The next morning, Anna stood at the school gates, awaiting her yoga fate, dressed in three-quarter-length grey jogging pants and a T-shirt that read Keep Calm and Down Another. Once the bell sounded and the vast majority of gossiping women had gone home, Anna spotted Angela, who sprinted over in jersey palazzo pants and a tight-fitting vest. She stopped short of Anna and lunged forward, her left knee bent, straightening out her right leg.
‘Warming up,’ she announced, as if her actions actually needed explanation. ‘Have you warmed up?’
‘Yes,’ Anna said, ‘I put the heating on in the car.’
Angela smiled. ‘You’re so funny, Amy.’
‘Anna.’
‘Pardon?’
‘My name’s Anna, not Amy.’
‘Ah.’ Angela smiled. ‘I got the first part right. Probably because my name begins with an “A”.’
Anna nodded politely, wondering if Angela was secretly habouring an IQ of one hundred plus and just had to make an effort to curb her ridiculously high level of wit and intelligence.
‘So, I was watching a nature programme last night,’ Angela said, stretching out her left leg, ‘and it turns out that pandas are not native to England. Turns out they live abroad.’ She frowned. ‘Who knew? I’ve never seen one but I thought that’s because they were up north somewhere. Have you ever seen one?’
Anna looked at her and burst out laughing, but when Angela didn’t join in, Anna’s question regarding her IQ was answered.
‘No,’ Anna said, forcing herself to be serious, ‘not except on the TV.’
Lucinda came over. ‘Ladies, are we ready?’
Angela nodded and they started to walk. ‘I was just saying to Anna that I didn’t know pandas weren’t native to this country.’
Lucinda shook her head. ‘No, they are. I’ve asked the head of Bristol Zoo to lend me some for the school excursion.’
‘What did they say?’ Anna said, suppressing a laugh.
‘He hasn’t got back to me yet.’ Lucinda shrugged. ‘It’s been over a month now and he hasn’t returned any of my phone calls.’
Anna bit down hard on her lip in an attempt to hold back her smile.
‘Are you laughing at me?’ Lucinda peered hard at her. ‘Anna,’ she scolded, ‘there is nothing funny about the impoliteness of not returning someone’s calls.’
Anna nodded, grateful when Lucinda soon forgot their conversation as she rushed towards the village hall for yoga. But, to Anna’s dismay, as they entered the hall, she saw Horatio’s mistress sitting at the front of the class, her arms and legs assuming the shape of a table and her pelvis stuck jauntily forward.
‘I thought it was a different instructor today,’ Anna whispered and Lucinda and Angela shrugged.
‘Ladies,’ the woman said, ‘we’ve started. Please take up your positions on the mat.’ She smiled. ‘And welcome to our newbie. You must be Miss Compton. My name’s Pru. I’ve heard much about you.’
‘Oh, all good, I hope.’ Anna looked around nervously.
‘All very entertaining and very good.’ Pru smiled. ‘You can use my spare mat. It’s the pink one at the back there.’
Sixteen women, four rows of four, evenly spaced, turned and smiled at her as they too adopted what Anna vaguely remembered Diane calling ‘the bridge’. Anna retrieved the mat and tried to get it to stop rolling up like unruly wrapping paper.
‘Turn it over,’ Pru said.
Anna eventually managed to sit on the mat and looked to see what everyone else was doing. Everyone was standing, one leg up like a flamingo.
‘We’re doing the tree,’ Angela whispered. ‘I imagine you know this one.’
‘Sure.’ Anna nodded, adopting the position and wobbling forward before trying again. ‘Been a while, though.’
The room was silent except for Pru. ‘Breathe in slowly, collect up all that negative energy, and release it. OK, good, now we’re going into the “downward dog”.’
Anna followed the others as they bent their bodies forward, their hands touching the floor. She couldn’t quite reach and the burn in her leg muscles was excruciating.
‘You should be making an upside-down V shape.’ Pru was suddenly at her side, her pretty face under Anna’s armpit as she explained. ‘If you come up off your heels and gently push forward.’
