LIV

 

“That was brutal, are you okay?” Toby asks me, slipping his arm around my shoulders.

I nod. Right at this moment I can’t speak. My tongue is stuck to the roof of my mouth and I’m battling with my inner emotions so I don’t turn into jelly and sob like a baby. We’re leaving Aunt Libby’s funeral, and Toby is taking me to the wake at Mum and Dad’s house.

The funeral itself was beautiful with huge arrangements of white and pink lilies throughout the church. Dad and Aunt Soph both went up to speak, and my cousin Lottie read a poem through a deluge of tears. None of it distracts from the fact that we’re a tight-knit family, and we’ve lost a key player. My aunt was full of love and light, and now all I see when I look at my Uncle Dane is darkness. It’s sad… and scary.

I tried to keep from looking over at Isaac, but the few times my eyes did wander, I found our gazes collided. He was next to Uncle Dane holding him up, trying to be his strength, but his eyes were constantly on me. I’ve been ignoring it all, but I can’t anymore. I need to face this, him, us. Once the sorrow has lessened.

One thing I couldn’t help but notice today was the absence of Shelly. I know he said they’d broken up, but he also said there never really was an Isaac and Shelly. Who knows what the real truth is?

“Why wasn’t Shelly here?” I ask and feel Toby instantly tense.

He shrugs. “I don’t know.”

“They’re still together though, right?” I question. He doesn’t know what Isaac told me, and I’m beyond the point of worrying what anyone thinks. Besides, Toby is very aware of my feelings for his brother.

He smiles sadly at me. “Yeah, she’s still living with him, so I assume so.”

Coldness washes over my skin with the knowledge that Isaac outright lied to me.

“Come on, let’s get this day over with,” I tell Toby hurrying toward his car.

 

 

“You’re drunk.”

“Why do you care for my drunky self wiff my happy brandy?” I mumble incoherently in reply to Isaac’s blindingly obvious declaration.

“Come on, I’m taking you home,” he tells me lunging for my glass.

Somewhere between him stretching for—and missing—my drink, I become aware of the fact that he’s trying to remove the alcohol from my hand, and I make a snap decision to jerk it away from his outstretched arm. Sticky brandy coats my face, part of my hair, the top of my breasts, there’s even a little on my ear.

“I never knewed that glasses had so much alco… a-alco… alpocol in them.” I grin massively at Isaac, then try to extend my tongue to reach my chin so I can lick the drink up. It doesn’t work, and Isaac indulgently smiles back at me. I grab his chin between my thumb and forefinger and pull his face toward mine.

“You are scexy… I really want your fingerders to touch my this,” I say rubbing my other hand down my body and his eyes darken with desire.

“Let’s just get you to bed.”

I open my mouth to speak.

“Alone,” he cuts me off before I can proposition him. I pout as he chuckles in reply.

“You taking her home, son?” I hear my Uncle Saul say from behind me, and it’s like a foghorn.

“Shhh,” I say spinning around, but I lose my balance and topple. Two strong hands quickly grip me, and I’m easily lifted into the air and his arms. I blink looking up at Isaac’s face.

I want to sit on his face.

I giggle to myself, and Isaac looks at me raising an eyebrow.

“Where’s Toby?” Isaac questions. There’s an edge to his tone.

“He left. Have you two still got issues? Neither of you are too big for me to remind you I’m your damn father, and I don’t give a shit about your fucking super abilities, you’re still my son.”

“Dad, for fuck sakes, shut up,” Isaac slams back, jostling me around in his arms.

“Shit, sorry. Just… are you and Toby okay?”

“Yeah, I’m just surprised he left her.”

“We are her family, Isaac. It’s not like she’s unsafe without him.”

Isaac grunts. My eyes must close because the next thing I know he’s laying me on his bed, and my head feels slightly clearer.

“This is your bed.”

Isaac strokes his knuckles softly down the side of my face.

“It is.”

“I’ve never let you go,” I tell him.

“I know,” he whispers.

“I need to let you go.”

“That’s never going to happen, Via. Now sleep.”

I study his face, and although I’m still drunk and a little hazy, there is no denying the love that shines in his eyes.

 

 

“Morning, sunshine.”

What the hell is going on, and who let wild horses take up residence in my skull? Come on brain, engage, piece together my life… now would be good!

