I’m so damn excited to see Justin, make sure he’s really okay. Hopefully, I’ll be able to settle in and stay with him while I finish school.

With him around, I won’t spend so much time thinking about Jimmy. They say time heals all wounds, but honestly, it just made my heart break more. I miss him terribly. Just a whiff of leather and whiskey makes my heart ache.

The thought of never seeing him again brings tears to my eyes, not knowing what went wrong or why he suddenly pushed me away. I know he wants me just as much as I want him. I see the way he looks at me, his deep green eyes pull my heart closer to him every day. He has become my first thought in the morning and the last thing I think about before going to bed. My protector, rock, my everything, and now he is gone. I feel the tears about to begin flowing, but today is not the day for sad tears.

The boys are coming home safe and sound, well all except Charlie, who somehow managed to get himself shot. We finally heard from Avery and Amber a few days ago. Apparently, they ran out of the bar when they got the call, but I had no idea. Too wrapped up in my own pain and bullshit to notice what was going on with my friends. Luckily, Charlie is fine, and the girls are “nursing” him back to health. They should all be home soon, just in time for the big baby shower we have been planning for the twins.

Shaking off this swirl of emotions, I finish putting on my mascara and admire my reflection in the mirror. I decide to keep it simple for my brother's homecoming, a simple yellow sundress with simple sandals, and I simply fucking hate it. I would much rather be in jeans and a tank top, riding in Jimmy’s truck with the windows down, music blaring. Cruising down the beach going nowhere, anywhere as long as we were together.

That’s never going to happen, it's time to stop dreaming with my head in the clouds. My brother is coming home, I probably won’t see Katie, Jimmy, or anyone from the team after today unless there is a big function or something. Taking one more look in the mirror; I throw my shoulders back, grab my bag, and head out the door to find Katie. Time to get this show on the road.

Everyone is anxiously waiting for their men to come home, especially Katie. I can’t imagine being pregnant with twins, having my fiance deploy to an active war zone, then having some chick she barely knows move in with her. She has an amazing, giving heart, I will never be able to repay her for everything that she has done for me.

“How are you three holding up?” I throw my arm over Katie’s shoulders, I can feel it vibrate right along with the rest of her.

“This is the hardest part for me. Leaving hurts, but waiting for the plane to touch down and feel his arms around me, that’s killer.”

I start to giggle, “You are beyond excited. You’re practically vibrating. I’m sure those two little ones are just as happy as you to hear their Daddy’s voice.”

A shy smile graces her face, “Logan left tapes for me to play to my belly as it got bigger, but I secretly listened to them as well. He is going to make such a great dad.”

“And you’re going to be the best mom. Look at me. Think of the time I spent with you as practice.”

We both start to laugh, as the sound multiplies exponentially.

“They're here!” Katie takes off toward the hangar doors.

As I follow behind her, I catch a glimpse of Jimmy approaching us. He looks even better than the last time I saw him, my heart is pounding and tears once again threaten to fall from my lashes. All I want is to run to him, have his arms around me, his lips on mine. This is my own personal homecoming, right now at this moment, I realized when I think of home I think of him.

“Afternoon, ladies. You guys look great.” His voice is rougher than normal.

“Oh, Jimmy!” Katie starts crying before wrapping her arms around his neck.

Jimmy chuckles, the sound goes straight to my heart. “I sure hope these are happy tears.”

“Of course they are! He’s coming home, speaking of, I gotta go!”

Katie untangles herself from Jimmy’s arms and continues her trek toward the hanger door. I can’t stand it any longer. “What are you doing here?”

Jimmy stands there staring at me, hands in his pockets. I want to reach out and touch him, I feel the sparks flying between us. “Just wanted to welcome the boys home.”

“Bullshit. Wanna try again?” I can’t help but roll my eyes.

“That’s the truth. I care about what happens to these guys. What happens to all of you.” He keeps watching me, but I’m still not buying it. “Hey, where are the Tornado’s?”

“They flew out to be with Charlie after he was shot. They airlifted him to Germany.” I should probably give him more information if he really is here to see the guys, but I want to know why he’s really here.

“What? Charlie got shot, and no one called me?! What the hell happened?” His concern for Charlie is written all over his face, he really does care about the team. My heart sinks, I was hoping his appearance at homecoming was because he missed me.

“I’m not really sure, you know they won't tell us until they’re allowed.” I sigh, turning to follow Katie. I can’t handle being this close to him anymore, it hurts too much. Justin will make me feel better, even if he doesn’t know what is wrong.

“Fuck. I hope he’s alright, that they won't discharge him.”

Of course, that’s what he’s worried about. Not that Amber and Avery could have lost the man they loved or Logan his best friend, just that the Navy SEALS still got to keep their best man.

“Wait a minute, where are you running off too.” Jimmy grips my arm as I pass him.

“To see my brother, he’s the one man that wants me around.”

