ISAAC
‘Smack, thump… smack, thump… smack, thump.…’ I watch as the punching bag swings away and hit it again on its return. ‘Smack, thump...’
“What’s bitten your arse?” Shelly asks standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame. I continue to hit the bag but keep my eyes on her. She’s lean, around five-foot-nine with shoulder-length auburn hair. She has a few freckles dotted across her nose and cheeks, her eyes are light brown, and she has a little gap in her front teeth. She’s pretty, there’s no denying it, but what works in her favour is the innocent thing she has going on. Nobody ever thinks she’s Black Ops and could kill someone in a matter of seconds—that little nugget of information has worked in her favour, and mine, on more than one occasion.
There’s never been anything between us, there never will be, but I have to convince everyone differently tonight as we attend Uncle Con and Aunt Pea’s anniversary party. Shelly is coming with me as my new girlfriend. I wanted to go alone, but Dad pointed out the farce that is our relationship has been laid out for everyone, so they will be expecting her to come. Only four people in my family know what I really do—Mum, Dad, Uncle Dane, and Tobias. The only other person who knows outside of my organisation is a friend of mine who got out of this life a year ago.
“Do we have to go to this thing tonight?” Shelly asks when she realises I’m not going to answer her first question.
“‘Fraid so,” I throw back, grabbing the bag and halting its swing. I walk over to the bench and pick up my towel wiping my face down.
“Shit, I hate this part,” she grumbles, picking at her nails and not seeming too bothered at all.
“You and me both,” I snap.
“Okay touchy, is it your time of the month?” she asks with a smirk.
“Just go get changed into something more feminine,” I order looking at her jogging bottoms and shapeless t-shirt, which is her usual attire.
“Fine,” she groans and stalks out.
I lean back against the gym wall. I had the house renovated and a brick building installed at the bottom of the garden so I could have a gym. The intention was to only come back for a couple of weeks, but that timeline grew, and one job turned into two. It seems the scum of the world like to operate in London these days. Lucky me.
Every moment I spend here I’m in pain though, needing her, wanting my Via back.
Seems like the Via who now exists isn’t the same girl I once knew. The short-haired pixie covered in tats, the one that has confusion mixed with pain etched all over her beautiful face every time I see her now, is a whole new person. She’s grown from the girl I knew to a sexy-as-fuck woman. I always held myself back from her, no matter how I felt. I never believed our family would accept it, accept us. By the time I acknowledged that I didn’t give a fuck what they thought, I was only given one night—a night that made me realise she was my future, a night that changed my life.
That’s why I need to introduce her to Shelly, and soon, so she knows I’m unavailable, but more than that, so I remember I’m unavailable. I’ve always kept Via away from me, she deserves more than what I can offer. I always hoped she would move on, for her own sake, even though she’d be taking my heart with her. No matter how much I think about her, I can’t allow the selfishness to win. I don’t want to drag her into my world.
Now I have a bigger issue in my head—her stripping. If I don’t get her to quit, then Uncle Dane will go to her parents. I need to convince her, fuck knows how. The truth is I don’t know her anymore, so I can’t press the right buttons. Via hates me, and I don’t blame her. After a year away, Toby said she was getting restless. She was threatening to visit me, so I sent her a note through him. He pretended I gave it to him on a prison visit. I remember the note like the ink’s still wet. Four lines I knew would hurt her. Four lines that crushed what was left of my heart.
Olivia,
Stop asking everyone about me.
I have more important things going on in my life right now.
You do you, and I’ll do me.
Isaac.
The note was cold. I even used her proper name rather than the nickname I always called her. I wanted her to hate me. I guess I succeeded and now she does, and fuck if those words haven’t come back to bite me on the arse. The problem is I’m conflicted. I’m never conflicted. I choose my path carefully and only divert if it’s a necessity. Via is an anomaly for me, not because I can’t control her, although she’s definitely not submissive, but because I can’t control my fucking feelings for her. My heart, brain, and dick all have different thoughts going on when Via is on my mind, and the damn woman doesn’t even need to be in the room.
I look down at my now-straining cock and shake my head with a groan. “Just thinking of her, and you’re like a fifteen-year-old boy again.” I scrub my hand down my face. “Shit.” Striding over to the single shower in the gym, I turn it on and strip off my clothes, throwing them in my bag. I’m only twenty feet from the house, but I always bring a bag to take my clothes back. Just outside the shower I have a stand which houses three small lockers. Shelly has the key to one, and I have another, which I keep a few sets of clothes in. The third one is free so we have it piled high with towels. Dividing the gym time means we both get peace in here. She takes evening and night, and I have free rein all day. I step under the hot water as the steam billows out around the room.
I only ever had one night with Via, but that fucking night plays over and over on a reel in my head, almost until I can’t breathe. Today, it’s settled on making my dick throb, so I wrap my hand around my girth and grant myself a couple of tugs. Closing my eyes, I think about Via, my mind’s eye decides to imagine her stripping and as much as I want her to stop doing it for other people, all I can think of is Via giving me a private show.
“Ahhh,” I hiss out as my hand glides back and forth. I rub my thumb across the head of my dick as the pre-cum dribbles out. My thoughts finally progress to her kneeling in front of me and taking me in her mouth. “Fuck yeah,” I grind the words out through gritted teeth as I slip over the edge.
When I come back down and open my eyes, all I see are the white tiled walls and the pain slams into me again, knowing that’s as much as I’m ever going to get.
“Well, you look more like a woman now,” I goad Shelly when she asks if her outfit is suitable for the party. It probably isn’t the best reply, but I’m still reeling from everything.
“Fuck you, dipshit,” she replies, and I chuckle.
“Come on, let’s go see the family,” I sigh.
“Will she be there?”
“Probably,” I answer. Shelly knows all about Via and she knows our history. Unfortunately, when you work as part of a team and do it for so long, you need to air all your dirty laundry and any skeletons you’re holding onto. It takes away any leverage that could be used as blackmail. She knows everything about me. And I know all about her. Shelly’s had a pretty shit life, and unlike me, she has no family, but she’s a survivor.
“Shit. What do you need me to do tonight? Want me to be a bad girlfriend or sweet and innocent?” she asks genuinely trying to do what’s best for me.
“Nothing.” I shake my head. “Just be a normal girlfriend… polite, friendly, all that good stuff.”
“Ten, four,” she says with a salute, and I arch my eyebrow. She shrugs. “What? I like her.”
“I know you do.” Shelly thinks Via has spunk. She likes her, and she hasn’t even met her yet. “Come on, we need to get going. The sooner we get there, the sooner we can slip away.”
“Whatever you say, love of my life.” She bats her eyelashes at me.
I shake my head. Shelly rarely jests with anyone. She’s as cold and dark as me, but when we’re alone, or when she has to put on an act, she can be funny, silly, and more like her twenty-four years. Pity we rarely get to allow that side of us to thrive. This assignment and being near my family has been the first time in almost a year where we’ve had to act like a couple for any length of time. Plus, on all the other occasions, it has been with strangers. My family knows me, even if they don’t know who I am now. It makes acting all the more difficult—not to mention Via.
Shit.