She couldn’t believe she’d done it.

Just…thrown herself at Caleb like that.

Even more amazing was that he hadn’t seemed to mind. In fact, he’d seemed to enjoy it quite a lot for a minute there. Until he’d changed his mind.

At least she’d tried. She could feel proud of herself for that much. She’d made a pass at a super-hot guy without completely making a fool of herself. How about that for New Improved Penny’s first foray into uncharted territory?

She spent the rest of the day trying to catch up on work while visions of Caleb tried to superimpose themselves over the prior art for the thermoplastic polyurethane cell phone case on her computer screen.

At five o’clock, she logged out and drove to the hospital to visit George. He was looking better tonight. Sitting up in bed, talking a little easier. She stayed a half hour this time, and George even did some of the talking, complaining about the food and the noise and the nurses who woke him up at all hours of the night.

When she got home, she was lucky enough to squeeze her small Kia Soul into a cramped space on the street two blocks from her building. Her apartment didn’t have an assigned space, and this time of day the street parking situation resembled a scene from Mad Max. In the year since she’d moved to Los Angeles, she’d become an expert parallel parker.

As she walked up the sidewalk, Penny noticed a man standing in front of her building, staring up at it. Fear prickled at the back of her neck until the stranger’s silhouette resolved into a familiar build with a slouch she knew well, and a dizzying shot of adrenaline surged through her veins.

It was Caleb.

She said his name and he turned to her in surprise, his face contorting into the guilty expression of a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar—or standing outside the cookie jar creepily staring at it, in this case.

Penny stopped in front of him. He smelled like coffee, even standing outside with two feet of space between them, and it immediately triggered a sense memory of their kiss in the storeroom. Her mouth watered in response.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, trying to sound calm.

It had been disorienting enough to see him at the hospital, outside of Antidote. But that was nothing compared to seeing him here, where she lived. On her turf. It was like a character from a television show had stepped off the screen and materialized at her front door.

He looked sheepish. “Definitely not stalking you outside your apartment.”

“It’s not stalking if you’ve been invited.” She could barely hear herself speak over the racing of her pulse. The Indy 500 was thrumming inside her ribcage.

He plunged his hands into his pockets. Was she really such a temptress that he felt the need to handcuff himself around her all the time?

“Where’s your boom box?” she asked. “Aren’t you going to hold it over your head and play Peter Gabriel at me? I assume that’s why you’re here.”

The corner of his mouth twitched. “I guess I must have forgotten it.” She adored that mouth twitch. She wanted to devour it.

“That’s too bad. I love Peter Gabriel.” She stared into his eyes, caught in their mesmerizing spell. Outdoors, the gold in them seemed to glow even brighter, taking on glints of copper and bronze.

“I’ve been trying to talk myself out of knocking on your door.”

A little spike of hope kicked her in the back of the knees. “For how long?” she asked, fighting off the urge to do a little victory dance right there on the sidewalk.

“About ten minutes.”

“How’s it going?”

He shrugged, hands still deep in his pockets. “So-so.”

She was starting to feel faint. “Caleb?”

His eyes dropped to her mouth. “Hmmm?”

“Do you want to come up?”

He shook his head. “Yes.”

A laugh burst out of her like a champagne cork. And then a miracle happened.

Caleb smiled.

An unrestrained, genuine smile curved his lips, lighting up his whole face as it shone out of his eyes. It was even more beautiful than she’d imagined. It was like the rain clouds had parted and a beam of sunlight appeared from the heavens to create a double rainbow.

Penny grinned in response. “I didn’t know you could smile. You should do it more often.”

His smile dimmed a little, but didn’t completely disappear. It was still a single rainbow. “I smile.”

“Not like that. Not like you mean it.”

“I’m just selective about who I smile at.”

“I feel honored to have finally passed the test.”

Regret flashed in his eyes. He looked down at the sidewalk and shook his head. “I don’t know why I’m here.”

“Yes you do.” Every muscle in her body was quivering with need. She wanted to leap at him and lavish him with kisses, but she held herself back. He was still skittish, like a lost dog. If she moved too quickly she might frighten him away.

A car with a faulty muffler cruised by like a shark, in search of a parking space. She waited until it had passed. “Okay, well, this has been fun, but I’m going upstairs. Are you coming with me?”

A muscle twitched in Caleb’s jaw. He had a great jaw. Perfectly angled, leading to a strong chin. Just the right amount of stubble for maximum sexiness. “I shouldn’t.”

“So you say.” She held her hand out to him and waited.

He stared at it with a mixture of wariness and longing, as if she’d offered him drugs. Her self-esteem swelled two sizes like the Grinch’s heart. Caleb wanted her. It felt good to be wanted.

