Chapter Two

See You Around

Mandee

I remember telling my best friend Phoenix that I thought Gage may be the most beautiful man I have ever seen. It’s possible he was. Now, though, now I know it’s not true. Grayson Falcon isn’t just beautiful; he’s wow. He’s shockingly beautiful. But he isn’t just that, he’s more, so much more. I know this from just watching him interact with Blue, who I sense he’s just tolerating until one of those women on the dance floor sweep him up and take him home.

He takes things in stride, smiles when I know he probably doesn’t want to.

Blue, dear God, I don’t know what got into him. He has a severe case of foot in mouth around Grayson. But Grayson is just going with it.

He leans over the bar as he pushes his empty glass toward me.

“I thought you were driving a motorcycle, Grayson.”

He curls his finger, beckoning me to lean in, so I do.

“Wanna know a secret?”

“Sure,” I answer.

“I’ve changed my mind.”

And that’s it.

He leans back with a devilish grin on his face, blasting his pearly whites like a spotlight on everyone he looks at. I know each of them feels special when he smiles at them. I sure do.

He has a playful kind of sexiness about him. He’s better looking than any man I ever fell for, but he doesn’t carry a chip on his shoulder or have that black cloud of arrogance hanging over him.

He’s a Falcon.

From what I have witnessed, they are good men, and when they set their minds on something, that something hasn’t a prayer.

“Mandee?”

I look over at Blue, the boy, well, young man who I’m dating.

He’s cute, tall, with short blond hair, and brown eyes. He’s sweet. We have actually known each other since school. He’s a couple years younger than me, but my dad, well, he thinks that’s perfect.

His dad owns the marina, so he’s here for the summer to help him out. Then he plans to return to college and finish his teaching degree. He wants to head straight to graduate school to get his doctorate.

He’s perfect. Absolutely perfect for me.

I smile. “Blue?”

He doesn’t respond.

“Cat got your tongue?” I joke. He does that a lot. Starts to ask me a question and then just stops, like he forgot what he was going to say.

“No. Dad sent a text. He needs me.”

“Okay.” I nod.

“Your dad left because I’m here. Not sure—”

“I’m a grownup, Blue. Plus, crowd’s thinning. The band will be done in thirty minutes. I’m fine.”

“Should I call him?” he asks.

“No, absolutely not. I’m not a child.” I say it like a joke, but it’s the truth. I hate that they all treat me like I am one. Lately, I’ve felt the strongest when I’m alone.

“I know. It’s just that—”

“Blue, go. I’m fine.”

He looks at me thoughtfully for a moment.

“I’m fine,” I tell him again.

He reaches across the bar and gives my hand a squeeze, then his phone chimes again.

He squints then sighs. “See you tomorrow?”

I give his hand a squeeze back and nod. “Sure.”

When Blue leaves, I look around the bar. There are about thirty people all having a great time. I didn’t notice Grayson return from the bathroom, and he isn’t one not to easily spot in such a small crowd. Hell, he would be hard to miss in Times Square.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see him step out of a dark corner of the dance floor, and he’s not alone.

The blonde who has had a few too many Sex On The Beaches, not a drink typically served here at Carlin’s, well, not during the off season, anyway, is looking up at him like he’s a damn brownie sundae with extra hot fudge and sprinkles.

I almost laugh at myself as I look her over and realize, as tiny as she is, she’s probably never once eaten a brownie sundae. She’s rail thin.

I look at the way he looks at her. She’s not his hot fudge sundae. She’s a breadstick.

I watch as they walk toward the door and eye his backside. In his loose, hanging worn blue jeans, they should sag on his butt, but it doesn’t. It hugs it.

That ass...it’s definitely a brownie sundae with extra fudge and sprinkles.

“Mandee,” I hear Pearl, our lunch hour cook and a regular on nights with entertainment, call to me from her regular seat at the end of this regular bar.

I walk down and take the glass she’s holding up to me. Her hair is in its normal, near beehive up-do that wouldn’t move if a hurricane ripped through it. Her secret: Aqua Net.

“My regular.” She winks.

Pearl’s regular is a Shirley Temple. The woman is a hoot. She lost her husband years ago to an alcohol-related illness—cirrhosis of the liver—so she doesn’t drink. However, she loves coming here on nights we have entertainment and even some nights when we don’t to people watch.

She loved her husband, flaws and all. They met at a place much like this. She said it did her soul good to see all the youngins making the same kind of mistakes she did all those years ago. A mistake, even if given a do-over, she would make over and over and over again.

After his death, I remember her telling me they once they fell apart. Six months apart. She said that was harder than his death. Something she said about it always made me consider how different love was to everyone who ever fell in love.

“Sometimes, a couple needs to fall apart in order to realize how badly they need to fall back together.”

I wrote that down in my book of quotes, a book I cherish, one that holds all the things I have seen, heard, and been told about love from my mother. Some mom wrote for me, some are my own, and some from others who have come into my life. It’s a book that gives me, a girl who should have no faith in men or love after all I have been through yet I still have, hope.

