Fisher

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I walked into the wide-open space, kept moving, and then stopped in the center, directly over the plastic tarp that had been laid on the floor. I was beyond marveling at this situation, wondering where I’d gone wrong. None of that mattered, not anymore. All that mattered was Jade, and she was gone, and soon I would be too. Knowing that didn’t completely kill my attention to my surroundings, though.

I looked down at the tarp and nodded. “A nice touch,” I said.

“I’m glad you approve,” Patrick said.

He went quiet then and watched as the others filed in one by one. Michael, Sean. But the other one was missing.

Curious, and I couldn’t help but wonder where he was. Feared for a moment that he’d gone after Jade, but shoved that fear aside, certain that any calm I had would be gone if I followed that train of thought.

Instead I said, “Another of your warehouses, I take it?”

“One you didn’t burn,” Michael said.

“One I didn’t burn,” I responded.

He looked like he wanted to launch himself at me, and at this point I would have welcomed it.

It had been an hour, an excruciating hour, since Jade had left, and in that time, Patrick had huddled me into a van, one with blacked-out windows that didn’t allow me to see anything.

I’d waited, not even a window cracked, the interior stifling.

I didn’t care about the physical surroundings, though, instead tried to play out what was happening.

I didn’t have any doubt that they were busily searching the house, looking for any evidence, not that they would find any.

Except…

I thought back to that metal box, the one I had discarded in the living room, left lying in plain sight.

There was no way they would miss it.

I told myself it didn’t matter. All that mattered was that Jade was away from all this.

I had no reason to trust him, but I had looked at Patrick when he spoke those words, and believed his promise. He’d let Jade go.

“Why did you burn my fucking hotel?” Michael asked.

I looked at him, shrugged.

“Sorry to disappoint you. But someone got to that before I could,” I said.

“You fucking liar,” he said through clenched teeth.

“Why would I lie?” I asked.

“Because you’re a fucking psychopath asshole,” the youngest, Sean, said.

“Perhaps. But I’m not a liar. I didn’t burn down your hotel. The warehouse. I did burn that down,” I said.

“With the cash inside. Stupid, too,” Sean said.

“Perhaps. But some people have morals. Some people don’t want your money,” I said.

“Then what do you want, Fisher?” Patrick said.

Him speaking my name was a bit disconcerting, but I kept myself calm, didn’t take the bait.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“Yes, we would,” Patrick said.

“Too bad. Because I’m not going to tell you,” I said.

I had decided that was the one small piece of the upper hand I had left in this, and I would not relinquish it. It was a minuscule thing to hold on to in the face of my imminent demise. I almost smiled but bit the expression back at the last second. Still, I recalled Jade’s words, realized I might have to agree with her that I was a little petty.

Felt all of that humor fade when I remembered I’d never have a chance to tell her so.

“You know there are ways we could make you reconsider,” Michael said, the threat in his voice heavy.

“You’re free to try,” I said.

Michael smiled, and I braced myself, the anticipation of the pain I knew was yet to come starting to rise.

I pushed it down.

I could deal with pain.

The warehouse door opened, and I looked toward it, surprised when Aengus walked in, followed by Declan, the last of them.

This was a surprising development, and I stayed quiet and looked at Aengus as he looked at everyone else in the room.

He didn’t let his gaze linger on me, but instead he looked at the others, seeming at ease, if not a bit surprised.

“Looks like the gang’s all here,” he said.

“Asshole,” Sean muttered.

Aengus cut his eyes at Sean and then looked at me.

“Who’s the new guy?” he asked.

The way he spoke made it easy to believe he had no idea who I was, but the others didn’t look to be biting.

“That was a question for you,” Declan said.

He stood next to Patrick, looking menacing, his gaze lasered on Aengus. He hadn’t even given me a second look.

Another curiosity, but I kept that to myself as well.

We were all standing close, a loose semicircle around Aengus, with Michael to my left, Sean to my right. I assumed it was to prevent me from running away, getting deeper into the warehouse, but they didn’t have to worry. I wasn’t going anywhere.

“Aengus, who is Fisher Murphy?” Patrick asked.

