Seth
Seth tried but failed to calm his racing heart. Thinking back to the framed picture in Jacob’s room he recounted the date. All the pieces started clicking into place. It didn’t take much imagination to see himself in Jacob’s eyes.
He had a son.
He had a smart, gifted and fine-looking son.
Inhaling deeply, he turned to first face Chris.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked hoarsely. He tried his best to keep from lashing out at his old friend. The man had plenty of time in which he could’ve told him. Hell, he could’ve told him last night.
Chris shrugged and moved into the room to place the vase of flowers on the table by Lucy’s bed. Seth noticed that they had little red sticks strategically placed throughout the flowers with little red hearts sitting atop the tips. It reminded him of how Valentine’s Day was nearing; in his haste to get to Lucy, he’d all but forgotten about Cupid, the ugly kid in a diaper carrying the bow and arrows of love.
Chris leaned down and kissed his sister on the forehead, offering her a smile before turning back to Seth.
“It wasn’t my place or my decision,” Chris explained simply. “But just so you know, I’ve been on her for years to tell you. I knew you’d do the right thing,” he clarified and closed the distance between them for a thorough man hug. “It’s good to see you.”
Seth thumped his buddy soundly on the back and turned his eyes back to the mother of his child. Malnourished, weak and body ravaged with an incurable illness, but still beautiful beyond measure. No matter how many women he’d had over the years, he’d never felt anything toward them; nothing that compared to the way he felt about Lucy. The revelation hit him like a lightning bolt.
Had he known they’d had a son, he would’ve dropped everything and ran to her. His big, cushy lifestyle be damned. He’d have given it all up in a New York minute and that thought alone shocked him to his core. When had he gotten so soft? When had he gone from partying all hours of the night to being a responsible adult? How the hell had it happened and when?
Regardless, his heart swelled in his chest and he knew. He’d lied to himself all his life. He did want a family, he did want children. He wanted it all and he wanted it with Lucy and Jacob.
But, in retrospect, had she told him back then, he probably would’ve insisted she had an abortion or put the baby up for adoption. He hadn’t been ready back then, but now he was and it was that knowledge alone that finally made him understand why she’d kept it from him. She’d been mature enough to do the right thing for both of them and even though it cost him and his son four years, it gave them a lifetime to make it up.
If she let him and ‘if’ was a big word. He hadn’t exactly proven to her that he was as changed as he realized he was. Sure, he’d dropped everything and flown into town the moment she called him. But he’d done it thinking they’d rekindle a little romance from years past. Yes, he’d taken care of Jacob for a couple days, but being a dad 24/7 was a different story. He knew he’d have to prove himself far more capable and somewhere deep down, a need to have her approval roared to life.
If it came down to it, he would beg her to have him, flaws and all. And he would refuse to take ‘no’ for an answer. Especially not after seeing the way she looked at him; more correctly, not after understanding the way she looked at him.
Not for the first time since he’d been back in Pennsylvania, he saw the admiration and the love in her eyes and recognized it for what it was. How long had she felt that way for him?
“You should’ve told me,” Seth declared and moved to her side. Since Chris had lowered himself into the visitor’s chair, Seth sat on the edge of Lucy’s bed. Her feeble body didn’t occupy much room, but she moved her legs over anyway to allow him plenty of space.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked even though he knew the answer. He wanted to hear what she had to say.
“Are you kidding me?” Lucy snapped, her face flushing red. “Tell mister-big-league-baseball player; a new woman for every night of the week, that he had a son he repeatedly confirmed he didn’t want? How many times have you mentioned in an interview that a family and children wasn’t in your plans? You dare sit here and ask me why I didn’t tell you?” Her ragged breath rushed in and out and she reached up to place a hand over the center of her chest. He saw just how upset she was and it was that knowledge alone that convinced him to stop nagging her.
Although her words stung him like a stake through the heart, she was right. He was mad as hell at her, but he couldn’t blame her for her decision to keep Jacob safe from his father’s media-crazed life. Hell, even Seth feared what the paparazzi would print about him next. Could he really drag an innocent child into that kind of life?
“Are you going to take him away from me now that you know?” Lucy asked in a small voice.
Chris cursed, lunged to his feet and paced away from them to close the door.
“Of course he’s not,” Chris answered succinctly. “Tell her Seth; tell her you wouldn’t do that.”
Seth shook his head, tears forming in his eyes.
“No,” he admitted softly. “I’d never take that child away from his mother. I’d never take him away from you,” he murmured and reached down to take Lucy’s hand in his. “I’m here now and that’s all that counts.”
Chris reclaimed his seat and reached forward to pat Lucy gently on the arm.
“I’m here until the end of February and Amber will be in a few days before the fourteenth,” her brother informed her and Seth felt fear clench in his gut. Were they going to ask him to leave now that he wasn’t needed anymore?
“It’s my off season,” Seth interrupted, hoping to stave off any suggestions he pack up and head off. “I’d like to stay and get to know Jacob a little better.”
Lucy’s eyes went from Seth’s to her brother. She was silently asking him for his opinion and in the end; Chris must have conveyed something because she turned back to Seth and nodded curtly.
“Of course,” she agreed. “I just have one request,” she informed. “You don’t tell him. I made this mess, it’s mine to clean up,” she said.
“I’ll agree, on one stipulation,” Seth rebounded. “I’m here when you tell him,” he said. “I’ve left him high and dry for too long now, it’s time I make it up to him.”
Lucy didn’t respond, she just merely nodded.