The night goes off without incident. Pearl stays until the last person leaves. I know she would have left earlier had Blue been here, and although not necessary, it is appreciated.

I lock the door behind her and go back to cleaning, and then putting the till in the safe. I don’t bother counting the money; Dad will recount it, anyway.

Locking the four deadbolts, and then setting the alarm, I start to turn and walk toward my truck. Yes, truck. My father insists I need one more than the car I was driving—my mom’s old car—for these parts.

The car was good enough for Mom. They rode together all the time. He drove. But with Lake Hopatcong experiencing all four seasons, four-wheel drive is a necessity for me.

Three steps toward my truck and I hear a female voice cry out. With my phone in hand, I am ready to hit 911 until I realize that it was not exactly a cry for help.

“Yes, oh yes, Billy Boy,” her annoyingly high-pitched cry rings out into the night.

“Ass up,” he says with humor in his voice.

“I want to ride that big cock of yours,” she all but begs.

“No can do, sunshine. Bend over and ass up,” he says, more humor playing in his voice.

That voice. Oh, damn it all, I now know who “Billy Boy” is.

“I want to-” she begins.

“Ass up or I’ll just jerk off, sunshine,” he demands.

Holy hell. Holy freaking hell. It’s Grayson.

“But...” she starts.

I peek around the corner, making sure to stay out of the light.

“All right then.” He chuckles, and I see him step back.

“No, no, okay. I just want to see you,” she again begs.

“Told you, I’m separated. Love my old lady. Gonna work shit out eventually. I just need a release. You said the same. No game playing here.”

He’s what!

“But, maybe...”

He takes her hand, kisses it quickly, and then steps back into the light.

I cover my mouth, stifling a gasp when I see...him. I’ve never seen a man erect and hanging like he is. He’s enormous. Thick, long...beautiful.

My mouth fills. Dear Lord, I’m salivating.

I swallow quickly and try to make myself step back, but I can’t. I just...can’t.

“No buts. No maybes. Thought we both could use a release. Pretty sure that’s what you said. Not looking for anything more.”

“Okay,” she says, swallowing hard.

I know exactly how she feels.

She drops to her knees.

“No need—aw, fuck,” he hisses as she takes him in her mouth.

And now, now I do step back. No need to see that.

I look at my truck, which is too close to them yet too far away from me to get to unnoticed. I then look at my phone to see the time. It’s nearly two-thirty in the morning. Dad will start to worry soon.

Dammit. Dammit. Dammit.

I step back farther and lean against the door, deciding to wait them out. Although it’s been a couple years, I do recall blowjobs lasting longer than sex, but sex never really lasted that long.

My phone spouts off my father’s ringtone, “He’s no ordinary man, so let’s give him a hand, ’cause everything he’s done for us, he’s done for love.”

I reach into my pocket and quickly pull it out, hitting the mute button on the side. Busted. I have no choice but to head to my truck now.

I avoid looking anywhere but straight ahead. Dammit, dammit, dammit.

I reach in the front pocket of my oversized vintage Gucci, monogrammed with Mom’s initials, M.F., Madeline Fairbanks. Her parents gave it to her when she graduated high school. Dad gave it to me when I did.

In the process of trying to dig for my keys, I drop my phone. I squat down to feel blindly for my phone when I hear a car start and see headlights shining. Fortunate for me, I see my phone. Unfortunately for me, I can also be seen.

My phone sounds off Dad’s ringtone again, and I grab it and answer, staying crouched down, mortified that I’m in this situation,

“Sorry, I dropped my phone. I’ll be home soon,” I tell my dad.

“Blue with you?” he asks.

“Nope, but I’m on my way.”

“You okay, Mandee?”

“Yes, of course I’m okay. See you soon.”

I hang up then lean back against the tire, covering my face with my phone and trying to gather the nerve to stand up and get the hell out of here. That’s when I hear gravel crunching and the sound of footsteps getting closer. I sigh when the brown work boots stop steps from me and look up.

He’s lit up by the light casting down on him, and I can see a smirk playing on the corner of his beautiful full lips. I can’t help smiling back, but I have to look down.

When he huffs a chuckle and squats down in front of me, I look back up at him and shrug. He holds out his hand to me, and I’m confused as to why.

“That one is my dad?” he asks, reaching for my phone.

“Well, it was, but he’s not on the phone anymore,” I say as he takes it from me.

He smirks. “The song.”

I feel my skin flush with further embarrassment. “Oh right. Yeah, my ringtone.” I feel so stupid. He was talking about the song title.

“He worried about you?”

I nod as he thumbs through my phone.

“Why?”

I shrug again.

He hands me back my phone, then stands as he takes my hand and pulls me up. Now he takes my purse and looks through it, pulling out my keys as if he knew exactly what I was looking for. He hits the unlock, opens the door, and then gestures for me to get in. So, I do.

When I think he’s going to shut the door, he instead leans against it, crosses his arms in front of his broad chest, and looks at me for long enough that I feel more uncomfortable.

