KIWI

“Loki?” I call when the bathroom door opens, I get no response.

I shrug, must be my imagination.

Then the curtain is drawn back and he’s standing there, buck naked, cock hard, a fierce expression on his face. “What’s wrong?” I ask.

“Shut up,” he growls and steps into the shower, grabbing my shoulder and spinning me around, pressing me against the tile. He places his forearm at the back of my neck, locking me in place.

“Loki, what the fuck?” I growl but it’s pointless. His hand slides up between my legs and my body trembles at his touch. The hold he has over me when it comes to sex kills me, but this is so much worse. My body is igniting with desire and yet all I want to do is slap him.

He pushes my legs apart then wraps a hand around my waist, pulling me toward him a little. His arm moves from my neck and his hand slides into my wet hair, gripping it tight and holding me to the wall.

Without warning, he pushes himself inside me, hard, fast.

Angry.

I cry out.

“Loki, please,” I beg him. “What’s wrong with you?”

“Shut. Up.” He emphasizes each word. There’s an unspoken threat tacked on to the end of those two and I cringe away from him.

He picks up his pace, faster, harder. My body comes alive with the need to come, despite the tears forming in my eyes. I don’t say anything, afraid of what he might do if I did.

A few more pumps into me and he pours his seed into me with a growl.

He pulls out and holds me to the wall as he rinses his cock in the water.

Then he steps out of the tub before letting me go.

My head is screaming that I should slap him, but I can’t move. I remain frozen as Loki disappears into my bedroom.

The tears I’d been holding back consume me and my knees give out.

After a few minutes I manage to pull myself together and finish my shower and climb out. I gingerly towel off. He didn’t hurt me, not physically at least, but I can’t even begin to wrap my head around why the fuck he’d do something like that.

I was in the shower long enough for him to dress and leave, that was the point after a couple minutes. I wanted him gone and out of the house. Knowing he wouldn’t stick around after something like that pushes me into motion, I have to go to work.

I towel off quickly and toss the towel in the hamper in my bathroom and go into my bedroom to find my outfit for tonight.

A squeak tears through my throat when I see Loki, fully dressed, sitting on my bed. “What in the fuck was that? What the fuck are you still doing here?” I screech at him and his eyes meet mine. There’s some unnamed-never-before-seen emotion playing in his eyes. It’s a combination of anger, pain, and something else. “Get out,” I tell him.

He stands, rounding the bed and coming toward me. He gets to me before I can make a break for it. His hand slides around my throat, not painfully, but enough to know it’s there and he pushes me into the wall next to my dresser. “Give it up,” he growls.

“What the fuck, Loki?”

“Your vendetta, give it up.”

I glare at him. “What are you talking about?” He shoves against me a little harder, again, not painful, just enough to remind me that he’s driving this circus.

“Rooster, Gunnar, give it up,” he growls.

“No,” I snap.

“How?” His voice softens at the same time as his eyes do. “How can you possibly put yourself in a situation like this and never once think about the consequences of your actions?” he asks and I’m baffled.

“What consequences?”

“What happens to her,” his free hand points toward the door, “when you don’t come home? Does she deserve that, Lily? Does our daughter deserve to grow up without you just so you can settle a score?”

I let out a rushed breath and sag against him, giving up my physical fight in hopes that he’ll let me go. “She’s the reason I’m doing it,” I breathe. He releases me, but keeps his body pressed to mine. “I need her safe.”

“She was safe in Boulder,” he snarls at me.

My eyes widen at his tone. He’s never been so pissed off at me before and I don’t get it.

“You brought her back here, you made her unsafe, Kiwi. She was safe there and now? Now they know about her, they know she exists and if they can use Jess and Hunter to get to Taz and Opie, what makes you think they wouldn’t use Piper to get to you?”

His words slice through me like a hot knife through butter and my knees weaken.

Loki’s hand comes to my face and I flinch. His eyes widen in shock then his features soften in regret. “I’d never hit you,” he breathes. “I may get rough with you, Lily, but I will never, ever hit you.” He’s growling in anger toward the end.

“Reflex,” I whisper.

“Give it up, for Piper, for me? Please. Let me take care of this,” he pleads.

“I can’t.” My voice comes out breathy and barely audible.

“Yes, you can. For her. For me.” He lowers his face to mine, inches away from my lips. “I will not let anything happen to you or Piper, not now, not ever. Please, let me do this my way.”

“We have a plan,” I counter.

“Fuck the plan.” The hand near my face gently strokes down my cheek. “You’re more important to me than any plan they make. Let me finish this. Let me finish what we started. Stay out of it, stay away from it. Just let us do this our way, please?” he pleads. His voice grows more urgent with each word. More desperate. His eyes flicker back and forth between mine, unable to focus on one or the other, mine are doing the same. Reading him.

