Three days later and she still hadn’t really heard from Hoop. She’d gone to his offices and met the lawyer he’d recommended and had sort of hoped to see him there. But he hadn’t been. In retrospect she got that. Her legal matter wasn’t something that he should be involved in.
He was giving her space…letting her set the tone of their relationship. He had suggested a second date though.
And…
Nothing.
She had her new routine…work, get sick, worry about how to tell her parents she was pregnant. She knew her stepdad would be disappointed but then she felt like she hadn’t done anything to please him in years.
She rubbed the back of her neck and sat back in her chair. Staring at the screen on her large monitor and hoping for an answer. She wanted to make a decision matrix, though she hadn’t used one since deciding to go in with Iona and Hayley to open the Candied Apple & Cafe.
Her door, which had been shut, but not tightly closed, was nudged open and the jingle of Lucy’s collar alerted her to the fact that Hayley’s rescue dachshund was on the move. She glanced to her left and saw the small dog looking up at her, tail wagging.
“What do you want?” she asked in the singsong voice she always used with kids and pets.
The dog went up on her back legs and motioned with her front paws up and down. Cici shook her head and turned her chair to the little dog who went down on all fours, wagging her tale as she inched closer to Cici’s feet.
Cici picked Lucy up and the dog put her front paws on Cici’s chest, licking her chin. She rubbed her hands up and down the dog’s back, petting her.
If only it were as easy to make people this happy.
Her message app on the computer pinged and she reached around the dog to click on the icon to open it up. Lucy circled three times and then plunked down on Cici’s lap.
The message was a group text from Iona to her and Hayley.
Iona: Lunch, Bryant Park, 30 minutes. No excuses.
Hayley: I need 45 minutes to finish the candy I’m working on.
Cici: I can come early. Lucy is with me. Okay to bring her?
Hayley: So that’s where that little scamp got. She was sleeping in her bed.
Iona: So see you in 30, Cici?
Cici: Yes.
She closed the text app and put her computer in sleep mode before going to collect Lucy’s leash, collapsible water bowl and treats from Hayley.
“I’m so jealous that you are leaving now,” Hayley said. “I need a break.”
“You okay?”
Hayley shrugged. Her blonde hair was now hitting the back of her neck and she’d tucked it behind her ear. “I’m grumpy today.”
“Why?”
“I’ll tell you at lunch. Don’t talk too much until I get there,” Hayley said, hugging her.
“We won’t,” Cici promised.
She left the shop from the back and walked up the alley to Fifth Avenue. She stopped for a minute, tipping her head back to look at the buildings. The walk to Bryant Park from their Fifth Avenue location would take about twenty-five minutes, so she wasn’t in too much of a hurry. She started up Fifth to Madison Square Park. The summery day was warm and being out and walking was doing wonders for her state of mind. She swapped her glasses for prescription sunglasses. Lucy generated a lot of smiles from passersby and the little dog always stopped to allow anyone who showed an interest in her to pet her. At the park, Cici gave her a little bit of water while she drank from the bottle of strawberry infused water she had in her bag.
She took a deep breath. The City smelled…well, like a big city. Here in the park it was fragrant with lush greenery but the underlying smell of industry was in the air as well. She stood there and realized how much time she’d spent worrying over the last few months and that she should let it go.
She needed to stop thinking she could change anything. She never had been able to. She wasn’t going to be the person who made the “right choices” whatever they were, because that wasn’t who she was. She followed her gut and that had sometimes led her into trouble but it had also resulted in some of her best choices. The Candied Apple & Cafe was one. This baby was going to be another one.
Lucy tugged on her leash, ready to start moving again, and Cici put the cap tightly on her bottle and dropped it back in her bag.
She continued up Fifth, realizing that her steps were a little bouncier. Being herself was probably the one thing she’d always been good at. In school, when it wasn’t cool to be good at math, she’d ignored the other kids and just did her thing. When other girls didn’t like baseball the way she did and thought it was nerdy that she knew the stats…well, screw them. Somehow finding out she was pregnant with one man’s baby while still crushing on another one had thrown her.
She’d forgotten who she was.
And being a mom didn’t have to mean losing herself.
She couldn’t let it mean that. She was all this little bean of hers was going to have. Well and some aunties in Hayley and Iona, and of course, her parents. Her stepdad and mom might not be excited about how she got pregnant but she knew they’d love and welcome her baby.
What about Rich’s family? She hadn’t met them at the wedding but her cousin had mentioned he came from a wealthy family. Would they want to be part of the baby’s life? And exactly how would that conversation go?
Hey, you don’t know me but I hooked up with your son at a wedding and now I’m carrying your grandchild?
Uh, not so much.
She’d worry about that later.
All of a sudden it hit her…she had been wearing a mantle of blame.
Damn.
She was ashamed of herself.
She hadn’t admitted it before now.
She stopped at the corner of Fifth and stepped out of the flow of traffic, leaning against a building as the truth of that thought echoed in her mind.
She wrapped her arms around her stomach. She wasn’t going to be ashamed of her baby.
Lucy looked up at her and whined in a way that Cici thought sounded like a question.
“I’m okay,” she said.
