Our new room is half the size of our 9B accommodations with a fraction of the amenities. If I’m honest, this feels more like a prison than anything I encountered in the government facility. A cot for each of us, a small shower, sink, and toilet blocked off in the far corner. No bathroom door, just a thin curtain for privacy.
Vi cranks the handle to the shower and pulls me as close to the dripping water as possible.
“Max Dennel? Are you crazy?”
“We know he’s one of them.”
“Yeah, and he knows we’re not! What if he verifies we’re refugees from 9B?”
“We got their attention, didn’t we? He’s the best link we have, and it’s not like we can go searching door to door.”
“Sure, and if you’re in cuffs or dead, so is Kaleb.”
“He’s going to be anyway if we don’t get to him soon. It’s already been too long.” Desperation coats my voice.
“I know it’s hard. I know you’re hurting, but we should have discussed this first. You didn’t just show our cards, you threw the whole damn deck and we don’t even know what game we’re playing.”
“And when exactly was that conversation supposed to happen? I took a chance and I have to believe that Dennel won’t blow our cover. If he’s a spy, he’s going to want to know why we’re here. He’ll want to talk to us as much as we want to talk to him.”
“Then what? He has them kill us?”
“Maybe. Did you think this mission was going to end any differently?”
She scowls at the ceiling. “No, but I didn’t think we’d be signing our death warrants on the first day either.”
“We just have to figure out how to convince Dennel not to expose us.”
“And how exactly do we do that?”
“By convincing him that we can help.” I expect her skeptical look and lean closer. “We know he’s a spy, right? Whether he’s responsible for Kaleb’s kidnapping or not, something spooked him from his post even though his work wasn’t done.”
“Yeah, but if he’s responsible for Kaleb’s abduction, what could we offer in exchange for information?”
“Nothing. Our gamble isn’t whether or not we have anything big enough to trade. Our gamble is that he’s not involved in the abduction.”
“Then why did he leave?”
“Maybe he didn’t.”
“Huh?”
The words spilled out at the same moment they crashed through my brain. “We’re taking Emery’s word for it that Dennel disappeared at the same time and therefore was responsible for Kaleb’s abduction. What if Dennel was abducted too? Or what if he fled for a different reason?”
“That’s a lot of ‘ifs.’” She looks away, considering. “It doesn’t matter. You’ve already played the card, so there’s no choice except to see where it takes us.” She studies me with a hard expression. “Any other bombshells you’re planning to drop that I should know about?”
I bite my lip. “I wasn’t planning the first one.”
“What privileges did you lose?”
Kaleb glances up from his desk. “What do you mean?”
“That resident you refused to punish from Floor 1. What privileges did you lose as a result?”
“Why are you so nosy?”
“I just want to know.”
He sighs and his thoughtful expression gives me hope that I might get an answer this time. After a long pause, he leans back.
“I’m no longer allowed to leave the compound.”
“On personal leave?”
“For any reason.”
“For how long?”
“Indefinitely.” He turns back to his paperwork.
“That’s it? You’re trapped here for as long as they want?”
“Until further notice.”
“You can’t seriously accept that.”
Now he just looks annoyed. “What else am I supposed to do?”
“I don’t know, fight it?”
“You don’t think I’ve tried? Besides, it was a pretty cut-and-dry choice. It’s not like I didn’t know the consequences.”
“They told you what your punishment would be?”
“Of course.”
“And you still chose that resident?”
“What are you fishing for?”
“Nothing! I just…”
I just don’t understand how you could be so selfless.
“You need to let it go. I can see your fire igniting. It’s done and has absolutely nothing to do with you.”
“But it’s not right.”
“Yeah, and what is? Show me the justice in any of this.” He lets out a breath. “Anyway, it wasn’t about the resident.”
“What?”
“If it hadn’t been that, it would have been something else. They were looking for an excuse to ground me.” He curses. “Never mind. Please just get back to work. I’ve told you a dozen times to stop worrying about me.”
“But Kaleb—”
“Andie, work.”
