Penny went back to the waiting room in a daze and made both her and Caleb’s goodbyes to Mike. As she rode downstairs in the elevator, her mind replayed the kiss with Caleb on an infinity loop.

That was…wow. Caleb had kissed her.

And it had been hot. Super hot.

Except then he’d just…left? Which sucked.

Was he repulsed? Embarrassed? Ashamed?

Penny felt herself getting a little mad. He was the one who’d kissed her. It wasn’t like she’d been throwing herself at him. In fact, she’d been doing pretty much the exact opposite of that. If he hadn’t wanted to kiss her, why had he?

Had the kiss been that bad? Penny didn’t think so. She was a habitual overachiever, which meant she’d worked hard to perfect her kissing technique and had received a lot of compliments in the past. She felt pretty confident she was a good kisser. Caleb had sure seemed to be enjoying himself in the moment.

Could he have a girlfriend?

It was possible, she realized as a sinking feeling formed in her gut. He’d never mentioned one, but he’d never mentioned a lot of things. It was only recently he’d started opening up about himself at all. Maybe he’d been hiding a girlfriend all this time. Penny felt sick at the thought. And even angrier.

By the time she got home, it was seven o’clock and she’d missed a half day’s work. She should probably try to make up some of the hours now. Those technical specifications weren’t going to read themselves.

Instead, she called Olivia.

“What’s up?” her friend said when she answered.

“So many things.” Penny sank back into the cushions of her couch. “I don’t even know where to start.”

“Chronological or ascending order of importance. Pick one.” Olivia had a direct and ordered approach to everything, which was exactly what Penny needed right now.

“Chronological.” Penny couldn’t even begin to rate the day’s events according to importance, so she started with George’s heart attack and the ensuing hours waiting around the hospital for him to get out of surgery.

“Oh, wow, Pen.”

“That’s not even all of it,” Penny said, squeezing her eyes shut.

“What else?”

“Hottie Barista kissed me.”

“Whoa,” Olivia said. “Back the fuck up. When did he do that?”

“At the hospital.” Penny realized she was starving and went into the kitchen. “When Mike went to call his wife, Caleb tried to sneak off and leave.”

“He pulled an Irish goodbye,” Olivia said knowingly.

“Exactly!” Penny grabbed a container of leftover beef stew out of the fridge and put it in the microwave. “So I went after him and followed him into the stairwell.”

“And?”

“And he kissed me,” Penny said, feeling warm again at the memory.

“Just like that? Without saying anything?”

“Practically. It was definitely out of nowhere. One second he was trying to sneak away and the next he was staring at me really intensely and then…he pushed me up against the wall and kissed me.”

It must have been a moment of temporary insanity. That was the only explanation Penny could think of. A stressful day, emotions running high. The two of them alone together in an unfamiliar environment. Maybe he’d forgotten who she was for a second and mistaken her for someone he was attracted to.

“Huh,” Olivia said. “What’d he say after?”

“Nothing! He just ran off.” Her stomach twisted. That part of it had been sort of humiliating.

“He kissed you out of nowhere and then ran away without a word?”

“Pretty much. All he said was, ‘I have to go.’ And then he literally sprinted down the stairs to get away from me. It’s weird, right?”

“Yeah, it’s weird. How was the kiss?”

Penny touched her lips, smiling. “Outstanding.”

“Nice. Congrats, I guess.”

“But what do I do now?”

“What do you want to do?”

Penny thought about Caleb’s fingers sliding into her hair. The gentle scrape of his teeth on her bottom lip and the taste of his tongue. “I want to kiss him again.”

“I thought you swore off dating?”

“That was before a super-hot guy kissed me in a hospital stairwell.”

“Fair point.”

The microwave dinged and Penny reached for a potholder. “I’m going to see him tomorrow and I don’t know how to act.” She carried the steaming container over to the table. “Do I pretend it never happened? Do I follow his lead and see how he acts?”

“No, fuck all that,” Olivia said. “He kissed you and you deserve an explanation. You’re not a character on a badly written TV show. Don’t be too gutless to have an adult conversation. Be direct. Ask him outright what the fuck the deal is.”

Penny’s stomach clenched in apprehension. “Just like that? Just walk right up to him and say, ‘Hey, Caleb, why did you kiss me and run off?’”

“Why not? It’s not like not talking about it is going to erase the fact that it happened or make it any less weird. So you might as well deal with it and move on. One way or the other.”

Penny stirred her soup and tried to imagine herself having a dialogue like that with Caleb. She could barely manage benign, easy conversations with him. How were they going to talk about something like this? “I don’t know,” she said. “I don’t think I can do it.”

“It’s either that or never go back there again. Ghosting’s the only other option.”

Penny sighed. “This is exactly what Esther warned me about.”

“Yep.”

“I don’t want to ghost,” Penny decided. “I like Antidote. I’m not giving it up because of him.”

“Then you should make him talk to you.”

Sure. Make Caleb talk. Easier said than done.

At eleven the next morning, Penny set out for Antidote. Her legs felt like jelly, even though it wasn’t a spin class day.

