I tried to call Mel all day but she didn’t answer any of my calls or messages. I drove to her house but there was no answer either. After that morning, all I wanted to do was see her, hold her in my arms and breathe in her calming scent. I knew there must’ve been a good reason why she wasn’t answering, but it didn’t stop the panic that crept up inside of me at the thought that something had happened.

I was sat on the brick wall outside of my apartment when Taylor came down the garden path. His hands were shoved in his pockets and his head was down as he made his way over and took the spot beside me.

“How you doing?” he asked, gazing out at the perfectly manicured lawn.

I shrugged. “I’ve been better.”

Taylor nodded and cleared his throat. “I’m sorry. For everything.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for, Tay. This was all me.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. I do. I have so much to be sorry for. Like you always being there for me when I fucked up in the past and me not being around to return the favour. You never needed me before. Not as much as I needed you. I just figured you had your shit together, unlike the rest of us. It was selfish of me to think that, and I can see that now. This past year has been hell for you. I came here, took over your house, stole your dad away from you…”

“You didn’t steal him. He was never mine to steal. He’s always been ours. We just didn’t always know it. If anything, I should be the one apologising to you. Truth is, since I found out what my dad… our dad, did to my mum, I’ve been angry. So fucking angry. At him. You. Her for not telling me. I didn’t know how to be around you anymore. And honestly? I still don’t. It doesn’t mean that I don’t love you. I do. We’re family. We’ve always been family. I just…” I paused and shrugged “Everything’s different now. I don’t know where I fit into any of this anymore and it scares me.”

“What do you mean you don’t know where you fit in anymore? This is your home, Jake. You are family. You should be here. We want you here. Don’t ever feel like you’re not wanted because you are. But shit happens, whether we like it or not. It’s not always gonna be easy, but see, we’re lucky.”

“How so?”

“Because we have what others don’t. We have each other.”

I side-eyed Taylor and smirked. “Coach liked to make sure we always knew that, right?”

“And he was right. For once.” Taylor grinned. “I hate how we’re so close yet so damn far apart. I want my brother back.”

I nodded. I wanted that, too. I just didn’t know how to get that relationship back again.

“So, Melanie?” he sang, raising his brows suggestively.

“I should thank you for that.” When Taylor frowned, unsure of what I meant, I said, “If you hadn’t blown her off back then we wouldn’t be where we are now.”

“And where is that?”

“I don’t really know. It’s still early days but…”

“But you like her?”

I rolled my eyes. “Obviously.”

“Okay, so you more than like her.”

I thought about it for a moment and shot him a grin. “Yeah, I guess I do more than like her.”

“Speaking of…” Taylor said, trailing off as his eyes focused on something in the distance.

“You son of a bitch!” Mel yelled as she marched towards us.

“That’ll be my cue to leave. Good luck.” Taylor grinned and patted my knee before he stood up and left.

Mel barely acknowledged Taylor as she continued to head straight for me. I was glad she was okay and not physically hurt, but what the hell was wrong with her? I’d seen her on a mission before—mainly to strip me naked—but I had an eerie feeling that that wasn't why she was there. Right then she looked as though she wanted to kill me.

“Woah!” I said, throwing my hands in the air. “What did I do?”

“You damn well know what you did,” she gritted out. “This,” she said, waving what looked like a piece of paper in her hand. “You think this is a joke, hey? Trying to get back at me for what I did to you all those years ago? So what if I yelled your brother’s name in my sleep? Is that what this was for? Did I bruise your ego, Jakey?” she said in a mocking tone that seemed to catch me off guard.

What the fuck was she talking about and why the fuck was she so angry at me? And bringing up Taylor? She was making zero sense and I wasn’t in the mood to hear it.

“Don't flatter yourself, Mel. It wasn't like you were the only girl I was fucking back then,” I found myself saying. I wanted to take the words back as soon as I’d said them, but I knew it wouldn’t make a blind bit of difference.

“Why?” she yelled. “Tell me why you did this? What did I ever do to you, Jake? I mean, really, do to you”

“Mel, what the hell are you on about?” I gripped my head. The girl was really starting to piss me off. I hadn’t seen her like this since the Taylor days. I’d almost forgotten how crazy and irrational she could be.

My nostrils flared as I glanced back at the house. I knew my parents were inside and had to have heard the yelling. I was surprised no one had come to check out the commotion already. Then again, Taylor had likely told them to avoid coming out.

“This. Please, tell me why you did this?” she pleaded, and pushed the card into my hand.

“I have no idea what you're on about.” I shook my head and examined it closely. It was the number of the therapist I had given her. “I was trying to help you, godammit! Why are you so pissed at me?”

