Chapter 24 - What's Real?
“Don’t you dare even fucking think about coming over here.”
Ryan sighed as he paced around Luke’s apartment, his cell phone pressed against his ear while he tried to convince his sister to let him see Emma. “We were both drunk. It was sudden, unexpected - not necessarily unwanted - but Christ, it was just a kiss that meant nothing.”
“It never should have happened in the first place, Ryan. God. I can’t even begin to tell you how disappointed I am in you right now. You were raised better than this!”
Sighing again, Ryan shook his head and paced towards the kitchen so he could look out the window to where Emma’s car normally was parked - where it hadn’t been since she’d kicked him out earlier that afternoon. “I love her, Gaba. I can’t have it end like this.” He finally told her softly, turning back away from the window and staring blankly into Luke’s living room. He couldn’t even think of this place as his anymore – his home was downstairs, with Emma.
He could hear an argument of some sort in the background, despite Gabi’s efforts to muffle the phone. Devin wasn’t happy and Ryan had the sense he’d need to avoid his brother-in-law for the foreseeable future if he wanted to keep his face intact. After a few more minutes of the bickering, Gabi finally came back on the line and completely threw him with her next question. “Why didn’t you tell her you were bisexual?”
“Why does that matter?” He almost growled back at her. Again, Ryan could hear Devin’s angry voice in the background and he wondered just what the hell was going on over there. “Gabi??”
“Well, because you’re such a dipshit, and Devin didn’t realize you’d be stupid enough to keep something that important from her. His first assumption when she came over here sobbing was that you’d found someone male to cheat on her with. And that’s the point when it finally sunk in and she really realized that you kissed a man.”
Closing his eyes and sinking into Luke’s couch, Ryan could only groan soft. How was it possible that this situation could have gone from bad to worse? It took him several minutes, but he finally told Gabi softly, “I was afraid once she found out, she’d want nothing to do with me. That she’d be disgusted and want a ‘real’ man.”
“Idiot.” Was Gabi’s immediate response. “Last I checked, and granted, that was when you were still in diapers, you were a real man. A boy at that point, but still. Your attraction to both sexes doesn’t make you any less of a man. Now, that foolish stunt that you and Trent pulled? That might make you less of a man. But you dumbass, she loves you. Not for whatever you two might do in the bedroom, but for your heart, for your character, none of which is affected by if you’re attracted to men as well.”
“Does she still love me?” Ryan asked quietly, almost afraid of the answer.
“I think so.” Gabi answered just as soft, again having a conversation with Devin in the background before she came back on the line. “Give her time, Ryan. Right now she’s hurt, she’s confused, and she needs to work through this. I’ll be by in a bit to pick up some of her stuff. She’s going to be here for at least the next few days. We’ll talk more then.”
“Thank you.” He paused for a long moment and then all but whispered to her, “Take care of her for me, please.”
“You know I will, Turtle.”
~*~
Quite a few hours after Emma had arrived at the Malone household, she awoke in a strange room. It took her several minutes before the events of the day finally came back to her – how and why she’d ended up in this house, why she’d fainted dead away.
It was hard to comprehend how much 24 hours could change everything. She thought her life was damn near perfect, she thought she had the damn near perfect boyfriend.
Only to find out she’d been living the perfect lie.
Finding out that her best friend and her boyfriend had thought so little of her as to make out behind her back was one thing, but then to find out Ryan didn’t even like women? Emma just couldn’t understand how he could pretend to care so much. Had he been playing her all along? Had Gabi and Devin been in on it?
At the last thought, Emma sprang up out of the strange bed and went searching for her hosts, wanting answers to at least some of her questions. Soon, she found Devin – but not Gabi – sitting on the porch swing in their backyard, an open bottle of beer beside him. He looked up when she entered the backyard and patted the spot beside him on the swing.
Instead of joining him though, Emma advanced to the edge of the swing; arms wrapped around herself to try and keep warm, and asked him softly, “Did you know?”
Devin eyed her curiously, frowning a bit before he questioned back, “Did I know what? About his drunken escapades? No because if I had, I’d have given a royal ass whooping for hurting you so badly.”
Shaking her head a bit, Emma looked away from Devin and all but whispered, “No, did you know he was gay?”
“He’s not gay.” Devin replied immediately. “And if I made you think that, I’m sorry. He is bisexual, and I’m still angry at him for putting me in the awkward position of being the one to inform you of that.”
Brow furrowed, Emma finally edged onto the swing and rested her head on Devin’s shoulder, feeling his arm wrap around her protectively. “I’m sorry if this makes me sound naïve. But what’s the difference between him being gay and being bisexual?”
“It’s okay little one.” He told her softly before he answered her question. “Gay, would mean he would only be interested in or attracted to other men. Bisexual means he’s attracted to both men and women. That either could satisfy him, if you will.”
Emma closed her eyes and just thought on that for the longest time, still trying to make sense of everything that happened. If Ryan was indeed bisexual, did that mean he was attracted to her? That was a part she was having a hard time getting past – was his attraction to her ever real?
“Yes. I think it was.” At Devin’s voice, Emma looked up sharply, staring at him with wide eyes. “You were mumbling under your breath. Questioning if what you had with him was real. Despite the fact that I’d like to wring his fucking neck for hurting you, I do believe he genuinely is attracted to you, as I told you many months ago.” He paused, then turned towards Emma and grabbed her chin, tilting her face up so they were looking at each other eye to eye. “And before you get any doubts in that pretty little head of yours as to where my allegiances lie, he may be my brother-in-law, but you are my little sister.”
Managing a small smile at that sentiment, Emma nonetheless pulled her face away from Devin’s hand and rested her cheek against his shoulder again. “I’m just so lost right now, Dev. I don’t know what’s real, what’s fake.” She paused and sighed soft, adding, “I’m just glad we hadn’t had sex yet.”
She could feel Devin bringing his palm to his face before he teased her softly, “And now who needs the brain bleach?”
The small smile grew a little bit more at his teasing and she even managed to chuckle a bit. “Bet you never thought that would be a problem.” As she trailed off though, the smile slid off her face as her mind once again raced, wondering if her sex life – or lack thereof – would ever be a topic of discussion again. Feeling the tears come to her eyes again, Emma pressed her face more against Devin’s shoulder, repeating to him again in a whisper-soft voice, “I just don’t know what’s real anymore.”
“Time will ease the hurt, little one. That’s all I can tell you.”
She could only hope he was right.