The puzzle starts slotting into place. With my eyes still closed the bed dips, and I know Isaac is sitting next to me. I keep the duvet pulled over my face and will the ache in my head to subside.

“Take these, it will help.” Isaac tugs the duvet away from me. I’m weak from the hangover, so I have no strength to protest—not that I’d win against him.

Blinking and trying to adjust my eyes from the pitch black under the cover to the now semi-darkness of the room, Isaac’s smiling face comes into focus. Feeling like I’m about to throw up with a brass band fighting wrestlers inside my body, I still just want to lean up and kiss him. Morning breath stops me—morning breath—not the fact he has a girlfriend, or that he lied to me. The affirmation of Isaac’s very real relationship slams into me and stings like a bitch.

“Where’s Shelly?” I utter huskily.

His warm smile slips, and that hurts even more.

“How are you feeling?” he replies, totally bypassing my question.

“I’m fine.” Automatically the answer comes out, but I take a second to decide it’s not enough. Not anymore. “Answer my question, Isaac,” I demand.

He rubs the back of his neck as his eyes glaze over.

“Forget it.” I sigh and close my eyes for a second.

“I told you we broke up.” I look up at him as his eyes move over my face like he’s committing it to memory.

“Well, first, that still doesn’t actually answer my question, and second, I know you’re lying,” I mumble as an ache throbs behind my eyes and I close them again.

“Why would you say that I’m lying?”

“Toby told me she’s still living here and that you’re still together.”

Isaac doesn’t say anything, so I squint and open one eye slightly. It’s enough to see him staring into the distance as his jaw works. I close my eye again and give him his moment.

“There’s a lot to tell you. I promise I’ll be completely honest with you, but I can’t do it all in one go. There is some stuff I might never be able to tell you, but there’s little point in being honest about the rest if you never accept that certain things will have to remain a mystery.”

It’s probably the most confusing non-explanation he’s given me yet.

I grind my teeth and yelp when the pressure hurts my head. His big, warm hand cups my cheek, the heat feels good against the pain.

Keeping my eyes closed, I tell him what I need. “What I won’t accept as a mystery is Shelly. Why you haven’t spoken to me for so long, or how you really feel about me,” I whisper.

I feel his warm breath as his lips kiss each of my eyelids. “Those things I can be completely honest about,” his voice vibrates against my skin.

At his words, a few bricks tumble from the wall inside me, and a solitary tear releases a tiny bit of emotion as it slides from my eye and down the side of my face toward my ear.

Isaac’s thumb wipes it away, then with all the care in the world, he kisses my mouth. No tongues, just the gentle pressure of our lips before he moves his head back and eases me up carefully from my horizontal position on the bed so he can hold me in his arms.

Finally, I open my eyes again and face reality. “Where is she?” I repeat my earlier question.

His body sags against mine. “She’s still here in the house.” I try to pull away, but he holds me tighter. “We were never together… it was all a front, Via. A pretence because of the type of work I’m involved in. Mum, Dad, and Toby know about Shelly, about me, and my work,” he admits, and my mind swims with both questions and confusion. “Via, let’s not do this right now. You have a hangover, and you need to rest. We have a lot to talk about, and it’s not the kind of conversation you have when you’re still feeling crap from the night before.”

I nod my reply because although I’m itching to know everything, as well as work out where that leaves Isaac and me, whether we can make a go of something or not, I’m exhausted, and my brain and body still feel like mush.

“I wonder how Uncle Dane is?” I mumble, changing the subject.

“Probably feels like slitting his wrists,” Isaac responds, and I jerk at his words.

He lowers me back down to the bed. “I’m sorry, Via,” he says, seeing the emotion written across my face.

“It’s okay,” I whisper.

“No, it’s not, baby,” he replies running his finger across my forehead. It’s almost like he can’t sit there without a part of him touching a part of me. “You have to understand, I saw him the other day, I know how broken he is.”

“He loved her so much. She was his whole world,” I reply quietly.

His hand stills on my face. “I know how that feels,” he mutters, leaning down, he kisses my forehead. “Get some sleep, baby,” he tells me, then promptly gets up and walks out.

Did Isaac James just tell me I’m his whole world?

I soak up the moment, whether it’s true or not.