Lucy
Lucy heard her door whoosh open, but after being in the hospital for a while, she’d gotten used to the nurses, lab techs and others coming and going. They checked her vitals every four hours and her I.V. bag was changed every six. It was strange how being in a hospital was supposed to make a person feel better, when in fact, it made things much worse. She’d gotten absolutely no sleep, every bone in her body ached like the fires of hell was burning inside them and now Jacob had fallen asleep against her and she needed to pee.
Expecting to see a nurse, she uncovered herself and tucked the blanket underneath Jacob so he wouldn’t roll when she got off the bed and then she gingerly eased her feet onto the floor.
“Can you help me to the bathroom?” she called softly and inhaled sharply when Seth walked up. He offered her his hand and all she could do was shake her head in argument.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I thought you were a nurse, I can make it myself,” she explained and moved to push herself to stand. The physical therapist was riding her hard about continuing her daily exercises. But no matter how many times she walked the halls, she still felt weak. The chemo and radiation were sapping what little strength she had.
“Nonsense,” Seth argued and made a noise of disapproval when she stood and swayed on her feet. Reaching forward, he caught her by her upper arms and righted her. She froze and merely stared up into his eyes. Beautiful blue, crystalline eyes stared back at her and she didn’t miss the underlying hint of lust.
“C’mon,” he murmured. “I’ll help you to the bathroom. There’s handles you can hold on to in there. I’m sure you’re strong enough to manage, if not, I’ll go hunt down a nurse.” He slipped his arm around her waist and she felt him take the majority of her slight weight against him as he shuffled beside her.
“And how would you know what a hospital bathroom looks like?” she asked to advert some of the growing tension between them.
Seth chuckled at the drollness in her voice and smirked down at her.
“I’m a professional athlete,” he reminded her. “I’ve had my fair share of breaks, fractures and wounds. I even had to have surgery on my shoulder once,” he informed her. “They had to pin my bones after resetting them. I slid into home plate and met with the catcher’s cleat instead.”
Lucy winced when she thought about the pain he must have felt. She knew he had to love his job to endure such danger and risk of injury. But then she remembered the millions he made and figured it was an even trade-off.
They’d managed to make it to the bathroom and Seth paused, allowing her to push open the door and move across into the tiled room. She waved him away and pushed the door closed against his nose.
She managed to make it deeper into the small confines of the bathroom and work herself around to sit on the toilet. She cursed herself for not letting them put in a catheter when they’d first suggested it. No, she’d refused out of pure stubbornness and pride. She’d had no idea just how weak the treatments would make her.
Looking down at her hands, she wasn’t surprised to see them shaking. Reaching up, she wiped the slight sheen of sweat from her forehead. She contributed both to the level of exertion it had taken to get to the bathroom. Now, she faced the task of getting her bottoms and panties off and doing the actual deed.
“You alright?” Seth called from outside the closed door. “Do I need to get a nurse?” he added, his voice laced with a bit more panic. “Did you fall? Lucy, please answer me,” he asked. He didn’t wait for her to respond before the door swung open and he stood, framed in the doorway.
His dark hair was spiked and disheveled and his blue eyes were wide with worry. She couldn’t help but notice how his wide shoulders almost filled the entire empty space. His body was built more for football than baseball. She couldn’t stop the pool of lust that bloomed in her belly. Memories, long buried, rushed to life inside her and she was powerless to stop them. Sadly, she finally admitted to herself that it wasn’t lust she felt for Seth Landers; it was love.
She’d fallen in love with him the first time she’d met him. But being the shy, bookworm little sister she was, she couldn’t summon the courage to tell him. So when he offered her a night of passion, she’d surrendered to him everything she had.
She let her eyes roam from his feet upward to the rest of his body before they finally came to rest on his face. The light smattering of scruff only added to his overall appeal. Full, black eyebrows – matching his hair’s dark tone – framed his blue eyes and a strong nose, slightly crooked from a long ago break, led down to full, thoroughly kissable lips.
She blinked her eyes sheepishly and offered him a weak smile, thankful he couldn’t read her mind. She watched his shoulders relax once he realized she was alright and not sprawled unconscious on the floor. His apparent concern touched her deeply. But she couldn’t afford to think it was anything more than friendly care that prompted his uncontained panic.
She cringed at the thought of just how pitiful she looked; sitting atop the closed toilet seat, completely clothed, her face sweating and her hands shaking. Without saying a word, he squatted down in front of her and took her hands in his.
“You shouldn’t be doing this alone,” he scolded angrily and her heart sank. She missed her mom and dad so much. “Your family should be here. You deserve much more than suffering through this by yourself.”
She couldn’t help it; the tears formed and fell, leaving treks of moisture down her cheeks. All the years of pain, grief and guilt surged to the surface and she finally broke under the pressure. Once she started crying, she couldn’t stop. Great big, loud sobs of agony racked her weak body and suddenly she realized that both Seth and Jacob were holding her. Her baby running his hand up and down her prominently exposed backbone thanks to the harsh weight loss.
“It’s ok, Mommy,” Jacob whispered. “Uncle Seth and I will fix it,” he stated matter-of-factly. “Won’t we, Uncle Seth?”
“Damn straight, little buddy,” Seth agreed and Lucy shot him a disapproving glare over his choice of language. Momentarily at a disadvantage, she merely nodded her head and pulled her hand from Seth’s grip to embrace her son. She couldn’t leave him. No matter how bad the cancer got, no matter how badly it ravaged her body, she refused to give up. Her son needed her. Even if he seemed to be getting along with his father for the time being, there was no way she could know how their relationship would go if or when she told them.
They just may hate each other. Or worse, hate her.
The first step to fighting back was sucking it up; the pain, agony, desperation and weakness; it would all have to go. She couldn’t have her baby boy see her – the steadfast oak who’d always taken care of him, shielding him from every storm – fall apart from something he couldn’t even see.
Hugging her son a bit tighter against her side, she released him and raised her eyes to Seth.
“I can do this,” she stressed and inhaled deeply. “I have everyone I need.” She let the last part hang between them like a red flag. Seth’s eyes widened, but he merely gave a curt nod and opened his arms for Jacob.
“C’mon bud, Mom’s got this,” he murmured and led the little boy from the bathroom. “Call if you need anything,” he called over his shoulder. “Anything,” he repeated more sternly and Lucy didn’t miss his slight smirk.
“I think I can manage,” she quipped and pushed the door closed behind them.
It took a little time and more strength than she’d imagined, but she finally relieved her bladder, flushed the toilet and washed her hands. No sooner had she turned the water tap off than the door swung open and Seth stared at her in disapproval.
“You’re shaking all over and covered in sweat,” he observed. “You’re weak and shouldn’t be in here alone.”
Lucy waved her hand to dispel his nagging and moved toward him without taking her hands from the safety rails.
“I’m fine, just help me get back to bed, please,” she responded and smiled when he growled and took her arm. “I have a long way to go before I’m back to my old self, but I refuse to give up,” she admonished him. Pressing his lips tightly together, Seth merely nodded his head once and helped her back to her bed.