A month had passed, and I was feeling much like a fish out of water. As much as I enjoyed being with my family, I missed New York, I missed Simon, and I missed Jack. I had been in touch with the detective, and she’d informed me that they’d be starting the trial preparation within the next month. I was making myself useful, helping out Trey at his coffee shop, but was still yearning for something more. I had faced some old ghosts, which included a visit with Nathan’s parents, and was finally able to start eliminating some of the guilt I’d been carrying around for so long. My father was definitely serious about his retirement and had set an actual date of when the big day would be happening. My brother and I were thinking of different ways to make it special for him besides just having a party. I had met his girlfriend, Karen, and she and I hit it off right away. I was happy that my father had finally found someone special, but it was a painful reminder of just how lonely I was with no one.
“Oh, Trey, I need to take this call.” I excused myself to the back when I saw a New York number flash across my phone.
“Hello?” I answered.
“Bree, it’s Detective Lyons.”
My stomach always managed to drop at the sound of her voice. “Oh, hi, Detective,” I replied.
“Bree, I don’t know if you heard or not, but Senator Stevens committed suicide last night.”
I had to take a seat as I registered her words. “No, I-I didn’t hear,” I managed to get out.
“So we won’t need your testimony and you won’t be put through the rigors of a trial.”
I was overcome with a moment of happiness until I thought of the other alternative that was facing me.
“Oh, okay—and what about the other thing?” I was hesitant to ask.
“What other thing?” she asked.
“The charges against me?”
“You made a deal to cooperate with us to go after Senator Stevens in lieu of facing those charges, and we’re going to honor that deal. You’re in the clear to leave that all behind you now.”
“Oh my god!” I exclaimed. “You just made my entire day!”
“I’m happy to hear that.”
“Detective?” I questioned just as we were about to hang up.
“Yes?”
“Are you able to tell me what’s going on with Margo?”
“Margo?”
“Yes. My old boss. The woman who ran the agency. You had said I wouldn’t have to worry about her.”
“Well, Margo—or Inga Schmidt, which is her real name—is facing some pretty serious tax and bank fraud charges, and it’s more than likely that after she serves a lengthy prison sentence she’ll be headed back to Germany.”
I shook my head and smiled. Karma was being served in double doses that day, and I couldn’t think of two people who were more deserving of it. I hung up the phone with such mixed emotions. I was finally free from the life I was trying to forget, but I was also free from the life I was yearning for so desperately. I had jumped the gun and ruined my chance at a happy life with Simon. Part of me wanted to rush back to New York and beg him to take me back, while the other part of me wanted to try and move on, no matter how hard it would be.
“Hannah!” I spoke out loud and smiled at her name flashing across my phone. I was going 3 for 3 today. It was truly my lucky day.
“Hello there, stranger!” I answered.
“Hello, is this Bree?” The voice on the other end of the phone was definitely not Hannah’s.
“Yes, this is she,” I replied.
She cleared her throat and began to speak again. “Bree, this is Jana, Hannah’s sister. She asked that I call you to let you know…” She paused.
“Let me know what?” I asked. The suspense was killing me.
“Bree, Hannah is very sick. She has a heart condition that’s worsened over the past few months. She’s dying.”
I swallowed hard and tears welled in my eyes. My lucky streak had just come to an end.
***
I was on the next flight to Connecticut to see Hannah. The whole time I had thought that Hannah had returned home to take care of her sick mother, she was really sick herself. They had set up hospice in her parents’ home, and I was welcomed with open arms. She wasn’t kidding when she said she had a large family; all of her brothers and sisters were there, with the exception of her youngest brother, Brendan. I knew how much he meant to her, and I had only hoped that she had been able to say her goodbyes to him. Both her mother and father were understandably out of it, but her brothers and sisters acted like they had known me my entire life, making me wonder how much Hannah had told them about me.
“My sister just adores you, Bree,” her sister Jana said as she led me up the stairs and into the bedroom where Hannah was staying.
I stepped inside, not even recognizing my dear old friend. She was pale, her thin frame had wilted away even more, yet she still appeared swollen. It pained me to see the oxygen tube up her nose that was helping her breathe.
“I’ll give you two some privacy.” Her sister walked out and closed the door behind her.
“Bree, I’m so glad you’re here.” Hannah’s voice was weak.
“I would’ve been here sooner if I knew.” I wasn’t going to cry. As hard as it was going to be, I’d promised myself I wouldn’t allow that to happen. I needed to be strong for Hannah’s sake.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t want everyone to know, but I couldn’t leave this earth without saying goodbye to you.” She struggled with her breaths.
I grabbed her hand and gazed down at her. “Well, I’m honored.”
“Thanks for being such a good friend to me, Bree. I never had a girlfriend that I could drink wine with and talk about all of those things with, and it was so much fun.”
I smiled. “It was, and I’m sure when you get to where you’re going there will be lots of hot guys waiting on you hand and foot, and you’ll be able to say the s-e-x word freely instead of spelling it.”
She managed her best laugh. “You think so?”
“I know so. You earned it, sister!”
She inhaled deeply and it took everything in me to keep the promise to myself to not cry. I hated seeing her suffer.
