How come you guys didn’t come in last night?” Caleb asked when he rang up Penny’s coffee order on Tuesday.

She looked up, startled. He never initiated conversation with her, and now he’d done it two days in a row. Three, if you counted Friday night in the bathroom.

“My friend Cynthia had an art show,” she said. “That’s why we were here Friday night when…well, you know.” Penny had seen her boyfriend with another woman and fled to the bathroom to cry. Fun times.

Caleb’s mouth pressed into a pained line, like he regretted asking the question, and he retreated to make her nonfat latte without another word.

Penny figured that would be the end of his conversational overtures. He’d attempted small talk, and it had been awkward. He’d probably never bother again.

But when he brought her latte to her, instead of dropping it off and hurrying away like he usually did, he lingered at the counter where she sat. Weird.

She thought he might be looking for validation, so she took a sip of her latte, which had another heart flower in the foam. “It’s good,” she said, nodding at him. “Thank you.”

Instead of accepting this as permission to flee her company, he continued to hover nearby, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. It would be one thing if he were actually doing something, like wiping down the counter, but he was just watching her. Staring, really.

Penny refused to look at him, because she was certain if she did, she’d see pity in his face again. He must think she was still distraught over Kenneth’s infidelity, and that was why he was hovering like she was some kind of wounded bird.

She wasn’t. She was fine. Really fine. She’d moved efficiently through all seven stages of grief over the last few days and was now comfortably sitting pretty in acceptance.

In fact, she was glad it had happened. Jinny was right. Kenneth had done her a favor by getting caught before she’d had time to develop a strong attachment to him. And this time, she was going to learn from her mistake. No more Doormat Penny. From now on, she was putting herself first.

Well, except for her family. They were important. And her friends, of course. Friends were also important. And people in need. You should always put the needs of those less fortunate ahead of your own.

But other than that, Penny was putting herself first.

Caleb was still hovering, but she refused to let him get to her. For months, she’d tried to be friendly and gotten clear signals that he wasn’t interested in talking to her. If he wanted something from her now, he was going to have to spit it out.

Old Penny would have felt the need to fill the silence with conversation, but New Improved Penny was done groveling for the attention of people who weren’t interested in her. Just because he was standing nearby didn’t obligate her to talk to him.

She pulled out her phone and opened up the X-Files fan fiction she’d been reading last night. Surely that would send a strong enough you don’t have to talk to me vibe. He’d see that she was reading, realize he was off the hook, and leave her alone.

Nope. Still standing there. Still not saying anything.

Fine, whatever. Two could play this game. He had no idea what he was up against. She could ignore him for as long as he could stand there without saying anything.

“What are you reading?” he asked.

Well, darn.

It was a fanfic reader’s most dreaded question. On the one hand, there was no reason to be ashamed of reading fan fiction, so she shouldn’t have to lie about it. But on the other…she really didn’t want to field the ignorant questions and disdainful comments that usually came next. Plus, he’d probably assume she was reading smut—not that there was anything wrong with smut. But she didn’t want him thinking she was sitting here reading it while he was standing two feet away from her, because that would be weird. She happened to be reading a plotty amnesia fic with only a moderate amount of smut in it. And she wasn’t on one of the smutty chapters right now. So there.

“A book,” she said without looking up. It was the path of least resistance and technically not a lie, since the fic was over one hundred thousand words.

She saw Caleb nod out of the corner of her eye and braced herself for further interrogation. After another moment, he heaved himself off the counter he’d been leaning on and wandered off.

Penny blew out a relieved breath and went back to reading her fic.

Caleb was off on Wednesday, but Thursday morning he was at it again.

“Got any plans this weekend?” he asked when he brought her latte to her.

Never once had he inquired about her plans before, on the weekend or otherwise. Never. Once.

Penny had asked him that exact same question many times, trying to initiate conversation, and never received anything more than a vague shrug and mumbled “Not really” before he made his escape from her presence.

“Not really,” she said, and shrugged.

Caleb continued to hover. Was he expecting her to make conversation? Because if so, he’d be waiting a long time. She was done with that. From now on, she was giving him what he’d always seemed to want: silence.

Malik was working today instead of Elyse, and Penny stared at the back of his dreadlocked head while he pulled shots of espresso. He had on an acid-washed denim vest that looked like something Penny’s mother might have owned in high school. A few stools down the counter, a man in a plaid shirt stood up from his laptop and paced nervously back and forth. He wore a headset, and from his occasional exclamations and muttered curses, she presumed he was on some sort of conference call that was going badly.

Penny took a sip of her latte and thought about getting out her phone.

Caleb cleared his throat. “One of my roommates wants me to go see the new Transformers movie with him, but I don’t know if I want to.”