She still had a lot of work to catch up on from yesterday, and if she was going to visit George in the hospital this afternoon, it would cut into her work time even more. Probably she should skip her coffee break today, but that would mean not seeing Caleb, which wasn’t an option. The anticipation might actually kill her if she put it off for a whole other day. Plus, she didn’t want him thinking he’d scared her off.

She still hadn’t decided what she was going to say to him. Her stomach hurt every time she thought about it. But it also went all fluttery at the prospect of seeing him again. A happy kind of flutter, like you get when you have a crush. Her stomach was hurting and fluttering simultaneously, and it was making her nauseous.

Her trepidation increased with every step that carried her closer to Antidote, and to Caleb. To her impending death by mortification.

No, you know what? He’s the one who should be embarrassed.

She’d done nothing wrong. He was the one who’d kissed her and run away. He’d acted weird, not her. Olivia was right—he owed her an explanation. It wasn’t like Penny was expecting him to marry her or anything. She just wanted to know what was going on in his head. And also, if he had a girlfriend. That wasn’t too much to ask of someone who’d kissed you.

Her pulse pounded in her ears as she approached Antidote. She clutched the door handle in a white-knuckled grip, took a deep breath to steel herself, and pulled it open.

Malik was working the register today and Caleb was at the espresso machine with his back to the door. The sight of his muscled upper back pulling his T-shirt tight across the top of his shoulders sent a shiver of lust-slash-dread down Penny’s spine.

“Penny!” Malik called out as she got in line behind a woman in workout clothes.

Penny saw Caleb’s hands still at the sound of her name, but he didn’t turn around. So that was how he was going to play this.

“I heard you were here when George keeled over yesterday,” Malik said when he’d finished ringing up the woman ahead of her.

“Yeah.” Penny glanced at Caleb again. He was still turned away from her, pretending not to hear, even though he was only a few feet away and it was quiet in the shop except for the muted sound of electro jazz playing on the sound system. Malik must have picked the music today.

It felt like an invisible wall stood between her and Caleb. Like she didn’t exist to him anymore. He’d hit the reset button on their relationship and gone back to ignoring her.

Malik shook his head. “Must have been scary.”

Penny nodded, trying not to remember it. “It was.”

“George is doing okay though, right?”

“Yeah. I talked to his son this morning. He says they’re moving him out of the CCU and into a regular room today.”

Caleb did turn around at that. His eyes found Penny’s and held them for a moment before skating away again. He set the coffee he’d made on the counter, called out the customer’s name, and went to make the next drink.

“You want the usual?” Malik asked Penny, already keying it into the register.

“Yep.” She really wanted a lavender latte, but she was too chicken to ask for it. Malik probably wouldn’t know what it was anyway.

She paid for her plain nonfat latte and went to take her usual seat at the counter. As she sat down, her gaze lingered on George’s empty stool, two over from hers, and her chest squeezed.

He was going to be fine. No need to get all teary again.

When she tore her gaze away, she caught Caleb watching her with a frown on his face. As soon as their eyes met, he turned away again.

What? The heck?

This was getting stupid. She needed to talk to him. But how? Not in front of Malik. She’d have to wait until he went into the back. Or maybe Caleb would go into the back and she could follow him.

She tried to think of ways to get him alone while she watched him work the espresso machine, but she kept getting distracted by how attractive he was. She couldn’t believe she’d actually kissed him yesterday. Those hands had been on her body. Those hips had pressed against her hips. That mouth had been on her mouth.

Focus. She needed to figure out how she was going to get him alone, and more importantly, what she was going to say to him once she did. She was torn between wanting to yell at him and wanting to ask him out on a date, neither of which seemed like the best course of action.

He was wearing a soft gray T-shirt, and tantalizing glimpses of his tattoo kept peeking out from under the sleeve. She’d had her hand on that biceps yesterday. She could have pulled his sleeve up and explored that tattoo up close, if only she’d thought to do it. Would she get another chance?

Her longing grew as she watched him, making it impossible to think of anything else. Lust scrambled her brain. She didn’t know what she was going to do, but she knew what she wanted to do. She wanted to do Caleb.

She was still daydreaming when he finally brought her drink over and set it in front of her. “Hey,” he said without meeting her eye.

At least he’d said something. He hadn’t tried to skulk away. Yet.

“Hello.” Penny stared at his mouth. She couldn’t help herself. Her mind flashed back to kissing him. To the sweet softness of his lips. The prickle of his stubble on her skin. His tongue exploring her mouth.

Nope. Stop. She pushed the image away and opened her mouth to speak—

The shop bell rang as a trio of businessmen came in, talking loudly. Caleb gave her an apologetic look and moved away to help them.

Sighing in defeat, Penny looked down at her latte. It had three hearts in the foam and lavender sprinkled on top. She lifted the mug to her lips and sipped. He’d made her a lavender latte without being asked.

What did that mean? Was it a sign he still wanted to be friends? A peace offering? Or an apology?

