Cadu
I’m an experienced man, I’ve dated actresses, models, successful businesswomen. But in all this time, none of them has made me feel like I do now with Mari. I may be repeating myself, but she is special. She’s sweet and fun, and I have never been with someone who treats me like she does, like I’m an ordinary guy.
Not that I’m a celebrity or anything. But most people are very careful around me because I’m the editor in chief of one of the best-selling magazines in the country. But not her. Mari treats me like she would treat any other guy.
We leave Barzinho holding hands. It’s a bit chilly now, since it’s the middle of the night, and I feel her shiver by my side. I pull her closer and keep her warm with my body. We walk to the parking lot holding each other and I curse at myself for deciding to come by motorcycle. Thank goodness we won’t be going very far.
We stop by my motorcycle and she gives it a frightened look. I expected a compliment but she surprises me once again.
“We’re riding this?” she asks, and I’m shocked when she calls my Harley a this.
“This is a Harley, and yes, we’re riding it,” I say, giving her the helmet. She looks from me to the helmet as if she has no idea what to do with it. “You wear this on your head, pretty,” I joke and pinch her nose.
She laughs and says, “I know, it’s just I’ve never worn one before. I don’t know how to put it on.” She lowers her eyes, her cheeks turning bright red, and I feel my heart tighten.
“Come here, I’ll help you,” I answer and she comes closer. I take the helmet from her and put it on her head, smiling all the while. When she’s ready, I wait for her to climb on the back of the motorcycle. I feel her soft hands on my waist and before I start it, I say, “You need to hold me closer or you’ll fall.” She comes a bit closer and I smile. “Closer, pretty. Hold me like I’m your teddy bear,” I joke, and she laughs.
“You’re too big for a teddy bear, and not nearly soft enough,” she snaps back, and I shiver when I feel her body glued to mine, holding me tight.
“I’m a muscular teddy bear,” I joke back and she laughs.
“That’s just it. I’d never own a muscular teddy bear,” she says, and this time I’m the one who laughs.
“And why is that?”
“Just look at me. I’m not exactly the definition of fitness, Cadu. I hate going to the gym,” she says, and I can sense a bit of insecurity in her comment.
“And you don’t have to. You’re beautiful just the way you are,” I say and hold her hand. I start the motorcycle and go to Leblon, to my second favorite place in the world.
My home.
We ride the motorcycle throughout Rodrigo de Freitas Lagoon, and though I love the wonderful view, all I can think about is the hot body I’m holding on to. I’m nervous and the butterflies in my stomach transform into a flock of crazy birds. I have no idea where he’s taking me but, like he said, I don’t feel ready to say goodbye to him either. While I feel the motorcycle buzzing under me, I think about how things are going to be from now on. I’m elated, but I’m also scared. He is my boss after all, and I have no idea how we’re going to do things from now on.
We drive until we reach Leblon. He parks in the garage of a fancy building near the beach. After he stops, we climb off the motorcycle and he helps me take off the helmet. While he puts it back on the motorcycle, I try to straighten my hair, which is probably a mess right now. I shiver nervously but when he turns around and looks me in the eye, I’m lost. His gaze is intense. I’ve never seen anyone look at me like that. I feel like he’s trying to figure out all my secrets. His eyes wander to my mouth and when I think that he’s finally going to kiss me, he just licks his lips, smiles, and gives me his hand so I follow him. I’m confused, attracted, and bewitched. None of the other guys I’ve dated have acted like this around me, and I feel . . . seduced.
We hold hands and he takes me to the elevator, presses the button to the top floor, and turns to me. I smile and he smiles back. Pulling me closer, he rests his forehead against mine.
Breathing deep, he says, “Oh, Mari . . . what am I going to do with you?”
Before I can answer, the elevator opens its door and he holds it open so I can walk out. Then his hand is in mine again. We walk through a small corridor with only two doors, one on each end of it. We walk to one. He takes a keychain from his pocket and opens the door. Of course, I nearly faint when I see how breathtaking his apartment is. It’s so beautiful and so nicely decorated that I just stand near the entrance, fearing I’ll accidentally bump into something and break it. I’m as clumsy as a bull in a china shop.
He walks around the room and when he realizes I’m not following him, he turns around and gives me a funny look.
“Do you like it?” he asks, looking at me strangely. I’m confused as to what he means.
“Sure. It’s beautiful. I’m just . . .” I stop, not knowing how to say it.
“You’re just . . .” he urges, arching an eyebrow.
“I’m a little clumsy. I’m worried I may break something.”
His expression changes and he smiles, showing off his dimples.
Our Lady Protector of the endangered single women, help me not to fall for a man with dimples!
He walks to me, his smile wide and bright, and before I can say or think anything else, he takes me in his arms and lifts me as if I were weightless.
“Oh,” I whisper, still scared. He holds me against his chest, walks through a large corridor, and goes into the kitchen.
