CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Cordelia felt as though she’d walked into a dream. Not only had she gotten to spend an entire afternoon and evening with Alec, but any second now James Taylor was going to walk out on stage and start singing her favorite songs. From only five feet away!
She was bouncing with excitement in her seat as the lights inside the Shed went down and the stage lights came up. Everyone jumped to their feet, and then there he was. Her favorite musician, playing the first chords to “Carolina in My Mind.”
Tears sprang to her eyes, she was so overwhelmed, so grateful that Alec had done this for her. She threw her arms around him, laughing as she hugged him. “It’s like he’s sitting in my living room playing just for me.” She was so relieved to see him smile back. Maybe he really would be okay with this. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” He nodded up toward the stage. “Now enjoy the show, just like you promised.”
And, oh, did she ever enjoy it. She’d seen JT’s PBS special, of course, and watched snippets of his other shows online. But actually getting to listen to him live as he sang “Sweet Baby James” and “Country Road” and “Shower the People”…
It was the most wonderful gift anyone had ever given her.
She felt full to the brim, as happy as she could ever remember being. And then, the lights dimmed even further and the band left the stage, leaving James alone to sing one of his biggest hits of all. “Fire and Rain.” The song William Sullivan had played on repeat when his wife died.
Cordelia turned away from the stage, needing to make sure Alec was okay.
But he was gone.
Jumping out of her seat, she headed toward the exit, berating herself with every step for allowing herself to get lost in the music. She shouldn’t even have let them come inside, should have insisted that they leave as soon as she realized what Alec had planned.
He was tall and broad, so she could make out his shape as he strode past the crowds of people on the lawns. But it was dark enough that she was afraid she’d lose him. She picked up the pace, running now, not caring that people probably thought she was nuts.
Out on the lawn there were speakers so that people picnicking could hear the music. Which meant that even after leaving their seats, there was no way to escape the lyrics as James Taylor sang about how he couldn’t believe the woman he loved was gone and that he wouldn’t get to see her again.
Alec finally stopped at the far edge of the grass, and she sprinted over to him. He was facing away from her, and when she gently put a hand on his back, she could feel his heart beating wildly through her palm.
He didn’t turn around right away, and when he did, the bleak expression in his eyes nearly dropped her to her knees. “Alec.” She felt tears well up again, but it wasn’t her turn to cry right now, damn it. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have let us stay for this show. Shouldn’t have made you listen to these songs.”
He didn’t speak for several long moments. Finally, he said, “I had to bring you here.” He reached for her, brushing a lock of hair back behind her ear, his touch sending sensation zinging through her. “I knew you’d love it.”
“I do, of course I do. But nothing that hurts you this much is worth it, Alec. Can’t you see—all I want is for you to be happy?”
The way he looked at her then…she’d never seen that look in his eyes. Never seen that look in any man’s eyes. Not for her. “I didn’t just bring you here because I knew you’d love the show,” he said in a rough voice. “I brought you here because—”
He paused then, and in that brief silent space, she couldn’t help but hope desperately for the four-letter word he’d told her, more than once, would never come out of his mouth.
“Because?” she prompted in a breathless voice.
“You make me happy.” He put his arm around her waist, drawing her close. “Happier than anyone or anything ever has.”
Disappointment she had no right to feel choked her. Of course he wasn’t going to say he loved her. He’d made it clear from the start that he wasn’t looking for love. Until now, she’d pretended to heed his warning, had felt so tough sleeping with him and then going on with her day unaffected—when the truth was that no one, and nothing, had ever affected her the way Alec Sullivan did.
“You make me happy too.” She forced herself to smile for him, even if the barest upturn of her lips was all she could manage. “No matter what happens, Alec, I’m going to be your friend. Through thick and thin. Good times and bad. Rain, sleet, or snow.” Her vows of friendship to him were as important to her as any marriage vows would one day be to someone else. The thought of anyone else being this important to her, though, made her stomach churn.
He lowered his forehead to hers. “Through thick and thin, Cordelia. Good times and bad. Rain, sleet, or snow. I’ll always take care of you.” A rogue tear fell down her cheek as he gave her vows of his own. “Always.”
She shouldn’t want to seal their promises of friendship with a kiss. Especially when she knew sleeping together was a really bad idea. They’d thought they could blur the lines without paying a price for it, but they couldn’t. She couldn’t. Her heart ached to think they’d had their last time together and hadn’t even known it.
“We should go,” she said, forcing herself to move out of his arms.
“The show’s not over yet.”
“I loved it, Alec. Absolutely every second of it.” She took his hand and headed for the exit. “But I’m ready to go now. Especially since it’s late and we’ve got a long drive back.”
“Actually, we’ve got reservations at a local B&B. But it’s up to you whether or not you’d like to use them.”
“For one last night together?” She didn’t want there to be any gray areas. Couldn’t let there be, for both their sakes.
“For one last night together,” he agreed in a low tone that reverberated with desire and emotion. “I want to memorize every one of your curves, Cordelia. I want to capture the sweet little sounds you make when I touch, kiss, just the right patch of skin, so that I can hold on to them forever. If you’ll let me, I’ll make sure tonight is one neither of us will ever forget.”
He hadn’t even touched her yet beyond holding her hand, had simply told her what he wanted, but it was more than enough to make her insides spark, sizzle, melt for him. “I don’t need tonight to keep from forgetting you,” she said, “but I want it anyway.”
And then their mouths crashed together in the kiss she’d been longing for all week.
* * *
Alec couldn’t believe it. Couldn’t believe the word that had nearly fallen from his lips.
Love.
He’d almost told Cordelia he loved her.
It had to have been his rioting emotions from hearing “Fire and Rain.” From the crazy two weeks they’d had. From the mind-blowing sex.
Whatever the reason for the insanity that had gripped him out on the lawn at Tanglewood, he’d stopped before he could blurt it out. Cordelia deserved so much more than a man who had no idea what love meant for him. Especially when he knew exactly what love meant for her—and he was positive he could never live up to what she wanted, what she needed.
Suggesting the B&B was his last-ditch effort to hold on to her, just a little while longer. He’d assumed she’d say no, but just as she’d surprised him so many times before, she surprised him yet again with a yes.
Together, they walked up the curving stairwell of the century-old home that had been converted into a B&B. The furniture was antique, the wood floor gleamed beneath their feet, and Alec’s heart had never pounded so fast. Cordelia had done this to him from the first moment he’d met her—she’d thrown him off his game by making him want to protect her, laugh with her, adore her.
She had the key and when she put it in the lock, he exhaled the breath he’d been holding. She could still change her mind—and of course he’d respect her wishes if she did—but he prayed she wouldn’t. There were only eight hours until the sun rose again. Eight hours he wished he could spin into eight million.
But there was more waiting out there for Cordelia than a cynical businessman who felt like he’d only just learned what it felt like to be happy. After tonight, he’d force himself to turn her loose to find true happiness with someone else.
These next eight hours, however, were all theirs. Together, for one final night of bliss.