Craig didn’t seem to be so happy about me leaving the room, but neither was I. There were a lot of things that I wanted to say to him, but I just didn't know how. After the day that we had together, what almost happened and then what didn’t happen, I was more confused than ever before.

I thought that he had kept all these things from me, lied to me, so I wouldn’t know who he was. The thing was though, I always knew who he was. I always knew that he was going to do the best for everyone involved. Maybe Candy was right, he was just being romantic. I didn't exactly see it that way, but I knew that from how he looked at things, he could have very well thought that he was just trying to be romantic.

It was crazy that I was even thinking about it. After everything that had happened, I really didn't know what I was thinking about. The last thing I wanted to do was make my life more complicated, and he was nothing but complications. He had always been that way, ever since that fated call so long ago.

For some time, I tried to tell myself that I could just ignore the feelings. Just ignore the fact that I wanted to go to Craig. If I did, all this was for nothing and then he would win. He would think that this was the way to take care of me, to just tell me what to do. I just couldn't let it happen. Pride was standing in the way again, like it had many times with us.

When I finally did doze off, it was early in the morning, and I didn't sleep for very long. When I opened my eyes again, everybody in the house was sleeping, like I should have been doing.

I wanted to go to Craig, but I just couldn't. I knew that I would regret giving in later. I wouldn’t worry about it as he was giving me pleasure, but soon after, I was sure that I would.

The third time that I woke up, I went towards his room and I knew what my intent was. I was going to get what my body needed, no matter how complicated it was going to be for my mind in the morning.

I got outside of his door and stood in front of it for several moments. I knew that I was supposed to be in bed, sleeping, not thinking about Craig, but it was impossible to get him out of my head. Now I was ready, my hand raised, poised to knock, when I realized what I was doing. I hadn’t even been here one day, and I was already trying to break the cardinal rule of this whole exercise. I couldn’t be intimate with him. It was ever so clear to me and I don’t know what I was thinking.

I stepped back from the door, like it was on fire. I knew better, and I was letting my needs outweigh everything else. How hard was it going to be? I had to wait less than ten days and then I could have the test and get my divorce. I wasn’t going to complicate it further by having sex with him. I had to know better than that.

Turning around, I went back to my own bedroom and shut the door softly. I went back to bed and tried to ignore all of the feelings that I had about the moment. After a few minutes in bed, I made my way to the bathroom, ready to take care of the aching need that I found myself in. It was the only way that I was going to be sane enough to get through this next week and a half.

It had only been a day. I was really going to have to pull myself together.

“Did you sleep well?”

“Well enough I imagine.”

“I heard you in the shower this morning really early. I just figured that you were having trouble sleeping or something.”

“Yeah, it got a little hot during the night. I went to take a shower and cool off.”

“Opening a window works too.”

“I will have to remember that for next time.”

He said that he had heard me in the shower, so I had to wonder what he heard. Did he hear me coming? The orgasms had come over me quickly and there wasn’t much that I could do about it. I had tried to keep the sounds in, but it had been impossible to.

“Did the shower help?”

“Help?”

“Yeah, you said you were hot. Did it help?”

I wasn’t going to tell him what I really thought about it. I certainly hadn't been worried about the temperature. It had been the very last thing on my mind.

“Yeah, as much as to be expected.”

“Was there something else that you wanted to get off of your mind?”

It wasn’t right that he knew what I was doing in there, but he wanted me to admit it. I wasn't going to do it. I don't know why he wanting to hear me say it, but I wasn't going to.

“No not really.”

“Oh, I thought I saw you by my door last night, and I just wanted to make sure that you didn't want to talk or something. You know that I'm always there for you. The door is always open to you.”

He acted like he wanted to say a little more, but he didn't. I was just going to take that as a good enough sign.

“Thank you Craig. I assure you that there was nothing you could do. I just want to get home, and get this over with. That is all I'm worried about right now. I am sure that I will get back to normal once I'm back in the states. I don't live it here.”

“You do live here with me Jeanine. I hope you can realize that soon.”

He was still on the case that we were supposed to be together. I liked to think that way, I really did, but I knew that a relationship that wasn't built on honesty, would never last. I felt like now he was being more honest with me than before, but I didn’t think for a second that he didn’t have more secrets beneath his sleeve. I felt like a lot of things were still missing, and I didn't know what they were yet, but I could feel them not there.

We went down to his other house for a couple of days. I knew that he was trying to remain calm and for a little bit there, he did. Craig always had this power over me, but I didn't let him test me again. Every time I did, something bad happened. It was hard for me to say no to him, even harder to let him touch me. It was all I could think about the whole time we were on the northern coast.

When we got back to his house in town, I wanted to go down to the beach. He had somewhere that he had to go, and he was very anxious for me to stay in until then.

I didn’t want to wait, and I told him that I would wear his ring, if it would make him feel better. The smile that went across his face was astounding and I couldn't believe that he got so wound up over something so little. His reaction, made me rethink everything.

I felt different with is ring on me, and I really didn't know why. We were getting divorced now, that's why I was here. But then why did I feel so strange putting his ring on, letting him tell the world that I was his? It didn't make sense to me. The conflicting emotions were hard to get through, and it didn't look like it was going to get any better anytime soon.