THRALL

Hi, ARTHUR! We can’t help notice it’s been a while since you’ve signed in… [click to expand]

We know things didn’t work out with ALFRED, but don’t be deterred! Why not stop by the app and fill out a few more sections in your PROFILE, and see who else shows up on your radar? And if you find a potential match, check your REWARDS tab for a

few special discounts to help make it a memorable night!

Google Hangouts

11:45 AM

Arthur Quincey

Hi, are you there?

A. Van Helsing

Good gracious, that just made a sound on this damned phone.

Make it stop?

Arthur Quincey

Haha, oh, Van. I'll show you how the next time I see you. Which might be soon, I hope?

Ugh sorry, do I sound like a stage 5 clinger?

A. Van Helsing

I…don't think so?

Arthur Quincey

Good. Are you enjoying the iPhone? Want me to tell you the best mobile-friendly porn site?

A. Van Helsing

When on earth would I ever need to access pornography on the go? Never mind that. Feeling a bit nervous, are we, attention-seeking Arthur?

Arthur Quincey

Is this what happens when you date an anthropologist

(also not necessarily to go, just it's easy to hold the—maybe I'll just show you when i turn that notification sound off)

You do want to go out again, right?

A. Van Helsing

Yes.

I said I did.

Arthur Quincey

Sorry, I'm just not…the guy people usually want to see a second time. Wait, that makes it sound like I'm terrible in bed or something :/

(i'm not)

A. Van Helsing

The thought never crossed my mind.

So why don't people want to see you again, then? (And, yes, I noticed the implication that you have sex on the first date.)

Arthur Quincey

They're not really dates Van. That's why…okay look, it's dumb but can we make plans? Like, actual plans. That was the one thing I didn't hate about that app. Because people say a lot of things and don't always mean them

A. Van Helsing

I always mean what I say. And yes, of course, I would love to make plans with you.

Arthur Quincey

I have sex with people when I want to, Van. It's not about what date it is or whatever, it's how I feel and how they feel. Just…I don't have arbitrary rules because it shouldn't be that way. And yeah, I would have totally bent over your desk for you—hell, the first day we met, probably—on our first date, but it doesn't say anything about my morals.

…are you sure, after I just lectured you (I don't know why I say this stuff to you, I usually don't)

A. Van Helsing

Arthur, slow down, please. I meant no implied judgment about your choices. I simply noticed that you said people didn't usually want to see you a second time (meaning you only saw them for a first date) and that that implied you were not a good lover (meaning you slept with them the first date). I…thought perhaps you were attempting to underscore the disparity between your desired behavior and the outcome of our first date. Please accept my apology.

Arthur Quincey

Do I say things so you'll answer me like that? Maybe I do. I like it. But okay. Sorry if I overreacted. I mean I told you I don't really date, so. I'm not good at it, clearly. ANYWAY, about that second date, ahem.

A. Van Helsing

That is the textbook definition of attention-seeking behavior, Arthur. In any case, I do apologize if I impugned your behavior; it was not my intention. Yes, turning toward the second date. I am free most evenings.

I realize perhaps I should have made my social life sound rather more active…

Arthur Quincey

Hey, I do want your attention. I'm definitely seeking it, so. And I know you're not a dick, so don't worry. And most of my evenings are free too. Or are taken up by SM stuff I do for non-profs and wow, now I sound like all I do is work. How's Friday again?

A. Van Helsing

Friday would be excellent.

Arthur Quincey

So, I figured out what to do about Harker. Or, literally the last thing I can think of that might get us any information with Thrall.

A. Van Helsing

Oh?

