Chapter 41

“You’ll never know what love is, Xander Delgado! Never!”

Molly was tempted to kick the door on her way out, but thought better of it. She opened her purse and grabbed the keys, looking for the automatic unlock button. An earsplitting alarm came from her car. She fumbled for the red button on her fob and finally managed to turn it off.

As she was getting into her car, the main gate into the courtyard opened and a small sports car sped through. The windows were wide open and Molly could see the driver’s face.

Johnny? So Xander thinks I’m not good enough for him and his friends? Yeah, well to hell with you Xander and all of your stupid fighting idiots.

Opening the glove compartment, Molly found her sunglasses and put them on. Johnny was standing at the front door now, waiting for Xander.

I need to get his attention.

Molly rolled down the window and laid her hand on the horn.

Johnny whirled around and when Molly saw that he was looking right at her, she stuck her middle finger out of the window, flipping him off. Johnny turned to look over both shoulders, seeing if there was anyone else around that she could have possibly been giving the finger to.

Oh no, Johnny. That is for you… and Xander. Make sure you save him some!

Molly drove well over the speed limit the entire way home, except for the small stretch where she was right behind a cop car.

Why is it I’ve gone through my whole life never flipping anyone off, then I meet Xander, and suddenly I’ve done it twice! Elodie would be so proud!

There was only one space left in front of the house and it was supposed to be reserved for cab drivers, but Molly didn’t care. She parked with her rear tires on the curb and ran to the house, forgetting to lock the car doors.

“El, are you home!?”

Molly burst through the entrance, not bothering to take off her shoes before walking into the kitchen and living room area.

“El?”

Molly knocked on Elodie’s bedroom door, but no one answered. Is she sleeping this late in the day? Molly tried to open the door, but it was blocked by piles of laundry.

Holy shit, what a mess! My kid will never be as messy as Elodie is. I’ll teach him or her how to take pride in their home, just like my Mom did.

Molly had been holding off telling her mother she was pregnant. The thought of what she might say made Molly’s stomach churn. She figured it could go either way. Her mother could be apprehensive, yet accepting of Molly’s news, or she could be upset and worst of all, disappointed in Molly for such a catastrophic failure. The latter seemed more likely, but Molly knew that despite her mother’s inability to show her anger outwardly, she would have a hard time concealing her sadness about Molly’s prospects in life now that she was going to have a child at such a young age.

‘Things were tough, back in my day,’ was what Molly had hear so many times.

Molly’s mother was young when she was pregnant, just three years older than Molly was now. She had already been through college at the time, where she majored in the field of education, just like Molly. She met her husband, Molly’s father, at her first job. When she told him that she was pregnant with his child, she was fortunate that he stuck around to help support her and their child, Molly.

She never talked about what it was actually like raising a child at that age, or being pregnant unexpectedly. Did she ever think of getting rid of me? Or putting me up for adoption?

Molly was wrestling with those thoughts herself, feeling guilty every time she considered calling the local women’s facility and making an appointment, or searching online for information on the best adoption agencies.

Taking a deep breath, Molly got her phone out of her purse and scrolled through until she reached the number she sought, labeled, ‘Mama.’

“Molly! Hi, babygirl, how are you?”

Molly’s mother was always delighted to hear her daughter’s voice.

“Hi, Mama, I’m doing pretty good. It’s weird. Elodie’s usually home at this time but she’s not today, so I’m kind of bored, just sitting in my room and thinking about stuff.”

Molly could hear that her mother was outside, probably tending to her garden now that the sun was starting to go down.

She sounds like she’s in a good mood. Maybe now is a good time to tell her.

“What are you thinking about? Anything your ol’ mother dearest can help you with?”

Molly felt her throat getting tighter and knots forming in her stomach. I can’t ...

“I was just looking through an old photo album with family pictures from when I was a baby. It made me think about how you and dad never told me much about what it was like raising me. I don’t know if that’s a weird thing to want to talk about, but I figured I’d ask anyway.”

Now you’re pregnant and a liar too.

“Oh, sweetie, it’s not a weird thing to want to talk about! I’d love to tell you. Where do I even start? Well it was hard at first, that’s for sure. You see, your father and I hadn’t been together for very long when I found out I was pregnant with you. I had just finished my degree and had a position as a substitute teacher at the local high school. Your father was the math teacher there for a year already. He was on salary, but I was just scraping by and paying off student loans with most of my paychecks. To be honest, at first I wasn’t sure whether or not I’d be able to do it. Having you and a career seemed impossible, and the thought of telling your father seemed even more outlandish.”

I could never tell Xander.

“When I finally worked up the courage to tell him that I was pregnant, I had already made my mind up that I would keep you, Molly Dolly. I would look down at my belly every night and tell you I loved you. Even when you made me sick I told you it was alright, that Mama was here for you. I was lucky that your father reacted the way he did. I went to him crying, prepared to tell him that I was going to do it with or without him, but he cradled me in his arms and told me that it was the happiest day of his life. From then on it didn’t matter how much or how little money we had, so long as we had you.”

