CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
The Langley Garden Center had never been so busy. Partly because of Cordelia’s sudden notoriety, but also because the weather was perfect. Overnight it seemed every bush, every plant, every tree had burst into bloom.
All of Alec’s siblings had been in during the past week to check on her, which was very sweet. Only Alec hadn’t been by. He’d texted her a couple of times to make sure she wasn’t having trouble with the press or with the security crew assigned to watch over her. But his notes were brief and to the point.
It stung, of course. How could it not? She wasn’t expecting a great big love affair, but that didn’t mean going from making love one day to barely speaking the next was her favorite thing in the world. At the same time, she understood the way Alec’s mind and his heart worked. She couldn’t love him and not understand that he wasn’t happy with the way he’d opened up to her. With how much he’d shared with her on the beach. There was nothing he hated more than talking about his mother or father and revisiting the past.
She was a good enough friend to give him some space—for now, at least—because he was not only still reeling from losing Gordon, but was also doing the work of two men. But despite his obvious discomfort over opening up to her on the beach, she couldn’t help but feel that it was exactly what he needed to do.
Fortunately, in just a few minutes they would come face to face again at Harry’s house in Manhattan for a birthday-planning meeting. Though seeing Alec tonight was nowhere close to a date, she’d still taken a few extra minutes after work to clean up, going so far as to put on the white skinny jeans she rarely wore. Dirt was an occupational hazard, so white was rarely a good idea. She’d also found a pretty sea-green top her mother had given her and had even splashed out with some mascara and lip gloss.
Anticipation made her heart beat a little faster as she pulled into the spot Harry had blocked off for her in his small parking area in front of his house. Two weeks ago she hadn’t even known Alec Sullivan. Now, a week without seeing him was too long.
She was just getting out of the car when Harry stepped out on his front stoop to greet her. “Cordelia, I’m glad you’re here. I hope the drive wasn’t too bad.”
She smiled at Alec’s brother. Harry Sullivan might not make her heart go pitter-patter, but he was still one of the most attractive men she’d ever seen. How, she wondered, had no one snapped him up yet? The brilliant, gorgeous professor, who also happened to know his way around a medieval jousting pole, was going to be quite a catch for someone one day.
Did Harry have the same hang-ups about love as his older brother? Had his parents’ marriage—and its end—taken as big a toll on him? Or had Alec taken care of everything so that Harry could escape into his books?
“It was nice to get out of my greenhouses for a little while, actually.” She grabbed the potted plants she’d brought for each of Alec’s siblings before kicking her door shut and heading up the stairs. “I’m really looking forward to seeing everyone.” She handed him a green pot. “This is for you.”
“You didn’t have to bring me anything.” But he looked pleased that she had.
Suzanne and Roman called their names from around the corner. “It’s so good to see you again,” Suzanne said as she enveloped Cordelia in a warm hug. “Is one of these for me?”
Cordelia laughed, appreciating how direct Suzanne was. “I remembered you were admiring the chenille plant during the garden tour last week,” she said as she handed her the blooming plant in the hand-thrown pot.
“You’re the best,” Suzanne said. “No wonder Alec is crazy for you.”
Cordelia nearly dropped the third pot she was holding for Drake and Rosa. Had Alec said something about his feelings for her to Suzanne? And did his siblings know they’d slept together? She couldn’t see Alec as someone who would kiss and tell, though, not even with his family.
“I like your brother a lot too.”
Grinning, Suzanne craned her neck to see into the house. “Is he here yet?”
“Not yet,” Harry said as they headed in. “Drake and Rosa are on their way from a meeting at her foundation that ran a little long.” To Cordelia, he said, “Rosa has recently put together a foundation to fight online bullying.”
Cordelia didn’t pay much attention to celebrities, but Rosa’s story had been so big even she couldn’t miss it. “I think that’s great.”
“We all do,” Suzanne agreed. “Oh good, Harry, you’ve got a bottle of red open already. Just warning you guys, but after the crap day of coding I just had, I may polish off one of these all by myself.”