And as she continued walking toward Bryant Park she realized that she was okay. Now that she knew the cause of her moods she could face it and deal with it head on.
Hoop leaned back in his chair and glanced out of his window, which afforded him a view of the skyscraper building next door. It was hot and the air conditioning in the building was working overtime to keep them all comfortable. He’d like to say that he was distracted by the heat but the truth was Cici was on his mind.
He’d give her the space she needed. And to be honest, that he needed. Getting involved with her was complicated. Not least by the fact that he didn’t do well with relationships.
He didn’t need a therapist to tell him that it was rooted in his nomadic childhood. But there was a part of him that insisted everything was temporary. And a baby deserved stability. Permanence. The things that Hoop felt inadequate to bring to the table.
There was a knock at the door.
“Come in,” he said.
The door opened and he saw his boss, Martin Reynolds, standing there. Martin was sixty but looked more like forty. He worked out twice a day in the office gym and prided himself on being healthy.
“Got a minute?” Martin asked. His boss wore a Hugo Boss suit and kept his salt-and-pepper hair neatly trimmed. He’d made his reputation by settling a huge custody case in the 80s involving two warring billionaires. Hoop admired Martin and respected him.
And he wondered why he was here in his office. He’d had two conversations with Martin before and they’d both taken place in the executive boardroom on the twentieth floor. None of the partners had ever come to his office before.
“I have about ten,” Hoop said. “I have a client meeting in thirty minutes.”
“Perfect,” Martin said, coming into the room and taking a seat in the guest chair. He sat down, loosely crossing his legs and leaned back in his chair.
That old fear. The one that said that everything in his life was temporary reared its head and he started to sweat as he realized his boss might be in here to deliver bad news. His last two cases had brought the firm a nice profit and had pleased his clients. But maybe he hadn’t been working hard enough.
“Though you’ve been at this office for only two years, we’ve all been impressed with your work ethic and the cases you’ve handled,” Martin said.
“Thank you, sir,” Hoop said. “I love my work.”
“I thought so,” Martin replied with a smile. “You remind me a bit of myself.”
“How so?” he asked, because he didn’t see much in Martin’s life that resembled his.
“I didn’t come to law as a first choice either.”
“Were you a cop?” Hoop asked. It was hard to imagine Martin as a cop but he was tough and had a strong sense of justice.
Martin gave a laugh. “Not at all. I was a salesman. Worked for a large retail chain in their corporate headquarters in the garment district.”
“Wow. That’s a big change,” Hoop said.
“Does everyone say that to you?” Martin asked.
“They do,” Hoop admitted.
“Do you feel like it was an epic decision?” Martin asked, leaning forward.
Hoop shook his head. “For me, this is more like finding the career I was meant to have. I loved aspects of being a cop but after the newness of the job wore off, most mornings I dreaded getting up and going to work.”
“How do you feel about coming here every day?” Martin asked.
“I love it,” Hoop said. It hadn’t taken him long to realize he’d found the calling he’d been searching for in family law. His mom always said he’d find it one day but Hoop had doubted her. There were so many questions about where he came from and who he truly was that he’d struggled and would never have chosen this profession, but having stumbled into it, there was a certain rightness to where he was.
“Good. I’m very glad to hear that. Jameson is retiring at the end of the year and all of the partners are looking for candidates to fill his role, which will leave an opening for a junior partner. I’d like you to be my junior partner candidate, Hoop. Are you interested?”
“Yes,” he said, without even thinking. “I won’t let you down.”
“I’m sure you won’t. Have your assistant get in touch with mine and schedule weekly check in meetings for us.”
“Yes, sir,” Hoop said excitedly.
“What does your caseload look like right now?” Martin asked.
“Full but not too heavy,” Hoop said. He had about eighty hours a week of work but he wanted the junior partnership enough to sacrifice and do whatever was needed to make it happen. He hadn’t thought that he’d have this opportunity so quickly.
“I want to start introducing you to some of our biggest clients and let you work with me on some of the cases so that you can raise your profile within the company. I will copy you in on the cases and have my assistant bring you the files you need to review.”
“Sounds great,” Hoop said.
“Glad to hear it,” Martin replied. “I think that’s my time up. I’d like our weekly meetings to be on Monday.”
“I’ll let Abby know,” Hoop said, mentioning his administrative assistant by name.
“It’s going to be hard work,” Martin said, standing. “But I’m confident you are up for it.”
Martin left the room and Hoop jumped out of his chair. Junior partner!
He did a fist pump and then a little dance around his desk as his door opened. He stopped mid hip shake to see Abby standing in the doorway.
“So…Mr. Reynolds said you needed me to set up some appointments.”
“I am. You’re looking at a candidate for junior partner,” Hoop said.
Abby closed the door behind her and walked over to give him a high five. “That’s going to be longer hours for us.”
“It will. Can you handle it?” he asked. But he knew she could. Abby and he made a good team.
Abby nodded. “Definitely. What’s first?”
“I need you to get me on Martin’s schedule for weekly one-on-one meetings and his admin … what’s her name?”
“Kelsey.”
