Brock
As I drive down Ripley’s mom’s street, Ripley’s words from last night replay in my head. I’m extremely humbled by the fact that she didn’t even hesitate when I asked if I could take her son, that she trusts me with him. I pull into the driveway and before I reach the front door, her mom is opening it. “Hi Brock. Someone is very excited about spending the afternoon with you. Come on in.”
I step inside and it’s déjà vu. Nothing has changed except for a few pieces of furniture, and there’s a whole wall covered with pictures of Alex. When Rip and I were together before, I spent more time here then I did my parents’ home. Of course, who could blame me when choosing between staying home and watching my mom cater to that piece of shit or coming here where Rip’s dad was always hugging her mom and touching her lovingly.
We had so many laughs here, and they never once made me feel unwelcome, even after we came clean about having sex. Instead of yelling, her dad walked me out back where we talked man to man about being responsible and making sure Ripley was always protected. I had been sure it was to kill me and bury me under the oak tree in their back yard, but thankfully, it wasn’t.
“Brock!” Alex comes tearing down the hall, barreling right toward me. He launches himself at me and I bend down to catch him. I relish the feel of his skinny arms wrapping around my neck and squeezing me tight. “What are we doing?”
“I thought you might want to help me give Tiny a bath.”
Mrs. Brown speaks up. “Aww . . . what kind of dog is Tiny?”
“He’s a large Great Dane, Mrs. Brown.” I chuckle at her wide-eyed expression.
She places her hand on my arm. “You don’t have to be so formal. You can call me Margo.”
“Okay, thanks . . . Margo.” She excuses herself, saying she’s going to get Alex’s backpack. “So what do you say Alex, can you help me give him a bath?”
He looks at me with a serious expression on his face. “Yes. He’s my best friend so he won’t mind if I do it.” Alex is very matter-of-fact and it cracks me up.
Margo returns with a little backpack that has puppies wearing hats all over it. “He’s had lunch and a nap so he should be good to go. Alexander, you be a good boy for Brock. Use your manners and listen when he tells you things.”
I set him down and he runs to his grandma to hug her tight. “I will. I promise.” He comes back to me and grabs my hand. “Let’s go, Tiny’s waiting for me.”
“Okay bud, let’s get out of here.” I turn to say goodbye to Margo and see her eyes are bright like she’s going to cry. “Thanks Margo.” I reach out and grab her hand, giving it a squeeze to convey that everything is all good.
“You boys have fun.” Her voice cracks but she pushes through and gives us a smile.
On the way out to my truck, I grab his booster seat and get them both buckled in. He chatters happily in the back seat, talking so fast that all I catch are the names Mommy, Uncle Jonah, You, and Tiny. “Then I get to wear a penguin suit and walk Mommy down the aisle. She’s Uncle Jonah’s best girl!”
Ripley mentioned that Jonah was getting married in a couple of weeks. She asked me to be her and Alex’s date, but I’ll be back in North Carolina because the following week I have to go in and sign my re-up papers—if I sign them. Talk about shit timing; spending the night dancing with her and hanging with Alex sounds like an amazing time.
When we reach my grandparents’ house, I grab him out of the back and carry him inside. Tiny comes barreling into the living room, somehow halting his huge body just before reaching Alex. Of course, the kid doesn’t care and throws his arms around Tiny’s neck. “I’ve missed you Tiny!” he practically screeches.
My granddad comes into living room a moment later. “Well hello Mr. Alex. Tiny has been waiting for you to get here. I bought him a new rope toy, should we take it out back?” My granddad holds his hand out to Alex and I follow the three of them out into the yard.
Back and forth, they run and run, and I stand at the bottom of the stairs next to my granddad, watching. Tiny has a look of pure joy on his face—how I can tell, I don’t know, but I just can—and Alex is smiling wide as he tosses the rope toy for Tiny to fetch.
“He is such an adorable little boy. Where’s his father?”
I rub the back of my neck. “I don’t know. We haven’t really talked about it. I don’t think he’s involved, which I can’t understand, because who wouldn’t want to be in this child’s life?” Alex runs to me and stops right in front of me.
“Brock can we gib Tiny his bath now? He’s bery bery dirty.” How can I tell him no when he looks at me with those eyes that are so like his mother’s?
“Yeah we can give him his bath. You stay out here with my grandpa and Tiny while I get everything ready, okay? After we’re done, we can take him for a walk.”
Alex pumps his little fists in the air before he takes off running again. “That boy does not seem to slow down.” My eyes follow him as he runs back and forth.
“You were the same way, always into stuff, always busy. Even now, don’t think I I’ve missed that you don’t sit still for very long.” That’s true, except when I hold Ripley in my arms.
I pull my phone out of my back pocket and shoot her a quick text.