Can I do this? Can I give it over to Loki to handle, for Tryke to do as he’s always done and protect me? Protect Piper?

I know the answer. I knew the answer the moment Piper was born. I knew, despite the years behind the gun, taking self-defense classes, learning to fight, that in the end the Angels would handle it. I wanted them to handle it. Sure, I would be pissed, at first, but eventually, knowing those men could no longer harm me would bring me the peace I’ve been searching for. The club has always protected its own. Why should I be any different? But I want, no, need a finite way to feel that revenge is met.

Can I truly step back now and hand it over to them?

“Okay,” I breathe and Loki relaxes instantly, his hands cupping my cheeks, lifting them up to his lips and he presses into me. His cock hard, my pussy still wet from the shower, my need to come balancing on a blade’s edge. His lips gently press into mine.

They’re warm, soft, everything opposite of the war that was raging through him a minute ago. He gently strokes my cheeks with his thumbs. His kiss is different, he’s different. Not just from the shower, but period.

His gentle kisses continue and my heart nearly explodes in my chest. This is it; this is what kissing your lover feels like.

I wrap my arms around his neck, holding him to me as tight as humanly possible. I can’t get close enough to him. I can’t pull him into me the way I need to feel him.

With my arms around his neck, I use that as leverage to lift my legs. He catches on quickly and presses me further into the wall. I don’t care that he’s dressed and I’m completely naked.

All the words he’s said, all the looks he’s given, his demands that I back off, all of it has come to this. He’s protecting what’s his, he’s claiming what belongs by his side and he’s doing it with unconditional love and devotion. And he’d do it with or without his brothers at his back. My revenge is his revenge in a sense.

I pull back from the kiss, our hooded eyes meet. “Finish it,” I breathe.

And finish it, he does.

“Take your bike,” Loki says as we’re leaving the house.

I’m an hour and twenty minutes late for work, and even though Loni knew I’d be late, it still makes me crazy. I hate being late. “Are you fucking nuts?”

He gives me a smirk that says, ‘well, duh,’ and adds, “Want to piss him off, ride the bike.”

“One minute you want me in the middle of all this, the next minute you’re fucking me in the shower like a caveman because you’re pissed off and you want me to back off, the next you want me to rile him up? Seriously, Loki, you’re making my fucking head spin.”

“Just because I want you safe, doesn’t mean you can’t have a little fun in the process.” He winks.

“Loni will send me home.”

He snorts, “No, she won’t, I’m calling Cowboy now.”

“Where are you going?” I ask him.

“I’m swinging back by Pyro’s” I cringe. I don’t like that name anymore and he gives me a sad smile. “Then I’m coming to the bar.” He winks

I smile and climb on my bike.

“Jesus, one of these days I’m gonna fuck you bent over that thing,” he growls.

“Fiend.”

“Only for you, baby, only for you.” He smirks and sits down on his bike as he pulls his phone from his cut. “Cowboy,” he pauses, “Yeah, we’re all set. Hey, listen, do me a favor. You at the bar?” He pauses again. “Okay, good. Tell Loni not to freak out on Skit again.” I can’t hear Cowboys reply. “Alright, see you.” He hangs up. “We’re good,” he tells me.

“She has no idea what she’s not freaking out about, does she?”

“Not a fucking clue,” he laughs and kick starts his bike. I follow suit and fire up mine.

He leads the way down the street until we get to the light. He’s going right, I’m going left, but we’re side by side. “I could get used to this,” I say over the roar of our engines.

“I’m tryin’,” he smirks and the light changes. He flashes me a wink and we both take off.

The rumble of the engine brings me a new calm and I find my center as I drive to work.

Loki was right. Loni didn’t say a fucking word, but she glared at me when I came in the door. I apologized for being late and she softened. I know she’s not mad about my tardiness, she’s pissed because her husband, who winked when I came in the door, told her to back off.

A little while later, Loni and I are alone and out of ear shot so I whisper, “I did it on purpose.”

“Why would you want to rile that man up?”

I give her an evil smirk. “Because, he deserves it.” She shakes her head but smiles nonetheless. “Thanks for understanding,” I add.

“I can’t argue with that logic,” she says and goes back to tending bar.

It’s almost three hours later when Loki shows up with Tryke, Pixie and Sticks in tow. They don’t sit in my section but I swap with Kat, giving her one of mine in exchange for the boys. She gave me a knowing smirk and a wink before I sashay to their table.

Once I’m there, I lean over and Loki growls at me. I wink at him. “What’ll it be boys?” I drawl.

“Fireball,” Sticks says. I knew that answer before I asked the question.

