The Following Week…
Lara
“Come Girgia, do hair.”
Once I got the hang of the learning program, it didn’t take long to learn the basic words of the language called Standard. The device actually encouraged my brain to absorb, which sounded crazy just thinking about it. So now, I could speak enough broken Standard to be understood, and help out with the girls as much as possible.
“I want it like before,” she said, sitting on the floor between my legs.
“You bring string?”
She held up the twine and grinned. Working my fingers through her hair, I wove it into braided pigtails. She always liked it when I did her hair, but pigtails were her favorite.
“You like?” I asked, quickly finishing the second braid.
“It always looks pretty.”
Tying off the other braid, I gave it a little tug. “Finished.”
Girgia jumped up and threw her little arms around my neck. “Thank you, Lara.”
And then she ran down the hallway, probably to admire herself in a mirror.
“Me,” Idlon said shyly.
“Come.” I patted the floor. She plopped down between my legs. Her hair was thinner, shorter, and harder to work with. Now that I had been around both girls, I realized Idlon was definitely younger.
I did the best I could with her thin hair. Her two short braids stuck out on the sides, and bits of short hair hung in the back. “Done.”
She didn’t care about how it looked, she just didn’t want to be left out. Turning around, she climbed onto my lap and laid her head on my shoulder. I hugged her tight, holding her close.
I glanced up again to see Ersa leaning against the doorframe, a strange look on her face. “The girls love you.”
I looked down at the crown of Idlon’s head. “What happened parents?”
“My daughter passed away giving birth to Idlon. And their father…” She shook her head as sadness filled her face. “…he couldn’t deal with the grief, so he left.”
I hugged the little girl closer. Some things never changed. “And hard on you?”
She scoffed. “I love those little girls with all my heart. But at my age, it is hard for me to keep up.”
Now that I could understand. The girls, especially Girgia, were a ball of endless energy most days. Idlon, being younger, needed extra sleep during the day.
“I need to tell you something,” Ersa said suddenly, her expression worried.
I nodded.
“I am not sure why, but the Royal Guard has been searching for you,” she continued.
Roark, I thought. Nah…maybe Cami.
“I did not tell you at first,” she added, “nor did I alert them…because I like having you here. The young ones love you so much. I am selfish.” She hung her head.
“Ersa. It fine. You not selfish,” I replied, and smiled.
Her shoulders relaxed visibly.
“Should I let them know that you are here?” she asked expectantly.
“No.”
She smiled, letting out a long breath.
“Alright,” she said, and headed back into the kitchen.
Idlon now slept in my arms, and I kissed her head. I had refused to allow myself even to think about Roark for the past two weeks; between the girls and the learning program, I was able to keep busy, and I passed out from exhaustion at night.
I tired easily nowadays, and my appetite was poor. I had convinced myself that I just wanted them to have most of the food, but that wasn’t entirely true.
Thinking about Roark, I closed my eyes and an extreme sadness washed over me. Was that mine or his? At least there was no pain, except my mending (but still aching) heart.
ldlon stirred in my arms and cried out. I hushed her back to sleep with a lullaby my mom used to sing to me:
“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy, when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away…”
I sung in English, knowing she wouldn’t understand the words. It still worked—she settled down immediately.
Is anyone out there?
My heart leaped when I heard Roark’s deep voice, but as much as I wanted to, I didn’t answer.
Lara, I can feel you now. For so long I have feared the worst. Tell me where you are.
Tears filled my eyes as his voice made me both happy and sad. But I couldn’t tell him. We’d been down that road before and it didn’t turn out so well.
Lara, say something. Anything.
I wanted to—I really did—but my head kept warning my heart not to go down that road again. Everything was great until times got tough, and then he bailed.
I kissed Idlon’s head and thought, Just like your dad did. What kind of man could leave these two sweet little girls?
Suddenly Girgia came bounding down the hall.
“I love it, Lara!” she yelled, waking Idlon, who promptly started crying.
Ersa rushed in behind. “Girgia, you woke your sister!”
“Sorry, Grada.”
I now understood that “Grada” meant grandmother.
“Come, sit.” I patted the floor. Idlon rubbed her sleepy eyes. “What do?”
Idlon was the first to speak up. “Cake. Cake!”
I grinned.
I had taught the girls Patty Cake in English, and they loved it. “Okay, Patty Cake it is!”
I played with the girls until it was time for dinner, then I helped Ersa give them a bath in the tiny round tub and tucked them into bed.
Ersa and I sat around the table sometime later. She studied my face. “You are sad.”
I scoffed. “Yes.”
“Someone hurt you.”
“Very perceptive. Yes.”
“Does this have anything to do with the Royal Guard?”
I laughed. “Ersa, full questions.”
She grinned. “I suppose. I know that Lord La’qa has a Human bond mate, and I am assuming that you are also Human. You have similar features, from what I have seen.”
Okay, no real question there, only observation; I said nothing.
“Are you a Compatible also?”
Compatible…I supposed I was, given what Roark had told me. Still, I didn’t completely understand the term, so I merely shrugged.
“I will take that as a yes.” She stood, and so did I. “Thank you for helping out with the girls.”
“Thank you. Taking me in.”
“You are welcome.”
Ersa headed down the hall while I went to the couch which served as my bed. I pulled the blanket up to my chin and immediately thought about Roark. I didn’t know what to do.
Lara, please talk to me.
I loved hearing his voice, and I wanted to talk to him— I really did—but for some reason, I couldn’t put myself out there again.
If you won’t talk to me, I will talk to you. I am sorry for chasing you away. I honestly thought I would be doing you a favor. I mean, who wants to be tied to someone as scarred as I am? If you stayed with me, I feared it would be out of pity, and I could not do that to you. If I could take my words and actions back, I would.
I closed my eyes, praying that he meant it. But I couldn’t just jump back in. It had been two weeks, perhaps a bit more. Why was he just now reaching out to me? Nonetheless, I smiled when he started talking again.
I grew up with parents who did not care if they made something of themselves or not, and because I was a little ashamed, I have not introduced them to anyone. I know what you are thinking—I am a terrible son. I never understood how they could be happy without striving to be their very best. But they are. When I finally find you—when I earn your forgiveness—I want you to meet them.
I closed my eyes and listened to story after story. Why was he doing this to me? How could I keep refusing when he shared intimate details about himself?
The female in medical, the last day I saw you? She was just a friend. You showed up before I could send her away. When you walked away, I tried to get out of bed to get after you, but I could not. And then you were gone. I knew immediately that I had made the biggest mistake of my life. And somehow, you blocked me completely.
I have had everyone searching for you, yet you have evaded the guards. I am not sure how you have managed that—I personally trained over half of them, and they are excellent.
His arrogance made me smile. He talked a little longer, and I drifted off into a restful sleep.