When he finally slid his hand into hers, she could swear she saw stars. Was that sound the local high school’s marching band practicing in the distance or a chorus of Whoville Whos raising their voices in song?

Goose bumps shimmied down her arm as his calluses scraped against her palm. They locked eyes again. For a moment they just stood there on the sidewalk holding hands. Getting used to the feel of it. Bracing themselves for what came next.

It’s happening.

Struggling to contain her elation, Penny tugged him up the walk to her building. Her apartment was on the second floor, and they continued holding hands as they climbed the cement steps. When they got to her door with its welcoming wreath of dried flowers, Penny regretfully released his hand to fish her keys out of her purse.

Caleb stepped up behind her when she slid her key into the lock. Heat radiated off him as his front pressed against her back. His fingers moved through her hair, brushing it aside, then his lips grazed her neck.

Abandoning the keys in the lock, she spun to face him. They were so close her breasts grazed his chest. He put one hand flat against the door beside her head; the other reached up to trace her cheekbone. She shivered as his rough fingertips trailed over her skin. He bent his head, and their noses brushed. His breath whispered across her cheekbone, then he pressed a soft kiss to her temple.

A sigh escaped her lips as her hands fisted in his T-shirt, tugging him closer. His hand trailed down her neck to her shoulder, his thumb settling in the cradle of her collarbone. He pressed his forehead against hers. “I should go.”

Her stomach sank like a lead weight. “No, you shouldn’t.” She gave his shirt a hopeful little tug. “You should definitely come inside.”

He pulled back and shook his head. “I can’t.”

Annoyance flared within her. He couldn’t just keep teasing her and then disappearing. “Relax. I’m not going to jump you.” The corner of her mouth pulled into a smirk. “Unless you want me to.”

His eyes darkened. “You have no idea.”

Another tug. “Then come inside.” She was never letting go of this T-shirt. He’d have to pry it out of her rigor-mortised fingers.

“Penelope.” Her name came out as a growl. She’d never heard anything sexier in her life.

“Caleb. Come inside.” She shoved the door open and he let her pull him over the threshold. She didn’t let go until she had the door closed behind them.

His eyes traveled around her apartment, taking it in as she slipped out of her shoes and set her purse on the dining table. There wasn’t a ton to see. The space was dominated by a dinette with four chairs and a big cozy couch with a hand-knit throw draped across the back. On one wall stood a bookcase overflowing with Blu-rays and old schoolbooks, and in the middle of the room sat a leather ottoman with a wooden tray that served as a coffee table. There wasn’t even space for a second armchair—something she considered extremely fortunate at the present moment.

She gestured to the wicker mat beside the door where she’d put her flats. “Take off your shoes.”

He obeyed, bending over to untie his scuffed work boots before lining them up carefully next to hers.

“Do you want something to drink? I was going to make some tea, but I’ve also got beer and wine. Or I could make you coffee!” she added. “Wouldn’t that be a treat?”

He straightened and shoved his hands in his back pockets, looking amused. “Tea’s fine.”

“Make yourself comfortable.” She went into the kitchen to put on the kettle. “Spicy chai or orange zinger?”

“Chai.”

She got out two mugs and put a teabag in each. Spicy chai for him and orange zinger for her. “Do you take anything in your tea?”

“Black, please.”

She went to the bathroom while the tea was steeping to do a quick hair and makeup check and apply a fresh coat of deodorant. Just in case.

He was staring at the contents of her bookcase when she came out. “You watch a lot of TV shows,” he said as she dumped the tea bags into the trash.

She carried his mug of chai to him and gazed at the bookcase fondly. “These are my most favorite shows. The ones I like to watch over and over.”

“Why buy it when everything’s on Netflix?”

She blew across the top of her tea to cool it off. “Everything’s not on Netflix. Sometimes they drop a show, and then you can’t watch it when you want to. I like knowing that I can always watch my favorite shows in an emergency.”

His brows drew together in amused incomprehension. “A TV emergency?”

“Yes! When I’ve had a bad day, I like to zone out on the couch and watch something that will make me feel better.”

“Does that happen a lot?”

“All the time.”

She took her tea to the couch and sat down. After a moment’s hesitation he followed, leaving plenty of space between them. She turned toward him and he did the same, mirroring her position. They regarded one another silently as they cradled their tea.

The chai in his mug scented the air with spices. It smelled the way his skin had smelled. The memory of it made her feel warm all over. The heat started low, and spread up through her chest and into her face.

“What?” he said warily.

She sipped her orange zinger. “Nothing.”

“You’re staring at me.”

