Chapter 19 - Perceptions
It was the sound of his phone vibrating off his nightstand that woke Ryan up and left him flailing around a bit trying to find the device and find out who was trying to reach him. When he realized he wouldn’t be able to reach it without separating from Emma, he took care to unwind her hand from his shirt and then rolled closer to the edge of the bed. Finally, able to make a grab at the phone, he snagged it just as it vibrated again.
What are you two planning on for tonight?
A text message from Luke. Ryan turned back to Emma more, seeing that despite his movements, she still appeared dead to the world. Using one hand to reach across the bed and stroke her cheek, he smiled when her subconscious reaction was to nuzzle back against his hand. With his free hand, he typed back a response to Luke, letting him know that while he was up for going, Emma was still sleeping.
I could drive you? Unless you want to pass and stay with her?
Furrowing his brows a bit, Ryan gazed back and forth between his phone and his woman. Would she understand if he left without her? Would she appreciate that he didn’t want to pressure her into dealing with his family before she was ready to? Sighing soft to himself, Ryan sent another text back to Luke, telling him he’d meet him outside in about 10 minutes.
With that done, he grabbed his crutches from their spot on the wall and hobbled off towards Emma’s room, grabbing a blank piece of paper from her printer and leaving her a note, explaining where he was and how he got there. He let her know that she was more than welcome to join them but he didn’t want to force her. And if she didn’t want to come he’d understand. Signing it, he maneuvered back into his room and folded the paper neatly, tucking it beneath her hand so that she’d find it when she did wake up.
Using the remaining time to change and clean up, Ryan ended up outside even quicker than he anticipated, and found that Luke had already warmed up his luxury car. “Thanks, I appreciate the ride,” he murmured as he slid into the seat.
“No problem.” Luke paused for a moment, then asked in a softer voice, “She still upset with the visit?”
Ryan shrugged a bit. “I think so, but it’s hard to tell with her. She kept trying to apologize for something before she finally fell asleep. I’m hoping she’ll show up later or that we’ll be able to talk more tonight.”
Luke reached over to pat his cousin on the back then resumed the trek to Gabi’s house – soon enough, they were pulling into her driveway, where Ryan reversed the earlier process to ease himself out of the vehicle. This time it was his father holding the door open, and he gave him half a hug before continuing inside, automatically moving straight to the reclining chair.
“No Emma?” His mother questioned as he settled down with a soft sigh.
“She wasn’t feeling well.” Ryan explained softly, hoping he wouldn’t have to elaborate, though he did see Gabi shooting him a look out of the corner of her eye.
“Given how viral that picture of you two kissing went I’m not surprised she’s feeling under the weather. Especially given that no-fraternizing clause in her assignment. I bet she got into some heat at work for that.” Ryan blinked, and then turned to stare at Gabi. He’d known about the clause – they’d discussed it before – but not that there had been pictures of the kiss, or that they’d made the rounds on the web. “Oh yes, little brother. The kiss and your subsequent dazed expression have been allllll over the web. I think people find it endearing.”
I’m sure her boss didn’t find it endearing, Ryan thought to himself, but had the presence of mind not to voice it. Still, he shook his head a bit, wondering what other kind of things Emma was keeping from him.
“Any other interesting tidbits come from that game?” Luke inquired casually and this time Ryan’s eyes were cutting in his direction, where Luke promptly winked at him.
“Not that I’m aware of. Why? You have some news for us too, Lukey? A new girlfriend perhaps?” Gabi teased.
Before his cousin could explain – or try to – Ryan jumped in, answering, “He told the team he was ambidextrous. Because I wouldn’t tell him the right word to say he was bisexual.” He waited a moment, seeing the recognition flash in Gabi’s eyes, and the confused look on his parents' and Devin’s faces. “I wouldn’t give him the right word, because I didn’t want him taking on my burdens. He’s not the bisexual one. I am.”
Luke huffed a bit. “Is that why they were laughing at me when I said ambidextrous? You ass.”
Ryan didn’t immediately respond; he was too busy staring at his parents, trying to gauge their reactions to his sudden announcement. His mother looked confused, while his father seemed almost indifferent? “Mama. Papa?” He finally started, “Say something, please?”