‘I can’t,’ Anna whispered. ‘I think my arms are shorter than everyone else’s.’
Lucinda sniggered next to her and Anna gave a sidelong look at her enviably perfect upside-down ‘V’.
‘Bring your tummy in,’ Pru said, and Anna wanted to ask her if she had shown Horatio the same move in the bedroom. ‘Try clenching your tummy muscles.’ Pru stood. ‘OK, everyone, move into the “half downward dog”.’ She nodded. ‘That’s it, lift that leg high.’ Pru crouched next to her again. ‘You just try and perfect this one first.’
Anna, sweaty-faced, continued to shuffle her hands forward until she achieved something closer to a ‘U’ shape.
‘Well done, Anna,’ Pru said. ‘That’s it. Almost there. Now, everyone, move side on and let’s do the “sunbird”. Anna, you keep trying to perfect the dog.’
‘Oh, she’s perfected that,’ Lucinda said to Angela.
Anna, her head still upside down, couldn’t see Lucinda, except for a flash of her manicured nails and dainty feet moving with ease around the mat. Out of nowhere, Anna felt the sharp thrust of a foot in the side of her head. She collapsed like a pack of cards onto the mat, her legs bent at the knees and her arms perpendicular above her.
‘Ouch,’ she yelped quietly. ‘Help. I think I’ve been concussed.’
‘Oops,’ came Lucinda’s voice, ‘I appear to have accidentally kicked Anna.’
No one budged and her injury went unnoticed until Pru said, ‘Ladies, let’s adopt the “modified corpse” position as Anna Compton is showing us so perfectly. Miss Compton, that’s the finest modified corpse position I’ve ever seen. Everybody look.’
Anna brought her head up slowly and smiled weakly at the sea of eyes before letting her head drop backwards once more. She refused, not intentionally, to move from the ‘modified corpse’ position for the remainder of the class, and as everyone collected their belongings, women, a few of whom she recognised from the school gates, stepped over her as they went to leave.
‘Well done, Anna,’ said a small blonde. ‘Great pose. I’ve never done that one quite as well as that. Maybe you could show me some time?’
Anna nodded and looked at the next woman. A curvy brunette with a bob said, ‘Aren’t you the winner of the pork pie race up at White Horse Hill? You were awesome.’
She muttered her thanks and, eventually, with the help of Lucinda and Angela, sat up.
‘God, sorry,’ Lucinda breathed excitedly, ‘I belted you quite hard, didn’t I?’
‘Are you OK, Amy?’ Angela bent down so she was at eye-level with Anna. ‘You haven’t moved much.’
‘Fine. Just my body’s taken a bit of a beating, what with the race and now this.’
Pru came over, shrugging on her Pineapple Studio sweat top. ‘Anna, nice to finally meet you. Horatio’s talked about you nonstop.’
Anna stood, the room momentarily spinning. ‘Has he?’
‘Yes, he’s gone on and on about how funny you are.’ She smiled. ‘I can see what he means.’
Anna handed Pru her pink mat. ‘Thanks for the mat.’
Lucinda flicked her hair. ‘Pru, does he talk about me? I’m Lucinda. I’m sure he must have told you of the fun we had at the bake sale, for example?’ She looked at Pru, waiting for a flicker of recognition. ‘Or how about my great idea for a school day out with zoo animals?’
Pru was walking towards the door.
‘Or how about,’ Lucinda went on, ‘the chats we have outside the school gates?’
Pru turned at the door. ‘No, I can’t say I remember anything. Oh no, wait.’
‘Yes?’ Lucinda looked at her like an eager puppy.
‘Oh no, wait. No, that was about Anna.’
Anna stood stock-still, her heart suddenly beating wildly in her chest. She desperately wanted to know what Horatio had been saying about her to Pru. Had he been kind or told Pru what a hopeless single mother she was? Anna barely noticed Lucinda had left, as had everyone else, as she slowly, almost as if in a daydream, made her way back home.