BROCK: Hey just wanted to check in and tell you that Alex is running around the back yard with Tiny and we’re getting ready to give him a bath.
It takes a few minutes before she responds.
RIPLEY: Awww, that’s great. I have a question.
BROCK: Shoot
RIPLEY: Jonah invited us over for dinner tonight and I wanted to see if you’d like to come with us.
The guy has clearly changed since school and I have a lot of respect for him, taking care of Ripley and then Alex the way he has.
BROCK: Sure. Why don’t you text me when you get home and we’ll come by and scoop you up.
RIPLEY: Okay that sounds like a plan. You boys have fun.
I set my phone in the house so I don’t get it wet and grab the dog’s shampoo and brush. Then I go to the garage to get the baby pool I bought to bathe him in, drag it all to the back yard, and then grab the hose. The day is hot and humid, which isn’t uncommon for a Midwestern summer, but considering I’ve dealt with much worse conditions, this is nothing.
After filling the bottom of the pool with water, I call Alex over. “Bud, I need your help. Can you take your shoes off for me?” He kicks off his little sandals. “Okay, do you want to be in the pool or hold the hose?”
“Pool!” I chuckle. I pick him up and place him in the pool, and Tiny jumps in right behind him. “Okay, I need you to take this glass and fill it with water then pour it all over Tiny. Can you do that?”
Alex nods, bends down to scoop the water up, and then dumps it on Tiny. This goes on for a while before I start using the hose. Once the dog is wet enough, I strip out of my t-shirt, toss it aside, and grab the shampoo. When I turn around, I find Alex pulling his shirt off too. He holds both of his arms up like he’s flexing his muscles.
“Let’s get him washed up, tough guy.”
Alex is bobbing his head to the music in his booster seat in the back seat of my truck. I had such a good time hanging out with him today; he’s only four, but so smart and really funny. Ripley’s always been like that, so naturally her kid would be the same.
After scrubbing Tiny and letting Alex spray him off, the kid and I were both soaked, but he was smiling so big I couldn’t help but return it. His clothes were sopping wet, so my grandma got him changed out of them and threw a t-shirt on over his head—it swallowed him whole, of course—so she could throw his stuff in the dryer.
While that was going on, she made us peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Alex sat on the counter, his legs swinging back and forth while he munched happily. I’m not sure if it’s possible to fall in love this quickly, but I swear I’ve fallen in love with this kid.
My grandma watched him with a bright smile on her face and asked, “Alex do you go to preschool?”
“Yep! Miss Sarah helps me learn my ABCs.” He started singing the alphabet song and did a little head bob while he did it.
“That’s very good honey. How’s that sandwich?”
“It’s yummy.”
Once Alex’s clothes dried, my grandma helped him dress, and they joined me, my granddad, and a now dry Tiny. We took the dog for a walk and when we got back, it was time to head toward Ripley’s to get her for dinner. I’m still surprised Jonah invited me, but then again, he is full of surprises.
We reach Ripley’s place and I pull up in front of the house then watch Ripley step out a moment later. She smiles as she makes her way to my truck, but she doesn’t go to the passenger door; she goes to Alex’s behind me and pulls it open. “Hi Monkey.” She leans in and kisses Alex’s face, and the look on his little face when he sees his mom makes me melt.
“Mommy I had so much fun. I gabe Tiny a bath.”
“You did, how fun! Were you a good boy today? Did you learn lots?” I smile as I continue to watch their interaction. Ripley finally climbs in and then surprises me when she leans toward me and kisses me quickly before buckling her seatbelt.
“How was your day?” I ask as I start driving down the road.
“It was good but busy. Our office manager bought us lunch today since we all pretty much worked through it. Was he okay today? He can get a little wound up sometimes.”
I grab her hand and give it a squeeze. “He was great. We had a good time. My grandma was trying to spoil him.”
Ripley gives me Jonah’s address when we’re a few blocks away, and I’m a little surprised he lives in quiet, middle-class neighborhood; in high school he lived in a huge house in a really nice neighborhood. I pull into the driveway of a nice-looking ranch-style home that’s landscaped with bright fragrant flowers and well-maintained shrubbery. I climb out and move to grab Alex out of the back seat.
The boy bolts for the door, hollering for his uncle. I help Ripley down and we make our way to the front door, holding hands as we walk. She doesn’t even knock, just walks right in. Jonah’s got Alex over his shoulder and comes to greet us. “Hey guys. Rip, I think this belongs to you.” He tickles Alex’s side.
I don’t know why, but when Rip gives Jonah an innocent kiss on the cheek, I want to punch him and get her away from him. Instead, I hold out my hand. “Thanks for inviting me.” Ripley heads to the kitchen with Jessica, leaving me alone with Jonah.
