Clara

Kneeling in my now blooming garden picking my goodies felt like a different type of accomplishment. Sure, I’d picked beans and collard greens growing up, but I hadn’t been the one to bring them to life like these. My basket was piled with tomatoes, a couple of small onions, mint and peppers. I had a feeling we’d be having Mexican food one night very soon.

It was probably the only way I’d get a moment with Asher this week. It had been a hectic week with the boys taking their lunches to-go nearly every day. Last week after the kiss that totally rocked my world and kept me up most nights reliving it until my body was soaked in sweat and the only thing that could cool me was the chilly Texas air in the middle of the night, Asher had been more affectionate. More comfortable touching me. Not intimate touches, unfortunately, just finding reasons to let his fingers brush against my skin. It was intoxicating, better than my granddaddy’s hooch, the way he made my skin tingle and my heart gallop from my chest. But all Asher had done was brush against me.

Well except for that night a few days after our first date where we’d ended up on the couch with me on his lap, grinding against his raging erection while he kissed me like I’d never been kissed before.

I loved it.

I hated it.

Who am I kidding? I wanted a heck of a lot more than R-rated kisses. I wanted it all.

But I was also deathly afraid that Asher was a mistake. A truly big mistake that would leave me broken. After waiting so long I knew that sharing my body with him would mean something to me. Something big. Really big, probably. And I wasn’t sure he was in this for something big. I could just be a convenience for him. But I really, really wanted to be with him in that way.

And I had a plan, because what was the point in coming across a guy like Asher and passing up the chance to have him to myself for a little while? Okay so maybe I was already falling—just a little bit, mind you—for his gruff-cowboy act. And his kisses. Most definitely his kisses.

My plan today was to get plenty of kisses. And more. So much more.

But if I didn’t get my butt in gear packing up lunches to take to the hands, I might miss the window to execute my grand plan. Shaking the fuzz from my head I went back inside to whip up delicious sub sandwiches with fresh made bread, potato salad, regular salad and chocolate cake. They hated the name of their big boy brown bag lunches but they sure loved to eat them, and that made me feel good. I wasn’t a first-class chef but these guys loved my food.

***

Showered and dressed in a sweet little white dress that covered my red bikini, I hopped on the Gator because while I loved the horses, riding them still scared the bejeezus out of me. It took less than an hour to drop off lunch to everyone but Asher. Then I was at the manmade lake I’d found a few days ago.

It was surrounded by tall maple trees with thick vibrant leaves that provided the perfect shade. I took in the scenery again before setting up the blanket with lunch spread out. I knew Asher didn’t stop for lunch until half past twelve so when a quarter to one rolled around and he still hadn’t shown, I shoved my disappointment down deep and removed my dress so I could wade into the chilly water.

The water felt nice, soothing my prickly skin as I sank deeper before lying on my back and looking up at the clear blue sky that was almost as blue as Asher’s eyes. Almost.

“He’s not coming,” I told myself thinking that saying it out loud not only made it true but made it hurt less. I was wrong. It hurt like a son of a gun.

“How did you know,” he shouted the question from the rise above the lake, smiling at me from his horse, looking like every cowboy fantasy I’d ever had come to life. My lips curved at the corners. I knew this had to be his favorite spot on the ranch.

“Where else could it be,” I shouted back, suddenly feeling hotter, nervous and more turned on than I’d been a few moments before.

“Want to join me?” Where this bold woman had come from I hadn’t the slightest idea, but I kinda liked her.

“I was promised lunch,” he said gruffly.

I kept my smile and shoved down the disappointment again. It was a specialty of mine, pushing my pain aside so I could deal with life.

“It’s on the blanket right there. Dig in.”

I wasn’t sure if I could do it, but I planned to float in this little slice of heaven until his rock-hard belly was full and he was headed back to work. I would not cry or act like a clinging little idiot.

My body froze when I heard the tiny splash of his big body entering the lake. He made hardly a sound, but soon there he was blocking my sun.

“Hi.”

Good god the man was fine. His chest held a light dusting of blonde hair that disappeared into the water, leaving me wondering if the trail went all the way down to paradise.

