A New Man

I’m hardly ever home. When I am, I’m usually sleeping off my shifts. However, something about allowing this man into my house has me feeling like I need to explain why it’s so neat and looks unlived in.

It looks more like a staged home than someplace someone lives. I wouldn’t call myself a neat freak. I honestly just am never here.

“This is a really nice place,” he murmurs beside me.

“Thanks,” I reply. “There’s a bathroom next door to your bedroom. I placed a grooming kit in there. Not saying you need to clean yourself up or anything…I…I just got you a few things just in case.”

My words rush out as my face and ears flame. If it weren’t for my chocolate skin, I’d probably be bright red. I’ve been sticking my foot in my mouth all morning.

“Don’t worry about it. I wouldn’t mind a shave and cut,” he says with a chuckle.

The sound relaxes me and brings a smile to my face. He’s a handsome man under all of that shoulder length hair and the overgrown beard, but I have wondered what he looks like without it. I shouldn’t care, but I’m curious.

“I can take you to a barbershop or spa if you’d like,” I say without thinking.

“Nah, sweetheart. I don’t need to be in anyone’s spa and the shops around here suck,” he says.

My brows bunch. I wonder how he would know about the shops in this neighborhood. That’s a pretty bold thing to assume.

My phone rings before I can comment. It’s my mother. She’s been calling non-stop the last few days. I roll my eyes and point in the direction of the bathroom for him to find it.

Heading into the kitchen to heat the chili I made last night, I answer the phone. I can’t help inhaling deeply, stilling myself for what’s to come. My parents have been overbearing since they found out about the attack.

“Hey, Mom,” I say.

“Hey, your sister said she thought she passed you on the road. Did you finally go home and get some rest?”

“Yes, I did. I made something for dinner tonight and then had a full eight hours of sleep after that,” I reply.

“Well, it’s about time. I hope you plan to rest some more before running back to that hospital to sit at that boy’s bedside.”

I roll my eyes.

“Actually, he was released this morning,” I say.

“Oh,” I can hear the concern in her voice. “Well, did they help him find someplace to stay? Your father would have been more than happy to put him up in a room until he heals.”

“He has a place. I took care of it.”

“Allison,” she drags out. “What have you done now?”

“We’ll talk about it later, Mom.”

“Jesus, these girls are out to kill me,” she says dramatically.

“Later, Mom,” I chuckle and end the call.

While the chili is heating, I work to get the bread in the oven. A nice hot meal is just what the doctor ordered for my new guest. That doctor being me.

I plan to put some meat on those bones while he’s with me. He was so malnourished when he entered the hospital, but I’m sure he’ll fatten up after a few meals with me. After all, I’m here to get him healthy and back out into the world.

Dr. Myers to the rescue.

Nevertheless, I use them. I start with a shower, washing as best I can without soaking the bandages. It takes some effort and a lot of pain, but I make it work.

When I step out of the shower, I wrap a towel around my waist and look myself in the mirror. I look like shit. Although, I think I put a little weight back on since being in the hospital.

“Damn, Roark,” I murmur to the reflection before me.

I need this hair off my face and a haircut I can stand to look at. Reaching for the Wahl clippers in the basket, I shake my head. These aren’t cheap amateur clippers. She spent way too much money on me.

“I’ll pay her back as soon as I figure my shit out,” I huff to myself.

Placing the clippers down, I start with the shears. The sink is filled with my golden locks in no time. Retrieving the clippers again, I bring the old Roark back. I look half human once I have a low fade on the sides and a sharp shape up going.

Seeing the hair products in the basket, I think to try something new. Instead of bringing the top down to match the sides and back, I leave a few inches. Combing it all over, I shrug.

I work on the beard next. Same process. I shear the length off first, but I used the trimmers to give me a close neat beard. I don’t know why I keep the facial hair. I normally shave it completely off, but it works as I look at my slimmer face. It gives the illusion that I have more weight on me than I do.

