She was thirty miles outside of Houston, driving on pure adrenaline when everything hit her at once: the hyperventilating; the death grip she had on the steering wheel; the dizzy fog through which the road in front of her appeared. In a panic, she got off the highway and pulled into the nearest parking lot and turned off the engine.

She gripped the steering wheel so hard that her hands hurt.

That was good. Pain was good. It erased the panic.

Panic.

That wasn’t good.

Breathe.

Breathe!

Breathe dammit!

She let out a loud, ear-piercing scream.

Then the tears came. Rivers of salty streams ran down her face. Uncontrollable sobbing erupted from her mouth. She brought her head against the steering wheel, nose running, eyes blurry, mouth hiccuping uncontrollably. She let it flow. There was no one here to see her. No one to witness her lose control. No one to see her fail.

No Carter.

No mom.

No dad.

No classmates.

No employers.

No one.

No Carter.

Why had she felt so conflicted hearing his words? Law school was her life. It was her future.

Compromise. That’s what he had said. Compromise. How could she compromise when she’d spent so long focused on the ultimate prize? There was no such thing as compromise in her vocabulary. It was why she was top 10% in her class. It was why she had been offered a position at one of the top firms in Houston. It was why everyone was so proud of her.

Even the slightest chance that she was possibly….

Panic.

Breathe!

The exhales came harder and faster, and the turmoil built until—

She quickly opened the car door, jumped out and bent over to vomit, going until there was nothing left but dry heaving. She stayed there, hands on her knees, staring at the result of everything that had happened in the last 24 hours.

How the hell had her life gotten so turned upside down?

* * *

Once she was calm enough to drive without losing it, she started up the car and made the rest of the trip back to Austin, music turned up uncomfortably loud to drown out the crazed thoughts running through her head.

She was exhausted by the time she rolled her suitcase up the stairs and down the walkway to the apartment she shared with April. She barely had enough strength to put the key in the hole and turn the knob.

She was met once again with April and Matt going at it, this time on the couch. This time, early enough in the coitus stage for them to be only half naked. April was straddling a boxer-clad Matt while in nothing but a bra and underwear.

She was too tired to be startled. Instead, she was just angry. All she wanted to do was fall into bed and sleep away all her fears, and now this.

“Oh, for Pete’s sake!” She exclaimed with exasperation. “You do have a bedroom. Have you ever tried, you know, using it!”

They both stared at her in shock, completely unused to a Jordan who was this mean and spiteful. Matt just scrambled from underneath April, while she stood up to confront her roommate, hands on hips, totally unconcerned with her state of undress.

“And you aren’t supposed to be back until next week!” she exclaimed. “I’m beginning to wonder if you actually enjoy catching me and Matt going at it.”

“Well maybe if you didn’t feel the need to screw everywhere but your bedroom, I wouldn’t ‘catch you at it’” Jordan retorted.

Matt slowly and wisely made his way to the bathroom.

“Why are back so early anyway? Did Carter Fox finally dump you?” April spat.

Jordan stared at her with shock. She could see the immediate regret in her roommate’s face at what she’d just said, but she didn’t give her a chance to apologize. She angrily rolled her suitcase back toward her room and slammed the door behind her.

She had no idea what had caused such an outburst. Perhaps it had been catching April about to go at it, so carefree. April who was smart enough to be on the pill. April, who would probably never have a pregnancy scare.

Jordan had done Every. Damn. Thing. Right. She’d followed all the rules, worked her ass off. And finally, finally when it was all starting to fall into place….

She thought of that annoying proverb: We plan, God laughs.

Jordan certainly wasn’t laughing.

* * *

It was an hour later when she heard the knock on her door. She sighed. At some point, they would have to kiss and make up. Better sooner than later.

“Yeah,” she called out.

April walked in with two beers.

“Peace offering?” she asked, raising them up.

Jordan gave out a short laugh at the irony, as she sat up from the bed. April took it as a sign of goodwill and strode over to sit on the edge of her bed. She handed Jordan one of the bottles and Jordan shook her head no.

“Thanks, I’m not in the mood.”

April gave her a strange look then shrugged. “More for me,” she said taking a swig out of one bottle and placing the other on Jordan’s bedside table.

“So what’s up?” she asked, “I thought this was supposed to be the Week de la Carter Fox? Did he fuck with you? Am I going to have to drive to Houston and kick his ass?”

Jordan smiled and shook her head. “Nothing like that. It just…it got complicated.”

“Complicated good, or complicated bad?”

Jordan gave her a bewildered look. “What in the world is ‘complicated good?’”

April gave her a conspiratorial smile. “Was he getting too serious for you?”

Jordan blinked at her, not responding.

“Oh come on Jordan,” she said with a sigh. “You put law school above everything! Then Carter Fox of all people wants to spend a week with you, and for some reason, you come running back early. Did he mess with your little plans on being Houston’s number one corporate attorney?”

Jordan shook her head and fell back against the headboard. Was she really that bad? April was pretty much mimicking what Carter had said, and she’d known Jordan for two years.

“It’s complicated, complicated.” Jordan said, not wanting to expound.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” April said taking another swig.

Jordan shot her an annoyed look.

“What in the world is our little Jordan going to do when she finally graduates and starts that job? Conquer Mount Everest? Run for President of the United States? First astronaut to Mars?”

That made Jordan think of Carter and his love of space. She didn’t want to think of Carter. She looked longingly at the beer.

Surely she wasn’t pregnant. She couldn’t be. Not after one time. One time where she wasn’t even trying. One time with a stupid broken condom. One time where maybe only a tiny portion of semen actually made it to home base.

There were women who tried for years to get pregnant. Women who planned and calculated their cycles, so they had sex at the optimum time to get pregnant. Women who couldn’t get pregnant at all.

Why should she be the “lucky” one to get knocked up over a stupid mistake? Heck, it wasn’t even a mistake, they had done everything right!

No, she couldn’t possibly be pregnant.