“Hi,” I answered breathlessly, suddenly feeling less confident about my grand plan.

“Hi.” Asher’s smile grew bigger as his head came closer and closer until our lips touched, and he began to do the most wonderful things to my mouth and my tongue. I was so hot, so riled up and I swear on all that is holy that the water around us steamed and bubbled. He pulled back. “This is a nice surprise,” he said barely above a whisper as his hand brushed circles on my leg, moving up with every rotation. “Special occasion?”

“Yes and no. We haven’t been out all week and I thought this was a good way for us to be alone. Together.”

My hands were drawn to his body, the golden skin and the hard muscles. My mouth watered along with other parts, as feelings I didn’t know what to do with swamped me.

“I like the sound of that,” he said as his fingertips brushed across my throbbing core. My breath hitched when one finger hooked into the side of my bikini and brush across creamy wet folds.

“Clara,” he groaned when one finger slipped inside my wet heat. “Fuck Clara.”

That was exactly what I wanted but I didn’t know how to ask for it. How to tell him the truth. So I reached into his blue knit boxer briefs and grabbed hold of him. All of him.

“My goodness,” I gasped. How would all of that fit inside me?

He chuckled. “Can’t say I don’t love that response.”

Adding another finger inside me while his thumb kept up a constant pressure on my clit, Asher’s gaze never left mine as he brought me closer and closer to my first orgasm at someone else’s hands.

And then my body was tight and stiff as a fiery heat rolled through me. I knew what was happening but it had never been so powerful, so all-consuming when I took care of myself. This was something otherworldly, I thought as my body trembled in the water. He held me until my heart slowed and my body stilled.

“Asher,” I panted.

“You’re beautiful Clara,” he grunted out.

“Make love to me,” I demanded because it was the only thing I could think of at the moment, having his big body on top of mine, inside mine thrusting and bringing us both unimaginable pleasure. He took a long time answering and I was sure he’d shut me down so I made my way out of the water and to the blanket.

“You’re sure?” He had followed me out onto the shore.

I nodded and he grinned, kneeling and pressing another kiss to my lips, then my neck and breasts. I trembled beneath him, shaking as he pulled off my top and pulled one hardened nipple into his mouth, licking and sucking until I groaned.

“God that feels so good.” 

He released me with a pop. “Tastes good too.”

“Asher,” I groaned because I needed him that bad. My body was just a vessel for all the delicious sensations he was making me feel. “Please.”

He froze and reared back onto his knees with a curse. “I’m not prepared Clara…I don’t have protection.”

I swear my heart swelled at those words. He was looking out for me and it had been so long since someone other than my cousin Boone had looked out for me. I smiled up at him.

“It’s ok, I brought something,” I told him and pulled a small packet from the picnic basket. I was transfixed watching him roll the condom over his length, his hands strong and sure, his body hard and trembling.

Then he was there between my legs, sliding inside my body and filling me up. Then he froze.

“Clara,” his voice held a warning.

Dammit. Of course he realized.

“Don’t stop Asher, please. This is what I want. You are what I want. Please.”

“But-,”

“No buts Asher.”

That seemed to do the trick, because this time he moved slower but he moved. The pain was minimal especially compared to the pleasure that flooded my body soon after. It was glorious and I shook with it, not knowing what to do but my body somehow just knew.

“You’re so tight,” he gritted out, body quivering with the effort I knew it took to go slow. Gentle. “So fucking wet and so, so tight.”

“You do this to me,” I told him and then we were both lost to the rhythm of our bodies dancing beneath the maple tree. Slow, deep strokes took me to the brink several times before Asher finally made me whimper his name. It was the most fantastic thing I’d ever felt. So full, so desired and so satisfied. “That was much better than when I do it myself.”

He chuckled and rolled to his side, pulling me with him. “Glad to hear it,” his voice rang with amusement and he dropped a kiss on my forehead. “You okay?”

I nodded and kissed his chest. “Never better.” Silence lingered between us for a long, charged moment before Asher spoke.

