I begged Justine and Kent so many times to take me home. However, Kent doesn’t say a word as he drives my dad’s SUV to the airport. Justine sits in the back with me like I’m a four-year-old.

“Justine, please. I just made some progress with Tyler. I’ll get the help at home. I want to live.” That is the truth. I can’t believe I was willing to give up six years of marriage with my husband. I want him, I want him now, to tell me that with him, we can do anything. Then it hits me. He’s been telling me that for the past several months. “Why would you all believe me?” I continue. “I mean, I just tried to kill myself. You must be thinking this is coming out of left field, but fuck, I was so desperate to end the suffering. Now I realize how I could have fucked up Tyler’s life worse.” Grabbing her hands, I plead, “Please, Justine, I’m not saying this so I don’t have to go.” She now is looking at me, though I can’t see her eyes behind her large sunglasses. “I want Ty; I want to try here.” Being in his arms again is like I’m home. It’s not a physical home but anywhere with Ty is my home.

Justine doesn’t say a word, but her big sunglasses don’t hide the tears streaming down her face. I love this woman, and though she’s not my mom, I love her in every way that matters.

She grabs my hand, but as we near the airport, she squeezes it. Leaning over to me, she says in a plea I have never heard from her, “Honey, we all need you well. Our world is dark without the flicker you give to all of us. Please be kind to Kent on the flight there.” Kent brings my dad’s car to a stop in front of the ticket terminal. I get out, and Justine pulls me into a deep hug.

Kent only turns to me. “Come on, Ems. We need to get through security, and our flight leaves in less than an hour.”

He has said very little to me, and just like my dad, I love this man who raised me. However, with his cold and distant demeanor, I’m not sure if he really is upset with me or if this is his defense mechanism. He won’t cry. I don’t think he ever has.

* * *

We land in LA without any issues, and I’m surprised when Kent leads us to a Camaro. One look at the cherry red car, and I ask Kent, “Lila’s?” I don’t know why I ask. It couldn’t look more like Lila’s even if her name was written all over it.

“Yes, she left it here and won’t be back until tomorrow, so this was the best option for us,” he says coldly. I want to call him out on his behavior, though maybe he should be mad at me. I am stupid. Damn, why the fuck would I do something this asinine?

The traffic is horrible, and it must take an hour to get to my treatment facility. “You are heading home tonight?” I ask.

“No, I’m going to stay at Lila’s for the next week. I hope to find Amanda while I’m here.” Again, no emotion is in his tone.

“Amanda? Wow, you really got the short stick. Crazy stepdaughter and wild daughter all in one week.” What I mean as a joke isn’t received as one.

“Emma, do you realize how scared shitless we all are for you?” His tone is certainly not one I have ever heard from him. Kent does not yell, but his tone is stern.

“It was meant as a joke, but when I said it, I realized it didn’t come out like that.”

His eyes remain on the road, and we don’t talk again until we arrive at the treatment facility.

* * *

It is not much more than ten minutes before I part ways with my stepfather; though, with Kent, I never see him as just that.

I am taken to my room and am told a private space had been requested for me. I look at this place and know there is no way in hell Ty and I can afford this facility, let alone a single room. That is when it hits me—this is my dad. He knows me well, and as mad and hurt as he is, he still did this. He’d do anything for me. Why the hell can’t I feel this way about Aspen?

I’m barely unpacked when a knock on the door brings me back to reality. It takes me a second to consider my surroundings. Looking up, I see a petite woman with dark beady eyes and jet black hair. With a small smile, she says nothing entering my room. Looking at her white jacket, I know this is my doctor or, at least, one of them.

“Emma, I presume?”

Wanting to do my normal Emma thing, I almost say, who the hell else would it be? No one would willingly volunteer for this. However, I only smile because I want to get back to Tyler. Somehow, maybe they can find a way to make me the mother he sees in me.

“I’m Lydia Chow.” Her voice is monotone and she already grates on my last nerve.

Ah, I have found that many of my head shrinks normally refer to themselves as Doctor this or that. Maybe she thinks I’ll relate to her more by using her first name in this facility. I want to yell and tell them to take off the fucking white jackets with their fancy doctorates, but again, I don’t.

“You want to tell me why you think you are here?” she asks, and I find her voice condescending.

“No, not right now.” She sighs at my refusal to talk, taking a deep breath as her first impression tells her I may be a hard case to crack. I want to reply, confirming her suspicions, but I don’t.

“Okay, Emma, I know you have had a hard couple of days. But can I ask you one thing?”

I shrug and give her a small nod. “Okay, you tried to kill yourself.” It’s more of a statement, but I nod in agreement again. “I’m glad you weren’t successful. I see in your file you have a lot to live for.”

“Is there a question coming?” I ask.

“Yes, actually, there is. Are you glad you weren’t successful, that is, in killing yourself?”

I know what she meant the first time. Her wording is weird, phrasing the question in an odd way. However, I only say, “If you are asking if you must worry about me killing myself again, the answer is no. I’m not bullshitting with you either. I have a husband at home who I love dearly, and for that reason, I’m going to get better. I hope somewhere in all your many doctorates that I’m sure you possess, you can help me fall in love with my daughter.” I know that is the only way I can return to Tyler.