a solid tone and indicates a straight line.
And that’s when I begin to scream.