I quickly realized I had gotten way too much for dinner for just Jack and me when I had gone to the market earlier. But at the time, I had thought Simon would be eating with us. So instead of wasting perfectly good food, I decided to invite Hannah over for dinner. It was a great night. Hannah’s presence cured Jack’s blues over missing his dad. He thought it was so cool to have his teacher over for dinner, and I was happy to see him smiling and laughing the entire night. I even volunteered her to help out with the homemade Valentine’s Day cards she was requesting. Hannah and I polished off the first bottle of wine she had brought over during dinner. After Jack went to sleep, we cracked open the second bottle, and I was starting to feel it going to my head, but I still didn’t let that stop me.
“So how’s the book coming along?” I asked Hannah.
She let out an unidentifiable noise that resembled a giggle. My eyes widened over the sound coming from her, causing me to spew with laughter. Clearly Hannah had been feeling the effects of the wine as well. “I’m at the…” she leaned in closer and whispered, “…s-e-x scene.”
“Why are you whispering?” We both began to cackle once again. I grabbed the remote control and flicked on the television, working my way through the channels.
“What are you doing?” Hannah questioned.
“Trying to find a dirty movie.”
“Oh no, no, no!” She covered her eyes and shook her head.
“Oh my god! You are too much!” I shook my head, stopping at a rerun of Friends. “It’s safe to open your eyes.”
She slowly uncovered them, and I wasn’t sure if her face was a bright shade of red from the wine or her embarrassment.
“Okay, I’ll give you an easy, PG way to write the scene. Who’s the hottest actor you know?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“Of course you know…Matthew McConaughey?”
“He is nice to look at, but lately I’m preferring Ryan Gosling.” She blushed.
“Ah!!” I exclaimed, holding my hand up for her to give me a high-five as we both guzzled down another sip of wine. “Okay, so this is what you do. Watch a movie with him where he has s-e-x,” I whispered, mocking her.
She playfully smacked me on the arm and laughed.
“Let’s see, there’s The Notebook, Crazy Stupid Love…Your homework assignment is to watch one of those movies and write about it,” I slurred.
By the time the second bottle of wine was empty, Hannah and I were both bombed. “Oh my goodness. I need to go.” Hannah looked down at her watch.
“Are you gonna get in trouble by the mother nun?” I asked as we both bent over, laughing until we had tears streaming down our faces.
“The mother nun?” Hannah repeated, hardly able to get the words out before having another laughing spell.
I wiped my eyes to try and make out the name flashing across my ringing phone that was sitting on the coffee table. “Oops…shhh…It’s the boss man.”
We carried on once again like two schoolgirls as I attempted to answer Simon’s call.
“Yes, can I help you?”
Hannah buried her face in her hands, trying to curtail her laughter.
“Bree?”
“Yes, this is she. How may I be of service to you, sir?”
“Are you okay?”
“I’m perfectly fine. In fact, I’m better than fine, just discussing s-e-x and hot guys with Sister Hannah.”
“Bree!” Hannah shouted. Her face had bypassed red and switched to a bright shade of purple.
“Sister Hannah? You mean Jack’s teacher?” Simon asked.
“That would be exactly who I mean.”
“Umm…okay. I was just calling to see if Jack ever snapped out of it.”
“Jack is perfectly fine too. Sound asleep and happy as a clam.”
“Oh, okay. Good.”
“And what about you, Mr. Grace? Are you getting ready to go to sleep?”
“Ah, not at the moment, but in a little bit.”
“Okay, and just out of curiosity, will you be sleeping alone or will that dog-hating Barbie doll be joining you?”
Hannah’s jaw dropped, and she shook her head while Simon let out a loud chuckle on the other end of the phone. “I think maybe someone may have had a little too much to drink and is going to thoroughly regret it in the morning. I’ll see you tomorrow, Bree.”
“Sure thing, boss man!”
“Oh, Bree, one last thing before I go.”
“What’s that?”
“Did you tell Sister Hannah I was the hottest guy you know?”
Now it was I whose face was burning in embarrassment. “You wish!” I lied, causing him to laugh even harder as I hung up the phone.
***
The piercing sound of my alarm was like nails on a chalkboard. My head was pounding and my stomach churning. It had been a long time since drinking in excess had made me feel that way, and that morning I was feeling the brunt of it. After fumbling around for my phone on the night table, I finally found it and managed to turn off the dreadful noise.
"Bree, Bree, wake up it’s Valentine's Day!" Jack jumped on the bed, and my stomach clenched. Even his sweet little perky voice was on my last nerve this morning.
I slowly sat up and rubbed my eyes. Why the hell did I drink so much the previous night? I knew how red wine affected me. I placed one foot down on the floor, taking that first brave step out of bed.