Arthur Quincey

Yeah, but it feels…idk. Dishonest in a way. I'm going to change my profile to match what I'm reasonably sure Harker's would be (I mean I basically do keywords for people for a living, etc) and see who I match with. Then I'll contact the ladies who match on the app, with that chat thing, and ask if they've seen him/went on a date with him/etc. I was hoping you'd help me with the profile since you know Harker, and also I think your badass anthro skillz will come in handy

A. Van Helsing

"Badass anthro skillz" are undoubtedly what I bring to the table and I shall amend my CV accordingly. That's a good idea, if we are operating under the assumption that Thrall was the one way in which Harker had begun deviating from his regular schedule.

Arthur Quincey

You don't think it's—ugh, I'm not planning on dating anyone from the app, obvs, but I don't want you to think I want to? Like, I already feel kind of bad about finding this great guy to date because my good friend's brother is missing.

A. Van Helsing

Are you asking me if you have my permission to fake flirt with people on the internet, Arthur?

Arthur Quincey

…yes, Van. Yes, apparently I am.

A. Van Helsing

You have it, sweet Arthur. Tell me something that isn't to do with social media, your friends, or fake flirting. Tell me something just about you.

Arthur Quincey

I used to seduce frat boys into making out with me in college. and I seduced two of my professors.

I've grown up a lot since then.

A. Van Helsing

Why did you do those things?

Arthur Quincey

I've thought about it a lot, actually. Recently, when I started realizing how…immature my behavior was (not to mention how I could have gotten expelled, Jesus). I grew up in this perfectly "normal" suburban environment, right outside Atlanta. I realized I was bisexual in high school and the first thing I thought of was, "I wonder if I can get the football captain to make out with me?" (answer: no, but the captain of the basketball team, yes)

A. Van Helsing

So you derived feelings of self-worth from being someone who was so irresistible that even people who ordinarily would not respond to your overtures (straight men, or people in positions of power) did so? I understand that. Though I find myself needing to make sure you realize that it was not all right for those professors to react to you the way they did, no matter how irresistible you might have been.

Arthur Quincey

I was like, 80% less irresistible in college, believe me. And maybe they were like, TAs in grad school? I never did it to get a good grade, my grades were great. And I didn't necessarily do it to feel better about myself, but maybe I did. I should have started off by telling you something more flattering about me as a human than this, probably.

A. Van Helsing

No, I appreciate your candor. I admit, it puts me at ease, somehow, to know that you would lead with something unflattering, something that shows the ways in which you've changed. I admire it.

Arthur Quincey

I could keep making excuses but the truth was, I was kind of a shit. Tell me something about you now.

A. Van Helsing

All right, well. I have also had my share of being a shit. My relationship with David—the ex I mentioned? It ended because we couldn't get jobs at the same university after graduate school, but while he was committed to trying to make a long-distance relationship work, I…detonated it.

Arthur Quincey

As in, level 10 nuke explosion or small grenade detonate? What level are we talking here.

A. Van Helsing

Well, I suppose I don't know how to rank it with regard to nuclear levels (Yes, yes, I know it's just a figure of speech). I…loved him deeply. But, for me, the joys of being in a relationship are the small daily things that create intimacy. Bringing a lover his coffee because I know how he takes it. Smelling the skin of his throat and knowing it will smell different after I ravish it with kisses. Hearing his sleep-worn "goodnight" as I'm half asleep myself, too tired to answer. I just couldn't…maintain that level of love, I suppose, in the absence of those things. And so, bit by bit, I stopped trying. I got distracted. I let it slip away. I hurt him deeply in the process. I consider myself very, very lucky that he was able, after a time, to forgive me.

Arthur Quincey

That makes your thing about levels of mediation between people make a lot of sense. It takes commitment even if you're in the same place, though. Like, it might have ended the same way even if he was always there.

Wow, sorry if that was kind of…harsh or whatever

A. Van Helsing

I…thank you, Arthur. That helps. I have spent a long time feeling that, perhaps, if I'd only tried harder—paid better attention—I might have saved us both a great deal of pain.

Arthur Quincey

I did have one long-term relationship, my senior year in college. It ended when I moved here, because I didn't want him to come with me.

A. Van Helsing

Why not?