I take the little brush and groom my new look. It’s the cleanest I’ve felt in five years. I can see me in there somewhere. I nod in satisfaction at the man in the mirror.

“Not bad, Roark,” I say and give myself a wink.

I turn to the clothes I came here in. Allison offered me a pair of scrubs she found after realizing I didn’t have shit to wear. I go to pick them up, but a knock sounds on the door.

“Yeah?” I reply to the tapping.

“I found some clothes for you,” she says through the barrier.

Moving to the door, I crack it open. Allison’s eyes go wide and her mouth falls open. Finally, the recognition I’d been expecting all this time appears.

“Ro,” she chokes out.

“What’s up, Allison?” I say with a crooked grin.

But now, I see it. His blue eyes stand out in his handsome face. He has that sharp shape up like always, with the exception of the longer hair on top. It’s not what I’m used to on him, but I like it. And those dimples. I can see them now with the neatly trimmed beard.

“I…I... Wow, I had no idea. Why didn’t you say something?” I stammer out.

He shrugs his shoulders, drawing my eyes down to his tattoo-covered chest. Okay, looks like he has started to gain some weight back already. I shouldn’t be checking him out in his towel but damn.

“I told you my name,” he replies.

Ro. I can’t believe this.

Yeah, he told me his name, but I didn’t connect the dots. I’ve never known him by his full name. My brows thread.

“What happened to you?”

Ugh, where the hell is my filter? Why can’t I keep my foot out of my mouth around him? I palm my forehead and groan.

When I look up again, his lips are pursed and so many emotions are in his eyes. I see hurt, embarrassment, anger, among a few other things. I feel like a jerk.

“Things change,” he shrugs. “Those for me?”

He’s pointing to the sweats and T-shirt I have in my hand. They belong to my little cousin. I just remembered they were here.

“Oh yeah,” I say softly. Then I start to ramble. “I spoiled my little cousin when he was here for a while before going to college. I went overboard with shopping. He couldn’t get it all into his bags. He had to leave some things behind. I was supposed to ship the rest to him, but I just never had the time and forgot eventually. But um, it worked out fine after all. ”

“Yeah, thanks,” he says holding out his hands.

I give over the items and our fingers brush as he takes them from me. Warmth blooms in my stomach and my skin is left tingling. I take a step back, feeling as if I’ve just been burned.

“I can change that bandage for you,” I offer.

“Yeah, maybe later,” he murmurs.

“Okay, as long as it’s changed.”

“I’ll manage.”

“Um, there’s chili and some bread I baked, if you’re hungry,” I say, dropping my eyes to the floor.

“Smells good. I’ll be out in a few,” he says, closing the door and shutting me out.

“You have got to learn to shut up,” I chastise myself as I walk back to my bedroom to lock myself in so I can scream into my pillow.

Only I would be saved by my crush and find out that he’s homeless. I just don’t understand. Ro had so much going for him. I admired his drive.

I mean, I don’t know him know him. He’s the cousin of the father of my sister’s kids. However, Ro left an impression on me back in the day.

He was different from the guys I was used to. He had an easy swagger, and those eyes. I should have known from the eyes. In my defense, we only met a few times.

There was just that one party. That single night, where for just a moment, I thought we had a connection. At least, until I watched him leave with someone else. I never saw him again after that.

“What are you going to do now?” I groan into my pillow.

Yet, I’ve been sitting here for the last five minutes waiting for her to come back out here. My stomach growls for the umpteenth time. That chili smells more than amazing. I don’t want to just help myself to anything in her home. I also don’t want to be a bother.

Staring into my palms resting on the table before me with my fingers lock together, I play my life over and over. How did it all get so fucked up? I wanted something like this.

A girl as fine as Allison. A nice crib like this. Maybe even a couple of babies by now. I would have expanded the shops and been a brand.