What? Was happening? Was this the same Hottie Barista who had previously resisted her every attempt to coax him into conversation? After nearly a year of hitting a brick wall, she hardly knew what to do with this wealth of volunteered biographical information. He had roommates, apparently. One of whom liked Transformers movies. Which Caleb himself was ambivalent about. Would wonders never cease?

Something in her expression made him flinch. “What?”

“Nothing,” she said, taking another sip of her latte. “I’ve just never heard you talk this much before.”

“Oh.” He looked embarrassed.

She set down her cup. “Why are you acting so weird all of a sudden?”

“I’m not.” This was a blatant lie, and he knew it. She could see it in his face.

“You don’t have to feel sorry for me, you know. I’m fine. I don’t need pity.”

“I’m not—that’s not it.” He grimaced at the floor like this was the most painful conversation he’d ever had. It was certainly in Penny’s top ten.

She waited.

He glanced up without quite meeting her eye. “I feel bad for not telling you what Kenneth was up to.”

Ah. Guilt. That was almost as bad as pity. Well, he was in luck, because she was more than happy to let him off the hook if it meant things could go back to normal.

“You don’t have to feel bad. Like I said, it’s not your job or your business.”

Instead of looking relieved, he nodded sullenly at the floor. Whatever he’d been hoping she’d say, that was apparently not it.

Penny had no idea what he wanted from her. She’d offered him absolution. What else was she supposed to do?

He started to walk off, then stopped and turned back. “It seems like you’re mad at me, is all.”

Penny’s mouth formed a silent oh. She supposed she had been more short with him than usual, but she was honestly surprised he’d even noticed—or minded. She’d assumed he preferred being treated that way, since it was the way he’d always treated her. Was it possible he’d actually enjoyed her attempts at conversation all this time?

She really did not understand him at all.

“I’m not mad,” she said. “I’m sorry if it seemed like I was. I guess I was just embarrassed.”

His brow furrowed as his eyes met hers finally, causing her stomach to give a little lurch. “You don’t have anything to be embarrassed about.”

“Thank you,” she said, feeling her cheeks heat at his unexpected earnestness.

He nodded and left her alone.

“Why not try something different today?” Caleb suggested when Penny ordered her usual on Friday. “Be adventurous.”

Something had definitely changed between them. It was like the ice had broken, and suddenly he didn’t mind talking to her so much anymore. Evidently, the key to making friends with him was abject humiliation and a little crying. Neat.

“Like what?” she asked, curious to see what he would recommend.

“The Mexican mocha with cinnamon and cayenne is my favorite.”

Penny tucked this information away in the ever-expanding mental folio file with Caleb’s name on it. Favorite coffee beverage: Mexican mocha. Check.

“Too much sugar,” she said, shaking her head. “One of my uncles lost a foot to diabetes. Do you want me to lose a foot?”

Caleb’s eyes sparked with amusement and her mouth fell open in shock. He should have a license for those eyes. At the very least, he should have to issue a warning before he let them twinkle at anyone like that.

“The usual it is,” he said, and went to go make her nonfat latte.

“You’re looking chipper this morning,” George observed as Penny took her usual perch two seats down from him. He was reading the newspaper, and there was a stack of discarded classifieds on the stool between them.

“I’m feeling chipper this morning, thank you for noticing.” She certainly was now, after that eye twinkle Caleb had given her. She might be able to get used to this new normal between them.

As Penny watched Caleb work the espresso machine, she wondered if he’d been smiling at her with his eyes all along and she’d just never noticed. She usually tried to avoid looking directly into his eyes because they were too dazzling. She had a tendency to get hypnotized by them and lose her train of thought. It was much easier to play it cool around him when she didn’t focus on his uncannily gorgeous face.

Maybe his eyes had been twinkling at her all along and she’d completely missed it. Was it possible she’d been misreading him all this time? Or was the eye twinkling new behavior, like his sudden interest in talking to her?

When he pulled a mug out of the warming rack, she caught a glimpse of the tattoo on his right biceps peeking out from the sleeve of his T-shirt. It was some sort of writing, but she’d never been able to see enough of it to decipher it. She thought it might start with a T. Or maybe an I. Possibly an L?

It could be a girlfriend’s name, or maybe his mother’s. Or the name of a deceased friend who died tragically and too young. Or perhaps a favorite childhood pet. That would be sweet. It could also be a bible verse or line of poetry. Or a song lyric. She tried to imagine what sort of lyric Caleb might choose to tattoo into his skin. Was he a Beatles guy or would he choose something more contemporary?

Penny considered asking him about it, since they were being all chummy now. But she feared it might be too personal. They’d only just begun their expedition into the world of small talk. Inquiring about the body art lurking under his clothes felt like an abrupt escalation.

