Ripley
Brock’s and Alex’s voices drift through the open kitchen window while I do dishes from dinner. These past three days have been amazing. Brock and Tiny have spent a lot of time with us. Every day, he’s had dinner with us or we’ve met for lunch. He didn’t sleep over, which was his choice, not mine, but I knew it made sense with Alex, especially since we really haven’t made plans for a future together. Also, with Alex home, there has been no sex. Yeah, we did it the first time with him sleeping upstairs, but that was one time and quick.
We’re getting to know each other again, and it’s been effortless. Of course there’s a gap between us, which is my fault. Seeing him and Alex together hurts more than he could ever possibly know. What will he do when he learns my son was conceived out of hate? I’m torn on what I should do, but I decide I’ll just have to worry about that when the time comes. After drying my hands off, I toss the towel on the counter then grab a couple bottles of water and step out back.
Brock is standing at the edge of the yard and Alex has his arm wrapped around his thighs. My heart starts beating wildly in my chest and my eyes turn glassy as I watch Brock reach out and rest his hand on Alex’s head while smiling down at him.
I wasn’t surprised last night when Brock told me he just recently broke things off with his girlfriend. It hurt a little, but I pushed that hurt back because it’s been six years and I couldn’t expect him to be celibate that whole time. Lord knows I wasn’t, but neither of us has loved someone else.
Stepping up to my guys, I wrap my arms around them both. Brock’s lips touch my forehead, and I want to melt into a puddle right now. “Do you guys want to get ice cream?”
Alex arches back and screams, “Yes!”
“Baby no screaming. Go wash your hands and we’ll go.” My son takes off into the house and Brock chuckles. I tilt my head back to look at him. “Is that okay? He’s gone a month without any accidents at night.”
We lock up then I grab Alex’s booster seat out of my car and take it to Brock’s truck. He takes it from me then lifts Alex and places him in it. He gives Tiny a boost and he saddles up right next to his buddy, resting his big head on Alex’s lap. I can only shake my head at their cuteness. Before I climb in, I grab my phone and snap a quick photo of them. I feel Brock’s hands on my waist as he says, “Let me help you in.” He even takes the time to buckle me in and then kisses my lips before shutting me in and walking around to his side.
Neither of us speaks on our way to Whiley’s, but that’s only because Alex is talking non-stop. Of course, it wasn’t to either of us—it was to Tiny.
“Tiny can you eat ice cream? I get ice cream ’cause I didn’t go potty in my bed at night. Now I get to wear big boy underwear like Uncle Jonah. Uncle Jonah says big boys stand up to pee, girls sit, and I’s not a girl because I have a penis.” I cover my mouth to choke back the laugh that wants to slip past my lips. Brock, on the other hand, doesn’t hide his, and I’m glad. It’s such a deep, rich sound, and it soothes my soul.
When we reach Whiley’s, I climb out while Brock comes around and gets Alex. Luckily there is an order window outside so we can bring Tiny up to the counter. I order three ice cream cones, but before I can pay, Brock is handing the girl his card. I give him an irritated look but keep my mouth shut. What does he do? He gives me that cocky grin I secretly love.
I take Tiny’s leash from Alex and hand him his cone. This dog is so smart and obedient that he comes over and sits right next to me. Brock hands me my cone and then brings two more over, holding one of them out to Tiny, who inhales it in two slurps. “Oh my God, he’s a pig.” I laugh. “Doesn’t he get brain freeze?”
“No, I swear he swallows the whole damn thing all at once.” Brock grabs Alex’s hand and we walk across the lot to a picnic table. The three of us sit on the bench side by side, with Alex tucked in between us. Alex holds up his cone and it’s starting to drip, so I take it from him and lick all around it to stop the ice cream from running down the side. I hand it back to him and find Brock staring at me with a heated look.
My cheeks heat up and I quickly look away, not missing his chuckle.