Arthur Quincey

Sometimes…sometimes someone isn't the right person, even if you want them to be.

I was definitely not the right person for him. I thought he belonged in Athens, back at college. Just like I left the basketball captain in Atlanta.

and you said David was married, so maybe you saved both of you a lot of pain by ending it when it was over?

A. Van Helsing

I can't say I put much stock in the notion of soul mates, but, yes, David and his husband are happy; David and I are friends, so it turned out fine in the end.

Arthur Quincey

I haven't seen or spoken to Jeff (the Athens guy) since the day I left. When I got here and started my business, I decided to freelance and I knew it would take a lot of time, but I wanted to choose my client list and have them be…interesting and diverse. I like social media because it's always changing (sorry, I wasn't supposed to talk about it ;) ) and people…aren't, a lot of the time. But then I meet people—like Lucy, who's never been anything more than a friend—who're like a storm of different people all wrapped up in one and I want no part of it. Hi, wow, again I don't know why it's so easy to say this stuff to you. I've never talked about this with anyone.

A. Van Helsing

Why not?

I don't mean to suggest I want you to stop. It's just that I've never been the person to whom others found it easy to confess.

Arthur Quincey

I—I guess no one's ever asked. Or wanted to hear it. I don't know.

A. Van Helsing

I want to hear everything about you.

Arthur Quincey

You study people, right? Is there someone in the—herd, group, whatever—that's like, everyone's friend, knows everyone, but is the only one sleeping alone away from the fire?

…wow I can't believe I just said that. Seriously, what is with me?

A. Van Helsing

Well, you are the social media expert, of course. But it sounds as if you feel that you connect people, but are not connected with them. You are the material of their connection, the one who introduces them, links them. It sounds like you're lonely.

Arthur Quincey

That's—huh. Huh.

I would have never—like, I figured bringing people together meant I was a part of something but yeah. I think you're right.

I guess the reason I tell you this stuff, Van, is you don't make me feel lonely

A. Van Helsing

You make me feel less alone, too, Arthur. I felt…rather ridiculous when we first met. You are young and beautiful. Charismatic. I'm…not very good at compromising in order to make things easier for other people. It's a personal failing, I realize. And yet, somehow you don't seem to want me to. And I'm not quite sure if that's…okay. It feels good, right, to me. But we don't know each other that well, and I would never want to take advantage. Not like those people when you were in college.

Arthur Quincey

Well, I'm pretty sure I took advantage of *them* but…I told Mina this, but I was into you after that first email Lucy forwarded me. Is that weird? I guess I'm like, so used to moving people around that it's nice to find an unmovable one. An unmovable hot one. And I'm not beautiful, but I'll accept "very attractive". And I like getting to know you, too. Let's try this—ask me a question and I'll answer, then I'll ask you one.

A. Van Helsing

I reject your fundamental premise about who took advantage of whom; if a child tells a parent they only want to eat cake, it is the parent's responsibility to deny this request, even if the child begs for it. I won't change my mind on this front. But moving on. I think you are beautiful, but if you prefer "very attractive," then I will compromise on that.

All right, all right, I understand how conversations work, I really do. A question for you: You were very sweet and asked me a number of questions about camping and hiking on our date the other night. Are you really interested, or were you just being polite?

Arthur Quincey

I should probably say it annoys me to be compared to a child with cake but a) I like cake and b)…something about you being outraged on my behalf is really nice, Van. Thanks. But I mean, if you want to still call me beautiful I could probably learn to be okay with it ;)

Okay, so, here's how that works—I think it's hot as fuck you like camping and can pitch a tent and that you have a dog named jack. It makes me think of you like some rugged, competent, hot outdoorsy type that can MacGyver your way out of anything and save someone (i.e., me) but no lie, I hate camping. Hate it. Unless there's a cabin, indoor plumbing, and wifi involved.