I grunt at his stern tone, but know better than to continue arguing. Kaleb doesn’t share information. He distributes. I got my kernel, and now it’s time to tuck my tiny ration in my pocket.
Memories can be just as deadly as bullets.
I wake with dread pressing on my lungs. Past moments replay in my head, and I search, begging my brain to recall some miracle that will help me now. But each memory is also soaked with pain and longing as it’s yanked into the present. When the thoughts transform from what was to what I wish, the process becomes unbearable.
Instead of telling Kaleb to turn himself in, I tell him I love him.
Instead of letting him go, I block his exit and warn him that I’m in this whether he wants me or not.
I ask him about Dennel. I demand details about his time in captivity.
And I kiss him. Over and over I kiss him and strip the uniform from his body so I can feel his skin against mine. I run my hands over the scars that make him so beautiful. I draw him into me, unite us in the one connection they can’t break.
It’s all there, an endless loop of regret stuttering in my head because I let Fate choose and it chose wrong.
“I’m going to shower first. That okay?” Vi asks, already naked and halfway through the curtain.
“Sure.”
I turn my back so she can’t read my gloom. My head is not open for discussion.
Then, the images. No more fantasies, just the horrifying picture of watching his body jerk from the ionizer. Blood draining from his hands and soaking the concrete floor. The water tower, the…
“Vi!”
She jumps as I scrape back the curtain and interrupt her shower. I wait for her to wrap a towel around her body.
“The water tower!”
“Yeah? It has to be in an industrialized zone and—”
“Or on a remote residential compound, right?”
She stills. “True. They would need water as well.”
“I don’t remember seeing one with this building, but it’s right by a city. Maybe there are others farther out. Wouldn’t it make more sense for them to keep him in a compound?”
“Was there a water tower on our compound?”
I think for a second. “I can’t remember but that doesn’t mean others wouldn’t have one, right?”
“Maybe we should be looking at residential compounds instead.”
“We have to make a choice, Vi. Do we try to break out and go on our own to search through industrialized sectors, or do we play the game in here, working our way through the rebel leaders and their compounds? Once we’re out, it will probably be hard to get back in.”
We’re cutoff by a click of the lock on the door. Vi scoots back behind the curtain as I turn to the intruder.
“Food,” the woman says, dropping two trays on the small table by the door.
“Thanks.” I hope for more information, but all I get is the spring of the lock after she ducks out of the room.
“Did she say food?” Vi asks, still in a towel and moving toward the trays.
“She did. What about my question?”
“Mmm? Oh. We should try to stay,” she mumbles through bites of bread. “We’ll get information faster inside than out. Then once we get what we need, we can figure out how to get to him.”
I watch her for a moment, heart heavy, but it’s time. I need to trust her and right now...
“Vi, you said you’ve been to 492 several times. Why?”
Her chewing slows, and I sense that I’ve struck the nerve I’d hoped.
“Does it matter?”
“Yes. A lot. Are you one of them? I’m not upset, but I need to know.”
She doesn’t look at me as she brushes the crumbs off her hands. There’s a dense silence between us.
“I’m not a rebel.” She locks my gaze. “My brother is. I’m a twin, Andie.”
I stare at her. I don’t know where to start with the follow-up implications racing through my mind. “You’re a twin?”
“His name is Valentin. He left to join the opposition when we were eighteen. He was always filled with so much anger, so much hate, at what happened to our mother and the lives we had as a result. It was kind of inevitable.”
“And you went to visit him?”
“Yes. It was difficult, and I haven’t seen him at all since things got really bad, but we managed it a few times before then.” She quiets. “I know what you’re thinking. I know what you’ve always suspected, and I’m not going to stand here and tell you you’re wrong.”
My heart beats faster as I wait for the rest.
“Of course he tried to convert me to his cause, and of course I felt—I feel—the pull, but I’m not like him. My mother wanted peace. She didn’t want her children caught up in violence, to pay more of a price than they already had. I couldn’t break her heart after Val already betrayed it. I never chose a side, but if I was forced...”