“Hannah, I want you to know that you have been the best friend to me that I could have ever asked for in life. You accepted me just the way I was, and didn’t try to change me. Instead you made me see the person I truly wanted to be and helped me go after her. I wouldn’t be where I am right now if it weren’t for you.”
“Just be happy, Bree. You’re a good person, and you deserve it.”
“I’m going to try really hard.”
“I almost forgot.” Her voice weakened, and she caught her breath. She pointed to the shelf on the opposite side of the bed while letting out another gasp for air.
I walked over to where she directed.
“The books,” she fought to get out.
I grabbed the two paperbacks sitting on the shelf just as Hannah’s sister reentered the room.
“Jana, please tell her.” Hannah’s voice was barely audible.
“This is Hannah’s book. The one you helped out with,” Jana explained. “Hannah was born with a heart condition, and over the past year or so, her condition has deteriorated. She was well aware of her prognosis, but kept going for as long as she could. It was her dying wish to write a romance novel. Thank you for helping her make that a reality.”
“Her Saving Grace.” I read the title of the novel I was holding. The cover was done up in a soft pastel background with a single white rose.
“I have a friend who works for a publisher,” Jana continued. “I told him about my sister’s wish to publish a romance novel. He pulled some strings, and here it is.”
“It’s beautiful.” I smiled as I fanned through the pages.
Hannah mumbled something incoherent to me, but Jana understood her perfectly. “She wants you to read the dedication.”
I flipped to the front of the book and read aloud. “To Bree & Simon—may you always be each other’s new fallen snow.” My eyes widened, and the promise to myself not to cry was coming closer to being broken. I studied the cover once more, paying particular attention to the title. Her Saving Grace. It finally dawned on me how the title tied in with Simon’s last name. Hannah’s story was about us. “I can’t believe you wrote this about me…about us.”
“I don’t know—” Hannah paused to catch her breath. “I don’t know how either of your stories will end in real life, but I know how it ends in my book…and I’m hoping that it’s similar to what the future holds for both of you.”
I pulled the book into me, squeezing it tightly. “This means more to me than you’ll ever know.” The tears were now streaming down my face.
“Thank you for giving me such a great lead character to write about.” Hannah’s words were slurred.
“Yes, Jonathan, my friend at the publishing company said Ava was one of the best protagonists he’s read in a long time,” Jana added.
“You named me Ava and not Barbara!” I laughed through my tears.
Hannah managed a smile. Her eyes were getting heavy, and I knew she needed to rest.
I walked over to her bed, wondering what to say. How could I tell her goodbye, knowing I’d never see her again? “I’ll let you get your rest. You’re going to need it to fight off all those hot guys you’re going to have chasing around after you.”
“Oh, Bree, thank you so much for being you, and not acting like this is different than any other goodbye.”
“It’s not, Hannah, because I know one day I’ll see you again. At least, I hope I’ll be going to the same place you’ll be.”
“You will be, Bree. I’ll make sure I have a bottle of wine and save a hot guy for you.”
“Sounds like a plan. Just make sure it’s not red wine, and I’ll bring the chick flicks.”
The tears were rolling down Jana’s face. I was amazed at how well I was managing to keep it together.
“Goodbye for now, my friend,” Hannah whispered.
“See ya.” I bent down and kissed her on the cheek before she finally gave in to her falling eyelids and drifted off to sleep.
I was still able to suck back my emotions, even after Jana and I stepped out of the bedroom and into the hallway. We headed down the stairs and Jana gasped.
“Oh, Bree, I totally forgot! We’re doing a book reading next month. It’s going to be at a book store in Manhattan, and all of the money will be going to the animal shelter where you and my sister volunteered. We’d love to have you come and do a reading. When we set it up, we were hoping Hannah could do it, but I don’t think that’s going to be a possibility. It would be such an honor for her to have you there to read from her book instead.”
“I’d love to.”
“Oh, that’s so wonderful. Here’s all the details.” She handed me a slip of paper, and I immediately added the information in my phone, placing the slip of paper inside one of the books.
“Oh, here you go. I grabbed two copies from the shelf when I was upstairs.” I went to hand Jana back one of the books in my hand.
“Actually, would you be able to give the other one to Grayson?” Jana asked.
“Grayson?” I raised an eyebrow and Jana snickered.
“I’m sorry, I was so engrossed in Hannah’s characters that I call them by their fictional names. The muse for Grayson,” she explained.
“Simon,” I whispered. The dull ache in my heart reared its ugly head with just the mere mention of his name. “Umm…yeah. Sure.” I didn’t have the heart to tell Jana that the happily ever after in Hannah’s book didn’t mirror mine in real life.
“Thank you so much, Bree! And thank you for coming today. It really meant a lot to my sister.”
“It really meant a lot to me too.” I smiled.
I said my goodbyes to all of her family, and hopped into the Uber that was waiting out front to take me to the bus station. I waited until that old farmhouse was a speck in the distance before allowing myself to completely break down over the one woman in the world who understood me the most. She was my polar opposite, yet the very best friend I could’ve ever asked for. I glanced at the books in my hand and smiled. Hannah had created a love story on the pages between the cover, and unbeknownst to her, she had also brought out a different kind of love story in my life. A love that I never thought would be possible again—the love for myself.