It could have been so easy to be intimidated by Alec’s family, to feel as though growing and selling plants couldn’t measure up to their huge successes. But they were all so easygoing. Even Alec, when he forgot to brood, she thought with a small smile.
Harry’s house wouldn’t have looked out of place in England, with comfortable leather chairs and thick rugs and leather-bound books covering every surface. The space fit him really well—it was cozy yet masculine—although Cordelia couldn’t help but be struck by the fact that it seemed a bit lonely. It was the perfect bachelor pad. Only, did Harry still want to be a bachelor?
A knock came at the door and Cordelia’s heartbeat immediately kicked up in anticipation of seeing Alec’s handsome face. When Drake and Rosa appeared instead, she hoped no one could see her deflate.
There were hugs all around, she gave them their potted plant, and soon everyone had a drink in their hand and were relaxing into their seats. Everyone except Cordelia. Alec could just be late. But something told her his absence had nothing to do with losing track of time.
Harry’s phone dinged, and he pulled it out of his pocket. She already knew what it said, even before he told them, “Alec just canceled.”
“We’ll see about that,” Suzanne said, her mouth tightening into a flat line as she quickly typed a message into her phone. Within seconds, she got a reply. One that made her curse. “He doesn’t have time for this right now?” She made quotes in the air. “Does he actually think I’m going to let him get away with this? That any of us are?” She shoved her phone into her bag and started to get up. “Swear to God, I’m going to drag him here.”
“Suz.” Harry put his hand on her arm. “You know he didn’t want to be a part of putting on this party.”
She made another sound of frustration before dropping back to the couch. “Dad is trying so hard. Why can’t Alec see it?”
“He does.” Drake reached out to put his hand over Suzanne’s. “You know his experiences, his childhood, were different from ours, that he was old enough to see it all go down and remember everything that happened. That’s why you’ve got to cut him some slack with this, Suz. We all do.”
“I’m not saying he wasn’t a hero for keeping us together after Mom died.” Suzanne’s expression was so sad that if Roman hadn’t already put his arm around her, Cordelia would have. “I just don’t think it’s good for him to keep pushing Dad away forever. Not just Dad, but all of us.”
That was when Suzanne suddenly seemed to remember that she wasn’t just with her family, shooting Cordelia a look.
But Cordelia had already made a decision. She put down her wine glass and announced, “I’ll go see him.” She picked up her bag. “I’ll talk to him about your father’s party. About how important it is. To everyone.” Including him.
“You don’t have to do this,” Harry said. “He’s our brother and this is our mess.”
“Alec bent over backward to help me last week. He was there for me before I even knew I needed him. Now it’s my turn to be there for him.” She gave Harry a small smile. “Even if he doesn’t know he needs me, I do.”
Harry held her gaze for a long moment, one where she was pretty sure he was taking her measure, weighing whether she was up to the task of turning the tide with his brother. “Okay then, the rest of us will work out the details for everything we can figure out without your or his input.” Harry walked her to the door and stood on the front step watching her as she went to her car. She was just getting in when he said, “Cordelia?” She turned to look up at him. “Thank you.”
“You don’t have anything to thank me for yet.”
“You care about Alec.” Harry’s expression was full of emotion. “That’s already enough to be thankful for.”
* * *
Alec poured himself a second double shot of whiskey and downed it in one fiery gulp. Soon, he hoped, he’d be drunk. Drunk enough to sleep. Drunk enough to stop the mental playback of his parents when he was a kid, happy times that he’d forgotten ever existed until he was back on the beach at Fire Island last week. Drunk enough to forget about his father’s party. Drunk enough to stop thinking about Cordelia.
But no amount of work, no amount of exercise, no amount of alcohol was doing a damn thing to erase her from his system. She was there in every second of every day, in his office talking about his shark smile, on the tarmac marveling at the planes, in the shower with the hot spray dripping down her luscious curves. Most of all, she was there in his head, making him feel like the world’s biggest jackass for bailing on his siblings tonight, for not wanting to be a part of his father’s big birthday celebration.
Why was he even bothering with the shot glass? He’d need to pour the entire damned bottle down his throat to find even the slightest relief. Which was exactly what he was about to do when his doorbell rang.