Three hours later, Anna drove up a long, dirt track to Briars Farm. Richard emerged from a small Cotswold stone building with a mug in his hand.
He smiled broadly at her. ‘So glad you could make it. Come into the office.’ He gave her a kiss on the cheek and her heart skipped a beat. ‘I’ve got a bottle of bubbly here and some strawberries. I thought we could pretend it’s summer.’ He looked past her, out the door, at the drizzly weather. ‘Though, that may be a tall order.’ Richard offered her a Driza-Bone off the coatstand. ‘You’ll probably need this.’
She took the coat, despite its being a few sizes too big, and together they stepped outside. Another car was making its way up the lane and Richard stopped, Anna coming up alongside him.
‘Who’s that?’ he said. ‘I don’t remember…’
Then, as Anna recognised not only the car but the driver too, her heart sank. Moments later, her mother clambered out of her ancient E-type and strode over to them, wearing dungarees, a plaid shirt and a straw hat. ‘Hello, darling.’
‘Mum, what are you doing here?’ Anna asked, incredulously. ‘How did you even know I was here?’
She smiled. ‘Hallo, Richard.’ Looking back at Anna, she said, ‘I was bored and I asked Diane where you were. She wouldn’t tell me, the little minx, but then I promised to buy her a Chinese takeaway and bottle of tequila, and here I am!’ She turned a full three-sixty. ‘This is exciting, isn’t it, Banana? A trip to a working farm. I feel like a presenter on Countryfile.’
‘Mum. Excuse us a second, Richard.’ She took her mother firmly by the top of her arm and wheeled her out of earshot. ‘I am on a date. You know, where a man and a woman spend time alone together. Not the man, the woman and the woman’s mother.’
Anna glanced back at Richard who was thankfully talking on his mobile. No doubt he was getting the heavies in to rid them of her mother.
‘Mum, this is what I was talking about the other day. The whole personal space thing.’
‘Well, actually, darling,’ her mother said, sticking out her lower lip, ‘I came because, when Diane told me you were on a date with him, I panicked.’
‘You panicked? What? Because I’m, like, fifteen and might not get back in time for dinner?’ She paused. ‘Anyway, you’re the one who first suggested to him that he take me on a date.’
‘Well,’ her mother removed her straw hat solemnly, ‘now I have a bad feeling about him.’
‘A bad feeling?’
‘Anna,’ her mother seemed unsure of herself, for once, ‘I just want to protect you.’
‘Well, go on, what is this bad feeling?’
‘I don’t think he’s being entirely honest with you…’ she started.
Anna scoffed. ‘Oh, come on. What is it, really? Are you jealous that maybe a good-looking man with money might actually fancy me? Is it totally impossible to comprehend that your clumsy, imperfect daughter might actually have a man showing interest in her?’
‘You forgot chubby.’
‘What?’
‘Clumsy and chubby.’
‘Oh, sheesh,’ Anna said crossly. ‘Thanks, Mum, for putting me back in my place.’
‘OK,’ she said, ‘I’m going, but don’t say I didn’t warn you. I’ll ring Tony to see if he wants to do Sex and the City with me.’ Her mother held her hands in the air and walked over to her car. ‘Richard, I’m off. It’s been nice, albeit brief.’
‘Oh, really?’ he said, putting his phone in his pocket, relief crossing his face.
‘Yes, it seems I’ve forgotten to pick up some things for dinner. My turn tonight.’ She got in her car and drove off.
Anna looked at Richard. ‘Sorry. Again.’
‘Shall we go?’ He led her past the stables, to the back of the farm, where a stile stood between them and the open countryside. Richard swung his leg over the stile with ease and held out his hand to help Anna across.
‘Let me help you.’
‘No, thank you,’ she said, refusing his hand. ‘I’m a keen walker. I’ll be fine.’
She placed one leg over the stile and, as she brought her other leg over, her foot clipped the top of the post and her body toppled forward onto the cold, muddy ground.
‘Oh, bum,’ she said loudly, holding back the tears. ‘Normally I’m very good at this.’