“So, your first time? That was unexpected.”

I shrugged. “At first I waited for the right guy and he never came. Then I waited for a decent guy and he never came. But I feel comfortable with you and if I’m being honest I’ve never wanted someone the way I want you.”

He groaned and pulled me on top of him. “I know exactly how you feel,” he said kissing my neck until I felt moisture flood my thighs.

His mouth was pure magic and I don’t know how he was able to get me going again so soon. But he had.

“You know Asher, I’ve always wanted to have sex in a lake.”

He laughed.

And then he took me in the lake.

***

Preparing for a barbecue to which the entire town of Rogue had been invited was wearing me out. The day was hotter than any I’d experienced in my life. There was a pervading, punishing dry heat that just wouldn’t let up. And now, well now it was hot and sticky and I looked like a hot mess.

While all the other women looked like they’d just stepped from the pages of Cowgirl Quarterly, if such a publication actually existed. They all had eyes for Asher, tracking his long muscular jean-clad legs as he walked, pressing up against him when they saw an opening and blatantly offering themselves up to him. It was enough to make my green eyes even greener with jealousy.

The thing was, I didn’t have any claim on him. Despite the past week of knock-a-girl-on-her-too-round-ass and make-her-fall-in-love-with-you sex. I knew I didn’t own him, or even a piece of his heart, but watching beautiful women with long, slender bodies go after him made me realize something important. Why would he choose me, a chubby failed chef with no sexual experience to speak of, when he could have any of them?

The answer was easy, he wouldn’t. And I would do well to remember that.

I kept telling myself that as I brought out more meat for the grill, refilled bowls on the tables and kept drinks in the coolers under the trees. I told myself that whenever my gaze tracked his movements and whenever another woman followed him off somewhere, leaving me to wonder if he was showing them the same good time he’d shown me.

“Who cares girl?” He was free to do whatever he pleased and I needed to tell him that. Now.

I marched up the front steps letting the door smack shut as I made my way to the kitchen where I’d spotted him through the window a few minutes ago. I was brought up short though by the sight of a tall leggy brunette pressed up against him, her arms twined around his neck. Asher didn’t look too put out, so I figured he didn’t need my permission after all. I turned on my heels and made my way back outside, grabbing the food I’d set aside for Jesse and took it to where I knew he’d be. In the barn.

“Thank ya girly,” he grinned up at me and opened one of the containers, inhaling the scent of grilled meat drenched in my famous smoky barbecue sauce. “You’re alright even if you are a little skittish around the animals.”

That pulled a laugh from me.

“I grew up in a small town, but the only animals around were dogs and cats, maybe the odd parakeet or rabbit. No horses or cows. Or goats, or chickens.” But strangely I enjoyed the presence of the animals and I figured if given enough time, I would conquer my fear of them.

His gaze was a little too keen and I began to squirm. “What are you hiding from?”

I could deny it but what would be the point? Those old eyes saw everything. “I don’t fit in.”

“Ha!” He smacked the makeshift desk with his palm. “No one fits in girly, they’re just better at hiding it than the likes of you and me.”

I thought about those words as I fed the horses a few of the sugar cubes I kept in my pockets for them. Maybe I wasn’t as good at fitting in as most people were, but I was okay with that. I was less okay with the fact that Asher already seemed to have moved on when there were still a few months left before Dolly came back.

When I finally left the barn, I prayed the party was over. But of course it wasn’t. Ranchers worked hard and they never had a day off, so on nights like this they would cut loose until late into the night. Before I rounded the house, I could hear the deep velvety voice of Colin singing while Bob Lee played his guitar around the fire. Good. The fire was far enough away that I could clean without being in the way, and that’s just what I did.

This was just plain old jealousy, pure and simple. I’d given him my virginity and in return he’d gotten a small piece of my heart, whether he wanted it or not. It didn’t matter, I decided. I’d slept with him and I was falling for him, so what? Women did this all the time and they weren’t total messes. I could get past this too.

“You don’t have to do that.” His voice came from somewhere behind me but he was close enough that his heat, his scent enveloped me.