She didn’t want him to apologize. She wanted him to want to kiss her again. That wasn’t too much to ask, was it?

She drank her latte while Caleb made the businessmen’s drinks. Two Americanos and a flat white. They carried them to a table by the window where they began arguing about the Dodgers’ pitching staff. Malik was leaning against the counter staring at his phone, and Caleb was slicing lemons with his back to her.

Penny got up and went to the register. Malik glanced up at her and she shook her head. “Caleb,” she said, trying not to let her voice shake.

He set the knife down and turned around. His expression was as blank as stone.

“Can we talk?” Penny tilted her head toward the back. “Privately.” Was it her imagination, or did his eyes widen momentarily in fear?

He wiped his hands on a dishtowel and nodded. “Sure.”

She trailed after him down the back hallway, past the restrooms. He halted in front of the office door and turned around to face her. It was quieter back here. The voices of the businessmen had faded to a dull murmur, blending with the white noise hum of the refrigerator case at the end of the hall.

Neither of them spoke. They were standing close enough that she could see the gold in his eyes. As they stared at one another, the memory of the kiss floated in the air between them. Their fevered breaths. The way he’d moaned into her mouth. Penny licked her lips.

“I owe you an apology,” Caleb said.

The words punctured her thin bubble of hope. “I see.”

“I shouldn’t have kissed you like that.”

“Why not?” she heard herself say a little too loudly.

He flinched at the challenge in her tone. “What?”

“Why shouldn’t you have kissed me?”

The bell on the front door jangled, and there was a murmur of voices as more customers came in. Malik was out front. He could handle them.

Caleb shuffled his feet like he was itching to escape. “Um…”

“Do you have a girlfriend?” Penny asked.

He shook his head at the floor. “No, nothing like that.”

She rested her hands on her hips. “Did you not mean to do it? Am I supposed to believe it was some sort of accident? That you tripped and fell onto my face?”

“No, of course not, I—”

“Because I’m trying to understand why you’d do something like that and then run off and leave me standing there. And why you’re apologizing now for kissing me instead of for running off.”

“I’m sorry for that part too,” he said quietly.

“It wasn’t very nice.”

“You’re right, it wasn’t. I’m sorry.” God, he was beautiful when he was being contrite. It made it impossible to think straight.

Penny stared at his collarbone, which was also stupidly attractive, but not quite as distracting as his face. “So why did you do it?”

“Run off? Or kiss you?”

“Both. Either. Why are you being so weird about all of it?”

“Um.” He shifted his weight, lowering his eyes to the floor. If she hadn’t been standing between him and escape, he might have actually bolted like a horse.

She crossed her arms. “Did you not want to kiss me?”

“No, I…” He trailed off, rubbing his palms on his thighs.

Penny waited. She was prepared to wait all day if that was what it took.

He looked up. “I’ve wanted to kiss you for a long time.”

That stopped her in her tracks. “W—what?”

His eyes looked into hers. “You heard me.”

Something burned in her chest, constricting her voice to a whisper. “But you don’t even like me.”

“That’s not true.” He looked pained.

How long was a long time? Since last summer when he’d started working here? Did that mean—could she have been dating Caleb instead of Kenneth? She tried to picture it. Caleb asking her on a date, taking her out to dinner. Smiling across the table as he tried to charm her, hoping for a goodnight kiss at the end of the evening. She couldn’t even picture the smiling part, much less the rest of it.

She tried to clear her throat and made a choking sound instead. “You acted like you didn’t like me.”

“I was trying to keep my distance.” His expression turned reproachful. “You had a boyfriend.”

“Who was a cheating jerk. Which you could have told me at any time.” If Caleb had ever given her even the slightest hint he was actually interested in her, she would have dropped Kenneth like the flaming bag of dog poop he’d turned out to be.

“I was afraid you’d hate me if I was the one to tell you.”

Unbelievable. Literally, it was impossible to believe this man who’d barely acknowledged her existence had actually been attracted to her all this time. It was inconceivable, and not in the Princess Bride sense of the word.

And yet…he had kissed her. It hadn’t been a half-hearted kiss either. That was a serious kiss he’d given her. Deadly serious.

Penny swallowed. “I don’t have a boyfriend anymore.”

Caleb gazed at her for what felt like a long time. “I’m moving to Mississippi in a month.”

“What?” It was the second time he’d knocked the wind out of her in this conversation.

“I’m starting med school at the University of Mississippi in the fall and my dad got me a summer job at a clinic there.”

“Med school? Wow. That’s—wow.”

“That’s why I’m sorry.” He looked genuinely sad. “Because I’m leaving soon.”

“I see.” Her whole body had gone numb. Pins and needles prickled in her fingers, and she balled them into fists.

The shop bell jangled again and Caleb’s mouth twisted into a regretful grimace. “I have to get back to work.”

“Sure,” Penny mumbled as all her fantasies came crashing down. She felt like she’d been run over by a truck and left by the side of the road. “Good talk.”

“I’m sorry,” he said again as he moved past her and away.

Not as sorry as she was.