He smiled, holding out his hand. ‘Pride comes before a fall.’
‘God, you sound like Horatio,’ she said, accepting his help before brushing off the mud from her bottom.
Richard put his hand on her shoulder. ‘I’m sorry. Are you OK?’
‘Yes, fine, other than the trampling at the race on Saturday, and being kicked in the head by Lucinda Deville this morning at yoga, and now this.’ She paused. ‘I’m great. Really dandy.’
‘Oh, it does sound like you’ve had a rough time of it.’ He pulled her into a hug. ‘Never mind. A glass of champers and what I’m about to show you will see you right.’ He looked up. ‘Even the sun is coming out for you.’
The sun had pierced the thick layer of cloud and it had stopped raining. They had been walking for another ten minutes in silence when Richard stopped and pointed. ‘Here we are.’
She looked. ‘It’s a bench.’
‘Sit,’ he said, as he sat himself, taking out the bottle of champagne. ‘Look at the view.’
She took the final few steps to the bench feeling cold and miserable, wishing she could just go home to a warm shower and her PJs. But as she brought her head up, her breath caught and she drank in the glorious sight of the gently undulating hills, bathed in the soft glow of autumnal sunshine, sheep dotting the landscape, and the rich green of fields as far as her eye could see. There were no roads, no cars, and no people. It was as if time had stopped.
‘Like a pastoral painting,’ she said softly as he handed her a glass. ‘It’s amazing. Almost unreal.’
‘I put this bench here, back in March, when my father died. He’d always talked about this copse.’ He indicated behind him. ‘Told me it was like a gift from God. I’m not religious, but you can see how someone could be when you look out at a view like this.’ He shook his head, sorrow etched across his face. ‘I was incredibly close to my father but never knew about this copse. The last thing he ever said was that, whenever I came here, he would be here with me.’ Richard swallowed hard and gripped the bottle as he fought tears. ‘So I put this bench here in his memory.’
Anna grabbed his hand, a lump in her own throat. ‘That’s beautiful.’ She smiled, her eyes glossy. ‘What you’ve done here is beautiful and you’re a good man.’
He squeezed her hand. ‘Thank you. Sorry.’ He rubbed his eyes. ‘You don’t need to see a grown man cry.’ Richard looked at her and she saw something else replace the sadness in his eyes: a kind of hunger. He removed his hand from hers and traced the outline of her jaw. ‘You’re beautiful, did you know that? There are no words for how beautiful you are.’
A nervous giggle escaped her lips. ‘I’m covered in mud and bruises. That is not beautiful.’
He brought his face close to hers and she closed her eyes, clenching her stomach as butterflies took hold.
‘You’re vibrating,’ he said, snapping his eyes open.
‘Just a bit nervous,’ she said.
‘No, I think it’s your phone.’
‘Oh, shit, sorry. Right.’ She felt her jeans pocket for her phone and flipped it open. ‘Hello?’
It was the twins’ teacher.
‘Are you picking your children up today, Ms Compton?’
‘Yes, of course.’ She looked at her watch, her heart hammering, maternal guilt sweeping through her, and realised she was twenty minutes late already. ‘Sorry, I’ll be right there.’
Richard had already picked up the champagne bottle and was walking quickly back in the direction of the farm.
‘Richard!’ she called after him, but he didn’t turn around.
She grew annoyed with herself for not having kept an eye on the time. Her children would be wondering where she was and she felt a fresh tide of maternal guilt roll over her as she ran to catch up with Richard.
When she finally caught up with him at the dreaded stile, she confronted him. ‘Richard, I honestly am so sorry, but you must understand. I have to pick my children up…’ She waited for him to help her out, but he didn’t. ‘I mean, that’s why I suggested we choose a day they could come with us.’
He nodded, his jaw clenching and unclenching. ‘I understand, Anna. I better get back to work anyway.’
He walked fast towards the farm buildings with Anna struggling to keep up behind. Even as they reached the yard, he walked into his office wordlessly and she got in her car, driving fast towards the nursery, her stomach in a strange twist of angry knots.