“You’re staring at me.”

He shook his head. “This is weird, isn’t it? Tell me it’s weird for you too.”

“A little.”

She’d used up all her bold plays getting him here, and she didn’t have a next move. It was one thing to screw up her courage to kiss someone who’d already kissed her once. But now that he was in her apartment, she had no idea what to do next. Was she supposed to seduce him? She wasn’t used to being that girl. She wanted to be that girl, but she didn’t know how.

She’d always relied on men to make the first move. They set the pace and she followed it. But if she let Caleb set the pace, he’d be in Mississippi before they’d made any real progress. Every instinct she had was urging her not to let him get away—not without a taste test, at least.

This was her chance to be the girl who had fun instead of good little Penny. To have a meaningless fling with a hot guy who was about to disappear from her life forever. She wanted this. Not only because he was so, so hot, but because she wanted to prove to herself that she could have hot sex simply for the sake of hot sex. No commitment, no attachment, no feelings.

She set her mug down and laid her hand on the couch between them, palm up. “You don’t have to be scared of me. I don’t bite.”

The corner of his mouth twitched. “That’s disappointing.”

She grinned at him. “Maybe if you ask nice.”

He graced her with another of those dazzling smiles as he placed his hand in hers. She’d always thought the term “panty-melting” was dumb when she read it in stories, but seeing that smile, it felt keenly apropos.

“I don’t even know your last name,” she said, tangling their fingers together.

His thumb stroked over her knuckle. “Mayhew.”

“Caleb Mayhew.” She rolled it around on her tongue like a sip of expensive wine. “I like it.”

“It’s not as good as Popplestone.”

“Few things are.” She turned his hand over and cradled it in both of hers like a palm reader. “Your hands are so rough.”

His fingers flexed. “Sorry.”

“No, I like it.” She ran her fingertips over the calluses, imagining how they’d feel on her body. She never knew calluses could be so sexy.

“It’s from lifting weights.”

“I knew you worked out. A body like yours doesn’t happen by accident.”

He started to pull his hand away but she held on fast, locking her eyes with his. “Why does that make you uncomfortable?”

He held her gaze for a moment before lowering his eyes with a light shrug. “It gets old, only being appreciated for my looks.”

She traced the veins in his wrist with her fingertips. “I appreciate lots of things about you.”

He took a drink of his tea. “Yeah, right.”

“I appreciate the way you make coffee.”

He snorted.

“You make the best latte art of anyone.”

“Great.”

“I always liked that you were nice to George. I’m a little jealous, to be honest.”

He lifted his eyes. “Of George?”

“That you talked to him when you wouldn’t talk to me. You know, it’s not my fault you haven’t let me get to know you. It’s not like I haven’t tried.”

Caleb’s eyes flicked away. “I was intimidated by you.”

It was Penny’s turn to snort. “Yeah, right.”

“I was. You’re so smart and beautiful and confident. You seem like you have your whole life together.”

“Come on.”

“It’s true.”

“You’re going to medical school, so obviously you’re smart and you’ve got your life together too.”

He scowled into his mug. “It’s all an illusion.”

“I just wanted to be your friend. Why wouldn’t you let me?”

He leaned forward to set his tea on the coffee table before answering. “I didn’t see the point of making friends when I knew I was going to be leaving soon.”

She imagined him as a little boy, saying the same thing as he moved from one new school to another, and it broke her heart. She curled her fingers into his palm. “There doesn’t need to be a point to having friends.”

“I’ll bet you have a lot of friends.”

“And I’ll bet you don’t have very many.”

When he didn’t say anything, Penny turned his hand over and laced their fingers together. Her whole body ached for him. Being this close to him was suffocating. But she made herself wait. She needed to be patient. She didn’t want to scare him away.

He swiveled his head toward her. “Do you still just want to be my friend?”

“No,” she said quietly. “Not just. Not since you kissed me.”

He looked down at their clasped hands. “Were you surprised when I did that?”

She took a chance and scooted toward him on the couch. “Yes. But it was a good surprise. The best.”

His fingers squeezed hers. “I didn’t mean to do it. It just happened.”

She scooted a little more and the couch cushion helpfully tipped her toward him. “Do you regret it?”

“No.” He lifted his other hand to her face and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear.

“Do you want to kiss me again?” she asked as his fingertips explored the curve of her jaw. Desire was surging like an electric current inside her. She’d never felt this helpless and this powerful at the same time.

He took his time answering. “Yes.”

“Why don’t you?”

“Because I’m afraid if I start, I won’t be able to stop.”

“Then don’t stop. I’m not made of glass. You’re not going to break me.”