“You and Phoenix, you’re friends?” His question takes the awkward out of what transpired.

“She’s my best friend.”

He sighs. “So, you tell each other everything?”

“Yes, but I won’t tell her about that girl,” I assure him. “And I’m really sorry about your separation. I hope...” The smile spreading across his face stops me.

“Sweetheart, since you and I already have a secret, and well, I have a feeling you need a man like me to help you understand men like me—”

“Men like you?”

“Men who want be honest, but honesty isn’t something taken well by women like her.”

“Women like her?” I ask, still confused.

He blows out a semi-frustrated breath. “You’re definitely a different breed.”

I look down again, embarrassed, and he reaches out, cupping my chin. His hands are rough, callused, but his touch is gentle.

He turns me to look up at him. “Women like her, they want to fuck,” he begins. The way he says fuck makes me feel like a million wild horses are galloping toward me. It’s intense, scary, yet beautiful. “But they want shit that some men aren’t capable of giving.”

“Men like you?” I ask.

He slowly strokes his thumb down my jawline as he looks at my face, not my eyes. “Men who have no desire to stay in one place for long enough to fuck up a good girl’s heart.”

“But you’re married,” I remind him.

He takes his hand away from my face and smirks as he looks at me, shaking his head. “No, sweetheart, I’m not. But if I got a girl who wants to fuck and I’m in need of a release, it’s easier to tell her I am. That way, she doesn’t get all those fairy tale notions running around in her head.”

“Fairy tales?”

“Happily ever afters don’t happen for men like me.”

“But they could.”

He reaches out again, and I wait to feel his rough, hot hands on my face again, but then he pulls back and shakes his head. “No, sweetheart, not when I don’t want one.”

I want to ask why, but he distracts me when he winks as he pushes himself off the door, grabs the doorframe, and then ducks his head just inside the cab of the truck.

“So, Mandee, we have two secrets now. Can I trust you to keep them?”

I nod.

“Even from Phoenix, your best friend?” he asks, eyes narrowing a little.

“Well...” I shrug. “I guess you and I are friends now, so sure.”

To that, he lets out a full-out belly laugh, and I can’t help laughing myself.

“Christ, you’re adorable.”

“You, too.”

“I’m adorable?” He laughs some more.

“Is it okay to say that? I mean, now that we’re friends with secrets and all?”

“Sure thing, sweetheart. Just consider me a basic bitch stuck in this body,” he says, still smiling, but it’s a different kind of smile; less amused, more intense.

“As your friend, I should point out that it’s a nice body to be stuck in,” I say, trying to put the light back in his laugh. It works.

He turns to walk away then looks back. “Hey, Mandee?”

I wait for him to continue.

“See you around.” He winks, then turns around and walks away.

I sigh as I sit back in my seat, allowing myself just a moment to enjoy and relish in the fact that Grayson Falcon wants to be my friend. Even more importantly, I feel comfortable enough to allow it.

He gave me all those feelings I felt years ago, but now I realize it was with the desired outcome that the man would fall for me and love me the way Dad did Mom. What was so very different about him was...everything.

I smile as I take my keys off the dash where he left them and start up my Chevy.

As I put it in reverse, I watch him pull out onto the road on a black and chrome Harley Davidson. Dangerous, sexy, the type of man every father warns his daughter about, yet he didn’t even try anything with me. What he did was make me feel uncomfortably...comfortable.

I laugh at this feeling, one that takes hold of my old thoughts, feelings, my emotional and physical reaction to men like him. Well, sort of like him. Regardless, he’s all those boys I allowed to lead me to think could love me, fill the emptiness of her loss, who truly wanted to use me, yet he didn’t even try.

Grayson had used that girl, but he was mostly honest with her. Well, in the way he said he had to be. I’ve seen it enough to know he’s not wrong in his way of dealing with things. No promises, no leading her on—none.

Pulling out onto the road, going in the opposite direction he went, I think about how Phoenix would have reacted to him. She would have shredded him with her brutal honesty in her feelings for men like him in a way I admire.

But in my experiences, I’m not much different for the boys who I allowed myself to believe wanted what I did. In the heat of the moment, in a moment of want, need, passion, feelings, words, emotions are not always real, but not really lies. One of my many therapists told me that it took me some time, but now I understand.

Not all people are the same, and as hurt as I always was by them, nothing compared to the night I realized there was far worse than that type of man.

Driving home, I allow myself to think about his hands and the way they felt on me, the way he caught me when I fell, the intensity of his gaze, all so intense. Then I think of Blue, and even though I do feel slightly guilty that I am practically daydreaming about Grayson Falcon, it’s just that—a daydream, a fantasy.

I will never fall for a man like that again.

Blue is safe. Blue makes me feel safe. I like safe. And as important as my feeling safe is, my father needs to feel the same.

After all he’s gone through—mom dying and the incident at school—I want him, the man who is everything to me, to have that peace, because as the song says, “That one is my dad.”