A. Van Helsing

I am outraged on your behalf; I'm horrified that anyone I would call a peer would take advantage of a student in that way, though of course I am aware it happens. I hate that it happened.

You're beautiful, Arthur, no way around it.

Ah, well, I suspected as much. All right, then, I promise never to take you camping. Though I can't promise the same about pitching a tent (JOKE alert, Arthur!).

And now I believe it's your turn to ask me a question.

Arthur Quincey

I know! I got it, promise. I laughed out loud—like, for real!

You haven't said much about your family, are they back in Amsterdam, and are you close?

A. Van Helsing

My parents died when I was in college, and I have a younger sister, but she moved to Hong Kong with her husband some years ago. I wasn't close with my parents, no. Not because of any animosity; we were simply very different. My sister and I speak on the phone upon occasion.

I don't have any other family that I'm in touch with, really. But I do have a son. He's fourteen. He lives with his mother in Denver.

Arthur Quincey

…wait, what? You have a son? in Denver? Uh…you said you were gay, so how'd that happen?

I realize it's my turn for a question, but you can't just spring surprise offspring (surprisespring?) on me without explanation.

Also, I'm sorry about your parents.

A. Van Helsing

Ah, perhaps I should have mentioned this earlier? Yes, my son is called Harry. My best friend in graduate school, Jillian, wanted to have a child, and she asked if I could…assist her in the endeavor. I don't see them often—Jillian was never looking for a co-parent, and I wasn't looking to be one. But I told her that if Harry wished to contact me when he was old enough to know who I was that I was open to that. He got in touch when he was about eight.

Arthur Quincey

Um can I ask one more question about this or

A. Van Helsing

Of course.

Arthur Quincey

I mean it's kind of the obvious one.

A. Van Helsing

Does he call me "Dad"?

Arthur Quincey

…see this is when I can't tell if you're joking

A. Van Helsing

No.

What's the obvious question?

Arthur Quincey

To conceive children, usually you have sex. You told me you're gay, so did you…?

I'm bi, okay, so I'm not like, judging

A. Van Helsing

How are babies made, Arthur?

That was a joke.

No, I did not sleep with my best friend in order to impregnate her.

Arthur Quincey

Storks, Van. Storks.

I mean, you wouldn't have been the first even though I don't know anyone who—anyway. Wow, a kid, huh. Do you guys talk often?

A. Van Helsing

Jillian and I email regularly, and see each other at the Anthro Association meeting every year. I don't generally get in touch with Harry, but he knows he can always call me if he desires. He calls once every six months, maybe.

Arthur Quincey

That's…very forward thinking of you, Van ;) And here I tease you about the luddite thing. Tell him you've got an iPhone, he'll be very impressed. Your turn—I owe you about three answers by now.

A. Van Helsing

You're right, I should tell him about my new phone.

All right, my turn: What do you hope happens at the end of our second date, Arthur?

Arthur Quincey

I hope you kiss me so I don't worry when it's over why you didn't.

And I mean, I'd love to go home with you and meet your dog.

A. Van Helsing

I promise you I will leave no doubt as to the fact that you are very wanted, Arthur. And I'm sure Jack would love to meet you. Don't worry—he's very well-trained. He won't ruin your expensive clothes.

Arthur Quincey

You can do more than kiss me. I think you know that and it's probably making me look kind of desperate here but…yeah. My clothes aren't that expensive. I just wear them well ;) (and un-wear them better, just throwing that out there)

A. Van Helsing

Don't worry, Arthur.

Arthur Quincey

I'm not—okay. I won't :) I'll email you this profile for Harker if you wouldn't mind helping me this week. I want our date to…not involve my friend's missing brother

A. Van Helsing

Excellent plan; I appreciate your time management skills.

And, Arthur?

Arthur Quincey

Yes, Van?

A. Van Helsing

I'm very much looking forward to our date on Friday. And to after our date.

Arthur Quincey

[Arthur selected: Me too] ;)