Something stirred in the depths of his eyes. “Maybe you’re going to break me.”

She almost laughed. “Somehow I doubt it.”

His smile washed over her. “Did you know you’re the best part of most of my days?”

She blinked at him. “Me?”

“You. You’re amazing, Penelope.”

“If I’m so amazing, why aren’t you kissing me?” She’d meant it to sound light and teasing, but it didn’t come out that way. Because that was the question, wasn’t it? What was wrong with her that he kept holding himself back?

His frown deepened and she looked away.

“Hey.” He tilted her chin toward him. His eyes roamed over her face, so soft and deep, she could sink right into them.

She wanted him to kiss her so badly, every nerve ending in her body was craving it. But she’d been the forward one last time. She wasn’t doing it again. There was signaling your interest in someone and then there was relentlessly throwing yourself at them. If he wanted to kiss her again, he had to decide to do it.

“Penelope.” He looked sad. Regretful.

He was about to tell her he hadn’t meant it. She could already hear the excuses. That she was a great girl, just not his type. How he liked her a lot, but not in that way. He’d just gotten carried away in the moment when he kissed her before. This wasn’t what he wanted. She wasn’t what he wanted.

His lips parted, and she braced herself to hear that she’d been an experiment. A mistake.

Instead, he pressed his mouth to hers.

Her whole body sagged in relief, tipping her toward him on the couch even more. His arm slipped around her as he softly—so softly—kissed her mouth open. When their tongues touched the taste of his spicy chai mingled with her orange zinger. It tasted like Christmas morning. Like coming downstairs and getting that first glimpse of all the presents under the tree. Promise and possibility and wonder.

He sighed against her lips, and that was how she knew. He wanted her. He wanted this. At least as much as she did. His hand cupped her jaw, his fingertips stroking her skin as his mouth moved over hers slowly. Intently. Savoring her like a new and wonderful flavor of ice cream.

Feeling emboldened, she twisted her body toward him and swung her legs up onto the couch, tucking them beneath her. The arm around her tightened, pulling her even closer. Encouraging her. She slid a knee over his thigh and he let out a low groan as it settled between his legs.

He kissed her harder and she ground her hips against his thigh. She couldn’t help herself. She was lost in the softness of his lips and taste of his tongue. The prickly scrape of his stubble. Her knee slid up higher between his legs and he groaned again, head lolling back and eyes closing. She smiled smugly, reveling in the newfound feeling of power over him.

His hand glided up her spine as he gazed at her with hunger in his eyes. Experimentally, she moved her knee again and laughed as he groaned a third time. The hand on her spine slid into her hair. His fingers grasped the nape of her neck, pulling her mouth to his as his other hand grabbed her leg and moved it so she was straddling both his legs.

She nipped playfully at his lower lip and shifted her weight until she was comfortably settled in his lap. “Is that okay?” she asked, afraid she might be too heavy for him.

His hands cupped her ass. “Better than okay.” Gifting her with another of his rare smiles, he gave her cheeks a squeeze.

So many smiles. She felt blessed. No wonder he was so careful about showing them to anyone. The women who came into the coffee shop would throw their underwear across the counter if they saw Caleb smile like this.

Penny gazed down at their legs, marveling at the size and strength of his thighs. They were even bigger than hers. But where hers were soft and pliant, his had been chiseled out of marble like a Michelangelo.

She caught sight of the tattoo on his biceps and reached for it. Pushing up his sleeve to expose the full length of it, she ran her fingers over his skin, tracing the words as she read them: Transit umbra, lux permanet.

“What does it mean?”

He played with a strand of her hair. “Shadow passes, light remains.”

“I like that.” She smoothed her hand down his arm, unable to believe this was really happening. She’d never been this close to anyone half as good-looking as Caleb. Looks had never mattered to her as much as personality—or at least that was what she’d always told herself. In truth, an opportunity like this had never presented itself before. And now here she was sitting in this gorgeous man’s lap, for crying out loud. What was even her life right now?

She placed her hand on Caleb’s chest and felt his heart thud against her palm, quick as a rabbit’s. His chest rose and fell, his breathing heavy, and it shocked her to realize it was because of her. She’d made his heart speed up and his lungs heave just by touching him.

She slid her hands down his torso, enjoying the heady feeling as his rib cage expanded under her hands with every breath. He watched her with dark, heavy-lidded eyes as she ran her fingertips over his abs. Following the ridges like a topographical map, she settled her hands on his waist. There wasn’t an ounce of give to it. Not a single pocket of excess fat to be found. She could only imagine what he must look like under that T-shirt. Images from the cover of Men’s Health danced before her eyes. There was definitely a six-pack under there, and she longed to see it. Did she dare lift his shirt up?