She leaned forward as Caleb poured the milk into her latte, fascinated by the way he could create pictures out of surface tension and fluid dynamics.

“How did you learn to do that?” she asked.

He didn’t look up as he concentrated on his design. “Practice.”

His distraction allowed her to brazenly appreciate his physical perfection. He wasn’t just a pretty face—although his face was certainly one of the top three pretty things about him. Penny was also a huge fan of his arms. Particularly his thick biceps, which flexed appealingly as he worked. And then there was the way his chunky Timex watch drew the eye to his exquisite forearms. She’d never paid much attention to men’s forearms before she started patronizing Antidote. But now, thanks to Caleb, she considered herself a connoisseur.

When he was done, he set the frothing pitcher down and brought her latte over to her.

“A bear!” Penny exclaimed, delighted. It had a big round snout and two cute little round ears. “I love it!”

The corner of Caleb’s mouth twitched, which was as close as she’d ever gotten to a smile out of him. “It’d be cuter if you let me dot the eyes with chocolate syrup.”

“All right, fine.” Penny pushed the latte toward him. A tiny bit of syrup wouldn’t hurt. “Just a dot though.”

Caleb grabbed the squeeze bottle of chocolate syrup and bent over her cup. “You want him to be a one-eyed bear?”

“That would be tragic. Permission to use two dots.”

He made the eyes and straightened, looking pleased with himself.

“He’s perfect,” Penny said, opening her camera app to take a picture. “I love him so much, it almost seems a shame to drink him.”

Caleb arched an eyebrow. “Almost?”

She finished snapping the photo and picked up her drink. “He’s a latte bear. It’s his life’s purpose to be enjoyed.” She pursed her lips as she blew gently across the top. “I wouldn’t want to deny him his life’s purpose.”

Caleb’s mouth twitched again. “Glad you like it.”

He was being so convivial, she decided to test the limits of their new friendship. “You know, it’s funny,” she said. “We see each other almost every day, but I don’t know anything about you.”

He frowned. “What do you mean?”

Penny took another sip of her latte. “I know more about everyone else here than I do about you. I know Roxanne skates with the LA Derby Dolls, her wife is a chef, and they’re going to name their baby girl Julia after Julia Child. I know Malik plays bass, his band is named Savage Oxide, and his mother lives in Atlanta. Elyse has only been here a week and I already know she’s an accounting major with a roommate named Gwen. But I know literally nothing about you. Isn’t that weird?”

Caleb shifted uncomfortably. “Is it?” George’s newspaper crinkled loudly as he unfolded it and turned the page.

“Yes!” Penny said. “I know all about George’s family too.”

“What?” George said, peering over the top of his newspaper. “I wasn’t listening.”

“I was just telling Caleb how weird it is that he never talks about himself.”

“Ah.” George disappeared behind his paper again.

“What do you want to know?” Caleb asked, rubbing his hands on his thighs. He looked wary, but he hadn’t run away yet.

“I don’t know. Anything.” Penny cracked her mental knuckles, considering her opening gambit. “Are you from Los Angeles originally?”

He leaned back against the opposite counter, and Penny tried not stare at the way his jeans hugged his hips—and other parts of him. “I’m an army brat, so I’m from all over. But most recently Fort Irwin, out past Barstow.”

Ah ha! A military upbringing could explain his reluctance to make friends. His detachment and unsociable behavior could be a defense mechanism from moving around so much during his formative years.

“Is that where your parents are now?”

He crossed his arms across his chest, which did amazing things for his already impressive biceps. “My dad’s a doctor at the hospital there.”

“What about your mom?” Penny asked, trying not to stare at his arms.

“She’s a professional officer’s wife.”

“What does that mean?”

He uncrossed his arms and rubbed his thumb over his palm. “It means she does a lot of volunteering and organizing social activities on post.” His voice sounded tight and his entire posture radiated unhappiness. This was clearly torture for him. But he hadn’t bailed yet.

“Brothers and sisters?” Penny asked.

“Two younger brothers. One in college and one in high school.” His jaw tightened. “Both headed into the army like our dad.”

“But not you? You didn’t want to go into the army?”

He made a face like he’d drunk sour milk. “No.”

“You really hate talking about yourself, don’t you?”

“I just don’t like talking about this.”

“I’m sorry.” Penny made a mental note that said family issues and tucked it away in his file.

He shrugged. “It’s okay. It’s just…my dad wasn’t too happy when I didn’t go into ROTC.”

ROTC meant he’d gone to college, but before she could ask him where, a new customer came in and Caleb escaped the rest of her interrogation by going to take his order.

That was all right. Penny’s file on him had already expanded by leaps and bounds. She was pleased with the progress.

“Ask him about something besides his folks,” George said quietly from behind his newspaper.