Holding the phone away from her ear, Molly wiped her tears onto her sleeve.

“Molly, you there honey?”

“Yeah, Mama, I’m here. Sorry, I thought I heard El coming home. Thanks for telling me all of that, I’m glad you and Dad stayed together, and I’m sorry it was rough for you at the beginning. I can’t imagine.”

“It was worth it, Molly. If I could do it all over again, I wouldn’t change a thing. Well, except maybe what I made you wear in your second grade school pictures.”

Molly remembered seeing pictures of herself sporting a red dress complete with white frills and shoulder pads.

“Yeah, I think shorts and a t-shirt would have been good enough. Anyway, I should get going. Thanks, and love you, Mom.”

Molly hung up the phone and walked over to her full length mirror.

Hey there little one.

She put a hand to her swollen belly and lifted her shirt, trying to imagine the tiny human growing inside of her. Up until that moment, it hadn’t seemed entirely real. It was as though her brain had been trying to block out thoughts of a true pregnancy, because having to raise the child on her own was too stressful for her to come to terms with. Now that she had spoken to her mother and was able to think more clearly, Molly began resenting herself for ever having thought of giving up her unborn child.

I’ll never leave you. Even if I have to do this all on my own, I will never abandon you.

Elodie barged into the room.

“Mol! You’ll never believe what I’m about to tell you.”

Elodie’s face went from excited to puzzled, as she looked at Molly rubbing her stomach in the mirror.

“Oh, also—just so you know—you’re not going to develop any kind of noticeable bump for at least another week, or month ... or something.”

Molly quickly pulled down her shirt.

“It’s called knocking, El. What shocking news do you have?”

Elodie kicked off her shoes at the doorway and jumped onto Molly’s bed.

“Okay so I may have a date tonight and guess who it’s with? Come on, guess!”

Molly was racking her brain, trying to come up with names for all of the faces she’d seen entering and exiting Elodie’s room over the last couple of months.

“Is it that guy you met in Organic Chemistry class last semester? The dude who you said curves to the left?”

Elodie threw her head back and laughed, almost smacking it against the bedpost.

“The guy I sang that song to as he was leaving? Oh my God, Mol, you remember that? ‘To the left to the left, everything you own curves a little to the left.’

He was so not impressed. Seriously though, guess someone else!”

Molly sighed and sat on the floor facing Elodie.

“Okay hmm, let me think for a second. That guy from the gym you went to once? The weird guy on that dating app who liked your toes?”

“Okay, you suck at this game, Mol. I’ll just tell you. It’s Johnny! Xander’s friend from the gym. He’s so cute and actually really funny. I was pleasantly surprised, I honestly thought he would be a bit of a doorknob.”

That would make him and Xander two peas in a pod.

Molly must not have hid her emotions very well.

“Did you seriously just roll your eyes? What’s so horrible about going on a date with Johnny?”

“You’re telling me that you’re going on a date with one of the guys you told me to stay away from? If that isn’t hypocritical then I don’t know what is, Elodie. Not to mention that Johnny is Xander’s best friend. Isn’t that a little, I don’t know, backstabby?”

It is, right?

“Maybe I was wrong, Molly. Maybe not all of them are complete assholes like Xander is. And as for being backstabby, we’re not going to sit at dinner and talk about you and Xander. Don’t be so self-centered.”

I don’t know how my mother and father always remained so even-tempered. I wonder what they would say to Elodie now.

Molly was now looking Elodie dead in the eyes.

“Self-centered? Is this being self-centered, Elodie? Raising a baby all by myself when I know it could mean I’ll lose everything? Why would you date an asshole like Johnny, Elodie. Why?”

Elodie looked down at Molly’s stomach.

“Because I know he’s not like Xander. He won’t go knocking some chick up and then call the next girl on his list.” Elodie lowered her voice and went on, “Don’t be mad at me because you chose the wrong guy.”

What did she just say? Am I hearing her right?

Molly had the urge to slap Elodie across the face. Even though her baby wasn’t able to see what was going on between the two of them, Molly felt a responsibility to act more maturely now that she was going to be a mom.

“I’m going to pretend like you never said that, El.”

Elodie jumped off of the bed and stormed out of the room, but not before turning around to have the final word.

“And I’m going to pretend like you aren’t a jealous friend who’s mad that I get to live my life like a normal person. I thought you could be happy for me, but I guess you’ll just keep being bitter about everything.”

There it is, that stabbing feeling again.

“Don’t come crying to me when Johnny leaves you high and dry, just like Xander did to me. They’re all the same, don’t you know that? What makes you think he’ll treat you any differently? You’re nothing to him. We’re nothing to any of them!”

With that, Elodie kicked her shoes down the hallway and slammed the door.