Fisher

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I drove back to the house, not bothering to talk to Jade, because I didn’t know what to say.

Instead I was preoccupied, my mind whirling from what I had discovered today, or, more accurately, what I hadn’t.

I quickly changed and went out for a run.

I wasn’t sure how many miles I went, but I pushed myself as hard as I could as fast as I could, hoping that the pain might bring some clarity.

It was fucked up that I thought pain equated with clarity, but I had no reason to think otherwise.

My life, such as it had been, was about pain, managing it, inflicting it, and I found my center there, had discovered all of my most important revelations in the midst of something excruciating. This run, no matter how long it was wouldn’t touch that.

I also wondered if perhaps Jade was having more of an effect on me than I wanted.

What she’d said stuck with me, as did the way she had said it.

It wouldn’t deter me from my goals, but she seemed genuine about not wanting to see me harmed.

That kind of concern was something I didn’t know how to respond to.

Still, I would not be dissuaded, and I would do a better job of making sure that Jade didn’t distract me.

So, that thought in mind, I turned myself back to the problem at hand.

None of the things the desk clerk had told me had revealed what I’d thought they would, but they weren’t entirely useless.

And besides, there were many, many other fronts on which I could attack the Murphys, and I would take advantage of them.

I just needed to figure out how.

No answer was forthcoming, so I continued to run, ran so far that I saw I was now in an industrial area.

It looked blighted, like it was on its last legs, and for the first time since I had come to this place, I felt like I was at home.

I stopped short, breathing heavily, my legs burning with the exertion.

Still, I felt ten pounds lighter.

Because inspiration had struck.

I stayed for a moment longer, looking at my surroundings, and then I started to run again.

I was tired, but I ran faster now than I had before.

Because now I had a reason to move.

When I returned, I found Jade sitting on the sofa.

Again I felt right at seeing her there, reminded myself that she wasn’t waiting for me.

“I found these crackers in the cupboard. I hope you don’t mind,” she said.

“Take what you like,” I responded.

I didn’t linger, and I didn’t allow myself to wonder why she had felt compelled to tell me that.

It didn’t seem like her. And perhaps our conversation earlier in the day had made her rethink some things about me.

Which was for the best.

I showered, almost unable to contain the energy that was animating me. I always got like this, not quite nervous, but not quite calm either.

But I welcomed that feeling, knew that it only came when something good was on the verge of happening.

Or in this case, something very bad for the Murphys.

I dressed again, this time going for cargo pants and a T-shirt and heavy boots.

When I returned to the living room, Jade had finished the crackers and was sitting, tapping her fingers against the armrest.

She had again tucked her feet under her and I froze for a moment, taken in by the sight of her there.

I shook myself, almost literally, and met her eyes.

“Are we going somewhere else?” she asked.

Her expression told me nothing, and her voice was completely lacking inflection.

“No,” I said.

“No?” she repeated, her face now glowing with her surprise.

“No. I’m going somewhere, but you’re staying here,” I said.

“I am?” she asked.

“Yeah,” I responded.

“So where are you going?” she asked.

“Good-bye, Jade,” I said.

I didn’t linger, and didn’t look at her again.

I wasn’t up for another debate, and she wouldn’t be able to change my mind. So I left, and put all thoughts of Jade out of my mind.

It was time for me to do what I had come here for.

---

Jade

---

That had been…odd.

I supposed I could say that everything that had happened since I had met Fisher would qualify as odd, but this afternoon and evening took the cake.

Chief among the oddness was my reaction to him.

When he had left the house in his workout clothes, I thought he looked good.

But when he had come back, sweaty, looking as though he wanted to sack a village, I’d been ready to offer myself up on a platter.

Which was so screwed up.

Never in my wildest dreams, did I imagine that the sight of a sweaty man would be such a turn-on. And certainly not this man in these circumstances. I was attracted to him. I couldn’t deny that. But I knew what he intended, and that should have been enough to end that.

It wasn’t.

Insane as it was, when I saw him, it had taken a physical feat for me not to spring from the couch, touch him, see if the muscles underneath the shirt that was plastered to his chest were as solid as they looked.

They would be.

I had no doubt about that fact, just as I had no doubt that I needed to be thinking anything but that.

When I had taken stock of his expression, I’d seen that he’d had a restless, almost feral look.

He was up to something.

I knew that, and although I had told myself not to ask, I’d been unable to resist the impulse.

And he’d blown me off. No surprise there, but what was surprising was how that affected me.

We weren’t friends.

If anything, we were enemies, though collaborating in this particular instance, something that still awed me.

But a brush-off?

I didn’t like that, and it didn’t really seem like him.

“And just what the hell is it you think you know about him?” I muttered.

I’d spoken out loud, my voice filling the house. Sadly, there was no answer.

But then again, I didn’t need an answer to be reminded of what was true.

What did I know about Fisher? Nothing good. It would be folly for me to continue to behave as though I had some special insight. I was out of my depth here, and getting deeper every moment.

But I knew I would see this through.

I had no choice.

But I needed to be smart about it.

Needed to be smart about him.

Were I the type of woman to groan, I would have groaned at this predicament.

All of my life, for most of it anyway, I had been cautious, done what I was supposed to, made sure that I protected myself.

And when I most needed it, that particular skill had flown completely out the window.

There’s no explanation for that, at least not one that made any sense to me.

Even worse, the way I felt about Fisher, or more accurately, the way I didn’t feel about him, wasn’t helping.

Because I knew that I didn’t know him.

I knew he had bad intentions.

But I had to be honest and admit I kind of liked the guy.

Yeah, he was handsome, but that didn’t matter. What mattered was that he seemed so…decent.

That was actually a terrible thing to think, and stupid, in fact, but I couldn’t shake the feeling.

Didn’t try too hard to shake it, really.

I’d learned long ago to trust myself, and everything in me told me that Fisher was a good guy.

Misguided?

Yes.

Potentially dangerous?

One hundred percent.

A good person?

I thought so.

The rational part of my brain screamed that I had no evidence of that, screamed even worse that it was wishful thinking, but it was easy to disregard that.

Because wishful thinking or not, no evidence or not, I knew that my impression of Fisher was based on something.

I really hoped it was true.

I was nervous, but I was convinced there was a way out of this that involved keeping everyone intact.

It was strange to think of myself as an optimist. It wasn’t something I would have ever thought, but in this moment I couldn’t let go of that belief.

I stood from the couch and began to pace through the nice, homey house.

I took a peek at the guest room and decided that pride be damned, I was going to take advantage of that mattress. That couch shit was for the birds.

Still, though I tried to focus on the microscopic elements of my environment, the huge pink elephant in the room wouldn’t be denied.

It was embarrassing to admit, something that shamed me to admit, but I was attracted to him.

Not for the first time I wished that I was a different woman. The kind who could use what meager gifts God had given me to tempt a man.

How much easier would it be if I could just screw Fisher until he forgot about everything but me?

I laughed out loud at the thought.

Nothing was going to sway that man from his purpose, but at the very least I would have a shot.

As it stood now I was nothing but a pesky harpy who might offer some information.

I couldn’t count on that lasting too long.

I also knew that I was going to have to go it alone. Because even if I managed to get Fisher to let this go, I didn’t know if I’d be able to get Patrick and Nya to.

At the very least I decided that if I ever saw Nya again, I would tell her the truth, make sure she knew how badly I betrayed her and how sorry I was for it.

I prayed I’d have the chance.