Roark
As I lay on the cot in Medical, Kiah kept insisting on taking care of me. I did not want her here, but before I could ask her to leave, Lara showed up. I knew what it looked like, yet instead of saying anything, I let her believe what she wanted to.
Zorvak shot me an angry glare, and then Lara surprised me by walking over. She looked so beautiful, so confident—but I felt her pain. When she leaned down, her hair brushed my good cheek and I inhaled her comforting scent. Letting her go was the hardest thing I have ever faced, and then she whispered words meant for only me, first in my ear, then in my mind:
“You are alien to me, and I never fell in love with your looks. I fell in love with the caring man who made me feel so special, protected, and loved. I would’ve moved heaven and Earth for you.”
You win Roark.
After leaving me alone when we arrived, letting some other woman take care of you…you win.
I did not want to win; I wanted Lara to find someone more deserving of her. But she had said she loved me, and my heart swelled, although I said nothing. She loved me.
Stretching my senses and tracing the bond, my happiness disappeared when I felt a wave of emotional torment which matched my physical pain. Then she flipped a switch and turned it off. The pain disappeared and I felt nothing, just an empty void as though she no longer existed. She had learned how to block me.
My heart twisted as I watched her walk out of my life, and only then did I understand that I had made a terrible mistake. I needed to go after her, but just as I tried to do so, Kiah placed her hands on my shoulders and gently pushed me back down.
“You cannot get up right now. Not until Jasok clears you to do so,” she said firmly.
Staring at the empty door, I tried to feel Lara. Even her pain would be a welcome relief.
Still nothing.
When Jasok cleared me, I would go after her, I would make this right. She deserved better, but emotionally, I did not know if I could live without her. At least while we were on the flyer, I knew she was close. But now? I felt the loneliness seep in.
Kiah stroked my unhurt cheek. “It will be alright, Roark. I will take care of you.”
I snatched her hand from my face. There was only one female that could touch me, and that was not Kiah.
“Thank you, Kiah, but I really need to be alone.”
Her face fell, but she quickly recovered. “I will be back to check on you.”
Jasok ambled over just as Kiah left the room. “Captain, I have your test results.”
“Can you heal me?” I asked bluntly.
Jasok inhaled deeply, pulled over a chair and sat down, facing me. “Yes, and no. I can heal most of the nerve damage. You won’t have any more pain, but you may have some numbness.”
“And my skin?”
“We do not have the technology to heal the burnt flesh. However, I have spoken with Lord La’qa and he informed me that his bond mate will reach out to her contacts on Jaur. They have much more advanced technology than ours.”
If anyone knew how to heal damaged skin, the Jaurians would, and I knew they would do anything for Cami. So there was still a chance, however small, for complete healing.
Lara’s words kept repeating themselves over and over in my mind:
You are alien to me, and I never fell in love with your looks.
I remembered her having difficulty at first with my red skin. Could it truly be possible that she didn’t care about the permanent scarring?
Closing my eyes, I reached for her again. Nothing. My heart pounded in my chest.
What have I done?
****
Sitting on the cot in medical, I had just slipped one of my boots on when Cami strolled in, Zorvak trailing along behind her.
“Where’s Lara?” she demanded.
“I have searched the mansion and cannot find her,” Zorvak added over her shoulder.
Cami turned. “What do you mean you can’t find her?” Her eyes darted between mine and Zorvak’s.
“Lara’s gone?” I asked, alarmed.
Cami pierced me with an anger-filled gaze. “What the hell did you expect her to do, you…you…”
“Cami,” Zorvak chastised.
She rounded on him in a rage. “Don’t you Cami me! Roark is the asshole here!”
I stood. “Where is she?”
I recalled in horror that when Cami first arrived, she had been kidnapped by one of Zorvak’s enemies. I desperately wanted to reach out to Lara, to ensure she hadn’t met the same fate. Closing my eyes, I hit the same block as before, and my heart ached in my chest. Not knowing if she was in trouble or just blocking me was utter torture.
“Why don’t you tell me?” Cami demanded, hands on her hips.
“I have tried to reach her, but she has blocked me.”
“How is that possible?” she asked, surprised. “I have never been able to block Zorvak.”
Zorvak wrapped an arm around Cami’s shoulders, but held my gaze. I could see the seething anger, hear it in every word he spoke. “Sometimes, when someone has been badly hurt, been…rejected…an automatic protective wall can form, protecting them until they heal enough to handle it better.”
Cami glared at me. “So, you can’t even tell if she’s alive or dead?” I shook my head. “That’s just great!”
She threw her hands in the air, spun around and stormed off.
Zorvak leveled his heavy stare and ordered, “Fix this!” Then he trailed after Cami.
So many mistakes had been made on my part, I did not even know where to begin, let alone how to make it better. Closing my eyes, I forced myself to think as the Captain of the Royal Guard, not someone who had foolishly rejected his bond mate.
At once, I knew what needed to be done. Using the solar shower in medical, I donned my standard white uniform and headed out to find reinforcements.
Voth stood outside Zorvak’s quarters, guarding the royal couple. I nodded as I passed by. Walking outside, I saw the sun had just set behind the mountain top. Saroff trotted over.
“Captain! It’s good to see you are well.”
Ignoring his comment, I asked, “Have you seen the other Human who arrived with us?”
“I have not.”
The two of us turned and walked to the guard shack. Saroff stuck his head inside and briefly spoke to the guard.
“She did pass by here several hours ago,” he said with a frown. “She even waved as she left.”
I looked toward the mountains, and then toward the city. Which way would she choose to go? I gritted my teeth; I should know this about her.
With a whip-cracked voice, I ordered, “Find her!”
“Yes, Captain.”