Brock comes walking quietly down the stairs after checking on Tiny and Alex, both of whom were passed out. I love that dog and how gentle he is with my son. It doesn’t matter how hard Alex plays with him—running back and forth in the yard, playing fetch, or running through the house—Tiny is extremely gentle and careful with Alex. When I tucked Alex in, Tiny was already getting settled next to his bed. I could tell Tiny really wanted to be in the bed with Alex, but unfortunately his racecar is just not big enough.
He comes and sits next to me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders.
“Are they both still asleep?”
“Yeah, poor Tiny really wants in that bed. Right now he’s asleep with just his head on the mattress. It looks fucking uncomfortable, but he wouldn’t move when I tried. He’ll move if he needs to.”
I lace my fingers with his and pull his hand to my mouth, kissing his palm. “When do you go back?” I’ve tried to avoid thinking about him leaving, but it’s always been there in the back of my mind.
A heavy sigh leaves his lips. “A week and a half. It takes two days to drive because of Tiny.”
Tears fill my eyes, but I don’t let them fall. “And you have to decide if you want to stay in longer or be discharged?”
“Yeah, and the more I’m away, the more I don’t really want to re-up, but I’m just not sure.”
My stomach sinks; I’m not enough of a reason for him to want to come back. God, that’s such a whiny bitch thing to feel, and it’s not like he’s promised me anything. When starting all this, I knew there was a strong chance he’d leave. I just need to guard my heart and keep it from getting broken, though who am I kidding—it’s probably going to happen anyway
I wake up groggy and disoriented, and Brock is smiling down at me. “Nice nap?”
A huge yawn has my jaw making a cracking sound, and then I stretch my arms above my head. When I put my arms down, I catch him ogling my breasts and I smack him in the chest. “Perv!”
Brock moves quick like a snake, and suddenly I’m on my back and he’s on top of me. He wiggles his eyebrows at me, making me laugh.
“Gross, you know I hate that.” Brock used to do that all the time when we were younger, and it always made him look like a creeper. He buries his face in my neck, kissing my skin softly. “Mmmm . . .” I moan before he moves his head so we’re eye to eye.
“I love your eyes,” he says quietly. “I love that your son has your eyes.”
I grab his face and pull him down until our lips meet. For so long, I dreamt of this, of Brock and me just like this. I need to stop thinking of what was; it’s not like we can go back in time and change things. I focus on the kiss, which ends way too fast for me.
“I should go before I break my own rule and take you upstairs.” He climbs off me and I don’t miss the erection straining against his basketball shorts. God, I was turned off from sex for a long time, but now I feel like a horny teenager.
He helps me stand up and hugs me to him. “Can I take Alex for a little bit tomorrow afternoon?”
My heart melts because he wants to spend time with my son. “Sure. He’s got preschool until eleven. I’ll let Mom know and she can meet you somewhere with him. You can keep him however long you want.” I close my eyes. “God, that sounds terrible. I mean, you just met him, but honestly there is no one on this planet that I’d trust more with my son.”
He grabs my shoulders in an almost punishing grip. I look up at him and wonder if he’s angry. “You don’t know what it means to hear you say that. He’s protected when he’s with me, that’s a promise.”
“I know.” That’s all I say, because I truly don’t need to say anything more. We walk to the door and I am so tempted to ask him to stay, just so he can hold me. I sleep better when he holds me.
He kisses me slowly before his eyes pop open. “Shit, I almost forgot my dog.” I turn my head and cough, trying to cover up my laugh.
Brock tickles my side. “Oh you think that’s funny, do you brat?” He moves to stand at the bottom of the stairs and gives a low whistle. Seconds later Tiny comes slowly down the stairs, and if it’s possible for a dog to look grumpy, then that is what I would say is wrong with Tiny. He completely ignores Brock but comes over to me, butting his head against my hip.
“Oh you big baby. You’ll get to see your buddy tomorrow.” He snorts and then looks up at me. “You’re so stinking cute, you big moose.” I kiss the gorgeous dog’s head and then Brock one more time before watching them disappear outside. I lock up then head upstairs, smiling widely the whole time.