He puts me down carefully, then runs his hands up my arms and shoulders, and up until he reaches my face. Cadu never looks away, and when he caresses my face, he comes closer and kisses me softly on my forehead. My legs shake and the birds and butterflies in my stomach are at war, making me feel like I could faint at any second now. He slowly pulls away and smiles, then takes a deep breath again and walks to the refrigerator.
I don’t know what’s happening to me. I’ve never been like this around a woman before. All I want to do is to take care of her, touch her, smell her perfume. We haven’t even kissed, and yet I know that when we do, it will be unlike any other kiss because Mari is different. When she stood in the living room and looked around, I mistook her confusion for interest. I rarely bring anyone over unless I’m throwing a party or a gathering, but when it happens, women tend to look around the house and wonder how much things cost. I still feel like laughing when I remember her innocent confession that she was afraid she might break something. She’s lovely and so different from the women from my world. How come I never saw it before? How could I not see what has been literally in front of me the whole time?
I want her, but I’m scared at the same time. It’s not about sex, I know that now. And I know that falling in love with her would be easy, but the question is: am I really ready to fall in love?
I go to the fridge and get the ingredients to make an omelet, and when I turn around she is standing still, playing with her hands. We have barely talked, just stood there, feeling each other’s presence. It’s like words are unnecessary. But I know we need to talk, even if it’s just small talk. Damn! I feel like I’m fifteen all over again.
“Why don’t you put on some music to listen to while we eat, Mari?” I point to the stereo right behind her. I love music, and every room in the house has a stereo.
“Sure. Any suggestions?” she asks, smiling.
“No, you can choose. Do you like omelets?” I remember to ask.
“I love them.” Still smiling, she faces the stereo. I watch her take a look at the playlist until her smile widens.
“Find anything you like?” I ask. She hits play and music fills the room.
“Oh, Cadu, so much good stuff! I love all kinds of music. Pop, Brazilian music, rock,” she says, sitting on a stool at the island in the middle of the kitchen, while a romantic song comes out of the speakers. It talks about finding someone who can bring lost feelings back to life, even among so many people.
I try not to focus on the lyrics but they describe exactly how I feel right now. That brunette angel has completely bewitched me, and I need to cool off or I’ll end up proposing to Mariana before the night is over. Jesus! Where did that come from?
She continues making small talk, talking about the music she likes, and I follow her, trying to put some order to my messy thoughts. When the omelet is ready, I serve it with orange juice. I offer some bacon, but she refuses.
We talk while we eat and I ask more things about her, like what she likes and the places she likes to go to. It’s a relaxed conversation, and she tells me about her friendship with Lais—the girl who kissed Rodrigo earlier today—her love of music and the fun family get togethers she has. Mari is relaxed, funny, and clever. Out of the office, she is completely different from the competent and serious employee I know. She tells me a story about a friend’s dog that makes me laugh so hard it brings tears to my eyes.
“You are so different from my assistant Mariana,” I joke, and she blushes again. Seeing her face turning pink like that drives me crazy.
“Oh, Cadu . . . it’s my job. I know you need someone competent to help you out. I couldn’t possibly tell these stories to amuse people while I’m there,” she says and laughs, but her eyes seem a bit sad.
“What is it? You don’t like it there?” My stomach clenches at the possibility of her not liking working with me.
“No, that’s not it. I love my job. I learn a lot from you and I love what I do.”
“But . . .”
“No buts.” She smiles, trying to end the conversation.
“Say it, Mari.” I’m curious now, and worried. Could she be using me to get a promotion?
“I just have no reason to be nice to people there. I don’t know anybody that well,” she answers and smiles, but I feel like there’s more to it than what she’s saying.
“And why is that?”
“Um . . .” She thinks, then says, “Everyone there is so different from me. I talk to everyone and, don’t get me wrong, I . . . I’m just not sure I’m the type of person they’re used to having as a friend.” She smiles and I lose myself for a second. “But I don’t want to talk about work. I have a confidentiality contract signed by my boss, so I can’t say much about the company, I’m sorry,” she concludes, then smiles. I can’t help but laugh at her joke.
We stay there in the kitchen talking, laughing and playing while the music plays on. Our conversation is light and relaxed and Mari can talk about anything. Then she yawns and I check the clock. Wow! Five thirty in the morning!
“Come!” I jump off the stool and she gives me a sleepy and confused look. “I want to show you something.” Mari looks at the kitchen clock and starts to protest, but I stop her.
“Wow, Cadu! Five thirty! I have to go home!” I lift her in my arms again and she laughs.
“I’ll drive you later, but I need you to see something before you go.” She laughs harder and I take her to the back of the apartment, where my bedroom is. I open the door still carrying her and she looks straight to the large window.
“Wow, what a view!” she says, and I put her on the bed. I sit behind her and pull her against my chest, and we both watch the sun rising from the window. The view is really beautiful, with the Leblon beach down below. The sky is colorful and as amazing as an impressionist painting.
I grab the stereo remote control and, just like I’d planned it, the perfect song starts playing. And then I decide to do what I’ve been wanting to do the whole evening.