She doesn’t have to finish. We both know the answer.
“Vi, why didn’t you mention your brother when they brought us here?”
“You didn’t give me a chance before you dropped the bomb about Cousin Max.” I can’t tell if she’s amused or angry. “Besides, it would have been just as risky. Val has to know I was taken, and I haven’t seen him in two years. I have no idea which is greater: his loyalties to me or the Cause. I doubt he’s forgiven me for refusing to follow him, for ‘doing nothing and letting the bastards get away with it.’”
“Vi, I’m sorry. I had no idea.”
She lets out a dry chuckle and returns to her toast. “Of course you didn’t. I wasn’t going to advertise my links when I’m locked up in a government prison.”
“Compound.”
“Whatever.”
I take a deep breath. “Vi, if Val is still in 492, he may be our best hope right now.”
Her gaze darts to mine. “He’s not going to help us.”
“I know, but—”
“No. I’m telling you, Val is not going to turn on his own people to help rescue an enemy soldier.”
“But Kaleb isn’t just any enemy soldier. You know that.”
“Yes. I do know that. But Val doesn’t, and remember how long it took for me to change my mind about Kaleb? I’m not even half as stubborn as my brother and Kaleb had to practically save my life before I gave him a chance.”
I look away.
Her eyes have changed when I dare to find her again, but it’s not helping. “I’m sorry. Truly. I swear to you, if I thought there was a chance in hell Val would help, I’d contact him, but all he’ll do is tell them we’re probably spies.”
From that point on, everything takes too long. Eating, sleeping, breathing become excruciating exercises on my patience. Kaleb has seconds and we’re taking hours to get nowhere. Vi has to fight to keep me from losing myself to my frustration.
“They’re being more careful with him this time,” she says and flinches when I turn my impatience on her.
“That’s our consolation? They’re torturing him slower and more meticulously this time?” My eyes clench shut.
“I just meant we have more time to find him, that’s all.”
“We have to do something. We can’t just sit here!”
“I know, but what choice do we have?”
“Val.”
“Andie…”
“What? I get it, but if something doesn’t happen soon, none of this matters anyway. Just tell them about Val.”
She stares at the floor, thinking. “I suppose we could take the same gamble we took with Dennel. Hope that his desire to find out why I’m here will surpass his temptation to give me up. Then we can try to convince him not to.” She lets out a frustrated curse and waves her hand. “What am I saying? We can’t. If we bring Val up now, they’re going to wonder why I didn’t mention him sooner.”
We’re startled by a knock. The door clicks to reveal the meal-delivery woman and another uniform we don’t recognize.
“Follow us, please,” the stranger says, and I try to stay calm as we leave the room. We’re not taken to 4 this time, but 3 looks exactly the same.
We take our seats as the guards leave and latch the door behind them.
“Maybe they’ve found Max,” Vi says. I try to reward her for playing along, but my mind is locked on a mission I don’t understand anymore. Who is Kaleb Novelli, really? I have no idea except that he did everything he could to protect me from the answer. Who is Max Dennel? Viktoria Callahan? Hell, who is Andie Sorenson? We’re all pieces, but no one promised it’s the same puzzle.
The creak of the door ushers us back to the present, and we wait as Rico takes his seat, eyeing us with evidence that he has news. I can’t tell if it’s about to be our beginning or our end.
“We’ve run your IDs and investigated your claims.”
He’s quiet again, his gaze drifting back and forth between our faces. I’m pretty sure I’m not breathing. I can’t even look to see if Vi is.
“Captain Dennel has agreed to see you,” he says finally, settling on me.
Air makes its way back into my lungs.
“Only you,” he warns, eyes narrowing before they focus on Vi. “As for you, your brother Valentin had some interesting things to say when we mentioned your presence in 398. He seemed particularly surprised you didn’t disclose your relationship.”
I try to cover my alarm. Vi only looks annoyed.
“Yeah, I bet. We weren’t on great terms.”