But I refused to react. “Of course I do, it’s my job.”

Yeah, I know I was spoiling for a fight, and for no good reason to boot. But I couldn’t stop it any more than I could stop breathing.

“What’s the matter?”

I turned giving him my best innocent look.

“Nothing at all. Excuse me.” He grabbed my arm when I tried to walk past him and I looked up at him, eyes projecting the anger and hurt I felt. “Do you mind?”

“Damn right I do. Tell me what’s wrong.”

“Nothing is wrong. Go back to your party and your gorgeous friend!”

This time he let me go when I yanked for freedom and I grabbed as many empty bowls as I could carry inside with me. Dumping them on the counter without care, I started a sink of hot soapy water and waited.

“She’s been after me since I got to town.”

I shoved my hands into the hot water so I didn’t have to turn and face him, because I knew if I did, I would believe whatever sincerity I found in his eyes.

“You didn’t seem in a hurry to push her away.”

“She’s handsy and forward and I was trying to be a gentleman.” I felt him move closer until his hands were on my shoulders. “There’s only one woman I’m interested in, a curvy redhead who makes the hottest sounds when she’s about to come,” he dropped a kiss behind my ear as he finished his sentence.

“You don’t have to say that Asher.”

“I don’t say things I don’t mean Clara.” He practically growled the words, turning me around and tossing me over his shoulder.

“Put me down before you throw your back out”

He smacked my ass hard, but it felt kind of nice so I returned the favor. “Watch it!.”

“You watch it, you bully!” I was being childish and I knew it but I refused to swoon because he’d picked me up like it was nothing and didn’t even seem to be straining. Damn him. “Put me,” I went sailing through the air and landed on his bed with a bounce, “down.”

“You think I don’t want you?” He pulled at the buttons on his nice pearl buttoned shirt, eyes never leaving mine. “You think it’s easy to just go from your bed to another woman’s?” His belt went next and his hands worked on the button fly of his jeans. “Because all I’ve been thinking about all day was getting you alone again. And fucking you. Getting my dick all up in your creamy pussy.” Then he was over me, pulling at my sundress and then the sexy bra and panty set I’d worn to seduce him later tonight. “You are so gorgeous Clara, and your tits are magnificent. So round. So firm,” he said and pinched both nipples before soothing them with his tongue and kissing a trail down my body.

I knew where he was going and I was nervous.

“Asher you don’t have to, ah, do that.”

Instead of heeding my advice the devilish man smiled and—lord have mercy—licked me between my legs! It was obscene how good it felt. Soon the only thing I was worried about was my next orgasm. His mouth moved sinfully, licking and laving, and occasionally nibbling until I held handfuls of his hair and ground against his mouth while pleasure surged through me as I fell apart.

“Now that’s a sight I could get used to,” he whispered in my ear as he entered my body in one powerful thrust. “Fuck you feel so good, better than anything.” His pace was frantic, wild as though he couldn’t get enough of me.

“You feel divine,” I moaned, lost in him, in us and the desire that swirled between us. “More Asher, I need more of you.” He gave me all that I asked for and more. Pinching my clit, he wrung another orgasm from me before he found his own pleasure.

He collapsed on top of me with a moan and then a chuckle. “I feel like I’ll never get enough of you.”

I hoped he didn’t. In fact, I was starting to hope that he’d want to keep me forever. Asher looked down at me with a tender smile, and I promptly burst into tears.

“What’s wrong?”

I shook my head because I couldn’t really explain it, but I had to try because I couldn’t have him thinking that what had just happened between us was a mistake. It wasn’t. It was…everything.

“Nothing that was just a lot.”

“Too much?” His grin told me he was trying to lighten the mood, which I appreciated.

“It was perfect. That was a lot of emotion and a lot of pleasure at once. I’m fine.” He rolled us over again, our bodies still connected and kissed my forehead. It was a kiss I was coming to crave as much as the man himself.

As I drifted off to sleep to the sound of Colin’s smooth voice and Asher’s even breathing, I knew I wasn’t falling in love with Asher.

I was already there.