Macy danced around at my feet as she and I waited for Jack outside of the school. Simon had taken the morning off and spent it with me, but I was still an emotional wreck over the unknown that lay ahead. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to smile or cry when Jack came barreling through those double doors, the same way he did every day, but there was something about today that was a sharp reminder of how quickly things could change in life. I loved taking care of Jack, and over the past months, seeing that endearing smile on his face every afternoon when he exited had become the highlight of my day. I didn’t want that smile taken away from me. I didn’t want Jack taken away from me. I had so much to lose, and it scared me to death.
“Bree, look at my spring flowers!” Jack proudly held up the colorful drawing in his hand.
“Did you draw that?” I asked.
He nodded, his smile growing bigger.
“That came out beautiful!” I raved.
He bent down and gave Macy a kiss on the head before reaching up for my hand.
“Miss Foley says we’re going to have a spring party this week for Mother’s Day, and all the mommies are invited.”
Suddenly I was brought back to my own childhood, and the alienation I’d feel every year when Mother’s Day rolled around. While all of the other kids had their moms there to celebrate, I would be sitting all alone, wishing I could be one of them. I hated the school for doing that each year, and I hated them for doing it to Jack now. How I had wished Hannah was still there; then at least I could have warned her of that and spared Jack the pain.
“Umm…that sounds—”
“Will you come?” Jack asked before I could even finish.
My heart swelled over. I was filled with mixed emotions, not quite sure if it was happiness or sorrow with just the prospect of losing that wonderful little boy from my life. “I’d love to,” I managed to get out.
The afternoon temperature had soared way above normal, so Jack and I stopped and got some ice cream on the way home. We even got a doggie cone for Macy, which she gobbled down in no time.
“Do you love my daddy?” Jack blurted out as we sat outside on the bench eating our cones. He took me a little off guard, but I nodded without hesitation. “Wow!” he replied in a loud whisper, a super-sized grin spreading over his chocolate-covered face.
I used the napkin in my hand, to wipe him off.
“Will you marry him?”
“Oh, Jack…I—I...”
“Well, you should, because then you could be my mommy, and then you could love me too.”
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I hated myself for not only putting my relationship with Simon in jeopardy, but also my relationship with Jack. He was much too young to understand what was going on. He had already experienced so much loss and pain in his young life, and I didn’t want to be the cause of any more.
“Jack, I don’t have to be married to your daddy to love you. I already do love you.”
His bright blue eyes widened in surprise as the sun reflected off his glasses. “You do?” he asked.
“Yes, I do. I love you lots, and no matter what happens, I will always love you.”
He took a bite of his overflowing ice cream cone and was now completely covered in chocolate.
I reached in my bag for my antibacterial gel and used it to moisten the napkin in my hand, doing my best to clean him up. “Turn that way,” I said, wiping the side of his cheek. “Good as new.” I patted the tip of his nose with my fingertip, and he smiled.
He swallowed down the rest of his cone and we stood up to leave.
I gripped Macy’s leash with one hand while Jack took my other hand, squinting up at me into the bright sunlight.
“Bree?”
“Hmm?”
“I love you lots too.”
I pulled my sunglasses down from my head and covered my eyes. Somehow I didn’t think Jack would understand why his words had brought me to tears.
***
I was emotionally spent by the time I had arrived home. Under normal circumstances I’d have said it was a good day. Simon had been clear that he would stand by me no matter what. Jack had proven how much I meant to him by inviting me to his Mother’s Day party. My life should have been perfect. But the problem was, perfect never fit in my world. There was always a monkey wrench thrown in the mix that kept me from experiencing that normal happy life that so many others were living. I fumbled with the key, finally managing to get the door open, startling at the sight of Margo sitting on my couch.
“Really, sweetheart, for the amount of money you pay each month for this place, the security stinks. All I had to do was tell the maintenance man I was your mother, and he let me in. No questions asked.”
“Get out now!” I demanded.
“Oh will you relax! I just want to talk.”
“I have nothing to say to you, and if you don’t leave right now, I’ll—”
“You’ll what? Call the police?” She let out a loud, obnoxious laugh. “Go right ahead. I’m sure that detective that’s been nosing around would love an excuse to get back here and pick your brain some more.”
I stared at her, not saying a word.
She stood up from the couch and moved closer. “Just to put your mind to rest, Jess is going to be okay, and I’m fairly certain that unlike you, she’s not going to hold me responsible for what happened to her. She’s a big girl who is well aware of the danger that comes along with the job. Pity it took me all these years to realize that she was so much more loyal than you.” She shook her head. “Does he pay you well?”
My eyes widened. I didn’t want to engage in any conversation with her, but Simon was definitely a topic that was off limits.
“Oh, Bree, come on, I just asked a simple question. Why are you clamming up? You should be grateful to me. After all, I was the one who introduced you to him. I will say this: I didn’t think you had it in you to take care of a kid, I’m shocked.”
My eyes widened. Simon was a topic that was off limits and Jack was even more so. “You shut your mouth where he’s concerned.”