“Thanks, Abby,” Hoop said, tucking the name away. He’d need it. “His office will be sending down some files of cases that I need to get up to speed on. I’d like you to build time into my schedule to get caught up on those.”
“Got it, boss. Your next appointment is running five minutes late,” Abby said, handing him a folder and then turning and leaving his office.
He knew that it would take a lot of hard work to get the job but he was willing to do it. He had an extra five minutes so he picked up his office phone and dialed his parents’ house. They’d both be at work so he got the machine.
“Mom, Pops. It’s Hoop. I’m a candidate for junior partner. Just thought you’d like to know. Love you.”
The Candied Apple & Cafe had a line out the front door as Cici and Hayley returned from lunch.
“I’d say your new flavors are a hit,” Cici said as they approached.
“I guess so. I think making our most popular truffles into milkshakes is also helping draw the crowds. It is so hot today,” Hayley added. She linked her free arm through Cici’s and stopped walking. Lucy promptly trotted back to Hayley’s side, standing up on her back legs to look up at her owner.
“Can you believe this?” Hayley asked. “It seems like just yesterday we were all sitting in Sant Ambroeus drinking espresso and talking about pooling our skills.”
She remembered it. They had all been working for others and not really happy in their careers. Cici had been tired of working in a large accounting department in her cubicle all day. As much as she loved numbers there had been something soul-sucking about the entire environment. Leaving that job had seemed risky at the time but she didn’t regret it.
How could she when they’d made such a big success of the Candied Apple & Cafe? Having the baby would be the same, she thought.
“A part of me wants to be all like, of course I believe it. Girl power! But damn, this is bigger than we dreamed,” Cici said.
“It is,” Hayley agreed. “I kind of want to just stand here and enjoy the scene.”
“Me too, but Io will kill us if we don’t do a little video for social media,” Cici said.
“Want me to do it?” Hayley asked.
Cici did. But Hayley was incredibly shy and really hated doing any sort of media for the store. “Nah, I got this. Actually, how do I look?”
“Gorgeous as usual.”
“I’m sure I look sweaty from our walk,” Cici said.
Hayley pulled a bottle of facial hydrating spray from her bag and gave Cici a quick spritz before doing her own face. “Really, I hate to sound like a weirdo but you are glowing. I guess it’s those baby hormones making your skin radiant. I’m jealous.”
“Uh, don’t be, you have a great fiancé. I think if you said you wanted a baby…”
“Stop. Don’t say another word. I’m still getting used to living with Garrett and being a couple. I think we need time before we add to our family.”
“I wasn’t pressuring you,” Cici said. Though a part of her sort of wished that Hayley would get pregnant so they could be new moms together.
“I know. It’s just sometimes everything with Garrett seems like it is moving too quickly. I like to plan.”
“I get it,” Cici said. “Wouldn’t life be easier if we could plot our personal lives the way we do the Candied Apple & Cafe?”
“It would,” Hayley said with a laugh. “Do you want me to video you talking to the customers?”
“Back to business,” Cici said. “No, I’m going to get them chatting and do a little selfie intro…actually let’s do it together.”
“Uh, what?”
“You don’t have to talk to anyone but my cell phone,” Cici said.
She extended her arm and hit the reverse camera button. Hayley was right, her skin did look nice. Both she and Hayley made faces at themselves in the selfie camera and Cici hugged her friend with her free arm.
“I’m so glad we’re friends.”
“Me too.”
“Okay, ready? I’ll start and then throw it to you. I’m going to say we’re here in front of the shop and then ask you to talk about the new flavors and the shakes.”
“I’m ready. I could talk about chocolate all day.”
“I know. I spend most of my days with you.”
“Brat.”
“Takes one to know one,” Cici said. “Recording in three, two, one…”
Cici recorded herself and Hayley chatting and then Hayley took Lucy and went down the alley entrance way to the kitchen while Cici talked to the customers waiting in line. Since Valentine’s Day and the introduction of the love box, a lot of folks she talked to informed her that they had made rituals of getting the new season sampler with their lovers.
Cici felt a pang as she listened to their stories. She wanted someone to share her life with. Not a guy who she’d friend zoned, who seemed content to stay there.
She rubbed the back of her neck, reminded herself that she didn’t need a man to complete her. But there was a longing inside of her she couldn’t deny. She wanted someone that she had little rituals with.
It wasn’t like she couldn’t eat chocolate. Heck, she did that daily with her friends. She walked into the shop, felt the cooling of the air conditioning and waved at Carolyn as she walked through the retail section then into the cafe and back to her office.
She sat in her chair, plugging her phone in to download the videos and as she saw herself and Hayley she realized that she had a good life. The pangs of longing she felt for a man, they would pass. She was building the life she’d always dreamed of.
She had a successful business and a lovely apartment in the city and soon she’d have her little bean.
She patted her stomach and tried to feel some Zen connection to her baby. She’d read that some mothers did, but she felt nothing. That worried her.
She had spent so much time thinking of the fallout maybe she had missed out on bonding with the baby.
She leaned forward, resting her head on her desk.
No, she mentally reprimanded herself. She wasn’t going to start feeling bad about anything.
She was the best damned mom this little bean could have and she was going to start acting like it.