“All the way around,” Tryke says. I notice now that his contacts are back in, his hair is down, styled in a way that makes him Pyro and not Tryke. But there’s still something different about him, weight maybe. A burden is finally gone from his shoulders, perhaps?

“Comin’ right up,” I say as I push off the table and head toward the bar. Loki smacks my ass as I pass him, hard, and I yelp.

Loni rolls her eyes and shakes her head as I approach the bar. “They drinkin’ fireball tonight, Lon.”

She raises an eyebrow at me, and I shrug. “Okay then,” she laughs.

A couple minutes later I have their drinks in my hand. Loni cracked open a new bottle, poured their drinks then set the bottle on my tray. “Trust me, they’ll want it.” She winks and I carry it over to the table.

As I’m sliding drinks off my tray, Loki grabs my ass and squeezes. My mouth falls slack when I feel his finger brush along the seam of my jeans that’s running right up my slit. “Not fair,” I grumble at him.

“Oh, it’s totally fair,” Loki smirks just before he toasts the others and they shoot down their drinks.

All four of them put their glasses on the table expectantly and I roll my eyes. “Ain’t you guys capable of pourin’ your own shit?” I ask with a cock of my eyebrow and a smirk.

“Hell no,” Pyro says and that’s the moment I realize it really is like a weight has left his shoulders. He’s never been so animated since I met ‘Pyro’ about two weeks or so ago.

I smile wide and pour them each another round before leaving them to fend for themselves.

Another hour passes, it’s getting close to eleven. I was just beginning to wonder if Taz was going to make her appearance when she comes into the bar. My eyes meet Loki’s and he gives me a nod. So far, the plan for tonight is playing out just as Opie said when Loki caught up to him.

Taz doesn’t seem like herself when she sits at the bar. Loni waits on her and she orders a drink. Loni gives me the side eye. I don’t know how much she knows about what’s going down, but even she seems surprised.

I continue serving drinks to my tables and checking on the guys, but Pyro, Pixie and Sticks are getting up to leave so Loki can do what he needs to for the night.

“You alright?” he asks me.

“No, but I will be,” I tell him.

“I promise you, nothing will happen between us tonight.”

“I know,” I breathe.

“I mean it, Kiwi, I’m not like most of these guys. I gave you my patch, you’re wearing my brand. Short of putting a ring on your finger, there’s no bigger commitment.”

My body freezes at the mention of a ring. He leans forward, getting close to my ear and he whispers, “Which I will do.” His voice is full of promises at the mention of putting a ring on my finger.

“It’s been two days,” I breathe.

“I’ve been waiting a lifetime for you,” he adds and backs away from me. I take a deep breath, trying to find my center of gravity before I back away from him. He sits there patiently waiting for me to say something else and I don’t know what to say. I simply nod and pull away from the table. My heart races in my chest.

When I approach the bar, Loni comes over to me. “You alright?” she asks, but I’m staring off at nothing. “Yo, Skit?” She snaps her fingers in front of my face.

“What? Yeah, I’m fine.”

Loni laughs, “You sure about that?”

I blink. Then blink again. “No,” I finally manage.

“What happened?”

Right as I look at her, I see Taz getting up from the bar after putting her glass on the counter. I turn my focus to Loni. “I’m just… I don’t know, but that man seriously knows how to knock me off kilter.”

She laughs again. “What he do this time?”

“Told me he was gonna put a ring on me.”

She puts her hand on her hip. “You’re wearing his patch, his permanent brand on your shoulder and you’re freaking out about a ring?” Her eyes are crinkled in the corners as if she’s fighting off another laugh. “Girl, to these guys, patching is no different than saying ‘I do’.

“Well, shit,” I breathe.

“Uh huh,” she snickers. “It’s only us who freak out about the ring.” She leans forward. “Cowboy patched me two weeks into our relationship, he didn’t put on ring on it ‘til after we had three kids and that was because I begged him to.”

“Well, hell, I guess I should’ve known better.”

I glance around and see Taz approach Loki. I turn away from them. “Get used to it,” she says, a little disdain in her voice.

“Cowboy one of those guys?” I ask.

“Probably, but I’ve spent too much time fretting over it, worrying about it, making a big deal about it. The bottom line is, they are who they are.” She shrugs nonchalantly.

“I don’t know if I can be one of those girls,” I whisper.

“Most of them only have the gall to do it away from their old ladies,” she sneers.

I try to ignore Loki and Taz. But it’s hard. She’s not done anything to him but join him and talk to him.

After about twenty minutes, they get up to leave and Loki gives me an apologetic smile as he leaves.

“Seriously? You’re gonna let him walk out like that with her?” Loni grabs me.

I shake my head and let it go.