“Oh my goodness, how things have changed. You’re like a mama bear with her cub.” She snickered. “Did I ever tell you that I’m not really fond of kids?”
I lunged toward her, causing her to take a step back. “Is that a threat? Because I swear to god, if you go anywhere near him, I’ll kill you.”
“Au contraire, I seem to think you’re the one threating me. I’ll tell you what, why don’t you go tell your little detective friend that I threatened your former-client-turned-lover’s kid and see how that works out for both you and him.” She raised an eyebrow. “Just remember, my dear Aubree—you want to take me down, you’re going right down with me, as well as your former clients. So think about that before you go running your mouth. It was lovely to see you, darling.” A devious grin spread across her face as she exited.
Once she was gone, I ran on my trembling legs to the door. Inhaling and exhaling, I tried my best to pull it together. Margo had played on my weakness, knowing right where to hit me. How I despised her and wanted to see her rotting in prison for the rest of her life. I actually hated her more than Senator Stevens.
I paced around my apartment, not knowing what to do. As long as Jess didn’t talk to the police, everything would be okay. They wouldn’t have any case against Senator Stevens, and it wouldn’t lead them back to Margo. I was in the clear. I would just keep my lips sealed and everything would be fine.
I nearly jumped out of my skin at the knocking on my door. Cautiously making my way over, I peered at the peephole to find Detective Lyons on the other side. God, that woman was relentless. I took a deep breath, intending to stick with my original plan and not say a word.
“I’m sorry to bother you, Bree, but can I come in for a minute?” she requested as I opened the door.
“Sure,” I huffed, extending the door and allowing her in. I led her into the living room and offered her a seat, sitting opposite of her on the sofa.
“Bree, we pulled the video surveillance from the hotel where your friend was found, and then we pulled the video from the night you passed out in that same hotel. Both videos show you ladies entering the room with Senator Mark Stevens.”
I closed my eyes and looked away. My plan to just keep quiet was out the window now.
“Bree, I understand your unwillingness to talk because of the reason you were there with him. You’re worried you’ll get into trouble.”
“No, I’m not worried about me at all! I couldn’t care less what happens to me!” I snapped.
She shook her head in confusion. “Then I don’t get it—why are you being so secretive about this?”
I looked down once again, trying to chase away the tears.
“Bree, there have been several other rapes in the past that fit the same MO as this one—all of the women refusing to talk—and after going back and looking at the hotel records, all of them occurring on the same night Senator Stevens was staying there for some political event. He knows exactly how far he can go without getting his hands dirty, up until now. We think he was bribing these girls not to talk. So now we want to hang this son of a bitch and make sure it doesn’t happen again.”
“And just how do you plan on doing that, Detective?”
“With testimony from you and your friend.”
I shook my head. “No. I—I can’t do that.”
“Bree, we’re offering you immunity in exchange for you testifying.”
I creased my eyebrows in confusion. “Immunity from what?”
“Prostitution charges.”
“What! I wasn’t—”
“Call it what you want, but selling sex in exchange for money is illegal in the state of New York. It’s not rocket science, Bree. All you have to do is tell what he did to you, and your past and any of your clients associated with you will be forgotten.”
“And if I choose not to?”
“Then you’ll be brought up on charges, arrested, and have a record. We’ll have to involve your former clients to testify as well.”
I covered my face with my hands. My worst fear was coming true. I was dammed if I did and dammed if I didn’t. “And it will be all over the news because he’s a senator. So the whole world would know about what I did for a living.”
“We would try and shield you from that as best as we could.”
“I’m not stupid, Detective. The media lives for this stuff.” I shook my head and took a deep breath.
“I don’t understand why this is such a tough decision. You will walk away free and clear. No record. No mention of any of your former clients—and best of all, Senator Stevens will get what he has coming to him. Who are you trying to protect, Bree?”
“The man I love. The man who showed me there was a better life than the one I was living. I can’t humiliate him by letting the world know who I am.”
“Bree, I’m sure if he’s as wonderful as you say, he’ll see you through this.”
I blinked away the tears and nodded. “That’s just it. He will, and I don’t want him to.”
She creased her eyebrows in confusion.
“He has way too much to lose, and I won’t allow him to lose it over me.” I took a deep breath, knowing what I had to do was going to be the hardest thing I’d ever done in my life. “I’m planning on going to California for a while to see my family. I’ll give you my number and you can let me know when you’ll need me to testify.”
We both stood up and she placed her hand on my shoulder. “You’re doing the right thing, Bree.”
“Yeah, tell that to my heart,” I sighed, writing down my number on a slip of paper and handing it off to her. “Detective?” I started once we reached the door. “What about Margo?”
She shook her head in confusion.
“My old boss, who runs the agency.”
“Oh, her.” She finally caught on. “I can’t tell you much about that, but I can assure you, you won’t need to be worrying about her for much longer. We’ll talk soon.” She flashed me a comforting smile and was out the door, taking my entire future with her by making me hold onto the past.