“Help me?” she asked.

“Yeah.”

“Help me?” she forced out again and closed the distance between us, her body mere inches from mine as she pushed her tiny fist into my chest. “You are a piece of shit, Jake,” she seethed. Her fists started pounding my chest relentlessly as she repeated the same words over and over.

When I’d had about enough of her onslaught, I caught her wrists and held them out to the side. “Stop. Fuckin’. Hitting. Me,” I pushed out. “Godammit, woman. What the hell is wrong with you?” I asked, dropping her hands.

I had no idea what the fuck was going on. If I had known it would piss her off I wouldn't have done it. She seemed fine about it yesterday. Even looked as though she was even considering it.

“I hate you, Jake,” she eventually whispered. “Of all the things you could've done, it had to be that.” Mel's voice cracked as fresh tears sprang from her eyes. When I gazed at her closely, I knew she wasn’t just being the irrational Mel from back in the days. She looked as though she’d been crying for hours. The whites of her eyes were always so bright against her olive skin. Now they were bloodshot, angry and tired.

Fuck.

“Look,” I sighed. “If I knew it was going to upset you like this I wouldn't have suggested it. It's just a damn number, Mel. Why are you overreacting?”

“Don't play dumb. It isn't just a damn number and you know it. You knew what I would be walking into if I went there. You knew and you still handed it over to me anyway like you were doing me a favour.”

“No. I had no idea. I still don't.”

“You really want to help me, Jake? You can start by leaving me the hell alone. If I wanted your help—which I don't—then I would've asked for it. I don't need you, Jake. I don't need anyone.”

“You keep saying that, Mel. You keep saying the same shit and here you are. You storm over here, completely out of the blue, yelling obscenities at me, over what? A piece of damn paper with a fucking phone number on it? You're a mess, and quite frankly, you really do need help.”

“So what if I’m a mess? Is it really that much of a surprise to you? Why do you even care so much? You can't stand me; we both know that. Why do you care, Jake?”

“I don't,” I lied, shrugging.

“And what about that?” she yelled, pointing at the card again.

“Again, I was trying to help. I would do the same for anyone.”

“You're a bastard, Jake Knight. A worthless, bastarding piece of shit,” she cursed before backing away.

“Oi, watch your mouth,” I warned. I was getting tired of going around in circles. If she wasn't going to tell me what I had done, then she should leave. I wished she would. I’d had enough for one day and I was starting to get a headache.

“Or what?” she said, tossing her arms to the side. “What are you going to do, Jake? Hurt me? Punish me some more? I’m pretty sure I’ve had the worst of what you have to offer. What comes next will be a breeze in comparison.”

I let out a cold laugh and shook my head. “You are seriously nuts.”

“Maybe I am. But while I’m out there being me—you know, nuts—you'll always be you. Just Jake. The ex-footballer who no one wants. The worthless layabout with no real redeeming qualities. And the one who will be forever living in his brother’s shadows.”

“Say that again,” I breathed out, my rapid heart pounding against my chest.

“You all think you have me sussed, right? The bitch. The whore. The one that's only ever going to be good for one thing? A quickie behind the bike shed. The dirty little secret. Well, guess what? I’m going places. I get to leave this town and the godawful people that live in it far, far behind me. I get to follow my dreams and chase the sunset. Where will you be? Stuck here, in Daddy's backyard, watching on the outside as he plays happy families with his other son. See, you all thought you had me figured out, but you were wrong,” she said, pausing to catch her breath. “From where I’m standing, there's only one winner here. I’m going to walk right up that path, shove my legs into some big girl panties and prove to all of you single-minded nobodies that I can do this. I can be who the hell I want to be and I will be. I will fucking do it. And believe me when I tell you this: while I’m out there, living the dream, you'll still be stuck here in Winslow, kicking yourself for losing something that could've been great.”

“Is that right?” I said, stalking towards her, running my thumb across my jawline. I dared her to say more.

“You're damn right it is,” she said, tipping her chin and allowing her confidence to shine through.

“Go. Go, Mel, and don't come back.”

“Don't worry, Jake. I plan on doing just that.” With a final shake of her head she walked away, leaving me dumbfounded and frozen on the spot.

I had no idea what had gotten into Mel that afternoon. I was still just as clueless as I was when she rocked up here, hurling abuse at me. I had forgotten how spiteful she could be and I hated how every word she spat at me felt like another blow to the chest. I spent the last few hours telling myself that it would all blow over, but I wasn’t even sure I wanted it to. If that was who Mel really was then Taylor had been right in what he said last year. I was better off without her.