“Why?” Penny asked.

“His father’s a real piece of work. It’s a sore subject.”

Penny folded down the corner of George’s newspaper so she could look at him. “How do you know that?”

George shrugged. “We talk sometimes.”

Interesting.

So she’d been right about the family issues. Good to know. Next time she’d steer clear of his home life, and maybe he’d loosen up a little more.

She was looking forward to adding more pieces to the Caleb puzzle.

Saturday morning Penny went back to yoga class, because routine was good. Routine was better than a boyfriend because it never let you down.

“Are you feeling better?” her friend Melody asked as they laid out their mats in their usual spots at the back of the room.

They’d met last year through their Great Books group. They were the only two people in the group under the age of forty, and after they’d bonded over their shared love of Marvel movies and fan fiction, Melody had turned Penny on to this yoga studio.

Penny bent to adjust her mat so it was more perfectly parallel to the floorboards. “Tons better.”

“We missed you last week,” the instructor, Tessa, said, laying a hand on Penny’s back as she glided past. Tessa had long blonde hair and a gentle, calm demeanor that effortlessly commanded attention. Despite her youth, she reminded Penny a little of her mother, with her teacher’s knack for inspiring respect without ever raising her voice.

Conversation quieted automatically as Tessa reached the front of the room. She greeted the class, started up a playlist of meditative music, and began leading them through the warm-up sequence.

Penny had only moved up to the advanced class a few months ago. She’d been intimidated to the point of nausea when Tessa had first suggested it. All the advanced women were slender and athletic. They looked like they could have played the Amazon warriors in Wonder Woman, and for all Penny knew, some of them had.

It had taken all the courage she could muster to show up for the advanced yoga class, but Tessa had been right: Penny was good enough, even if most people wouldn’t think so by looking at her.

As they moved into Natarajasana, Melody wobbled and cursed under her breath. Penny tried not to take too much pleasure in the fact that she was actually stronger and more coordinated than thin, pretty Melody. Realizing she wasn’t the worst student in class had been a real boost to her confidence.

She’d originally signed up for yoga because she figured she could use the enforced relaxation in addition to the exercise. Being still and contemplative weren’t exactly her strong suits. She preferred to keep busy, and her mind was perpetually racing ahead, making plans for the next activity. But for one hour every week, Penny pushed all those tendencies aside and focused on mindful breathing as Tessa’s soothing voice guided her through a series of increasingly challenging poses.

Where it all tended to fall apart for Penny was during corpse pose at the end. It was just so boring, lying there on the floor with nothing to do. Today, as she struggled to soften her throat and relax her limbs, her mind fixated on Kenneth and the fact that she’d dated him for two whole months without ever seriously considering whether she actually liked him.

Now that she thought about it, she’d been more in love with the idea of Kenneth than the reality of him. He was fine. But he was always working such long hours—at least that’s what he’d claimed—they hadn’t seen all that much of each other. And she hadn’t actually minded. All those times he was supposedly working late or out of town, she hadn’t missed his company at all. Even now, when she thought about him with that other woman, she wasn’t jealous. She was mostly just mad.

The truth was, she’d never been all that attracted to him. Once the initial excitement of being asked out had worn off, he hadn’t made her heart beat faster or her stomach flutter. The sex had been fine, but nothing special. And to be honest, she’d found him a little…boring. He’d talked about his work a lot, but hadn’t seemed interested in hearing about hers.

Why had she been with him? His hair was receding, he was short and skinny, and he hadn’t shared any of her interests. He only liked dark, gritty movies and dumb reality television shows, and he wasn’t a reader—which should have been a deal breaker all by itself.

Her previous boyfriend, Brendon, hadn’t been all that great either. She’d thought she loved him at the time, but looking back on it, she couldn’t remember why. He’d mocked her fandom friends and her fanfic habit. He’d never wanted to watch her favorite TV shows with her, but she’d spent hours watching football with him, even though it bored it her to tears. Worst of all, he hadn’t talked to her before deciding to move to California. He’d just announced he was moving and said she could come with him if she wanted.

Penny had uprooted her entire life for someone who hadn’t even cared if she came with him or not. No wonder he’d started cheating on her as soon as he got out here.

What was wrong with her? She shouldn’t be settling like that. Sure, she wanted to fall in love and have a family some day, but this wasn’t the way to do it. If she didn’t love herself enough to expect more, how would she ever find a man who would love her as much as she deserved? She needed to start valuing herself and prioritizing her own needs. Which meant asking for things when she wanted them instead of rolling over at the first hint of resistance.

No, not just asking—demanding.

“All right, good work everyone,” Tessa said, shutting off the sleepy music.

Thank God. If Penny practiced much more mindfulness, she was liable to sprain something.