"You look funny," Jack giggled as I stumbled around.
"Thanks," I whispered. I’d be good as new in no time…after I had about ten cups of coffee. I wasted no time heading down the steps and into the kitchen. “Jack! Jack!” I called out in a panic as I scoured all of the cabinets.
“Yes?”
I jumped when I found him standing right behind me, as cool as a cucumber.
“Do you know where the coffee is?”
He pointed to the coffeemaker. I looked to the right of it to find the coffee that had been sitting there the whole time I was having my frantic search.
“It’s right where you left it yesterday—remember, you had a cup when we were making the cupcakes.”
“Yes, that’s right.” My mind was a complete sieve this morning. “You’re my hero, Jack!” I praised him as I poured the water into the coffeemaker. Waiting for it to brew seemed like an eternity, but once it did, that first cup felt like I had died and gone to heaven as it went down my throat. I was suddenly beginning to feel a little more human again. "Okay, Jack, we need to get you dressed and ready for breakfast," I directed once my coffee started to kick in. I could do this job easily, even hungover.
"Oh, I can get myself dressed," Jack said proudly.
"Okay. Are you sure?"
He nodded. I wasn't going to question him anymore; anything he could do to help make the morning go a little smoother, I was grateful for. He ran up the stairs and into his bedroom while I slammed down the rest of my coffee.
I headed upstairs and poked my head into his room to find him fully dressed and ready to go. "Great job, Jack! Why don't you go watch some cartoons while I take a quick shower, and I’ll be right down to make you breakfast.”
"Okay!” he exclaimed, jumping off his bed and flying down the steps.
If I could only have had an ounce of his energy that morning, I’d have been in good shape. I walked into the bedroom and took a seat on the bed. Rummaging through my bag for my clothes, I reached for my phone when I saw a text from Simon.
Simon: Hungover?
What? How the hell did he know? I scrolled up to see if I had drunk-texted him the night before, but the last message was from two days earlier, pertaining to Jack. Did he have cameras in his place or something? I looked around. The only other thing I could think of was…I went into my recent calls and gasped upon seeing a four-minute-and-three-second phone call from Simon the night before, 10:02 p.m., at the height of Hannah’s and my drunkenness. The problem was, I didn’t remember any of it. I buried my face in my hands, wondering what I had said to him. Obviously, it must’ve been something out of the norm for him to pick up on the fact that I was drunk. I decided to play dumb in hopes he’d give me some clues.
Me: No. Why?
“Text me back. Text me back. Text me back,” I yelled at my phone.
My heart raced when I saw the little dots appear, signaling he was replying to my message.
“Come on!” My patience was getting the best of me.
Simon: Because clearly you had to have been drunk to say I’m not the hottest guy you know. There’s Tylenol in the medicine cabinet in the hallway bathroom. Hope you feel better soon! See ya later this afternoon.
“What?” I stared at my phone, jumping when another text from him came through.
Simon: Happy Valentine’s Day!
I shook my head, thoroughly regretting having too much to drink. I could deal with the hangover, but not knowing what I had said to Simon was going to drive me insane. But for the time being I couldn’t dwell on it; I had way too much to get done and not much time to do it.
***
I walked Jack in with his cupcakes and lingered around the classroom, waiting for Hannah to get done talking with one of the parents. My agitation was growing by the minute. Didn’t that woman know that my crisis was way more important than her daughter’s stupid wheat allergy? “Wow, you look how I feel,” I said to Hannah when she focused on me.
“Thanks, and how exactly are you feeling? Like you got run over by a train?”
“Yeah, that pretty much sums it up.”
“I don’t know how I’m going to make it through today, and this party,” she whined.
“Don’t get mad at me, sister—you brought the wine over.”
She placed her index finger over her lips and looked around before whispering, “Bree, keep it down!”
“Will you relax? But I do have a question about last night.”
“Oh, goodness, my head hurts just thinking about it.” She moved her hands up to her temples.
“Did you hear any of my conversation with Simon when he called?”
She nodded.
“Okay, can you please tell me what I said to him?”
“Something about him sleeping with a dog-hating Barbie doll.”
My face heated and the floor began to sway underneath me. “Please tell me I didn’t.”
“Okay, you didn’t. But you really did.”
“Sister Hannah, Sister Hannah!” one of the kids called.
“And so it begins!” She sighed. “I’ll talk to you later, Bree.”
What the hell was I thinking? Oh yeah, that’s right, I wasn’t thinking. I was too drunk to be thinking. So since I didn’t have any recollection of it happening, it didn’t happen. That was going to be my story and I was going to stick to it.