“But you have a girlfriend, yes? Emma?” His mother questioned with her brow still furrowed. “Does this mean you’re looking for a boyfriend too?”
This time it was Gabi jumping in, trying to explain, “No, it means he’s equally attracted to men or women. As it stands right now, his current flame is a woman. Now, if he went through significant others like our darling cousin here, I’d say he could well be looking for a boyfriend too. But I suspect he’s too smitten with Emma to even think about looking elsewhere.”
Blushing rather profusely at her assessment of his feelings, Ryan still managed to mumble. “I’m not looking for a boyfriend. Though, if something was to happen to end my relationship with her and the next person who caught my fancy happened to be male, I would not object to that.”
His mother still looked confused, but a small smile had finally settled on his father’s face. “Whatever makes you happy, son. If that’s men or women, doesn’t matter to me if you’re happy.”
“Papa said what I was thinking,” Devin piped up. “And if anyone ever gives you trouble, you let me know. I’d be happy to give them trouble right back.”
Bringing her palm to her face, Gabi mumbled, “Don’t you be getting any bright ideas, Papa. I don’t want to be bailing all the men in this family out jail.”
~*~
It couldn’t have been more than 5 minutes after Ryan had left that Emma had awakened, aware of his absence, the lack of body warmth against her. And while she found his note, she was less than pleased by its contents. As far as she was concerned, if he had really wanted her there, he would have woken her.
Grumbling a bit and heading off to the kitchen to set his next pill out for him, she soon ended up back in her own bedroom with the door ajar. Changing into her pajamas and setting up the bed so she could just climb into it, Emma waited for her laptop to boot up as she paced around the room. Why had she fooled herself into thinking that she was of any importance to him? Why were his actions so contradictory? Did he only care when they were in the same bed?
Determined to test that theory as the evening progressed, Emma went over to her laptop, still mumbling under her breath as she went to work. Soon, as it began to get even later and Emma wondered if Ryan was ever coming back, she started to work on the Blizzard items. It was random news and notes from the past week, rumors and such and how they affected the team. There had been talk about a higher level team assigning one of their backup goalies down to the Blizzard, which if it occurred would be the team all but confirming that Ryan was done for the season.
As she continued to tap away, she heard talking outside the apartment and moved quick to shut the laptop down and scurry off to bed, trying to make herself appear as naturally asleep as possible. She knew it would take him a few minutes to get inside and get settled, and she hoped that would give her enough time to appear asleep.
~*~
Noting the lights were all off when he finally did get back from Gabi’s, Ryan was disappointed to see that Emma’s door was closed as well. Nudging the door open a bit with one of the crutches, he peered in and saw that she appeared to be sleeping so he sighed soft and headed back to the kitchen to take his pain pill.
Sleeping in her room was not going to be comfortable – there was no two ways around it. Her mattress was old, and since she was positioned on the side he would normally take on his own bed, he wouldn’t even be able to properly face her thanks to his knee. Nonetheless, he made the effort to get into sleep clothes, detouring briefly into the bathroom before heading to Emma’s room for the night.
With the dim moonlight coming in through her windows, Ryan could see that her laptop was sticking out a bit, and not wanting to hit it on his way by, he moved it back further on the desk. When he felt how warm the laptop was, he realized that he’d been duped – she likely wasn’t asleep at all and had likely climbed into bed just before he came in. Again, he sighed but still maneuvered further into the room until he could climb onto the far side of the bed.
He was surprised that despite her attempts at ‘sleeping’ that she still reached out her hand immediately to lay it over his heart. Grabbing her hand with one of his own, Ryan brought her hand to his lips, kissing her knuckles gently and telling her softly, “We need to stop keeping secrets from each other, babe. I wish you’d told me about our picture being all over the web, or how that would get you in trouble at work.”
Despite her best efforts, Emma couldn’t prevent the involuntary flinch at his words and Ryan could only manage a sad smile at her response.
“I’m not going to push you though,” Ryan continued in the same soft tone, kissing her knuckles once more. “But I’m not going anywhere, either.”
He thought he felt a gentle squeeze of his hand in response, but he couldn’t be sure.