No, not quite. Not yet anyway.

She stroked his stomach with her thumbs, smiling as his muscles contracted at her touch. “So I’m the best part of your day, huh?”

“You have no idea.” He lifted both his hands to her face, cupping it gently as he drew her in for a kiss. Their mouths met in a slow, luxurious slide. One of his hands curled into her hair while the other traveled to her shoulder, then over and down to graze the side of her breast as his fingers spread over her ribs.

She let out an embarrassing little whimper and felt him smile against her mouth.

“All this time I had no idea you even liked me,” he murmured.

She pulled back to stare at him. “Are you kidding? I was always nice to you.”

He pressed a kiss to the corner of her jaw. “Yeah, but you’re nice to everyone.”

“Well, that’s true.” She ran her fingers through his hair as his lips moved down her throat.

“How was I supposed to know you weren’t just being polite?” His breath heated her skin as he pressed a series of open-mouthed kisses over her throat.

“I was being polite, but you could have given me some encouragement. Then I would have been more than just polite.” Teeth nipped at her skin and she shivered.

“I was afraid to. I knew I was leaving.”

“Not for months.” Her fingers tightened in his hair as her chest clenched. “We could have had so much time.”

She felt him hesitate. “I was sort of seeing someone last year.”

“Sort of?”

“We were…let’s say engaged to be engaged.”

Swallowing an irrational flare of jealousy, she lifted his head to look in his eyes. The pain she saw in them made her throat burn. “What happened?”

“She didn’t like where I got into med school. She’d been hoping for somewhere a little more exciting than Jackson, Mississippi.”

“I’m sorry.”

He shrugged like it was all water under the bridge. Que será, será. “In retrospect, I dodged a bullet there.” His mouth dropped to Penny’s shoulder and she let her eyes fall closed as he kissed his way to her cleavage with intense concentration. “I thought about doing this, you know. Every day you came into the shop I thought about it. You have no idea.” His index finger trailed down her chest and settled in the crevice between her breasts. “But then you started flirting with that guy Kenneth.”

“Only because he flirted with me first. It could have been you.” She lifted a hand to Caleb’s face. “I would have preferred you.”

He leaned back and gazed at her with eyes that had turned to dark, inky pools. His pupils were so wide she could barely see the gold in his irises anymore. “And now it’s too late.”

“It’s not,” she said, trying to keep the desperation out of her voice.

“I’m trying to warn you off me, and you’re not making it easy.”

She clenched her thighs around his. “I like being on you.”

His eyes closed and he let out a low groan. “You know what I mean.”

She bent her head toward him, her lips just barely brushing against his. “You like it too.”

His eyes opened and locked with hers. “I do.” His hand dropped to her hip. Yes, she thought as it slid down the outside of her thigh. More of that. His fingers ceased their journey and tightened on her thigh. “That’s why I should go.”

Just like that, her happy bubble burst. Again. “No, you shouldn’t.”

“I have to.” His hands clenched around her waist and he moved her off him like she weighed nothing.

“Why?”

His eyes avoided hers. “I have somewhere I have to be tonight. I’m sorry. I can’t stay.” It sounded like a lie. He stood up, wincing as he adjusted his pants.

Serves you right, she thought vindictively. She hoped he ran into her elderly downstairs neighbor, Mrs. Jourgensen, on his way out.

“I’m sorry,” he said again as he put on his shoes.

Penny nodded and stared at the floor. The words please don’t go hovered on her tongue, but pride prevented her from saying them aloud.

When he had his shoes on, he came back to the couch and stood in front of her. “Penny.”

“What?” she said without looking up.

“Penelope.” He caught her hand and pulled her into his arms.

She lacked the fortitude to resist him. Her arms wrapped around his waist as she pressed her face into his chest, breathing him in. Change your mind, she thought fiercely. You don’t want to leave. Stay with me. Kiss me. Make love to me.

He held her tightly. Then he kissed the top of her head and gently extracted himself from her grasp. “I’ll see you Monday,” he said, and let himself out of her apartment.

Well, crud. She’d gotten close this time, but still no cigar.

And, man, did she want his cigar. She wanted it bad. She was starting to feel like Charlie Brown. Lying in the grass after Lucy had yanked the football away yet again, wondering why this kept happening.

Something was holding him back. But was it really just his fear of hurting her? Or something else?

She felt like she was wearing him down though. He’d wanted her. That much she was sure of. Maybe if she’d been a little more aggressive. Maybe if she’d come right out and asked him to stay…

Next time.

Next time she’d have more courage.

She just had to make sure there was a next time.