I shake him off and continue to make my way out of the hanger. I see the plane starting to come in for a landing, bringing a smile to my face. It’s been a long six months, my big brother is coming home finally to make it all better.

The plane touches down, engines roaring and whipping wind, as the guys begin to make their way off the plane. I can’t take my eyes off all the men, women, and children, running to get closer. I can’t help but worry about Katie running with that big belly, but we’re all family here, someone will make sure she gets to Logan unharmed.

In my excitement, I throw my arms around Jimmy, too anxious to hold still. His arms immediately wrapped around me, pulling me flush against him. I close my eyes and bury my nose into his chest, breathe him in. I know that this moment won’t last long, that my heart will break even further when he pulls away from me, but for now, I’m going to enjoy the feel of being in his arms. Jimmy pulls his head back, resting his forehead against mine, both of us breathing heavily.

“I miss you, Little Bit.”

Unwrapping myself from him, I pull away slightly so I can look into his eyes. I can see the desire lurking behind them, but I won’t be thrown away again.

“I better go make sure Katie found Logan and find Justin. I’m sure he’s looking for me.”

“Little Bit, wait.”

I turn to see how he could possibly want to break my heart any further, but before I can get a word out his lips crash into mine.

I press my body closer against him, my hands grip the sides of his face holding it against mine. My heart pounds so hard in my chest I’m afraid he can hear it over the roar of the crowd. He kissed me, not the other way around. He wants me, needs me, just like I need him.

He’s commanding, controlling the kiss, and my movements. Devouring my lips, demanding entrance with his tongue as he explores my mouth. I close my eyes and let the feeling of him missing me sink in.

Our kiss slows, becomes more gentle as we both come back to reality and remember our surroundings. I’m barely able to compute what has happened when Jimmy unwraps my arms from his neck and takes a step back. I cross mine over my chest, trying to hold the pieces together.

“I can’t take this hot and cold routine with you,” I say in anguish.

No longer trying to hide my pain, I let the tears fall. I stand there staring at him, begging him with my eyes to show me these feelings aren’t one-sided.

I get nothing, he slides his hands in his pockets, turning to watch the rest of the families being reunited.

“Goodbye, Jimmy.” He flinches at my words.

Turning away from him, I head toward the plane and see Justin. I can’t help but smile through my pain as I race toward him and give him a huge hug. He hugs me back. Finally, my true protector is home.

I shouldn’t have kissed her, but when she wrapped her arms around me, the desire to feel her against my body short-circuited my ability to think clearly. If I were stronger, I would have pushed her away, but I’m weak. That little blip of a girl brings me to my knees with just a smile.

I will remember the feel of her flush against my body, the way her lips tasted, everything about her till the day I die. I know what she meant when she said goodbye. It wasn’t just an ‘I’ll see you soon,’ it was ‘get your old ass out of my face.’ I know I keep hurting her, I’m breaking my own damn heart by staying away from her, but it is for the best. Nothing good could come from Emma and I being together, nothing good for her that is.

I notice as she makes her way toward Justin that someone is watching her. He doesn’t fit in here, obviously not from around here. As I make my way toward him, I notice he has his phone lifted, like he’s taking a picture.

“Can I help you son?” I say, startling him.

“Nah, man, just waiting for my cousin.” He fumbles with his phone before shoving it back into his pocket. I stare at him for a little longer before I respond.

“Yeah, we all have someone we are waiting for. Maybe I can help. What unit is he in?”

He gives off a nervous chuckle before responding, “I’m not really sure about all this military stuff. I just came here with my Aunt. She told me to wait here till she came back. I’m sure they’ll be back soon.”

This dude is full of shit.

I don’t want to tip this guy off that I’m on to him, but I can’t leave him here to follow Emma either.

“Alright then, I know the unit commander. Why don’t you come with me? We can get you with your family, all I need is your cousin’s name, and he can locate them for you.”

I give him a reassuring smile as I clap him on the shoulder, ushering him toward the large group in the hanger. He reaches in his pocket before responding, pulling out his phone. “There’s my aunt. She found my cousin. Thanks, man, for the help.” he turns to head back toward the parking lot.

I watch to make sure he gets in his car to leaves before I decide to head back to the bar. I see a few guys on my way out, telling them welcome home as I pass. I really did want to make sure they all got home safely, but she knew I was full of shit. I miss her, if the drinking nightly didn’t help me come to this conclusion, it would’ve been my inability to think of anything but Emma. Now that I know someone is watching her, the desire to protect her is going to get even worse. Hopefully, she lets Justin know sooner rather than later what happened while he was gone. I shake my head as I continue on my trek to the truck, this was the right thing to do. She is better off without me holding her back. She has a future ahead of her and doesn’t need a washed up Navy SEAL tagging behind her for the rest of her life.

How different would today have turned out if I could man up and tell her that I want her, no, need her? Instead of heading home with Justin, she would be heading back to the bar, or better yet my bed. It’s always about what could have been with me, just once I would like to be the one that gets the girl in the end.