He shrugs. “Well, you may want to reconsider your grudge, because he seems eager to patch whatever it is. He’s on his way here as well.” He stops and studies us again. “You two are obviously well-connected. We’re glad you’ve made it to safety.”
This time when we’re returned to our room, the door isn’t locked.
“What the hell is going on?” Vi exclaims once we’re alone. “Dennel wants to come say hello? All’s forgiven by Val? We come in as enemies and suddenly we’re royalty?”
“It’s because it’s not Dennel,” I say.
“What?”
Our gazes connect, my eyes clouding from the impact of the truth. The horror. The suffocating pain of defeat. I can’t even make the words come louder. “Vi, this isn’t about a leak.”
“You were drafted, right?”
“Yeah, why?”
“No reason, I just want to know more about you.” I track the lines in Kaleb’s palm as he considers my question.
“I was seventeen.”
“That seems young.”
“It was.”
The change in his tone draws my glance, but he doesn’t meet it.
“What did your parents think? Did they protest?”
His jaw clenches like it does every time I touch on a subject he doesn’t like.
“No. They weren’t around to fight it. I was living with a relative.”
“I’m sorry.”
“What about you?”
I suspect it’s not my past that interests him as much as the avoidance of his.
“Just my mom and I until we came here. Pneumonia took my dad when I was six.”
“I’m sorry,” he echoes.
“I can’t believe you’ve been here since you were seventeen. Did they know you were so young?”
“Of course they did. They know everything, Andie.”
“So how were they allowed to pull you in?”
“Allowed? That implies there’s a higher force setting the rules.”
I don’t like his answer. I don’t like his expression. I don’t like the way his muscles tense every time I try to connect the Kaleb I know to Lance Corporal Novelli.
“It just doesn’t seem right, that’s all,” I say.
“And who’s enforcing right and wrong?”
“I don’t know.”
“No one. The answer is no one.”
He falls into a thoughtful silence. I feel his gaze on me, but I’m not ready to face his reality. “Actually, that’s not true. We do. You and I in our tiny worlds, our small decisions that define our legacy. It’s our only weapon against injustice.”
I don’t have a response except to shift so I can be eye-level with him. He doesn’t move away when my fingers trace his cheek, slightly rough from the late-day stubble. His lips are begging for me to touch them. His infinite green eyes drawing me into their depths.
“You’re just one big mystery, aren’t you, Kaleb?”
He smiles. “Only you think so.”
“That’s not remotely true, is it?”
His smile fades. “It’s better to pretend it is.”
“What are you talking about?” Vi asks after my bomb.
“None of this is about Dennel, a leak, any of that. This is about Kaleb. Right and wrong. This is because Kaleb knows something and believes he’s doing what’s right!”
“What?”
“It’s…” I don’t know how to explain four months of clues. Four months of small words revealing enormous truths. Four months that point to the only thing I now know with agonizing certainty. Kaleb is good. In a world of horror, there is one light.
“Kaleb was drafted early. Why? He was banned from leaving the compound. Why? He survived a horrific clash with the rebels and was branded a traitor instead of a hero. Why?”
I motion around the room. “And this. Why are we here? Is the government really sending two insignificant civilian women into enemy territory as undercover operatives for a mission? Please.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying they were getting us out of their way because this isn’t about Dennel. This is about Kaleb. It always has been. He warned me over and over again that I didn’t understand who he was. That he means something to them.”
Vi scrunches her nose as she considers. “Okay, and what are we supposed to do with that?”
I sigh. “I don’t know. What I do know is that Dennel is coming to see me because he’s not the threat we thought.”
She seems frustrated, which makes two of us. I used a lot of words and excitement on an important breakthrough that doesn’t move us any closer to Kaleb.
“How are you, Vi?” I ask, changing the subject to one my brain can process. “How are you handling the prospect of seeing Val again?”
“We’ll see, I guess.” Except her gaze flickers and makes a too-eager connection with her cot. “I’m gonna get some sleep.”