Mari
I’m as nervous as the day I lost my virginity to my first boyfriend, maybe even more so. Back then, I think I felt nervous about what was going to happening, about doing something new. Now, here with Cadu, I’m nervous over a number of things: would I live up to his expectations? Would he like my body? What if, what if, what if?
Since the moment he first kissed me against the closet door, I’ve been feeling anxious. As soon as he was in the shower, I quickly put on some clothes and went downstairs. I still wasn’t ready and I knew he wasn’t either, or at least that he didn’t want to change his plans. I went to the game room and decided to put on some music. I couldn’t resist the feeling and I allowed myself to dance and try to calm down. I just didn’t expect to be caught in the act by a sexy barefoot man.
From that moment on, the whole night was a blur. If you ask me what we talked about, what we ate or what we drank, I wouldn’t know how to answer. What I can tell you is that he looks amazing in a black shirt; that his woodsy scented cologne is sexy, a mix of cinnamon, sandalwood, vanilla, and lavender, something that seems unlikely at first, but that eventually brings out the man in him and makes me want to smell his whole body; that those jeans make him even hotter and that never, in the history of the world, I could ever believe I would have a thing for a barefoot man.
Somehow, he got me to tell him my painful story. I’d never really talked about it, but with him it was easy. The words just flowed out and then we were dancing, holding each other, and it just felt right. Well, to me, it wasn’t only right it was perfect. Our bodies touching and swaying to the rhythm of a romantic song under a starry sky wasn’t just right; it was perfect.
Then slowly, that romantic atmosphere became a sensual energy. The electricity between us was so strong you could almost touch it. He held my hair up on the back of my head in a strong grip and kissed me, his strong hold on me in contrast to our smooth kiss. I felt a shiver that went from the base of my spine up to my neck. Then he pulled away and reached out his hand, in a sensual and yet loving invitation, a smile on his face.
“Come, love.”
And I do, fearlessly, not giving it a second thought, even though I know what is coming. He intertwines his fingers in mine, my hand shaking with anxiety touching his strong one, as he guides us down the stairs and into the bedroom that would be ours tonight. When we reach the last step, he lifts me in his arms as if I weigh no more than a feather. I face him and his eyes reflect mine, filled with desire, hunger, passion. And if he feels the same way, love. This is much more than a night of lust, desire, or pleasure. To me, it is about love. About sealing a love that has taken over every inch of my body. Even if the rational part of me was screaming that I could be getting myself into trouble, big trouble, my emotions push all rational thought to the side and tell them to shut up, taking over every and any free space I had in me. Yeah, I am in love. I don’t only like him, nor do I only feel attracted to him. I am hopelessly in love with that man.
He steps into the bedroom, his eyes locked on mine. Slowly, he places me right in the middle of the bed over a pile of soft pillows. Then he just stays there, hovering over me, kneeling on the bed and looking at me as if I was the masterpiece and he was the artist.
“You’re beautiful,” he murmurs, and for the first time, I believe him. I really feel beautiful, desirable, and even sexy right now. He comes closer, his body on mine, until he reaches my lips, first kissing me slowly, savoring me, exploring my mouth, taking his time. When his hands touch the sides of my body, it’s as if an electric charge has hit us both. The kiss grows more intense, like he can’t get enough of me. He runs his hands over my body, leaving goose bumps everywhere. I feel his excitement growing more and more evident under his jeans and I can’t help but moan.
He pulls away, just enough so he can pull off the black shirt that fits perfectly to his well-built body. Cadu throws it on the floor and when he looks at me again and realizes I’m studying the lines of his muscles, he turns on that seductive smile, crowned by those breathtaking dimples.
Still wearing that smile, he focuses his attention on my blue dress. He undoes the tie around my waist and slowly begins to unzip the dress. He unzips it completely, but doesn’t take it off. He checks me out from head to toe and I can’t help but feel a bit embarrassed. I feel my face getting hotter and I close my eyes, fighting that feeling of shame and the impulse of covering myself away from his gaze.