Now, I can’t even get my barber license back and my shops are gone. Rage burns my veins. This is my fault. Always looking out for others and not myself.

“Hey,” Allison’s voice pulls me from my thoughts.

I lift my head and look in her direction just as my stomach growls again. I wince on the inside, but the soft smile she gives me causes my entire body to relax.

“Why didn’t you get yourself something to eat?” She says moving into the kitchen.

“I didn’t want to take liberties. I’m a guest,” I reply.

“Oh please,” she laughs. “As long as you’re here, think of it as home. Anything you want, you’re welcome to.”

Does that include you?

Shit. See that’s the reason I know I should leave. I’m still attracted to her. Maybe even more so. At about five six, maybe five seven, Allison has filled out a bit more since back when I first met her ten years ago. It looks good though. Really good.

I clear my throat. “Thanks.”

It’s lame but it’s all I’ve got. Literally. I look around her house. It’s picture perfect. I couldn’t even fix some things for her if I wanted to. It looks like she has everything she needs.

I wonder if that includes a man.

My lips tighten. I need to bury those thoughts. She’s a surgeon and I’m what? An ex-con. I hate that word. If I’d earned it I’d be good with that, but I haven’t.

“You look like you have a lot on your mind. Want to talk about it?” She says as she places a bowl in front of me and a basket of bread on the table.

“Not really,” I say before diving into the chili.

My eyes close and I groan. It’s that good. I haven’t had a home cooked meal in years. I’m shoveling spoonsful in my mouth like I’m in the mess hall.

Reaching for the bread I rip a chunk off and start to dip it in the sauce. My head lifts when I feel her eyes on me. She’s sitting with a bowl of her own. A smile is on that gorgeous face as always.

“Is it good?”

“Yeah, you might have some skills,” I say, giving her a lopsided grin.

“Thanks,” she says dipping her head shyly.

I remember that being one of the things that attracted me to her. She has this quiet intrigue about her that I like. I wanted to explore that until Carter told me who her family was and that she was destined to be a doctor.

I knew then she was out of my league. And that was before my life blew up in my face. The thought makes me force my attention back to my bowl.

“I want to thank you for all of this. I don’t think I have. Thank you,” I say as I stare down into my food.

“You’re more than welcome. I want to help in any way I can,” she replies.

“Why?”

The words float out before I can stop them. When I look up she’s staring at me with her brows creased. Her eyes soften and she reaches across the table for one of my hands.

Sparks fly the moment she touches me. The lift of her brows tell me she feels it too. She doesn’t remove her hand though.

“Some people just want to be helpful. I’m one of them. It’s why I became a doctor. I want to help people. The fact that you helped me is an added incentive. I think now that I know you’re family that’s another reason,” she says and shrugs.

“Family?” I say in confusion.

Her face pinches a little, bring a sour look to her features. She shifts in her seat a bit. I watch as she seems to war with her own thoughts.

“India…never mind. It’s complicated and not my place to tell anyone,” she says.

My interest is peaked, but I don’t say anything. I lost touch with so many people when my life fell apart. Some just didn’t care and some were too busy with their own lives to help me with mine.

“We can go out shopping tomorrow for more clothes. I’ll need to get things for Thanksgiving dinner while I’m at it,” she says.

“You don’t have to do that. Wait…Thanksgiving?

“Yeah, I know there’s still about two weeks to go, but I hate waiting until the last minute and being out in the chaos,” she says.

“Damn, I’ve been on the streets that long,” I say more to myself.

I stand. Now that I think about it, the night I was shot was Halloween, but it’s just dawning on me how long it’s been. My appetite suddenly vanishes. Reality setting in. I have nothing to be grateful for and haven’t had anything in a very long time.

“I’m going to get some sleep,” I say reaching for my bowl to clean after myself.

“Leave it. I’ll take care of it. You can do the dishes tomorrow,” she says with that sweet smile.

“All right. Good night,” I reply and turn for the bedroom she pointed out as mine.