The door to the apartment opened and Taylor walked in with a crate of beer tucked under his arm. “I figured you could use a drink.” He smirked, dumping the crate on the coffee table and pulling two out. I reached for the bottle, twisted the cap off and took a swig.

He was right. I needed a drink. When I finished downing the entire bottle, Taylor tossed another at me. I caught it and nodded my head in thanks.

“You wanna talk about it?”

I scoffed and shook my head. “I wouldn’t even know where to start.”

“If it makes you feel better I argue with Lola all the time. I wouldn’t worry too much about it.”

“This is Mel we’re talking about. She’s like a tornado when she gets going.”

“Ah, good point,” he said, tilting the bottle towards me. “Rye said you were joining the team.”

“It’s a Sunday League team. Don’t get too excited.”

“It’s practice, right?”

“I guess so.” I shrugged, tipping the bottle to my lips. “So… Southampton, hey?”

“It still doesn’t feel real. Like I’m stuck in some dream or something, waiting for reality to come along and snap me out of it.”

“When do you start training?”

Taylor wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “I’ve got a meeting with Matt tomorrow, along with the director at Southampton. I guess I’ll know for sure after that.”

“Are you nervous?”

“Am I fuck.” He smirked. “I can’t wait to get back out there again. It’s only been a few weeks but I feel like I’ve lost a leg or something. Sorry,” he rushed out, realising his mistake.

“I’ve still got my leg, you dumb arse.” I laughed.

Taylor lifted his shoulder into a shrug. “You know what I mean.”

My phone started ringing on the table and Taylor peered over at it, frowning. “Dude, why is my missus calling you? Something you wanna tell me?”

I knew he was only messing around but I frowned anyway. “I have no idea.”

I swiped my finger across the screen. “Hey, what’s up?

Lola was obviously driving. I could hear the muffled sound of the engine through the handset.

“Jake. Have you seen Mel?”

“This afternoon, why?”

“Look… Sorry, hold on. I’m just pulling over.”

Taylor eyed me curiously and I shrugged. “She’s asking about Mel.”

Taylor frowned. “Why’s she asking about Mel?”

“I don’t know.”

“Jake?” Lola said, sounding clearer than before.

“Yeah, I’m here.”

“Mel came by the centre earlier. I had a new client in. I never checked the name so I never knew who was about to walk in. I should’ve checked. It was stupid of me.”

“What was she there for?”

“I was hoping you could tell me.”

“I don’t…” I shook my head and suddenly everything started to make sense. The card. Why she came over here yelling at me. The spiteful things she said to me. “Lola? What did you say to her?”

“Nothing. I didn’t get the chance to say anything, Jake. She took one look at me and freaked the fuck out. What’s going on with her?”

“Fuck,” I cursed. “This is my fault. I sent her there.”

“Why would you send her to me?”

“I didn’t know you fuckin’ worked there, did I?”

“Alright, don’t take it out on me. I just called to warn you, that’s all.”

“No, I know. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you.”

“Don’t worry about it,” she said. “Is everything okay?”

“No. Everything is far from okay. I can’t believe this,” I groaned in frustration. “Fuck. I gotta go. I need to fix this.” I ended the call and reached for my keys on the coffee table.

“Where are you going? What’s happened?” Taylor asked, concerned.

“I’ve fucked up.” It was all I could tell him. I needed to find Mel and try and fix this mess. She needed to know that I wouldn’t do that to her. Not on purpose, anyway.

“Want me to come with you?” he asked.

I shook my head. “I need to do this alone.”

“Okay,” he said, sitting back down. “But if you need anything…”

“I know. Thanks.” Taylor nodded and I rushed to the door, my keys gripped tightly in my hand. Just as I pulled the door open, I turned back to face him. “Taylor?”

His eyes flicked to mine. “Yeah?”

“I’m sorry for hitting you.”

Taylor grinned. “I’m sorry, too. I shouldn’t have said what I did. I just didn’t want you to get hurt again. After what happened the first time, and the way you behaved afterwards.” He shook his head as if he didn’t want to think about that time, then he continued. “I just… I don’t want to go back there. I want us to be okay, Jake. The past few months have been shit without you, and I don’t want to lose you again,” he admitted.

“You won’t. But I care about her, Tay. She’s not who you think she is.”

“Then what are you still doing here?” He smirked and shooed me out the door without another word.

He was right.

What the fuck was I still doing there?

If she was serious about leaving, then I knew for damn certain that she wouldn’t think twice about going right then. I’d done the one thing she was afraid I would do. I’d hurt her.