Aengus kept his face exactly the same, didn’t appear to have any familiarity or any emotion at all at the sound of my name.

“How the fuck should I know?” he said.

“The name means nothing to you?” Declan asked.

“You think I know every dick named Murphy?” he asked.

He chuckled, and the sound was full of bluster that didn’t appear to move any of them.

“Not every dick named Murphy, just this dick named Fisher Murphy,” Patrick said.

“How the fuck should I know him?” Aengus said.

I listened, my feelings a jumble of annoyance, anger, and worst of all, utter lack of surprise.

It didn’t hurt to have Aengus deny me. I was used to it by now, knew that it didn’t matter. Or kept telling myself the lie, hoping I might eventually believe it. But even more, I couldn’t help but think back to Jade, how she had literally shielded my body with her own.

She’d known me for less than a week and gave me more care and consideration than the man who called himself my father.

That was something I had to think about, something I needed to understand, something I probably would never be able to do, given how short my time was.

“If you don’t know him, why did you sign his birth certificate?” Declan said.

Aengus scowled, his bluster shifting to anger.

I knew exactly what that meant. It meant that Declan had him on the ropes, and when Aengus was cornered he lashed out.

“What birth certificate?” Aengus asked.

“This one,” Patrick said.

As I had feared, he had found the metal box, and had clearly looked through it.

He pulled the piece of paper out and handed it to Aengus.

Aengus took it, glanced at it for less than two seconds, and then tossed it to the ground.

“It’s an old piece of paper. What am I supposed to know about it?” he said.

“You’re really going to deny it?” Michael asked, looking disgusted.

“Deny what?”

“He’s standing right here, not three feet away from you, and you’re going to pretend he doesn’t exist. You’re a fucking asshole,” Michael said.

“Same to you, dick,” Aengus said.

“Aengus, who is he?” Declan said.

His voice was calm, gleefully so, and at the sound of it, Aengus shifted away from Michael and looked at Declan.

Something passed between them, and it was something I couldn’t quite identify, but for whatever reason that silent communication broke Aengus. He shrugged, tilted his head in the way that told me he was about to confess to something awful but pretend it was no big deal.

“Well, boys, meet your brother,” he said.

The others didn’t look at me, and from their lack of reaction, I assumed they weren’t surprised. They wouldn’t have been, not with what they had found at the house where I’d been staying. Still, their uniform stone expressions were impressive.

“Where’s he been?” Sean asked.

“He grew up in the old country,” Aengus said.

“Why?” Sean asked, his face finally betraying emotions, disgust chief among them.

“What? I’m supposed to take care of five by myself?”

“You never took care of us.”

It was Michael who said that, spoke with a definitiveness that I somehow knew was true.

I’d never gotten this picture of their life. I realized that Jade had been right in her words, and that I had been foolish and relying on Aengus. Because whatever had happened between them, it was definitely more complicated than Aengus had let on.

“I did the best I could. After that bitc—your mother—tried to off herself, I was left with four kids to take care of. What would you have done?” Aengus said.

None of them bothered to answer that question, but Declan didn’t let the matter drop.

“Why did you send him away?” Declan asked.

Aengus muttered, shook his head. “Reasons,” he said nonchalantly. It took all of my discipline not to interject, my curiosity, wonder about what had led me down the path my life had taken making it almost impossible not to.

“Reasons like what? Did Mom cheat on you or something? Is he somebody else’s?” Patrick asked.

Probably just as he had intended, his question got Aengus’s hackles raised, out of guilt or maybe out of embarrassment. I couldn’t decide which, though embarrassment was something Aengus had experience with.

“Cheat on me? Your mother might be insane, but she wasn’t that crazy,” he said.

There was a menace in his voice that was sickening, but it didn’t seem to surprise the others, and if I was being honest, I wouldn’t say it surprised me.

“What then? What would make you send your son away, Aengus?” Declan asked.

“Fine. You want to know what happened? Your mother wouldn’t cheat on me. She was a good Catholic girl. But she tried to leave me,” he said.

His voice was deep, practically brimming with indignation.

“When?” Patrick asked.

