Chapter 12
A few weeks later Belinda sat in the confession booth at the Catholic Church and covered her head with her scarf. There were so many questions that remained unanswered and she needed a sign, any sign to tell her she was doing the right thing. The little door slid open and she sighed and kneeled.
“Bless me father for I have sinned, it’s been four years since my last confession.”
“Why has it been so long my child?” the priest asked.
“I don’t know, I guess life just happened,” she stated nervously.
“I see…so what would you like to confess today?”
“I’m not sure Father, it’s quite complicated,” she said suddenly having second thoughts about being here.
“Well, you do know that everything said here is completely confidential. So why don’t you start at the beginning,” he said in a modulated tone.
“I’m in a tricky situation; I have been forced to marry a man selected by my family.”
“Do you know this man?”
“Yes Father, I know him well,” she said not sure what else to say.
“How do you feel about the man?”
“I’m not sure, he’s a kind man at times, but he’s involved with…” she paused. Does she tell him about the fact that Louis is part of the mafia, and that she has no other option but to go through with this, or does she just ditch this whole confession and get on with life?
“What is he involved with?” the priest asked.
“I like him, I just don’t know if I am ready to marry him,” she said instead.
“But there is no love?”
“I don’t know, it’s all so very complicated,” she started.
“I understand, but you know that God can give you guidance in situations like this, and I’m here to assist.”
She was silent for a moment. This was a mistake, not even God can help her, she was stuck in a situation with no way out.
“I’m sorry Father, I just need a prayer.”
“Of course my child,” he said quietly and then followed with a short prayer for guidance.
“Thank you Father,” she said biting back the sudden wave of nausea that hit her.
“Go in peace.”
Belinda exited the booth and rushed to the nearest bathroom and dry-heaved over the toilet bowl. All this stress was starting to impact her health and if she didn’t get a grip on life, she was going to end up in some mental hospital for severe depression.
She made her way out of the church and walked two blocks down to a café to get some coffee. The smell of freshly ground coffee assaulted her senses immediately but instead of liking it as she usually did, her stomach turned again and another wave of nausea hit her. This was not stress she thought and mentally calculated when she had her last period as she rushed out of the café. The tired spells, the nausea, everything pointed to one sure fact. She was pregnant!
As if her life wasn’t complicated already, this took the cake. With the certainty of expecting Louis’ child hanging heavily over her head, she slumped back against the concrete wall in the alley next to the café, and pressed her rosary against her lips. This cannot be happening, she kept telling herself as she fought the morning sickness. You asked for a sign, her thoughts echoed back at her.
“Impossible,” she whispered to herself, “how can this be happening?”
She made her way back to the Villa fighting back the tears that threatened to spill. She was going to have to raise her child in the mafia, exposing him or her to the dark world she now lives in against her will and how was Louis going to take the news?
“Bella, I was getting worried,” it was Louis voice that infiltrated her thoughts and her heart cramped painfully, “you’re so pale, are you feeling ill?” he asked worriedly.
“I-I’m fine,” she lied, plastering on a smile, “just tired, I think I need to go lay down.”
“Of course,” he said and immediately helped her to her room.
Her heart was racing and it felt as if something was squeezing the very air from her lungs as she walked up to her room. She had to tell him, but she didn’t know how or when. The words were on the tip of her tongue, when she felt her stomach cramp. Without a word she rushed into her room shutting the door in Louis face, and rushed to the bathroom. This was an utter disaster, she thought as she hunched over the toilet.
Chapter 13
Louis knew instantly that Belinda was not well, she was nervous and pale, and the way she bolted into her room had him worried. Concerned about her health he called their family doctor to see to her.
“Thank you for coming around Doctor, I’m quite concerned about my fiancé, she doesn’t seem well. It could very well just be stress, but I’d prefer if you could take a look,” he said as he walked alongside the doctor taking him upstairs.
“What are her symptoms?” the doctor asked.
“Tired, pale, overall she seems quite edgy. She recently lost her father as you know, and with the wedding drawing close, I think it might just be stress,” he said quietly as they stood outside the room.
“Well that could very well be the case, but I’ll take a look and run a few tests to make sure all is in order.”
Louis opened the door for the doctor and then waited outside. This entire arrangement was handled incorrectly from day one, he thought as he paced in front of the door. He couldn’t help but feel guilty for allowing his father to influence his choices like this. He should have refused the arrangement and taken the brunt of his father’s rage instead of being such a coward. Now the woman he has slowly started to fall in love with is ill, and it was his fault. From the shy timid creature she was when he first met her, she now displayed the characteristics of a true Donna, unmoved and poker faced. She even refused to attend her father’s funeral, who knows what was going on in her mind.
A little while later the doctor asked Louis to join him and he couldn’t help but feel the immense sense of sadness as he looked down at Belinda where she lay staring out the window, her skin pale against the dark hair that framed her face.
“How is she?” he asked tentatively, taking her hand in his, surprised that she didn’t pull away from him.
“She does show some signs of stress but it’s very normal when a woman’s body undergoes such extreme changes during pregnancy…” the doctor started.
“Scusami, pregnant?” he asked in disbelief.
“Yes, that is correct. She’s about four weeks now,” the doctor said and turned his attention to Belinda, “Signora, you would need to visit my rooms as soon as you feel up to it so that we can make sure everything is in order, but your blood pressure seems fine.”
Louis stood in shock as he looked down at Belinda. This was the last thing he expected, he had assumed she was on birth control like most women should be in this day and age. How could she possibly be pregnant?
He walked the doctor to the door and let him find his own way out then came to sit beside her.
“Did you know you were pregnant?” he asked trying not to sound accusing.
“No, I didn’t,” she said without looking his way.
“Belinda, look at me. Were you not on birth control?” he asked trying to control his impatience.
She whipped her head around and glared at him, “No I was not. What seems to be the problem Louis, are you afraid that I might trick you into marrying me?” she bit out harshly.
“You know it’s not like that,” he countered.
“Do you think this is what I wanted, a baby born into the mafia!?” she said raising her voice.
“Calmati,” he said and took a deep breath, “I’m sorry for upsetting you. I just didn’t expect this,” he said quietly.
“Well neither did I, so here we are. Getting married in a few days, and I’m having your baby. Instant family isn’t that just brilliant,” she bit out sarcastically.
“Bella, please don’t stress yourself out, we can hold off with the wedding…”
“No, I will not walk down the aisle looking like a house or give anyone reason to think I am a promiscuous gold digger,” she said bitterly, “we will wed as planned.”
She had a point, everyone will think he is marrying her because she is with child, and the gossipmongers will have a field day. He just wished she could show more compassion, he wanted her the way she was when he first met her.
“As you will, mio cara, we will continue as planned.”
“I’m tired,” she said quietly turning her back on him.
“Get some rest, I’ll bring you some food later, and we can talk about the wedding then.”
He stood looking at her for a brief moment and then quietly left her to rest, closing the door behind him.
Although he didn’t expect this to happen he couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride knowing he was going to be a father. Maybe in time she would grow to love him and they would become a true family.