He shakes my hand and says, “You bet. Do you want something to drink? I’ve got water, regular soda, diet soda, or juice. I don’t really drink that much so we don’t keep it in the house.” He grabs us both waters and gives me a quick tour. Their home isn’t stuffy or pretentious; it’s actually very homey and comfortable looking.
They’ve got three bedrooms: the master, one Alex uses when he sleeps over, and one that’s Jonah’s office. “What is it that you do?” I ask him, assuming he’s some lawyer or business type.
“I’m a sports blogger, podcast host, and freelance sports reporter for the paper.” That’s when I notice the pictures on the wall of Jonah with several famous athletes. I walk to a picture that catches my attention—it’s an eight by ten of Ripley with the biggest smile on her face, standing in front of Aaron Rodgers. She is a diehard Packers fan and so was her dad. I went to a few games with them, but I am a Bears fan.
Jonah steps up next to me. “That was her birthday two years ago. She thought going to the game with me was her present, but I had the opportunity to talk to Aaron so I brought her with me. I told him it was her birthday so when I brought her in, they brought her a jersey he signed for her and she was so excited. Every Sunday the Packers play you’ll see her wearing it, and she’s never washed it, just so you know. She just sprays it with Febreze.”
“In high school she’d wear my jersey on Thursdays before a game. She said it was to rub her good luck all over it.”
“I remember that. I’ve never met someone who can be such a girly girl but also a tomboy. Jessica tolerates sports, but Rip knows players, positions, and statistics better than some guys I know. My fans love it when she’s on my podcast. We spend most of the time arguing, but they all love it.” He leads me downstairs into the finished basement.
Huge comfy-looking recliners sit in front of a giant flat screen. “Jessica and I spend a lot of time down here when Alex stays over. He loves doing movie nights.” Why is Jonah nervous? The guy has been talking my ear off since we got here, and it’s not a bad thing, especially since I’m beginning to like the guy, but it does make me wonder if he thinks I’m going to hurt him or something.
We turn toward the stairs as Alex comes running down them. “Uncle Jonah! Can we watch a movie?”
“Not right now. I’ve got to start cooking the meat. How was school today?” The three of us make our way back upstairs.
“It was good. I got to gib Tiny a bath, have peanut butter jelly sandwich, and then Brock took me for a walk.” Jonah looks at me.
“I asked if I could have Alex for the afternoon. He helped give my dog a bath.”
We find the girls gabbing and laughing while putting together side dishes. Jonah grabs the tray of burgers and signals for me to follow him with a jerk of his head. Alex stays inside with his mom.
“I want to apologize,” Jonah says, and my eyes fly to meet his.
“For what?”
He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. “For everything. I was a dick to you in school, and I openly hit on Ripley. I talked a lot of shit. I’ll never forgive myself for that night. I was drunk and had taken some pills, and the asshole in me was in full effect.” He rubs a hand across the top of his head. “I’ll never forget the feel of her body as she went unconscious and fell into mine. I will never forget the look on your face after it happened. You looked devastated, and I caused that.”
“Man, it was a long time ago. There are no hard feelings, I promise.” I don’t want to talk about that night anymore.
“She was in such bad shape after you left. She was drowning, and I did my best to try to keep her head above water. I tried to take all her pain from her, knowing I deserved it, but she held on to it so tight.”
I hold up my hand and he stops talking. “Listen, it was a long time ago. Clearly you’re not that guy anymore, and the fact that you’re still looking out for Rip means a lot, but don’t let that guilt eat you alive. You think I don’t feel it? You think I don’t feel it every moment I spend with her because eventually I’m going home and need to make some decisions about my life? I know I broke her when I left, but I was so fucking convinced I was going to become my dad, I just had to do something, anything to protect her.” Jonah hangs his head and I step in close. “If the three of us could rewind time and do that night over again I’m sure we would, but had it not gone down like it did, she wouldn’t have Alex, and he’s a great fucking kid.” Jonah looks at me and I don’t miss the way his face pales. “Why won’t she tell me about the dad?”
“I told you, it’s her story, and dude, it’s not easy to hear. Maybe she doesn’t think you’re ready to handle it.” My stomach sinks because the only reason I can think of is that it’s not a pretty story. I don’t want that for my Ripley. I don’t want that for Alex.
“I told you Brock, she’s a fighter; I just wish I could convince her to go back to school. She should be teaching, not working in an office.”
“Doesn’t your fiancée work there?”
“Yeah, but she’s a nurse, and there are a lot more benefits to working in an office setting for her.”
Ripley always wanted to be a teacher, said she wanted to teach kindergarten because it was important to start them off right. I push away the guilt that hits me, because I’m the reason she didn’t finish school.
As I stand there thinking, he throws the burgers on, and then the girls and Alex join us a few minutes later.