He knew. Knew. It wasn’t his sister. Wasn’t one of his brothers. Cordelia was standing out there. Coming to call his bluff. Coming to say to his face what no one else had the nerve to say.
That he was a selfish SOB. That he needed to suck it up for one night and cook a meal for his father and family. That he shouldn’t have gone dark on her all week. That he was a coward for hiding in his penthouse apartment with a bottle of whiskey.
Dropping the bottle on the counter, he stalked over to the door and yanked it open. Her eyes went wide for a split second as she took in his state of disarray. He’d ripped off his suit when he got home and couldn’t be bothered to put on more than a pair of faded jeans. His feet were bare, his hair was standing on end from running his hands through it, and he was all but breathing fire.
“What part of I’m busy didn’t you get?”
“The part where I missed you too much to care.” She walked past him, put her bag down on his entry table, then turned to him. “It’s nice to see you, Alec.”
God, she sure knew how to turn him inside out. Especially when seeing her was the best thing that had happened to him in seven days straight.
He followed her into the kitchen. “Want a drink?”
“Thanks, but I have to drive home, so I’d better not.”
No. He didn’t want her going anywhere. Didn’t want her leaving him. Not tonight.
“In that case, I’ll drink yours.” He poured another shot and threw it back.
“Come sit with me, Alec.” She reached out toward him. “Tell me about your week.”
He wanted nothing more than to sit with her. But that was a lie. What he really wanted, more than anything in the world, was to drag her onto his lap, tear off her clothes, and bury himself in her.
The only way to stop himself from doing that was to convince her to leave. And the only way to convince her to leave was to be an ass. An even bigger one than he’d already been this week.
He shoved his hands into his pockets. “You’re not here to find out about my week. You want to know why I bailed on the meeting tonight.”
“Actually, I want to know both things. But if you want to start with tonight, I’m all ears.”
She was one cool customer. Tough too. So much tougher than he’d thought on that first day he’d seen her standing on the sidewalk outside his office building.
“I’m still going to cook for the party,” he told her. “Harry, Suz, and Drake are perfectly capable of working out the rest of the details without me.”
“Of course they are.” She looked at him as if he was missing a screw. Which, honestly, was how it felt, with all the whiskey swimming around in his system and her ridiculously delicious floral scent mucking up the brain cells that were still functioning. Her formfitting white jeans and silky top weren’t helping any by showcasing every beautiful curve. “That’s not why they wanted you at the meeting tonight. They were hoping that this party would help you get closer to your dad.”
“They know better than to hope for something that’s never going to happen.” Alec deliberately turned away from her and walked toward the floor-to-ceiling glass that looked out on the lights of the city.
“Then you should have gone to Harry’s house and told them that.” He heard her footsteps, knew she was coming closer. Every muscle in his body tensed in an internal struggle to keep from reaching for her. “They might not have liked hearing it, but they would have understood.” She was standing beside him at the window now. So close that her shoulder, her hip, were nearly touching his. “Just like you should have told me you needed space, instead of just disappearing this week.” He could feel her eyes on his face and was powerless not to meet her gaze. “I would have understood.” She licked her lips. “I do understand.”
Everything crashed down around him in that moment. His pride. His frustration.
His self-control.
“I’m sorry.” If only he could draw her against him, feel her heart beating against his one more time. “You deserve better than that.” His throat felt raw, but not because of the whiskey. Because of the shame of having hurt her. “Better than me.”
The last thing he expected was to see her roll her eyes. “Seriously, you’re going to have to work a lot harder than that to get rid of me. I’m your friend. You’re my friend. Sometimes friends freak out, screw up, go dark for a while. This time it was you. Next time it might be me. But that’s okay, because one blip, one mistake—doesn’t mean our friendship is over.”
“What does it mean?”
“That’s up to both of us.” She looked at him with those bright green eyes that never held anything back. “What do you want, Alec?”
He knew he shouldn’t allow himself to say it. Knew he should keep his answer locked inside. But he also knew that he might never sleep again or ever manage to sober up if he didn’t get out the truth.
“Tonight, all I want is you.”