“Years ago. You and Declan were little. Fisher here was little more than one. She said she’d had enough of my shit and she wanted to go,” he said.

“So what did you do?” Patrick asked.

“What was I supposed to do? You think I’m just gonna let her walk out, take my kids? Hell no!” he said.

“Aengus, what did you do?” Declan said.

“I simply reminded her that my kids belong to me. So I took one, sent him away and asked her if she wanted me to do the same with the others? She didn’t. Instead she came to her senses and tossed the idea of leaving me right out of her.”

“You sent him away to prove a point?” Patrick said.

“Yeah. Was I supposed to just let that bullshit stand?” he responded.

The room was silent for a moment, but even if it hadn’t been, I likely wouldn’t have heard. Instead I tried to process, tried to understand how a father could do such a thing.

Realized then that I couldn’t really call Aengus that, not in any sense of the word that meant anything.

“You’re an even worse piece of shit than I thought,” Michael said.

“And it’s my blood that runs through your veins. Don’t forget that.”

The room went silent again and a moment later Aengus shrugged.

“Now that we’ve had this fucking family reunion, can I go?” Aengus said.

“What about him?” Declan asked, gesturing toward me.

“Fisher’s smart, he’s got a good head on his shoulders. He can take care of himself,” Aengus said.

“I certainly can,” I said, knowing that was no thanks to Aengus.

As I spoke, I sprang and punched Michael directly in the ribs. He inhaled sharply, but I kept going, reached for the gun that he had tucked in his waistband.

I locked my arm around his neck, squeezed for just a moment and then pushed him down to the ground and backed away.

He coughed, and Sean ran over to him without taking his eyes off me.

“Ha!” Aengus said, laughing. “Told you he could take care of himself.”

Aengus walked away from Declan and moved to stand beside me.

He clapped me on the shoulder and then looked at the others. He cackled, the sound low-pitched but still loud enough to echo in the warehouse.

I kept the gun extended, trained on Patrick, but glanced at Aengus and saw that his expression was one of pure glee.

“You’re outnumbered,” Declan said.

“That I am. But I have sixteen shots, and I won’t need all of them to take down at least two of you,” I said.

No one moved, and I looked at Aengus again, heard his laughter, saw as he clapped, his glee a tangible thing.

“I knew this day would come,” he said, shaking his head, seeming at disbelief with his good fortune. “I knew that one day you arrogant assholes would get knocked off your fucking high horses. That day is finally here.”

He went quiet, then stood up taller, glared at all four of the brothers.

“All these years, I’ve been a laughingstock, your fucking whipping boy. That was a mistake. If you just had an ounce of humility, showed me the respect I deserve, none of this would’ve happened. But you didn’t, and now when all of your precious wives and your precious fucking kiddos are crying over your graves, which will be empty, because no one will ever find your bodies, I’ll get the satisfaction of knowing that this was all your fault,” he said.

I glanced over at him, and he nodded at me, smiled.

“Did you burn Michael’s hotel?” I asked.

Aengus looked surprised at the question but then nodded. “Yeah. I was having a little…tantrum.”

“You could have let me know,” I said.

“I don’t fucking answer to you,” he snapped.

“No, you don’t,” I responded.

I went quiet, then looked at each of the brothers. None of them seemed too alarmed, but all of them seemed resolved.

For some reason I couldn’t quite understand I respected that resolve. Recognized it from myself. How many times had I been certain that my end was near? Many, so I recognized it in them. They were probably like me, surprised that they had managed to get what little they had out of life.

“Which one?” I asked Aengus.

“I don’t know…” he said, his voice trailing off as he considered.

He stepped away from my side and then began to pace the room. I followed him, training my gun on each of the brothers as he walked past slowly.

“All of them have been bothersome, but in their own particular ways.”

He shook his head, sighed.

“God, such a tough decision,” he said. He continued to pace, stopped in front of Declan, then Patrick, then Sean, then Michael, made the circuit again. When he reached Declan he stopped, then looked back at me.

“Seriously, I’m having a hard time deciding,” he said.

“Why don’t you let me help?”

I locked eyes with him and then pulled the trigger.