“Mari?” he calls, and I open my eyes again. “Open your eyes. I want to see you, all of you.”
“But . . .” I start, unable to put my feelings into words.
“I want you. I want your pretty smile and your delicious curves. Look at me and see just how much pleasure you give me. No restraints. No shame for who you are, because you won me over. Just the way you are. I want to give you pleasure. I want to make you sigh and groan. I want you to see exactly how you make me feel,” he says, looking in my eyes, his body over mine. He lowers his head, his mouth taking mine in an overwhelming kiss. It’s enough to push away any embarrassment I still feel. My arms circle his neck and my hands twist his dark hair.
I’m completely lost in his touch, and my hands grab his soft hair tighter as my body twitches in pleasure.
He steals a deep kiss while our bodies move frantically against each other. He puts his arms around me and pulls me to him. His eyes are darker now. Slowly, he pulls away and admires my body with a look of lust on his face.
“Beautiful. You’re beautiful, Mari,” he says, studying me. “I’m crazy for you.”
“I’m crazy for you too, Cadu” I answer, anxious to feel him inside me.
The way he looks at me brings out all the desire in me and I push away any shadow of embarrassment I might still have. I circle his hips with my legs, and turn us over, placing him under me.
“Wow,” he laughs, showing off his dimples. “I knew there was a tigress in there somewhere.” I laugh, getting closer to kiss him.
His hands explore my breasts while we kiss, and I rub against him just enough so that the pleasure takes over my body. He holds my hips firmly, intensifying my moves, even though we’re still in our underwear.
We moan louder and louder, until the first wave of pleasure hits me and makes my heart beat faster. I’m ready to take him inside my body when he turns us over, getting on top of me again.
“Open your eyes, Mari. I want to watch you taking pleasure in me,” he says, and I oblige. The touching gets more intense, our kisses grow more urgent, and when he touches me intimately, I hit the edge of passion once more, moaning his name.
We discard the rest of our clothes leaving ourselves bare to the other’s hungry eyes. There’s no shame or embarrassment in our nakedness.
While I’m still pulling myself together, he reaches out to the nightstand and takes a condom from the drawer. He opens it and kisses me deeply again. I feel his erection growing against my body and he pulls away just enough to sheath himself.
He knows I’m ready and he slowly lowers himself against my body, more excited than ever.
“Mari?” he calls as he enters me. I open my eyes, unable to speak, too dazzled with the pleasure he’s giving me. “You’re beautiful,” he repeats. “You complete me. You turn me on,” he continues, intensifying his movements. “I love you, Mariana. Like I never loved anyone,” he says, right when we’re reaching the peak of pleasure, his words maximizing every feeling. “I love you, Mari,” he moans again, taking us to the top. Tears escape my eyes, touched with the intensity of the moment. He faces me, his expressive face showing a mix of pleasure and love. Searching for strength inside myself, I answer him.
“I love you too, Cadu. Very much,” I say, moaning, and he picks up the pace of his movements until we’re both in ecstasy while I scream his name.
Slowly, we return to the real world. His body is on mine, both of us sweaty from the moment. Slowly, he raises his head, his eyes looking for mine as if he’s searching for the truth in what I said while we were making love. I smile at him, pushing away the shadow I see in his eyes. He kisses me slowly, and when he pulls away, there’s still a hint of doubt on his face, until he asks quietly, “Are you sure?” These three words make me see the strong and powerful man I know becoming an insecure little boy, and I love him even more for it.
“I’m absolutely sure. I love you.”
He smiles wide and pulls me into a tight hug.
“And I love you, pretty,” His smile grows, he kisses my lips and gets up. “I’ll be right back,” he says, going to the bathroom.
He returns a few minutes later without the condom, then lies again by my side. Cadu pulls me to him, and I lay my head on his body, listening to his heart beating as fast as mine.
“You have no idea how happy you’ve made me,” he whispers, kissing the top of my head and pulling me tighter. In a few minutes, we fall deeply asleep in each other’s arms.